L's POV
by mysterylover123
Summary: L's perspective, episode by episode, of the events of Death Note. Contains spoilers for Another Note. Eventual L/Light, hints of other L pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**CASE FILE #3,172:**

Chapter one. _Wednesday November 3 2003_

In the past five days, over a hundred deaths have been confirmed as connected to this case.

The earliest occurred on November 28th, in Shinjuku, Japan. The victim was 42-year old Kurou Otaharada, who had taken eight people in a daycare hostage. His crime was being broadcast on the news, inside of Japan; in fact, all of his crimes were only ever reported inside that country. He died suddenly of a heart attack; according to eyewitnesses, the death came from nowhere. He did not appear particularly distressed; his autopsy and medical histories reported no history of heart problems. His heart simply stopped beating.

This was the first victim. A man who had committed two crimes, over the course of several days. A dangerous being, to be certain, but hardly one of the world's worst criminals.

The next five days saw all of the world's most dangerous convicts die abruptly of heart attacks.

These criminals were well-known and dangerous people. Mass-murderers, serial rapists, terrorists, crime lords, child molesters; many of the world's top most wanted, abruptly wiped out in only five days.

Such a mass killing couldn't help but draw the attention of the police and the public. The international nature of the crime has called for Interpol, the FBI, the CIA, to take some form of action.

I official began work on the case on November 30th, 2003.

As a rule, I never touch a case unless either more than ten deaths or one million dollars are concerned. The second day, Saturday November 29th, at least thirty deaths occurred. Prior to this, I had been searching, as usual, for the next case; the next mystery to occupy my time. Two weeks had passed since the previous case, one of the longest times I've gone without a case to solve, and I was growing restless, on the hunt for something new.

No, not restless. Bored, I believe, would be more accurate.

Of course I noticed the deaths that occurred on November the 29th. When I have no case to work on, in order to search for the next one, I utilize every resource available to me (And I have quite a few) to find suspicious deaths or unsolved cases. On the second day, Sunday November the 30th, I decided that these criminal heart attack deaths were definitively connected. There was no doubt in my mind, by the end of the day. This was my next case.

I quickly searched my records to find any similar cases occurring prior to November the 29th. I instantly found Kanagawa's death, on the 28th. After extensive research, I determined that this was the first murder. The same method of murder (an instant heart attack), the same general type of victim (a criminal whose identity was reported in the media). The difference between this murder, and all the subsequent deaths, was the seriousness of the man's crime. The others have all been some of the world's most wanted and dangerous criminals; this man had only taken hostages or stolen. A minor criminal, at most.

Over the next few days, I followed all subsequent heart attack death reports. None of them struck me as natural deaths. While some of the victims had a history of heart trouble, for all of them to die in this manner was simply too coincidental for me. On Monday, December the 1st, the pacing of the killings changed from the two previous days. Fewer criminals died, and only in the afternoon, while on the first two days, the killings had occurred at different times, and far more frequently. My first thought was that perhaps the killer was slackening off, coming close to being finished. I quickly corrected this assumption. The changing time of the deaths corresponded nicely with the change from the weekend to the weekday. Most people work or attend school at that time. Our killer had free reign the first two days, but now he has to wait until the afternoon. Interesting.

The crimes have continued at this pace. I have thought of nothing but this case since the 30th. Unlike the killer, my time is not restricted by an office job or school. I am free, at all hours. The date is now December 3. Interpol has finally been called in to deal with the case. Tomorrow, I will send Watari to them. I have a plan for how to prove my theories correct.

My theories on the case:

These deaths are murders. There is no accident here. It is not coincidence that the world's top criminals (and one innocuous one) should die in five days from sudden heart attacks. There is no disease that could spread and cause this; autopsies would have revealed it. Therefore, these deaths are the result of deliberate human action.

The deaths are the work of an individual. The obvious implication when many people die in disparate locations is a mass movement - some kind of grand conspiracy. Many have accused the police, the FBI, the illuminati. To start with, I have investigated many conspiracy theories in the past. Most have been easily proven to be utter nonsense. This also lays the grounds for my claim that these deaths are the act of one person. When a mass organization agrees to kill using a number of different members, no matter how well-organized that organization or clear their instructions, the individual members will each go about committing the crimes in their own unique ways. These crimes are all identical. There is no difference, aside from the first.

So, based on the crimes, I have already begun a profile of the criminal. The media are calling him "Kira". I will refer to him as such. I also make the assumption that Kira is a man, mostly due to the higher ratio of male serial killers over female. I will not discount the possibility of Kira being a woman, but in my notes, for the sake of convenience, I will refer to Kira as he.

Kira is fairly young. He is probably no older than I am (I am, at the time of this writing, twenty-four years old.) Most likely, he is much younger. My guess would be no younger than twelve and no older than twenty-five. This is based on what I believe to be his motivation. Kira has only targeted criminals. He believes he is doing the right thing, that by committing these murders he is somehow benefitting society. This is a very childish mindset, the mind of a young and rather naive person who sees the world in black and white. Criminals are evil and must be killed.

Kira attained his ability, or his knowledge of how to kill from a distance with just a heart attack, on the 28th, sometime in the afternoon. His first victim was just an experiment to test this ability. That is why the first victim, Otaharada, was different from the others. His crime was being broadcast in Japan around 6:30 pm, the time when Kira has been committing his weekday murders. I theorize that Kira was watching the broadcast, not only based on the timing of the crime and death, but on the utter impossibility of his being physically present at all of the other murders, and the method of all the other crimes. No witnesses at the scene fit the description. The police conducted thorough interrogations; I have viewed what footage I could find, and no one at that scene is Kira. Seven children and one teacher; a teacher who was bound and gagged at the scene and unable to take any action against Otoharada. Approximately one minute after Otoharada's name, photograph and crimes were broadcast on Japanese news, he dies of a sudden heart attack.

Having successfully tested his power, Kira then begins killing the world's most notorious criminals. Not just a few of them, not just the criminals inside of the Japan. Kira thinks that he will eliminate all the criminals in the world (a highly unrealistic goal, but his goal nonetheless). He sees himself as justice.

He has already inspired many foolish people, who are talking about him, on the internet, in groups. They think he's some kind of God. That he's here to pass judgment and rid the world of sin. Kira probably enjoys this. He is not a man who wants to keep his crimes secret. If he were, even a very foolish criminal would have at least taken some precautions; would have staggered the killings over a period of time, to prevent the world from catching on. This notion fits my idea of Kira quite well, of course. He is childish and sees himself as all-powerful. He wants the world to worship him, to remember him. To notice him.

I know all this about Kira, because his line of thinking is not far from my own.

I am also childish; I have a great deal of power, and that allows me to be, in a way, all-powerful. I am Justice. I too enact my ideas of righteous judgment upon the world, but always from a distance, through a screen, through hearing information and deciding right from wrong. Unlike Kira, of course, I know that the evil of the world can never be permanently eliminated. Criminals will always return. I know that there is good and evil in everyone, even in myself. The only way for Kira to really purge all evil from the world would be to kill everyone in it, including himself. I know this, so I would never act as he has done. But I can understand him. And I will catch him.

I am L. I am the world's greatest detective. And I have never lost a case.

Chapter two. _Friday, December 5. 2003._

 _Morning._

My trap is in place. This afternoon, at 6:30, I will know.

The agents from Japan at interpol are named Soichiro Yagami and Touta Matsuda. Yagami is chief of police and lives in the Kanto region. Matsuda is in his position due to his connections. Yagami is 48 years old, married with two children. Matsuda is 24 years old, single, with relatives in high places. I have seen Yagami at Interpol meetings before; a consistent Japanese representative. I did a little research on them, because I believe Kira is in Japan. This means I will have to work with these men at some point.

No, there is no 'at some point' about it. I had to convince them to enact my trap for Kira. Yagami is sharp and honorable; Matsuda is foolish but compliant. After I explained my reasoning to Yagami, as to why Japan was the likely location, he was willing to agree to my suggestions.

I have decided to start in the Kanto region. Hm. I wondered if Yagami would object to targeting his home county. He wasn't pleased at the idea of Kira being in his _country._ He didn't like it, but I believe he assumes this test will rid Kanto of suspicion. He doesn't expect anything to actually happen. In truth, I am not certain anything will happen either. I may have completely miscalculated; Kira might be in a different region of the country, and even if he is, he may not respond.

My trap is simple.

Today is Thursday. We have a narrow window of time: Between 6 pm and 7. This is when Kira conducts his 'judgments' on the weekdays. He watches the news for his inspiration. This way, we can be certain he's watching. We will announce a worldwide broadcast. That ought to feed Kira's ego nicely, and he won't guess that I've narrowed down his location. If he is in Kanto. I have searched and selected a prison inmate, due to be executed today, whose arrest has not been publicized, and who shares my initial: Lind L. Tailor. As soon as I came up with this trap, I started searching records for a suitable person. He has agreed, with the understanding that if he does this, his execution will be indefinitely postponed.

Lind L. Tailor. Age 35. Given a life sentence for the murder of a world leader. If his crime and identity were known to the public, his home nation (which I will not name here, in case these notes fall into the wrong hands) would be the target of war from the world leader's home nation. I speak vaguely here, for the reasons I have outlined above. Suffice to say, only I and a handful of police know anything of his arrest and sentencing. A resourceful man, highly cooperative. To some degree, he resembles me physically. The surface descriptions match; I hope that if, by some miracle, Kira has heard of me, the only descriptions he might be familiar with will cover Lind L Tailor just as well.

Tailor will pose as me. I have written him a script. Here it is:

"I head up an international police task force which includes all member nations. I am Lind L. Tailor, otherwise known as L. Criminals around the world are being murdered by a serial killer. I consider this crime to me the most atrocious act of murder in history. I will not rest until the person or persons responsible are brought to justice. Kira, I will hunt you down, I will find you. Kira, I've got a pretty good idea what your motivation might be and I can guess what you hope to achieve. However, what you are doing right now is evil!"

Yes, that will do very nicely. The first, of course, all bland facts, a false reveal. " _Most atrocious act of murder in history",_ that should appeal to Kira's vanity. In fact, all of the first part is for that purpose. The first part, the threats, the declaration…I doubt this will frighten Kira. He must know that the police will be looking for him. Childish, maybe, but not stupid. This part should flatter him. Telling him what he does is evil, perhaps, may provoke him. I intend to provoke him. The script goes on to insult him, decry his beliefs. Lind will challenge him to kill "Me". We will continue the broadcast until we find the region where Kira is hiding.

If Kira can kill from a distance, if somehow he has the ability to kill me, then this might be my last day alive. Provoking him is risky, but worth the risk. I always knew I would go down fighting a criminal. Even if I lived to an advanced age, I would not stop investigating until my faculties failed, and perhaps not even then. Of course, I am not going to _risk_ my life, if I don't have to. The possibility that Kira will be able to kill me is very low. Perhaps he will not even try. After all, he's never killed anyone who wasn't a criminal before this. Still.

 _6:45 PM._

We meet at last.

 _"I had to test this just in case but I, I've never thought it would actually happen. Kira, it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just witnessed it. Listen to me, Kira. If you did indeed kill Lind L. Tailor, the man you just saw die on television, I should tell you that he was an inmate, whose execution was scheduled for today. That was not me. The police arrested him in absolute secrecy, so you wouldn't have heard about him on TV or through the internet. It appears not even you have access to information about these types of criminals. But I assure you L is real. I do exist. Now try to kill me. What's wrong? Hurry up! C'mon. Right now. What are you waiting for? You've got to do it. Come on! Try to kill me! What's the matter? Can't you do it? Well, Kira, it seems that you can't kill me after all. So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint. Let me return the favor. I'll tell you something that I think you'll find interesting. Although this was announced as a worldwide broadcast, the truth is, we are only broadcasting in the Kanto region of Japan. I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it looks like that won't be necessary. I now know where you are. The police treated your first killing as an unrelated incident, but, in actuality, the first of your victims was a suspect in Shinjuku. Of all the criminals that have recently died of heart attacks, this one's crime was by far the least serious. Furthermore his crime was only ever reported inside Japan. I used that information to deduce this much. You are in Japan. And your first victim was little more than an experiment, which means that you haven't been killing for very long. We decided to broadcast in Kanto first because of its large population, and luckily we found you. To be completely honest with you, I never expected that things would go this well, but it won't be too long now before I'm able to sentence you to death. Naturally I'm very interested to know how you are able to commit these murders without being present, but I don't mind waiting a little bit longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you. Let's meet again soon, Kira."_

I broadcast this message this afternoon. I am quite pleased with the result of my little experiment. Interpol was quite cooperative. Yagami and Matsuda have agreed to cooperate with me, along with the Japanese police force. Yagami did not seem pleased to know that Kira was in Kanto. Matsuda, on the other hand, seemed excited. He has the chance to chase down a high-profile criminal. I'd imagine he sees this as the opportunity he's wanted, to prove his worth as an officer. To show that he's not here just because of his connections. As for Yagami, his fear may not be as much for himself but for his family. If Kira will target anyone going after him (as tonight's experiment proved), then would he target their loved ones as well? No, I don't think so. If Yagami brings up this objection, I have a rebuttal. Kira only targets criminals and the people who oppose him. If Yagami's family (or any single officer's loved ones, for that matter) are not targeting Kira, there's no reason why he would target them. Kira needs to maintain his image (his self-image) as a righteous force.

Based on today's experiment, I'm continuing my profile of Kira. He did not attempt to kill Lind L. Tailor until my statement that his deeds were "evil". After that, a minute passed before the fatal heart attack. Whatever it is that Kira does, he seems to need at least a minute (though possibly less) to do it. I gave him the same amount of time it had taken Tailor to die when I provoked him to kill me. When it did not happen after that amount of time, I concluded he was unable to. What does Kira need in order to kill? To see his target? He has never killed any suspect whose image wasn't broadcast. His target does not have to be filmed live; an image seems to be…but then, suspects whose names were never released or spelled incorrectly have not been targeted, and their images were shown. The two consistent factors across every broadcast death. Across every Kira murder. A name and a face. And why he cannot kill me just yet. He has neither. Precious few have ever seen my face. Only Watari has seen me and known who I was. No one at Wammy's ever saw my face directly. Naomi Misora saw me but did not know who I was. My real name…I'm not entirely certain that I have a 'real name'. But whatever it is, Kira doesn't know it. And without that, there is nothing he can do.

 _There is nothing_ you _can do to me. Yet._

I feel as if Kira is beginning to take shape before me. He responds to the slightest insult with murder. I call his actions "evil". He kills "me". Of course. This fits in with my idea of you quite well, Kira. You wish to be seen as righteous. As God, perhaps. So you're a perfectionist. You can't handle the slightest bit of criticism. You probably refuse to consider yourself _evil._ Anyone who opposes you, _they_ must be evil. Because if that isn't the case, then you aren't perfect. And you can't handle not being perfect.

Someone this obsessively perfectionistic is probably like that in all areas of life. He is probably highly successful at his profession, whatever it may be…given his obsession with criminal justice, odds are good that he's either a highly ranked justice administrator (police officer? Judge? Lawyer?) or a student of law. Or, if he is a teenager, at least one with an interest in law. Hm. If Kira is a teenager, he's likely at the top of his class. Let's see. If he's a student…high schools in Kanto let out around 5 pm. Kira probably needs time to return to his home. Does he have an obligation at nights, or does he simply go to sleep? Schools here open quite early, and if he's a top student, he must need some time for studying. That explains the narrow window for the weekday killings. It seems unlikely that Kira is a police officer, the more I think about it. I suspect that you're quite young; too young to hold any high judicial position, no matter how skilled and perfectionistic you may be.

If you were a police officer already, Kira, you would have another outlet for your brand of 'justice'. You might become a trigger-happy cop. And your schedule wouldn't be so regular. Officers are on call too much; your timing wouldn't always be so consistent. No, the student explanation makes perfect sense. A perfectionistic top student like Kira would probably have already mastered his classes. A high school or early college student would be left with no outlet for his personal interests, especially if they tended towards criminal justice. A high schooler with an urge to compete would take up sports. One who wishes to be an author could write poetry after school. But what outlet would there be for an aspiring criminal justice student? I know if I had been sent to a regular school, I would find the experience stifling. There would be no time to solve cases. So Kira, you have chosen murdering criminals for your hobby. Your outlet. Students have more time to pursue a hobby, at least if they don't have to work in addition to their studies.

A perfectionist. Am I assuming too much to guess that you might be a student? You could be working a job with consistent weekday hours. I will keep my mind open.

" _Kira...I will hunt you down wherever you're hiding and I will eliminate you. I am.. justice."_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

 _Tuesday December 9th, 2003_

Today, I met with the Japanese task force. Over a hundred men, gathered in a room, pooling information. There has been a great deal of noise surrounding Kira. False calls, people claiming to be Kira, to have heard of him. Of course, Kira would never reveal himself in such a prosaic manner as an anonymous phone call. He craves recognition, and that recognition must be grand, spectacular.

Moving on to the victims. My theories regarding time of death have been confirmed. 4pm and 2 am on week days, local Kanto time. 68% 8pm and 12am, excepting weekends and holidays. I shared my thoughts on Kira with the task force, each of those I have already outlined here. But to reiterate:

 _Kira is likely a student, a young man; he is only killing criminals, and is driven by an idealistic notion of justice._

 _He wants to become a God. His notion of right and wrong is very childish._

Simple enough.

Matsuda raised his hand during the meeting and pointed out a few statistics concerning Kira's actions. He sounded almost as though he sympathized with him. This caught my attention.

Touta Matsuda. Age 25. He is barely within my bracket for Kira's age, and not a student, but to some extent he fits the profile. He's young and naive. He's an officer, interested in criminal justice, living in the Kanto region. And he's spoken out loud that he sees Kira's point of view. Of course, Matsuda's background does not fit my idea of Kira. And if he were Kira, his killing method would have to be something so unnoticeable that the other detectives would not have observed him enacting it during the broadcast of Lind L. Tailor. I will keep my mind open to the possibility, but in truth, I sincerely doubt that he is Kira.

 _Thank you, everyone. I feel we're one step closer to finding Kira. Before I go, I'm afraid I have one additional request to make. This is directed to the teams investigating the victims, TV news, and Internet. I would like you to go back and take a closer look at the exact way in which the victims' identities were made public. In particular I want to know if photos of the victims were made available to the public in Japan. I leave it to you._

I wish to know, for certain, how Kira is able to kill these people. My theory is that he needs a name and a face. If we find that every victim had their photograph released to the public, then my theory will be confirmed. If not, then I'll have to think of a new factor - something else consistent, across all the various murders. Finding out how Kira commits his crimes is of paramount importance.

There is something in Kira's method of murder that reminds me of someone I knew, not that long ago, though only by reputation. A man who was easily able to glean anyone's name. A murderer who somehow could tell, just by looking at a person, what their real name was, and who murdered three people with alliterative initials for this purpose.

Beyond Birthday. B. The murderer of Believe Bridesmaid, Quarter Queen, and Backyard Bottomsplit. The second one meant to succeed me as the world's greatest detective.

I checked with the Los Angeles prison where Beyond Birthday was placed. My suspicions were put at ease. He has been safely imprisoned there since August of last year. If he is Kira, he would have known that Lind L. Tailor wasn't me. He knows what I look like. He is one of the few people in the world who knows my face. I don't feel B.'s hand in this. But nonetheless, there is something familiar about this case.

 _Thursday, December 12, 2003._

Over the last two days, there have been 46 more victims.

Inmates in Japanese prisons. One died on the hour, every hour, today and yesterday, of a sudden heart attack.

So, Kira, you can determine the time of death. That's interesting. Perhaps my one-minute theory is incorrect. You can certainly kill from a distance; I always knew you did not have to be physically present. There is simply no possible way for you to be in multiple locations at once. That's just common sense. My theory that you are a student, however, is only strengthened by your sudden change in time. The investigators were quick to fall for this ploy.

 _You're missing the point. It does appear less likely now that Kira is a student, but that's not the message he's sending by doing this. Ask yourselves. Why every hour and why are all these victims in prisons where they should be discovered immediately. Why not other criminals like before? I believe Kira is telling us that not only can he kill from a distance, but he can also determine the time of death. But something is not right. as soon as we began to suspect that Kira might be a student, the pacing of the killings changed. As if to contradict that theory. Coincidence? No. Too convenient. This can only mean that Kira has access to police information. It's obvious now. This is a direct challenge to me._

 _So, Kira has found a way to obtain information from the task force headquarters. This is one fact that cannot be ignored. But what does he get out of all this? What is he hoping to achieve in the end?_

What are you hoping to get, Kira? This is all a deliberate ploy, I sense that much. Your actions are always extreme. You know no limitations. I now know that you certainly have access to classified information. Touta Matsuda? Again, another sign pointing his way. But if Matsuda _was_ Kira, wouldn't it be to his advantage to make it appear that Kira was a student? Why change that theory? This counts in Matsuda's favor.

I know for certain that this is all a deliberate ploy on Kira's part. He's challenging me. I suppose we are even, then. I challenged him with the broadcast. He's challenging me with this changing time of death. I have made catching him my top priority. He has made me his. He is more concerned, now, with provoking me, than with his own safety. But I did not provoke him with that broadcast for the mere purpose of insulting him. My real priority was determining his location. And Kira, I believe, thinks like me. He has another purpose behind this. This is not just to challenge me.

No, this is to create new problems for me.

Today, three men on the task force resigned from the case. They're all afraid to die. They fear Kira's power. These three did as I asked, and looked into the question of how the victims identities were made public. They have confirmed my theory about the photographs. Which quite understandably, has made them frightened that they will soon be killed. Everyone on the task force - each individual, and those closest to them - is in danger, and under suspicion. Including myself.

Their comments on this subject were not generous. "Unlike _someone_ we know, we are out there investigating this case wearing police IDs with our names and photos on them…we don't hide our faces. We're out in the open." I suppose that much is true. They have begun to resent me for my anonymity, the very thing that protects me the most from Kira. Well, it doesn't really matter. This pattern will continue throughout the case; the officers who are truly the most dedicated to catching Kira will remain, even if it means risking their lives; those who are not will leave.

Is this Kira's goal, then? To cut down the number of officers working for me? With fewer allies in Kanto, it is true that my task will be more difficult. But I have allies all over the world. I could just as easily call upon the same number of ex-USSR secret agents to do the same job. Either Kira has not considered this possibility, or I am wrong as to my theory of his purpose. To split my alliance with the Japanese task force, perhaps? By revealing that he has classified information to me, and that he can control time of death from a distance to the officers. In the case of the former, this is a clue that _I_ would pick up, but they might not.

I feel as if Kira is standing in the room with me, watching my every move, speaking to me directly.

 _Wednesday December 18_

I have devised a plan. And that plan makes me sick.

Following my realization that Kira was getting information from inside police headquarters, I decided to make a move. Addressing my American contacts, I asked for twelve FBI agents to be sent to Japan. On Saturday last, they arrived, in absolute secrecy. What will the agents do, then? They are to gather information on the 141 people in the police force with access to classified intel, and the people closest to them. That is a hefty job for only twelve individuals. I am assured that these are the best of the best, but I know for a fact that this is not true. Because the best of the best is no longer an agent.

My colleague Naomi Misora determined to retire, three months ago, from the FBI. Misora Massacre. Age 24. Former agent, and the person who caught Beyond Birthday. I am certain that were she one of the agents, she would spot Kira easily. But I am, perhaps, in luck. One of the twelve agents is Misora's fiance, Raye Penber. And Misora is here, with him, to introduce him to her parents.

Perhaps I am fortunate that Misora is no longer with the agency. Because there is more to my plan than to simply gather intel on the police. I have been studying them, certainly, trying to gauge if any could be Kira, and examining their families. But because I know Kira is among them, I believe there is a possibility he might spot the person tailing him. And if he does, he will not rest until he has killed that person. And when that agent dies, I will be able to narrow down my list of suspects to those they were tailing.

This is my plan. Kira will kill anyone who tries to stop him. He will struggle against surveillance, because there is the possibility that his follower will see how he kills and provide me with a hint. And if Penber is the one doing the investigating, then Misora will be out of danger.

I have looked into Raye Penber; when I heard that Misora was leaving her job to marry him, I was curious what sort of man would interest her. I was disappointed; Penber is frustratingly banal. He is nothing extraordinary as an agent; he does what he's told and acts by-the-books. Perhaps she is drawn to him for the normality he represents, rather than for himself. In any case, Penber will likely talk about his case with Misora. If he is indeed the one to tail Kira, Misora may spot something he would miss. Therefore, it is to my advantage to have Penber assigned to the most powerful and influential members of the task force. Or at least, those most likely to either be, or have associations with, Kira.

Who, then, are the most likely people? Touta Matsuda is already high on my list of suspects. Deputy Director Kitamura has a considerable amount of power, and a family - a family who could be attaining information. Chief Yagami, the same. I will have him start with them. Which first, though? Matsuda? No, tailing him might be too obvious. He spends all his time at police headquarters anyway. I will start with the two directors and their families.

Kitamura has a grown son, a wife, and a cousin who lives with them. His son Ryou is out of the age range for Kira, the cousin is just a child, the wife works overseas.

Yagami has two children, both in the right age range for Kira, and a stay-at-home wife. Chief Yagami. I pause to consider him. He is far beyond the age range himself, and much more mature and reasonable than I would expect Kira to be. This could be a well-executed mask, of course. But his schedule doesn't agree well with Kira's, either. He's almost always on-call, so much that he rarely has time for his family. He doesn't fit the profile well.

His wife, Sachiko Yagami - if she were the culprit, once again the timing would make no sense. She is a stay-at-home housewife. If she were Kira, she would probably do her killings during the day while everyone was gone.

Yagami's two children, then. The daughter, Sayu, is fourteen - just old enough to be Kira. The son, Light -

I pause for a moment over that name. _Light,_ spelled with the kanji for moon, but said like the English word for Light. Such a strange name for the chief to choose - the chief, who seems so down-to-earth and pragmatic, to give his first born son such an unusual name…

Two children, in the right age range for Kira. I will assign Raye Penber to begin with Chief Yagami's household. Then Kitamura's, then Matsuda. I will continue with the most suspicious individuals. Perhaps Misora will spot something. Penber may listen to her and report it to me. I might have a chance to work with her again after all.

 _Kira. I think I can guess what sort of life you lead. You_ are _a student. Probably a top scoring one. You have police connections. You aspire to be an officer. If you're the child of one of the detectives on the case, you want to follow in your father's footsteps. I feel that you are watching my every move. Well, from now on, I will be watching yours._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 4.

 _Morning. Friday December 19th 2003_

Watari has brought me the early observations from the agents. McNamara's writings on Shuichi Aizawa. Holland's writings on Ukita. Several others - at least thirty different people being investigated. So far, there's nothing really noteworthy about any of them. I cannot see Kira among these suspects. Of course, that doesn't mean much. And fortunately, no one has been killed yet.

I feel I have been remiss to have spoken so little of Watari. That is not his real name, of course, but I won't be revealing his real name here anymore than mine, just in case Kira should happen to read this. _I wonder what Kira will make of me, when I catch him?_ Watari has been my support, my watcher, my ally, since the very first time I acted as L. He is not my father; I have very little memory of my actual parents. But he is my caretaker; before I turned eighteen, he acted as my legal guardian. Upon turning eighteen, we used his money and connections to erase all records of the identity I held before we met. I am legally non-existent, I have no official name but L. Watari is the only person I speak to directly; everyone else knows me only through a screen. This is fortunate for me, because Kira will never be able to discover my name. I suppose this makes me the only one who _could_ truly stop him.

Watari is in a little more danger. While he is an anonymous man now, his true identity was once well-known enough that there is some danger of Kira being able to trace him. I have given him that warning.

" _Watari, however faint, there is a possibility that Kira will learn your real name. I am safe because I have no real name to learn. But you -"_

 _"Am I any more in danger than I was when I saw you through our past cases? Then as now, we were fighting murderers. This is no different."_

 _"As long as you are certain."_

Now, I turn my focus back to Kira. The files on the police officers are frustrating. There is very little useful information in them. The officers themselves are here at the station morning, noon, night; they have very little by way of personal lives. I admire that kind of dedication, of course, but it doesn't promise much for finding Kira. Most of their families have no strong candidates, based on my theories. Of course, this is just the first thirty suspects. There are over two-hundred individuals who could potentially be Kira. Which is certainly a smaller number than the billions of people in the world, which we started with, or the millions in Japan or Kanto. But I find myself wishing for something that might narrow down the search for Kira a bit further.

 _Afternoon._

Kira has been busy.

Last night, he killed three more inmates. Their deaths were heart attacks, but this time, the case isn't as simple as that. Each victim exhibited unusual behavior before their deaths.

Victim #1: Kyotzi Yutomoto, age 43. In prison serving a life sentence for murder. Draws a pentagram on the wall of his cell using his own blood, before dying of a sudden heart attack. The entire process took about an hour.

Victim #2: Taki Hamaki, age 34. In prison serving four years for larceny. Left a nonsensical note behind, written with actual ink, before dying of a heart attack. The process took about ten minutes.

Victim #3: Jounouchi Saiku, age 32. In prison serving ten years for fraud. Escaped his cell and ran to the staff bathroom before dying of a sudden heart attack. About eight minutes.

Watari sent me this information today during the meeting with the Japanese task force. Concerning Saiku…

 _It sounds like he was afraid that Kira would find him. It's believable that our victim might've been genuinely afraid and wrote this. But we know Kira can control the time of death. What if he can also determine the actions in the moments leading up to death. In which case…_

I have instructed Chief Yagami not to release details of the deaths to the media. I have reason to believe that Kira was performing some kind of test using these criminals. If that's the case, we'd only be giving him the results if this information is leaked to the public. That's what I said to the chief, of course. I know that Kira will learn the results regardless, because of his access to police information. Restricting them from the media is my gesture to the Japanese task force. I have no reason to alienate them; I can operate without them, but I would prefer to have them on my side. If I act like I'm suspicious of them, they will only grow more suspicious of me. I think, perhaps, that is what Kira wants. I'm not interested in giving him what he wants.

So now to the question of these new victims. What test _is_ Kira hoping to perform with them? He has never controlled a victim's actions prior to death before. Or if he has, it has never been this blatant. Is Kira simply testing out his powers, seeing what he can do? He seems to develop new abilities at every turn. He can already kill from a distance, knowing only his victim's name and face, and has access to inside information. Now he can control people like puppets. What new power will he reveal next?

 _If Kira is really using criminals as test subjects, what is he trying to achieve?_

There are three more criminals, who simply died of heart attacks without exhibiting any kind of unusual behavior, last night, around the same time as the three previously mentioned. Simply business as usual for Kira, or the products of an experiment that didn't work? Perhaps he told them to do something that they were unable to do. If I had the ability to instruct people like that, and I were Kira, hoping to test that power, I would first try something fairly simple, then escalate. Once I had tested the ability initially, I would start instructing my puppets to act in my place, to get information for me that I was unable to attain. Perhaps Kira's control works like hypnosis. A hypnotist cannot command a person to do something that is physically impossible for them to accomplish, and cannot command them to act in a way they cannot normally act. Did Kira write down instructions that were physically impossible to accomplish for these three men?

Regardless, what this comes down to is that Kira is testing his powers. Why is he testing this ability now? Did he just learn about it? Perhaps. He's been experimenting a bit lately. He revealed that he could control the _time_ of death on purpose, but it's also possible that this too was a test, to see if he could. Kira is, in a sense, flexing his muscles.

 _If Kira used those criminals to conduct an experiment of some sort, it means he's about to start something. If he moves now, there's a good chance that the FBI would notice someone acting suspiciously. But perhaps he has a different goal in mind altogether. Could the pentagram and this letter be some kind of message?_

This is the first time Kira has done anything but kill with heart attacks. The pentagram…often associated with mysticism and magic - is this his way of claiming his powers are magic? He is using a kind of hypnotism; Pentagrams are traditionally the sign of magician charlatans. The dying letter? I should perhaps examine that more closely. Can Kira's long-term goal be understood through these victims? And why now? Kira never makes a serious move without a reason.

The FBI agents have been trailing the Kira suspects for two days now. And just like that, only a day after the surveillance begins, Kira's behavior changes. No, this is not a coincidence. Kira has spotted the agent tailing him. He's spotted his follower within a day, and reacted. He can't kill the man tailing him, because even if that agent was clumsy enough to be spotted, he certainly wouldn't be stupid enough to give a Kira suspect his name. If I were Kira, and I knew I was being followed, what would I think? I would probably guess that L was behind it. And Kira will probably feel very cornered and frustrated; he knows his every move is being watched, so he has to be extremely careful to avoid appearing suspicious. Even for a master actor, that would be irritating. And a little bit frightening.

Is Kira frustrated and angry? Are these new victims his way of lashing out, telling me that he'll escalate? No, I don't think so. When Kira is petulant and angry, his reactions are less rational and calculated. This took planning. He would've had to spend time coming up with the dying message for the second victim. No, this wasn't impulsive, this was calculated. Kira has a larger purpose behind this. I search between these two events.

The FBI agents begin tailing Kira. Kira begins controlling the actions of his victims before their deaths. The response makes no sense with the situation. Why respond to being followed with experiments? Is it _possible_ this is just a coincidence, that the agent hasn't been spotted yet?

I have far more questions now than answers.

 _Saturday December 20th 2003_

More information on the suspects. Raye Penber has sent in his report on the Kitamuras, Matsuda, and Yagamis.

I am once again disappointed in him. I suppose it was too much to hope that he would repeat the case to Misora; that she would somehow add her thoughts to his observations, or pull some solution, or ask to contact me. It is very frustrating to know that she's there, in Kanto, in the _same region_ as Kira, and yet unable to act as my agent again.

Penber's report on Kitamura's family is filled with plain facts that I already knew myself. His report on Matsuda is not much better. His report on the Yagamis feels rushed, as if he wished to get it over with as quickly as possible. Perhaps assigning him to these people was a mistake. He writes about all of them "No cause for suspicion." I even noticed Matsuda, while Penber was investigating, acting oddly outside the police station; he writes nothing of this. It seems this man wouldn't know Kira if he saw him.

Still, I have to read his reports, and check for anything. These people are suspects; one of them _could_ be Kira. And if they are, Penber was following Kira when he killed these new suspects. I have approached each suspect with that in mind - all of the agents' notes have presented me with a potential scenario, in which these actions coincide with Kira's.

First: Touta Matsuda. Most of his movements I'd been able to account for myself. He lives in an apartment, only one train stop away from the police station. He spends all his time at the station, working on the Kira case. He's one of the last to leave at the end of the day. According to Penber, he goes straight to bed. The apartment isn't entirely visible from the street, but it has only three rooms - kitchenette, bedroom, bath. At the time Kira killed those victims, Matsuda was at the station. A decent alibi, really.

Second: The Kitamura household. Deputy Director Kitamura, his grown son Tauro, their child cousin Miko. Tauro works from home and babysits Miko; he runs some kind of online sales company. He has no hours. His schedule doesn't fit with Kira's very well; he spends most of his time out with Miko. During Kira's murders last night, he was with Miko and Kitamura in the park, according to Kitamura. Kitamura is Matsuda's opposite; he can't wait to leave the office and go home. He adores his family, misses his wife and speaks to her on the phone at every chance he gets. He seems reliable, but I wouldn't rule anything out.

Chief Yagami was also at the station at the time of Kira's murders last night. He is like Matsuda; a workaholic. . Penber states that Sachiko Yagami spends all her time in the house; she rarely even goes outside. Her life seems to revolve around her children. Sayu Yagami, in Penber's notes, spends most of her time out with her close friends; she's eager to leave school and is always in company. Light Yagami, the eldest son, has inherited his father's workaholic streak. "During the week, he goes to school and cram school at night. Dates on his day off. A normal kid, just a hard-working senior in high school." About all of them, he writes "No cause for suspicion." He was surveilling their house last night when Kira committed this new string of murders. Last night, Sayu Yagami arrived home first; he observed her and her mother watching a soap television series though the window. Light Yagami arrived home next, late at night long after Sachiko had put Sayu to bed, went straight to his room and put out the lamps, presumably going to sleep. Suitor Yagami arrived home last, and did the same.

Penber's notes about them are not even that detailed. He was following them last, right before his shift ended. He paid particular attention to Light, for some reason; his notes on him are more detailed than those on the others Perhaps it feels unseemly to suspect a young girl, a housewife, and a police officer. I make it a point to suspect everyone. Still, Penber's focus on him is interesting.

All in all, the FBI surveillance has revealed very little. If Kira is among those being followed, he's capable of killing in a way that won't call attention to himself. Of course, it's entirely possible the agent following him (especially if it was Raye Penber), simply wasn't looking close enough. Meanwhile, I'm still left with the question of why Kira has chosen _now_ to start controlling his victims prior to death. What is he planning? He can't control the _agents_ unless he learns their names. Or has he already learned the name of the man following him? Does he plan use that man for something?

If the agent following Kira is Raye Penber…Penber is engaged to Misora. How much has Misora told him about me? Or worse, if he plans to control Penner, what does he intend to have him do? Kill her, kill me? Kill himself? Kill all of the other agents? Would Kira do that? How would he know the agent's name? Is Kira clever enough to trick a trained FBI agent into handing over his identification?

None of the agents knows anything compromising, but nonetheless, one killing the others…will Kira arrange that murder in a way so that the murder cannot be brought home to any one of the agents? If so, how? Will it be possible for me to detect it happening? One of the agents may call the others, claiming to want a meeting - or call them claiming _I've_ requested a meeting. No, that's too sloppy. The agents would demand to hear from me or Watari on the matter. If killing them all is truly Kira's goal…

Has Kira left me a clue on one of the dying victims? I will spend this evening looking through the letter left by Taki Hamaki. Hopefully, I will be able to spare the agents - and Misora's fiancee - from Kira's plan.

 _If I'm looking in the wrong place, though - if I cannot guess Kira's game…then all twelve FBI agents may die._


	4. Chapter 4

_Sunday December 21st 2003_

There has been no forward momentum.

In another week, I will have been working on the Kira investigation for a month. I'm not used to cases taking me quite this long to unravel. Progress on the Kira investigation has been frustratingly slow, and today has only brought me more questions. I've been examining the dying note, searching for answers in every line. For some kind of sign.

And now this new message.

 _"L, do you know" "Gods of Death." Is he trying to tell us that gods of death exist?_

 _"Listen, Watari, Tell the police to monitor prison populations closely for the next few days. Kira may use other suicide notes to communicate with us."_

This is the first time we have spoken, really. I have made moves against him, and he against me; I have felt as though I could guess his thoughts, but now Kira speaks to me directly. So what is he trying to tell me? 'L, do you know', that's the first message, the first line in a letter written by a dying man, relaying Kira's words. Everything after that is nonsense. Then 'Gods of death'. Since they were killed in that order, I must assume that is the order Kira intends me to read them in. L, do you know Gods of death?" Is he asking me if I am acquainted with death gods? Is he claiming to be _himself_ a god of death? Perhaps there are more parts to the message to come. I must try and fill in the rest of it, I suppose.

L, do you know, gods of death…walk among us?

L, do you know, gods of death…will find you?

L, do you know, gods of death…are real?

No, none of those endings sound quite right to me. What would Kira say? Why is he saying _any_ of this? This was important enough for him to tell me. And I can't shake the feeling that this is all a joke to him. Some kind of sick game. Kira responded to the agents following him by conducting experimental killings. His experiments are escalating. He's taunting me, specifically.

I have to understand what this means, and what Kira is trying to say. In the meantime, I've continued receiving reports from the FBI agents on the 141 officers. Reading through them is becoming exhaustingly banal. The agents besides Raye Penber are a little more thorough, less distracted with other things, and I sense their frustration with the lack of progress mirrors mine. Some of the notes seem to stretch for something Kira-like in the suspects.

"Officer Ryko Fujioka's wife, Shori Ryko, age 34. Spends unusually long hours at the pet store with their family dog. Somewhat suspicious."

"Officer Eriko Manako, age 40. Spends his off-hours watching television late into the night. Apparently reruns of old serials. Apparently."

None of this is particularly helpful.

I've made up my mind. There is no point in acting through emissaries anymore. If you want something done right, I suppose, you have to act yourself. I'm going to Japan.

 _Sunday December 27th_

Nearly a week of carefully laid travel plans, and I'm finally here. Nobody knows that my location has changed except for Watari. I'm staying in a hotel suite, but I intend to switch hotels every few days. This way, Kira cannot keep track of me. I am now in Kira's county.

 _Saturday December 28th, 2003_

 _L, you have a call from the director of the FBI._

 _It's me. I've got a report in front of me right now stating that all of our agents in Japan are dead. All twelve died of heart attacks. I can only assume Kira is behind this. Look, I'm sorry, but its already decided. We are calling off our investigation._

All twelve. All twelve FBI agents, investigating the Kira case in Japan, and the director of their investigation, died simultaneously of heart attacks after receiving a file containing the names of all twelve on their laptops from the director in charge of the case. It happened yesterday.

I had thought this _could_ happen, but I didn't think it _would._ Kira was able to kill every last investigator, in one stroke. He attained their names, somehow… was Kira in the company of one of the investigators, prior to killing them? If he was able to attain just _one_ of their names, he could have controlled them (we know he can control his victims prior to death) into giving him the others, giving him the name of their boss…then, controlled the director into sending that file, so as to ensure there was no way to know which of them was tailing him. There's no way to narrow down which investigator Kira used, which name he knew. It could be any one of them. By extension, our suspect list is still over 141 people, and with that -

I need to calm down. Kira's experiments. They are not insignificant. I still have information. I still have the task force.

 _Chief Yagami: L, I've just got off the phone with the director of the FBI. According to him, it seems that you arranged for the FBI to come to Japan and investigate everyone here associated with the task force_

Yes, I did.

 _Chief Yagami: So how do you explain this? Are we now suspects in our own investigation?_

I felt that it was necessary to uncover Kira's identity.

 _Chief Yagami: I cannot accept that. I find it unbelievable that you would spy on us. The very people working with you on this case._

The conversation continued, much in this vein, for a while. In the background, I could hear the rest of the task force muttering. My secret is out; the whole of the Task force in Japan knows the truth. It won't be long now before most of them quit the case, excepting only the most dedicated.

If Kira's connection is through one of the officers who quits the case, then he will no longer be able to access private information (and in any case, from now on I will instruct all the task force members who remain to a void placing files pertaining to the investigation anywhere they could be found.)

If Kira is among the officers, he will stay with the case no matter what. There will be fewer investigators from now on; if he is one of them, it will be easier to spot him.

If Kira is connected to one of the officers who remains, and continues to use inside information…should I allow a deliberate leak, to see if he'll take the bait and prove himself? That would only work with a small enough number of officers. A very small number, who might include Kira himself.

Kira has killed twelve agents. He has turned the task force against me. He has forced me to come to his own country. And now…

 _We have another victim. A note was found at the scene._

The note. Part 3. L, do you know, gods of death…

Love apples.

 _Damn you, Kira._

 _Tuesday, December 30th, 2003._

The last few days have been tense. The Kira Task force agents are living in fear for their lives. Nobody wants to discuss what's happened. To add to the fearful atmosphere, a cloud of suspicion rests on their shoulders. Kira is getting information from police headquarters. So he must know one of the officers. Or _be_ one of the officers. I've seen, through Watari's laptop, the glances exchanged between them. Matsuda in particular, because he was the one to bring up the possible benefits of Kira's actions. I, of course, must suspect all of them.

Up until this point, the task force has been instructed not to tell anyone aside from the police what case they're working on. In other words, not to tell their families that they are investigating Kira. This was a necessary security precaution. But now that they are living in fear for their lives, I have given them permission to do so. To some extent, I have done this to see how Kira will respond. He already knows of the case, but how will he respond to the officer in question telling him? A trained police officer might be able to spot a lie…then again…

How did Kira convince the agent following him to give up his identification? Which of the agents would be the most easily fooled by such a stunt? I've examined all twelve of them carefully. I believe that Raye Penber is the most likely candidate. He was diligent, but highly credible. And he was in a hurry to finish his investigation. Of course, he stopped investigating on the 20th; would Kira have waited a full week after attaining his name before killing him? Perhaps - if he wished to avoid appearing suspicious. After all, it's only my knowledge of Penber's character that leads me to suspect _he_ was the one Kira fooled. There's no evidence pointing to him in particular.

I considered contacting Naomi Misora…but she will be grieving his loss. I am not very skilled at consoling the bereaved. I've seen death too much; it isn't to me what it would be to a normal person. Most people, if they are lucky, may only lose a loved one a few times in their lives, and this loss will feel like the end of the world. I have seen death so much it feels like a daily fact of life, just as much as the sunrise or daily meals.

I know what to do about the task force situation. It's just a matter of how many will be left. I am going to give Chief Yagami a call.

 _Wednesday December 31st, 2003._

 _Morning._

Chief Yagami explained to the task force the nature of the case. That anyone who remains will be risking their lives just by doing so. He gave them the option to leave the case, or remain. If they chose not to stay, they would not be demoted. Only those who are absolutely devoted to the case will remain. Only the agents who would be willing to die to stop Kira. Or one agent who might _be_ Kira.

Only six remain.

Soichiro Yagami. Touta Matsuda. Hideki Ide. Ukita. Kanzo Mogi. Shuichi Aizawa. This will be the task force from now on.

If one of these men is Kira… the most likely candidate is still Matsuda. The youngest, the most naive, the most sympathetic to his cause. If one of them is connected to Kira, then it is most likely Soichiro Yagami, since he has two children and was being investigated by Penber. If even one of them leaks information about me to Kira, both I and Watari may be in serious danger. Especially if one of them _is_ Kira.

 _The fact that you've chosen to stay means you have a strong sense of justice. I trust all of you._

 _Aizawa: Hold on a second. L just said that he's decided to trust us now, but honestly what reason to we have to trust him?_

 _Ide: Look, L. All of us have agreed to put our lives at risk to bring Kira to justice. So I hope you understand what this means. We're really sticking our necks out here._

 _Aizawa: But you never have to show your face, do you? You just give the orders._

 _Yagami: L, if all of us are going to work together on this investigation, and if you truly meant what you said abut trusting the ix of us, could you come here so we can all meet in person?_

 _The thought had already crossed my mind. After all, I did say that I trusted all of you._ In writing, then. _I'm staying in a suite at the Teito hotel at the moment. But I'll be switching hotels every few days from this point on. I want you to think of these hotel rooms as the de facto headquarters of this investigation. If this arrangement is acceptable to all of you, then split into two groups, and stagger your arrivals so you come thirty minutes apart. Please arrange it so you are all here at midnight._

At midnight, tonight, I will see these six men face to face. Even if one of them is Kira, the other five have all decided to risk their lives in order to catch him. Yagami and Aizawa both have families that might also be at risk. I appreciate their help. Perhaps, in time, they will come to trust me. I don't really trust anyone but Watari. But I will extend these six men as much courtesy as I can.

 _Kira. It seems we are getting closer to each other in equal steps. It's only a matter of time before we collide. So be it. I'm ready to show my face. I'll make my first public appearance as L. If you ever manage to find out about these secret meetings, I'm sure you'd feel compelled to move in. That's what I'm counting on._

Will Kira kill these men? If one of them is his source of information, that would be tactically unwise. If one of them is Kira, then I am about to meet him. I am about to meet these men in person. I am, I will admit, rather curious to meet Chief Yagami. He is, I am fairly certain, not Kira. And he has shown himself to be a dedicated and honorable officer. He piques my interest. Aizawa and Ide, both do not trust me at all, and are hot-tempered, proud, difficult, but good officers. Mogi is quiet and hard-working. He gives little away. Matsuda and Ukita are young, and Matsuda is the only one with over a .05% possibility of being Kira. Still, in himself, other than that, he is not particularly interesting.

Nonetheless…

I return to my profile of Kira. Childish in the extreme, more and more so. His actions are those of a kid playing games. Still, he is also ruthless and very, very clever. The trick with the FBI agents shows him to be intelligent. Once again, Kira acts how I would act in this scenario. If this pattern continues, perhaps I will be able to anticipate his next move. Even if I show my face to him, he will not know my real name. I am growing rather curious to meet him. What sort of person could convince a trained FBI agent to hand over their name, while investigating a murder suspect who needs a real name to kill? The sort of person anyone besides me would be unwilling to suspect. An upright, normal citizen.

There's a knock at the door.

 _It's unlocked. Please, let yourselves in._


	5. Chapter 5

_Thursday January 1 2004. 12:01_

Only five now. Ide has left. Five men, the first five human beings I have spoken to, in person, for years. Soichiro Yagami, Touta Matsuda, Suichi Aizawa, Ukita, Kanzo Mogi.

 _I am L._

In response, my new allies all reveal their names and photo Ids, one by one. It's truly astounding how trusting some people can be. They need to be more careful.

 _Bang._

 _Aizawa: What the hell was that?_

 _If I were Kira, you'd be dead, Mr. Soichiro Yagami of the NPA. Kira needs a name and a face in order to commit murder. But I'm sure you've already figured out that much, haven't you? Please do not give out your names so carelessly. Instead, let's value our lives._

I lead them into the inner room, away from the door. The probability that our discussion will be overheard through the door is less than 10%, but I don't like taking risks. They follow me inside, murmuring amongst themselves.

 _That's enough small talk for now. Come this way. Please turn off all your cell phones, handhelds, and any other communication devices and leave them on the table right there._

 _Aizawa: What, do you think we're gonna be using our cell phones during this meeting to leak information?_

Shuichi Aizawa. Age 34. Known for being short-tempered, proud, and sensitive to the slightest critique. He might be a problem; working with me, at least, will be frustrating for him.

 _Yagami: It's all right. Just do as he says._

Soichiro Yagami, Age 48. Honorable, reasonable, hard-working and generally reliable. A privilege to finally meet you, face-to-face. I won't be surprised if you see this through to the very end.

 _Matsuda: I realize he's been cautious from the very beginning, but I still can't tell if he trusts us or not._

Touta Matsuda. Age 25. Young, naive, eager to prove himself. If any of these men is Kira, it would be him. But he has none of Kira's patience or intelligence.

 _No, I just find them distracting. I can't stand it when peoples' cell phones are ringing while I'm trying to talk. Let me start by saying nobody takes notes on anything that's said in these meetings. that means when we leave headquarters, any information we need is committed to memory. Please make yourselves comfortable._

 _Matsuda: Excuse me, L -_

 _From now on, I'll have to ask that you stop calling me L. It's Ryuzaki now, just to be safe._

 _Matsuda: Ah, OK, Ryuzaki. If we know that he needs a name and a face to kill, couldn't we cut down on the number of victims by keeping criminals' names from the news?_

Not a bad suggestion. But sorely lacking in any understanding of Kira's mind.

 _If we do that, we'll only be putting the general public at risk._

 _Ukita: The general public? Why_

 _Kira is childish and he hates losing._

 _Matsuda: But how do you -_

 _Yagami: Just what do you mean?_

 _Well, I am also childish and I hate to lose. That's how I know._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, would you mind being a little more specific for us?_

 _Early on in the investigation, I tired to provoke Kira with that broadcast. Up until then, we thought that Kira would only go after criminals, but as we all witnessed, he didn't hesitate to kill my stand-in. Also, as soon as I said we knew he was in the Kanto region, in defiance he made sure his next victims came from within Japan, as if to say 'What are you gonna do about it?' He's met each of my challenges head-on, and he's never missed an opportunity to return the favor. Now what do you think would happen if we try to use media restrictions to hide criminals from someone like that? "If you choose to withhold the names of your worst criminals, I'll kill petty criminals or the innocent. I'm holding the whole world hostage, so who's it gonna be? I'm not the evil one here, but all those who oppose me by hiding criminals, you are truly evil."_

As I speak, in his voice, it seems as though Kira is once again in the room with me. As if I am merely repeating his words, his thoughts, or as if I heard him speak to me like this before, and am merely explaining my unusual acquaintance to these people.

 _That's exactly how Kira thinks. In any case, let's look at another way we can use the media to draw him out._

Time for a new plan. How to provoke Kira now? Our method must keep the task force safe, and build plausibly on the events thus far.

 _How about something like this? 'Death of FBI Agents infuriates the US. Latest killings anger the international policing community. Nations agree to send 1500 investigators to Japan.' For Kira this would be way beyond what he faced with the FBI. He'll see everyone as a potential threat. Psychologically, he'll start to feel cornered, and that would cause him to take some kind of drastic action._

Believable enough. Perhaps a bit repetitive. In terms of our confrontation, Kira might notice the similarity. It's risky, but I wish to make Kira uncomfortable. He has been making things very difficult for me lately. It's time for us to be even.

The investigators are certainly very pleased with my plan.

 _Well, before we celebrate, I'll tell you the rest of my thoughts on the Kira case. Kira works alone. He had access to all our classified information -_

 _Aizawa: What evidence do you have that he's working alone?_

I pause, uncertain. I do not, really, have decisive evidence here. Am I being premature in making this statement?

 _Yagami: Hold on, Aizawa. Let's listen to his entire theory before asking questions._

With this permission, I go on.

 _We know he needs a name and a face to kill, and to some extent he can control a victim's time of death and their actions before dying. We already know that much. Please keep that in mind. And listen carefully to what I have to say next._

Here are the most important facts:

 _12/14: 12 agents enter Japan._

 _12/19: Using inmates, Kira conducts experiments, manipulating his victims actions before they die._

 _During this window of only five days, Kira became aware of the FBI's presence and obviously felt threatened._

How, Kira? You spotted the agent following you. You may or may not have guessed your stalker was an agent, but you do not wish to be followed, regardless. You wish to keep your anonymity. Perhaps you even guessed your stalker worked for me.

 _Because he didn't know any of their names or faces, he was at a disadvantage. He needed to know how much control he had over his victims before he could use it against the twelve agents._

In order to eliminate _all_ of them, you needed to be able to control at least one. That one could only be the agent following you, since you needed that agent's help to get the file.

 _12/27: Kira gets ahold of a file, containing the names and faces of the FBI investigators in Japan, and killed all twelve of them. It has so far proved impossible to determine which agent gave Kira that file. There is no evidence to suggest who Kira made contact with._

I have gone over this question in my mind, over the last four days, ever since I learned of the murders. Even when I first dispatched the agents to Japan, I had considered that possibility, but I had been certain the agents would take precautions. Of course, it would be unwise at the moment to air this fact aloud to the task force. They would, naturally, be horrified to think that I had considered this possibility.

 _12/19-12/27. During this period, to the best of our knowledge, at least 23 individuals died of heart attacks. But these victims were different from Kira's previous targets. They were all alleged criminals, ex-convicts, or suspects in ongoing investigations. So legally speaking, they were innocent. What this indicates is that Kira had to manipulate these lesser criminals in order to kill those FBI agents. He killed that many people, so we would be unable to tell the decoys from those who were actually used. In truth, he probably only needed a few. He waited 8 days so the FBI could investigate other suspects, which meant there'd be no timeline linking him to their deaths. I suspect Kira had to be one of the people being investigated by the FBI between the 14th and the 19th of December. In fact, I have no doubt._

You're very patient, Kira. You thought this through. But I know you now, well enough to guess what you'd do in this scenario. The period between the 14th and the 19th. The first five days.

 _These are files provided by the FBI, and they contain additional information you might find useful. For obvious reasons, you're not permitted to take them out of this room, but -_

 _Matsuda: Amazing There might only be five of us, but with this much information we should be able to cover a lot of ground._

If Matsuda is not Kira, he brings a great deal of enthusiasm and energy to the team. He is far more optimistic about the future of this case than I am. Or anyone else, really.

 _Aizawa: We'll split into two teams; one team traces the FBI agents. The other looks at the heart attack victims._

 _Matsuda: There weren't many people who had access to information from the headquarters, and of those the FBI only investigated a small group in the first five days._

If he _is_ Kira..would being an optimist necessarily contradict that theory? Is Kira a positive thinker? Not in the traditional sense, of course. His ideas are very Nietzchean. 'God is dead, God has remained dead, and we have killed him.' So we need a new God…

 _So, does anyone have any questions?_

 _Yagami: Actually, Ryuzai, I do have one question for you. And it pertains to what you said to us earlier about how you hate to lose. Does the fact that you've shown us your face mean that you've lost? By just being here are you admitting defeat to Kira?_

Very sharp, Chief Yagami. You keep track of information quite well. And you are quite respectful towards me…I don't believe Kira would be respectful, not truly so, towards anyone.

 _That's right. BY showing my face to you now and sacrificing the lives of 12 FBI agents, I have lost the battle. But I'm not gonna lose the war. This is the first time I've ever put my life on the line. I want to show Kira that we're all willing to risk our lives if that's what it takes. And that justice will prevail no matter what._

They seem quite reassured. Surrounded by agents, five men (if none of them are Kira), all willing to die in order to defeat him, for a moment I feel…reassured. So few people are willing to risk their lives for something like this. I have never, before this, had to. What is it about Kira, why have I decided to take this risk, for this case, when I have worked over 3,000 different investigations in the past? I have had my life threatened, of course, by killers from a distance, but I have never been tempted to face them and risk being killed in a physical confrontation. I have always left the actual confrontation to the police. Risking my life would be pointless, and dangerous. The world has come to rely on L, the Great Detective, to solve the most difficult cases, and if I were to be killed, even with -

Am I really motivated by righteousness? My speech for Lind L Tailor pronounced Kira's act the "Worst act of murder in history." Am I risking my life to stop the worst evil I have ever faced?

No.

 _Aizawa: All right then, Let's do this Ryuzaki!_

 _Before we go any further, I have to be absolutely sure that none of you are Kira. So I need to speak with each of you individually before you leave today._

 _Aizawa: What's the deal? He still doesn't trust us?_

No. I do not trust anyone, completely.

 _Yagami: No, I think it's a fair request. Try to see it from his perspective. Kira's been getting information from our headquarters from the very beginning. So there's a good chance that he is one of us._

 _Matsuda: Chief's right. Working this case has given us a chance to se him in person._

 _Aizawa: He's risking his life to be here._

Risking my life. I don't think I am risking it much, but more so than any other case…I have chosen to reveal myself.

 _Things are going well. Just one clue. A single decisive factor is all I need. Just one thing._

 _2 am._

I have been conducting interviews with the Task force. Each one in private, in the innermost room, opposite sides of a table.

 _You are very young, Matsuda-san, to be so advanced in the Japanese police force._

 _Touta Matsuda: Well, to be completely honest, Ryuzaki, my uncle is good friends with Deputy Director Kitamura, and -_

 _I see. But you are still willing to risk your life for this job?_

 _Touta Matsuda: Yes, sir! Absolutely. And not just for the job, you know? To stop Kira, and - and to work with you. I mean, it really is a privilege._

The likelihood that Matsuda is Kira is now below .05%.

 _Mr. Aizawa, you have a family to consider, I believe._

 _Shuichi Aizawa; Yes, my wife and my daughter. I assure you, neither one of them could be Kira._

 _Why, exactly, are you here, Mr. Aizawa?_

 _Shuichi Aizawa; To stop Kira, obviously._

 _No. That's not what I meant. Here on the police force._

 _Shuichi Aizawa: I - there's no good answer to that, what answer could I give that wouldn't sound like something Kira would say?_

Very anxious to avoid appearing suspicious. But that doesn't necessarily make him guilty.

 _I have heard much of your sense of honor and justice, Chief Yagami._

 _Soichiro Yagami: Thank you._

 _Of course, twisted thought it may be, Kira is acting out of a sense of honor and justice._

 _Soichiro Yagami: What Kira is doing is a gross perversion of 'justice'. He threw out any idea of making the world a better place when he started murdering innocent agents and officers simply doing their jobs, and playing with people like - like puppets. He's a monster._

 _You have a family, I believe, to think of._

 _Soichiro Yagami: Yes. You appear to be informed of that fact already._

 _Have you told your family about your involvement in the Kira case?_

 _Soichiro Yagami: Yes - but, only yesterday. Only after the deaths of the agents, when I knew the full risk I was taking. I'm sorry if I acted against your wishes, but my family deserved to know the truth._

 _How did they respond?_

 _Soichiro Yagami: They were concerned for me, naturally. My - my wife and daughter asked me to quit the case. But my son supported my staying. And I agree with him. Risky as it is, I intend to stop Kira no matter what._

I have inquired, of each agent, if their loved ones (the loved ones being investigated by the FBI) knew of their involvement. Chief Yagami and Shuichi Aizawa, both married men, did indeed inform their wives. Aizawa's daughter is to young to understand. His wife, like Yagami's, begged him to quit the case.

If Kira were a loved one of any of these task force members, he (or she) would encourage that loved one to stay with the case at all costs. Kira needs to have that access to the case preserved, in order to keep his tactical advantage. Of course, that isn't evidence, simply more suspicious behavior. Well, one instance of suspicious behavior, out of only five. It's possible that Kira's connection was to one of the agents who walked. In which case, he's lost that advantage.

 _3.00 AM._

My interviews are complete. I am now certain that none of these men are Kira.

I am also certain that I want Naomi Misora's help again.

All of these men are good, persistent agents. They are clearly intelligent, hard-working, and willing to put their lives on the line. But none of them show much aptitude for reading Kira. Misora had a knack for reading serial killers. She could get into their mindsets, as I so often have to. I wonder, perhaps, if she would like to join the task force. Kira killed her fiancee. I believe once she has finished grieving, she will be ready for revenge. Unfortunately, I am not sure how long the natural period of grief would be - so I do not know what the appropriate time would be to call her.

Instead, I return my attention to what I have now. Out of those connected to the remaining task force, only two suspects fit Kira's profile.

 _Chief Yagami's children. Light and Sayu_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 7

 _Thursday. 1/1/2004._

 _3.30 AM._

None of the remaining task force members are Kira. Time will tell if their loved ones are Kira or not. We're doing quite well; I have asked Watari to bring the necessary precautions to ensure their safety. Yet, despite all of this, I still feel as though…as though we're running out of time. That there's something we may have overlooked.

 _4 AM._

 _I apologize for questioning all of you like that, but I'm afraid I had no other choice. I've determined that Kira is not among us._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, who can you be certain that we're all innocent?_

Good, Yagami. You're being quite cautious. I wonder…How will you react if it turns out one of your children is Kira?

 _Well, to be honest, from the beginning I set a number of traps that would reveal if any of you was Kira. But after speaking with you one-on-one, I don't feel the need._

A moment of tranquility, and then my cell phone rang.

 _Watari: L, I've located those items you asked me for. No one followed me, but it may look suspicious if I'm gone any longer._

 _Understood. I'm just about finished here anyway. You've got a key, so let yourself in._

An end to the call. And then.

 _Watari is on his way._

Watari arrived, punctual as always, five minutes later. To most outsiders, Watari appears completely stoic; he's spent a lifetime keeping a calm, reassuring face to the world. I've become accustomed to the slightest change in his mood. Today, he's tired, and anxious, though he won't show a flash of that anxiety to the others. I suppose I've asked him to stay up many late nights for this investigation. Tonight, I'll suggest he sleep in.

 _Watari: Gentlemen, it's an honor to meet all of you._

 _Aizawa: This person is Watari?_

 _Matsuda: Um, what about your usual outfit?_

 _Watari: If I dressed like that, I'd be announcing to the world that I'm Watari. That's all it takes to give away the location of our headquarters and Ryuzaki._

 _Matsuda: Oh, I see._

 _Watari: Ordinarily, I would never show my face to any of you. The fact that I'm here is proof that you've won Ryuzaki's trust._

 _Matsuda: Now that you mention it, I do feel honored._

Now that I'm convinced Matsuda isn't Kira, I'm rather astonished that I ever even considered the possibility. He's like an otaku teenager, who somehow found himself in an adult body.

 _Watari: Well then, I've brought those items you requested. It's all here._

 _Could you please pass them out to everyone?_

 _Watari: Yes. Gentlemen, these are your new police IDs._

Last night, once I saw the six remaining task force members, I sent Watari instructions for creating them. I had considered the efficacy of fake IDs before, but getting an entire police force to use them on a daily basis simply wasn't practicable. Six men - now five - will work. Each man has a false name that's easy enough to remember, but isn't their real one. Taro Matsui for Matsuda. Close to his name, so he can remember it. Asahi for Soichiro Yagami. Nothing like his name, but a suitable one for a the Chief. It means "Rising sun." Indeed, life seems to organize itself around Soichiro Yagami…

The clock on the mantlepiece seems to be unusually loud today. I'm once again daunted by the feeling that something is missing. There's something we've overlooked.

 _Yagami: Our names and ranks are false._

 _Matsuda: Why did you give us fake IDs?_

Do you really have to ask?

 _As you know, Kira requires a name and a face to kill. We will confront him with that premise in mind, and I think it should be obvious why._

 _Ukita: Yes, but of all people, the police shouldn't use fake IDs!_

I wonder if I care more about these mens' safety than they care about their own.

 _Yagami: Enough. what choice do we really have given the capabilities of our enemy? As long as you're working on this case, I think we're going to need all the protection we can get. It would be foolish not to use them._

The others agreed. Yagami has a forceful personality; if he lays down his conclusions, they are usually accepted. He's seen as the final word on any given subject. The task force will default to him in anything. It will be best to keep that in mind when dealing with them.

 _Remember, any time you're in a situation where you have to give out your name to a stranger, make sure to use the name from your fake ID, understood? Right. And be careful not to take them out while in the presence of other police officers. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that could cause problems for us._

If I had thought to give the FBI agents fake identification cards…(would they have accepted them at that point?), their deaths would have been avoided. Of course, if Kira is connected to one of these five, he already knows the real name of his source of information, and he won't be in a hurry to kill that person. Without them, his inside look at the task force will be cut off. If only for practical reasons, Kira will keep his source alive.

 _Watari: Very well, then. I'd like to request that you wear these at all times._

 _Matsuda: Belts?_

 _Watari: Each one has a transmitter hidden in the buckle. This will allow Ryuzaki to monitor your whereabouts. And when you press the buckle twice like this, my cell phone will ring displaying your name. And I'll call you back immediately, but you won't see my number displayed. In the morning, all of you will go to the police station as usual. Then later on in the day, we'll use this method to confirm the name of Ryuzaki's hotel and his room number. Please use this for emergencies as well._

This plan should keep these officers safe. I also intend to keep an eye on their extracurricular activities. Perhaps I'm wrong, and Kira's source has already quit the task force. And of these five men, only one of them has a connection to anyone likely to be Kira.

Soichiro Yagami. The monitoring system will allow me to keep an eye on your movements outside of the task force. My suspicions of your family are only due to their being the only one _in_ the task force to fit my profile. But is that really all? No. The Yagamis are also on the list of people being investigated by the FBI during the first five days. In fact, they were being investigated the _day_ before Kira began his experiments. By Raye Penber.

 _Matsuda: No way! This is totally cool. I feel like some kind of secret agent going after Kira._

 _Yagami: Quiet, Matsuda. This is not the time to be fooling around._

 _Matsuda: Yes, sir._

If Kira is one of Chief Yagami's children…Kira, you must have spent your entire childhood being reprimanded. 'Don't do this.' 'Keep quiet'. 'This isn't the time'. 'You need to take this seriously.' You would have learned quickly not to slack off or shirk responsibility. It would explain why you are so diligent and quick to act.

Quick to act…Kira has been very quiet the last few days. Since killing the FBI agents, you've gone back to your daily routine. And yesterday, there were no reports of deaths at all. That's the quietest you've been since I first met you. Which, to my experience, isn't good. What are you _thinking_ right now, Kira? Are you feeling safe, or would it be too arrogant to assume that much?

If Kira is one of Chief Yagami's children, then it's possible he not only has access to police information, but a variety of perfectly credible reasons for actually being at police headquarters at any given time. 'I'm here to visit my father'. 'My dad left his lunch behind, I'm here to drop it off.' 'Where's my dad? My mom needs to talk to him, it's urgent.' Perhaps something more plausible than that. In any case, this means that the police station may not be safe. And even if it isn't true…

 _And come to think of it, who's at the police station right now?_

 _Yagami: Actually, no one's there at the moment._

 _That's not good news. We need someone there at all times, work in shifts if you have to._

 _Yagami: I understand. Aizawa, I'll put you in charge of that for today._

 _Aizawa: Yes, sir. I'm on my way. Won't take me long._

So, if Kira arrives, and something happens to Aizawa, he will be able to alert me. If Kira arrives and takes no notice of Aizawa, I will ask for a full report about the police station.

 _5\. AM._

The officers have divided into two teams. Ukita and Yagami are examining the heart attack victims. Mogi and Matsuda the people under investigation from the 14th to the 19th. Most of the information is not new to me; I have already spent many nights selecting and categorizing the information, playing the game of elimination. I keep going over certain facts in my mind.

Only about thirty suspects were investigated in that time period. Any one of them could be Kira. I'm inclined to look at the people investigated on the 18th and 19th, because Kira has always reacted as quickly as possible to any perceived threat. He acted within seconds to kill Lind L. Tailor; he changed the timing of his murders the very day we first suspected he might be a student; he frequently kills people within minutes of their identities being broadcast on the news. He would react just as quickly to the agent trailing him.

So who was being investigated at that time? Once again, the Yagami family name appears on the list. And another thought occurs to me. Of all the agents conducting the investigation, Raye Penber was the most likely to be fooled by a plausible cover story. His investigation of the Yagamis was rushed; he was eager to wrap things up so he could spend time with Misora, get away from the case. He wasn't cautious enough, he was always looking for a quick solution to any problem.

 _Matsuda: Hey, uh, this is weird. My name's on the list._

 _Mogi: Everyone on the task force was being investigated._

 _Matsuda: And Chief's. We're both - hey, you had them follow the Chief's kids?_

 _Yagami: What?_

 _Matsuda: There's files here on your kids. They're on the list, from the 15th to the 19th._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki - what is the meaning of this?_

 _I had the agents follow both the police and those connected to them._

 _Yagami: Our_ children?!

 _I've always believed Kira to be young, naive, and idealistic. It is likely he is no older than Matsuda, and possibly much younger._

 _Ukita: But - these are just kids! Having agents follow them around, that's -_

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, do you seriously suspect our families?_

How to answer that? I believe it's too early to tell Chief Yagami 'At this point, all signs point to one of your children being guilty.' No, for Chief Yagami's sake, I hope I'm wrong. I hope that Kira has lost his access to police information. But I cannot completely lie about it, either.

 _I have to suspect anyone who could have access to classified information. That includes the officers' families and loved ones._

Light Yagami, Age 17. Born February 28th, 1986. Sayu Yagami, Age 14. Born June 18th, 1989. Both in the right age range for Kira, both with access to classified information regarding the investigation through their father, both get out of school with the correct schedule for Kira's crimes, both under investigation in the two days leading up to Kira's experiments. Both being investigated by Raye Penber.

Misora's fiance. He's been dead for five days now. I believe, or hope, that a week will be sufficient time to move beyond the phase of grief, and turn her thoughts towards catching Penber's killer. I will contact her in two days. If she refuses, then she refuses. But I do not believe she will.


	7. Chapter 7

_Monday. January 5, 2004._

The task force and I have been in the same hotel suite for four straight days. We have been practicing the new schedule. Of course, even when they're not here, I spend my time reviewing all the information we have available.

My attempt to contact Naomi Misora received no response. No response is a negative. I suppose it was presumptuous of me. From now on, I will be working this case with this group.

We have taken to reviewing all information about the deaths of the FBI agents. I have finally attained footage from the underground station of Raye Penber's death. It wasn't easy to narrow down; underground stations have hundreds of cameras, but after pouring through hours of footage, I was able to find a few shots of Penber before he got off, and the footage of his death.

 _Let's see the following scenes again. Raye Penber passing the ticket gate on his way in, then him boarding the train, and finally the part where he dies on the platform._

 _Matsuda: So, based on the records I have here. Raye Penber comes through the West entrance of Shinjuku station at 3:11 pm. Then at 3:13 he boards a train on the Yamanote line. But even if he was following someone at that time, I think it's gonna be difficult for us to draw any real conclusion from this blurry video. Then at exactly 4:42 pm, he exits the train at the Tokyo station and dies on the platform._

 _It's quite strange, don't you think?_

 _We know that Raye Penber got on the train, and then an hour and a half later he got off and died on the platform. But the Yamanote line only takes an hour to complete its circuit. And more importantly, there's the envelope._

 _He's holding what looks like an envelope when he passes through the ticket gate._

 _Aizawl: You're right! It's there under his arm. But in the footage right before his death, it's gone! I can't believe you actually caught that._

 _Yagami: Well, I don't see an envelope on this list of his personal effects._

 _Which means it was left on the train. And if you watch closely at the very end here, it seems like he's straining to look inside the train before the doors close. You can see right here._

 _Yagami: If that's the case, do you think it could mean something?_

 _Wouldn't it be interesting if Kira was on that train?_

 _Yagami: That's impossible_

 _I admit I find it hard to believe as well. There's no reason for Kira to come to the scene of his own crime when he can kill from a distance. Well, maybe he was counting on us to make that assumption, and figured he could get away with such a bold move._

I am more and more convinced that Raye Penber _was_ the agent Kira used to kill the others. And in that case, Penber was the one tailing the real Kira. My suspicions have been confirmed. Penber would have been the easiest to fool into giving out his real name. He was credulous and did what he was told. But why did Kira have to be there in person? If he had Penber's real name - which he must have attained, somehow, in order to control him into killing those agents - then why? Kira realized Penber was tailing him by December 19th. He waited eight days to kill him, perhaps to deflect suspicion. But how did he keep track of Penber throughout all that time, especially considering Kira is most likely a student with many obligations?

The envelope. What was in that envelope? Penber's report? Would Kira risk anything for Penber's report on him?

Still, at the moment, this is just a theory. Penber's behavior is clear enough to me, but it isn't proof, not the kind that a jury would need to convict Kira.

 _Watari: Yes? Would you please hold for a moment? Ryuzai, it's Ukita at the NPA. He says he's on the phone with someone from the tip line who has information for us._

 _Right. Then give Ukita the number for line 5, and ask him to have the informant call that lien instead. It will be safer that way. Mr. Matsuda, it's ok for you to turn on your cell phone now. Actually, please turn it on right away._

Line 5. Touta Matsuda's cell phone number. The phone immediately began to ring, and I answered.

 _Yes, this is Suzuki, head of Kira's investigation public information division._

Naomi Misora is dead.

 _Well, apparently, she's been missing since the day after her fiance died._

 _Matsuda: I'm sure that anyone in her situation would be pretty depressed. Was it -_

 _Yagami: Suicide?_

 _No. The Naomi Misora I knew was strong, not to mention, she was also an excellent FBI agent._

The best.

 _If anything, it's more likely she'd be trying to catch Kira. If she came to Japan with Penber, it's possible she may have found a lead. If that's the case, did Kira manage to get to her first?_

All my suspicions are confirmed. Raye Penber it is. This is evidence. Misora wouldn't have committed suicide. Kira must have found a way to kill besides heart attacks. Misora must have found something, something that would put Kira away for good, and since he didn't see _her_ as a threat of mine, he felt no need to announce the fact that he'd killed her. And if Kira can kill in ways besides heart attacks, there may be many, many more victims that we never considered.

That _I_ never considered.

Naomi Misora. Because of Kira, because of the case I asked her fiance to investigate, she's dead. I don't have the luxury of grief. But her death has given me something new. Conviction. I am certain that Misora caught Kira. Perhaps she even met him - she'd have had to, for him to remember her face. Persuading Penber to hand over his ID would be one thing, but persuading Misora -

What was Misora's major weakness?

 _Children._

Misora was on leave, when I hired her for the Los Angeles BB murder cases, because she failed to shoot a child criminal at a critical juncture. Misora simply couldn't envision evil in an underage criminal. So Kira has to be young - under eighteen years old. Misora would see a child, and even with all her experience and knowledge, she would not suspect that child could be Kira, until it was too late. I revise my age limit. 12-18.

And I am now certain that I can limit _my_ number of suspects to two. I only need to attain the proper evidence to support that theory. It's time to break the news to Chief Yagami.

 _Everyone, at this point I'd like to focus our investigation on only those people who Raye Penber was tailing. In particular, he was assigned to two police officers and those closest to them._

 _Yagami: Very well. Who are these two individuals he was investigating._

 _Deputy Director Kitamura, along with Detective Superintendent Yagami and their families._

The whole room went quiet. Everyone knows what this means, and nobody wants to think about the possibility. I then made my proposal for surveillance cameras and wiretaps on both households. Afraid of losing their position.

 _You told me you'd be willing to risk your lives for this investigation, but you wouldn't risk your jobs?_

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, what are the odds that Kira is in one of these households?_

 _Maybe 10% No, it's closer to 5%._

 _Matsuda: Seriously? I'm sorry, but it's not worth the risk._

 _Yagami: No. Of all the people we've investigated so far, not one of them seemed even the least bit suspicious. Even if there is only a 1% chance, we simply can't afford to ignore it. I don't have to tell you how offended I am to learn my family is under suspicion. Having said that, just go ahead with it. And make sure you install them everywhere. I don't want any blind spots in the house, and that includes the bathroom._

 _Thank you very much. That was my intention._

I'm impressed, Chief Yagami. I suppose I rather expected your help. I'm pleased to know you're on board; this gives me the opportunity to question you about your children.

 _As a courtesy to the chief and his family, only he and I will conduct surveillance on their home. Watari, how long will it take to prepare the wiretaps and cameras we need?_

 _Watari: Well, starting tomorrow, I can set them up at any time provided we know when both houses will be empty._

According to Chief Yagami, his house will likely be empty in the afternoon on Friday. His wife goes shopping for groceries, and his son and daughter are at school. Kitamura's house will be empty on Wednesday. We will begin our surveillance there, and with all the investigators on board for that household, the surveillance will be easy.

The Yagami household, however, is what truly interests me.

I am certain that Kira is either Light or Sayu Yagami. Both are the right age. Either one could have easily deceived Misora. Once I was alone again, that night, I took out the file on the Yagamis and surveyed the two photographs of the Chief's children. I tried to imagine Misora, speaking to either one of these two. What did you see, Misora? A happy, smiling little girl, a cheerful child without a care in the world, easily winning you over? Or a serious, hard-working teenage boy, handsome, well-dressed, and eminently normal?

 _Saturday. January 10, 2004._

Today, our surveillance of the Yagami household begins. I am rather excited. Over the last four days, I took the time to carefully investigate further into Light and Sayu Yagami. To begin with, I checked their school transcripts. Kira is a perfectionist who hates to lose. A single failing or even flawed grade would anger and daunt him; if he did poorly, for example, in a mathematics course one year, he would aspire to do better the next. An 80 would become a 99.

Sayu Yagami's grade reports were not promising. Her scores are average; neither remarkably terrible nor remarkably great. She did poorly in mathematics one semester, but only slightly better the next. There is no indication in her scores that she is a perfectionist.

Light Yagami has never had an imperfect score.

I was quite astonished as I looked through his transcripts. Every single semester, and every single class since this boy first entered school, he has achieved a perfect score in all subjects. Mathematics, writing, science, athletics, it seems there is _nothing_ this boy has ever failed in. He is one of the top-ranked students in Japan, and by association, as Japan consistently has some of the most difficult curriculum of any country, he is one of the top ranked students in the world.

Even if he is not Kira, he is rather remarkable.

He arrived home, at last. Chief Yagami and I held surveillance on the household. Light was the first member to arrive. He looks immediately suspicious, as if he's sensed instantly that we are watching. Watari reported to me that his doorway had a slip of paper in the crack, indicating he doesn't want anyone inside. As he returned home, Light Yagami examined the doorway, as if expecting to find footprints from the person who had entered his room.

 _Yagami: I don't believe it. I never knew he went to such great lengths. What could he be hiding in there that he doesn't want anyone else to see._

Spoken like a police officer. Not like a concerned father.

 _For a 17-year-old kid, I wouldn't say this kind of behavior is particularly abnormal. When I as his age, I did strange things too. Have you ever talked to your son about the investigation?_

 _Yagami: Of course not. I've never once released classified information to my family. Besides, I don't get to see them too often these days. Usually, as soon as I get home, all I can do is sleep._

 _I understand._

I returned my attention to the surveillance. Light immediately left the house after realizing someone had been in his room. Has he somehow guessed that he's being surveyed? How would he know? We didn't see him locate any of the cameras. Is he really that paranoid? That would be perfectly normal for a teenager.

About an hour later, Light returned, carrying a package. Inside was a pornographic magazine. He then proceeded to sit, his back to the main camera, and read it.

 _Yagami: I can't believe my son's looking at those magazines._

 _It's normal for a 17-year-old._

Normal, is it really? I wonder. He is sitting still, and shows no reaction to the magazine at all.

 _But it seems contrived. It's too obvious. The only reason he didn't want anyone in this room is because he has these magazines? That's what he wants us to think._

 _Yagami: Hey, that's my son you're talking about! Are you honestly telling me you suspect him?_

 _I do suspect him. That's why I placed wiretaps and surveillance cameras in your house and the the Deputy Director's house._

Light Yagami sits and reads a pornographic magazine the way normal people read boat catalogues. When he finished, he spoke aloud

 **Light Yagami: Man, these covers mislead you all the time.**

He has a soft voice, a very even speaking pattern. There's something very practiced about the way he talks.

 _Yagami: Oh, Light…_

Dinnertime in the Yagami household. Sayu Yagami is watching a Hideki Ryuuga film on television. Light and Sachiko Yagami are seated at the table. No better time to make our announcement. I wonder if any of the suspects will reaction. I called Aizawa to see if the Kitamuras are dining as well. Once he answered in the affirmative, I asked Watari to play it.

 _Sayu Yagami: Huh? What's this? ICPO? They're saying that in response to the Kira murders interpol has decided to dispatch a force of 1500 investigators to Japan. The investigators were drawn from law-enforcement agencies of its member nations. 1500 investigators? Wow._

 **Light Yagami: The ICPO Sure is stupid. I mean, there's no point in making this announcement. If they are gonna send all these people to investigate, shouldn't they keep it a secret? Even the FBI agents who were secretly investigating were killed by Kira. Why would this be any different? If you ask me, this is nothing more than a desperate attempt to shock Kira in the hopes that he will reveal himself somehow. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if Kira sees right through this.**

For a moment, I forget myself.

I allow my mind to jump ahead of the evidence completely. For a moment, I am convinced that Kira is speaking to me, directly. Everything fallen into place with a kind of painful clarity. Isn't this _exactly_ what I thought Kira would say? I have run so many scenarios in my mind of how Kira would react to a given scenario, what he would do, that I have often held mock conversations with him in my mind. What Light Yagami says - this is precisely what Kira would say in this scenario.

Light Yagami - 17 years old, son of the Police chief in charge of the investigation, under investigation by Raye Penber starting on December the 18th, plausible enough to gain Raye Penber and Naomi Misora's real names - Light Yagami, who has never missed a grade, who sets traps to keep his room secure, and who says exactly what Kira would say in this scenario. For a moment, I'm convinced I have just heard Kira speak for the first time.

 _Your son's clever, isn't he?_

 _Yagami: Well, Yes._

I calm myself. I don't have evidence yet. I have to keep watching.

 **Light Yagami: Thanks for dinner, mom**

 _Sayu :You're eating a bag of chips? You just had dinner. Your good looks are gonna go down the drain if you keep this up._

Kira, the perfectionist, afraid to ever make a mistake - would he take impeccable care of his appearance as well? Yes, I believe so; it would fit his self-image. Then would Kira endanger his appearance and health like this? I seem to be reaching for reasons why Light wouldn't be Kira, just to stifle that feeling of conviction. Am I trying to make this harder?

 **Light Yagami: It's a late night snack for studying**

There, a perfectly plausible explanation. He's only human, after all. A human with perfect test scores, and a flawless appearance even around the house, whom all the evidence seems to point to.

Then upstairs, to continue studying.

 **Light Yagami: All right. It's time for me to hit the books.**

Who says something like that when they're alone? A teenager needing motivation to study. _Or a serial killer, aware that he's being watched, and desperate to appear normal._

 **Light Yagami: OK. I think I'm getting the hang of this now.**

Again, a perfectly normal comment for a teenager studying for his entrance exams. I said it myself; his behavior isn't particularly unusual. There's no proof in all of this. He sits in his room, with the lights out and the TV off, studying and studying. Of course, he'd have to in order to achieve those scores.

 _After dinner, your son just goes back to studying without turning on the TV or his computer._

 _Yagami: It's because the entrance exams are 5 days away._

The entrance exams, to go to university. According to his father, he's applying to Touou. A very prestigious school. Nothing but the best for Light Yagami.

 _Watari: Ryuzaki._

 _Yes, what is it, Watari?_

 _Watari: A few minutes ago, a bank clerk being questioned on suspicion of_ _embezzlement and a purse snatcher being held in a detention center, were broadcast on the news, they both just died of sudden inexplicable heart attacks._

 _Yagami: It's him again!  
While all that was happening, at your home, your wife and daughter were watching television. When that was over they turned the TV off and didn't watch anything afterwards. From just past 7:30 until now 11 o'clock, your son has done nothing but study. Kira needs a name and a face. Without those he can't kill.  
So I suppose anyone who didn't watch the news can't be Kira. right?_

Too convenient. Far too convenient.

 _Yagami: You said it yourself. That means my family has been cleared.  
It doesn't make sense that Kira would kill two petty criminals right after their identities were broadcast. I know it's only the first day after the cameras were installed, but Yagami household seems almost too innocent to me._

Conspicuously, far too innocent. Like Kira is showing off again. This is exactly like Kira, to show off when he knows I'll be watching. Precisely what I imagined Kira would do in this scenario. If Kira became aware he was being watched, he would make a big show of how normal, innocent, and perfect he was, just out of spite.

I found myself watching Light Yagami late into the night, long after Chief Yagami had fallen asleep. Even after Light had gone to bed. If possible, he even looks dignified in sleep. Free from Chief Yagami's glance, I found myself more easily entertaining the possibility of his son's guilt. What makes me so certain, then? If I'm wrong, then I'll be wasting a considerable amount of time and resources on this guess.

But to cover the points logically. Kira must have been at least under eighteen in order to convincingly fool Naomi Misora. Light Yagami is seventeen (well, two months away from his eighteenth birthday according to the file), which is pushing it, but still plausible. Kira must be a perfectionist, someone who cannot stand to fail in any way. Light Yagami has succeeded invert academic category; according to Penber's notes, he's very popular, he has lots of friends and many female admirers. Not surprising, considering his good-looks and careful dressing. Just like Kira, to aspire to succeed so much.

Light has the police connection, he was under Raye Penber's investigation, and he fits the profile for Kira very, very well. A senior in high school who has never known academic failure? He must have been bored out of his mind. His behavior under surveillance has been incredibly suspicious. The move with the magazines - if hiding his porn stash was Light's real motive, why would he _immediately_ go out to buy a new one and read it? Wouldn't he be shaken, too cautious and alert to the possibility of an intrusion? No, that was for _our_ benefit.

But no, that's not what really got my attention. All of those things are true, but they all came to me after the fact. Many of them could apply just as easily to Sayu Yagami. No, what really caught me was what he said after the broadcast. In that moment, I was certain that Kira was speaking to me directly. And like it or not, Light Yagami's voice has come into my mind. Now I hear Kira's words with his voice.

 _L, do you know, gods of death love apples?_

Yes, I can hear you saying those words, Light Yagami. I can see you writing them down to, in that same room, perhaps into a list of phrases you might get a criminal to write. Kira's form seems to crystalize and take shape; that spectre I've felt sitting over me the whole time suddenly has a face and a voice. I have no real evidence, of course. But that comment…the criticism of my method…

 _Morning. Sunday, January 11, 2004._

 _Sachiko Yagami: Light, are you up yet?_

Yes. He's been awake for ten minutes. He takes his time getting out of bed, making his bed, tidying his things.

 **Light Yagami: Yeah, I'm awake.**

 _Sachiko Yagami: Today's garbage day, so if you've got any, bring it down with you, OK?_

Someone as fastidious as Light Yagami would probably enjoy taking out the trash. Just as Kira perceives his murders.

 **Light Yagami: What a pain!**

Something in that remark feels off to me.

 _Sachiko Yagami: What are you talking about? You usually say 'There's no need to remind me, mom.'_

Yes, that sounds more like my idea of Light. Fastidious.

 **Light Yagami: Yeah, yeah. Another beautiful day.**

I see you, Kira.


	8. Chapter 8

_Monday, January 12. 2004. Morning._

Third day of surveillance on the Yagami household. The Chief and I have conducted round the clock surveillance, while the other four take shifts watching the Kitamura household. Almost every few hours I hear one of them complain that what we're doing is wrong. Perhaps it feels that way to them. They aren't watching the real Kira.

 _Yagami: Hey, Ryuzaki. I've been thinking about the purse snatcher and the embezzler's heart attacks two days ago. It seems my family couldn't have had any knowledge of them before they died. Shouldn't that resolve any doubt you have?_

It should have. To anyone who doesn't know Kira as well as I do, this would appear to be definitive proof of the Yagami household's innocence. Am I letting my _idea_ of Kira bias me? Is that just sheer arrogance, assuming that I know him?

 _You may be right. Even though Kira can control the time of death, I don't think there's any way he could have arranged their deaths without having seen the broadcast first._

Of course, there could still be a way. I suppose I'm most suspicious because of the petty nature of these deaths. Kira's behavior is always so immediate and reactionary. He shook up his routine these last few days. Weekends, Kira has much more free time to kill criminals, and we can usually expect a high Kira death count on those days. That hasn't changed since the case began. The moment we start investigating these houses, Kira kills two petty criminals late in the day on Saturday and nobody so far today. His behavior only changes in response to actions taken against him.

The front door opens. It's him.

 _Hm, your son has come home._

He goes directly upstairs. Where were you, Light? He returns to his room, checks the door again for intruders (no one this time). Is he going to start studying again? No. Instead, he turns on the TV.

Interesting. I'd been wondering what he'd do. It would look suspicious for a normal teenager, even a very diligent student, to never watch television or use the internet. And in any case, I do not believe Light Yagami is a normal teenager. Even if he is not Kira - which, to be honest, there is probably a good chance that he isn't - he is a very unique individual.

 _Afternoon._

Kira's regular schedule seems to have resumed. 10 more heart attack victims. Once again, Chief Yagami asks me if this has definitively cleared his family. There's no way to be certain, because at the time of the deaths Light Yagami was out of the house.

 _Tuesday. January 13. 2004._

I have spent the last twenty-four hours completely absorbed in our surveillance footage.

I tackled the Kitamura footage first, in order to get it out of the way. Just as I thought, really. In response to the broadcast, Kitamura's son became excited and pleased. His girlfriend Yaiko was staying over, and they discussed how great it was, to see the government so invested in solving the case. A few minutes later they'd completely forgotten about it. Nothing else in their behavior was suspicious. They weren't watching the broadcast of the two criminals' deaths. At the time that the two criminals died, they were putting the child to sleep, both appeared annoyed that she wanted to stay up and watch cartoons.

Next, the Yagami household. Most of this isn't new. I'd seen it before. Mostly, I review the footage taken of Light, particularly during the deaths of the two criminals. He never changes his expression. There's something almost dead-eyed about him, really. The entire time under surveillance, he only smiles once - and not while reading his magazines. While responding to the broadcast.

 _Afternoon._

I held a meeting with the investigators - a report on the results of our surveillance.

 _In the past few days, I've listened to all of our audio recordings and reviewed the video footage we captured. I've gone over them many times. And I've come to a conclusion. Our surveillance of the Kitamura and Yagami households has revealed…nothing. We'll remove the cameras and wiretaps._

An unfortunate consequence; I have to find real evidence to convict Kira, and continuing the surveillance without it will appear voyeuristic. The men certainly seem pleased, particularly of course Chief Yagami. Although, he seems less pleased than I'd expected.

 _Please, don't get the wrong idea. I only said that we were unable to reveal anything suspicious based on our surveillance. Even if Kira was among them, I'm sure he wouldn't make it obvious. No. In fact, it could mean he was able to continue killing without doing anything outwardly suspicious._

 _Yagami: Well then, you believe Kira is among one of this families?_

He's able to talk about the possibility without appearing too distressed. His language remains detached, impersonal. He's trying very hard to be objective.

 _As I've said, there's a 5% chance._

I've ordered it done. The cameras and wiretaps have been removed. The investigators and I will continue to look at other leads, check the facts, monitor Kira's behavior. But when they aren't here, I will pursue my own tack.

Kira never stopped killing people even while the surveillance cameras were in place. I still have no idea how he's been able to commit these murders, but let's say he could kill someone simply by wishing death upon them. You'd think that any human being would've shown at least some emotion, some sign that they were knowingly committing an act of murder. So the obvious conclusion is that Kira couldn't be one of them.

However, what if he is one of these people we've been watching? If he is, we have to assume that his psyche has reached godlike proportions. Punishing evildoers without the slightest change of expression, it almost makes you want to believe that Kira doesn't exist and that this is just the wrath of a vengeful god.

But that idea is completely absurd, to think that god would need a person's face and name to kill them. No. These are not acts of god, but someone very childish and immature who wants to pretend they're god. That's what's going on here. A mass murderer who calls himself Kira exists somewhere. I'm sure if it and I will catch him.

But I can't count on Kira making any mistakes. It doesn't matter how long we watch him. He's not gonna expose himself to us. So what should I do? Ideally, I would get to know him well enough that he'd admit to me that he was Kira, and show me how he kills. Would that even be possible?

My top suspects are Chief Yagami's two children. I will take a gamble. Dangerous, yes, possibly fatal. But this is no time to be hesitant.

 _Friday January 16 2004._

Over the last two days, when the task force left for the night, I have worked on my plan. On Wednesday, Watari and I concocted my new secret identity. The entrance exams to Touou University are open to anyone who wishes to attend; any individual who scores sufficiently well will be allowed to enter the university. I've visited the school's website, downloaded all their information, and signed up 'Hideki Ryuuga' as an applicant. I'm a late applicant, I know; the exams are tomorrow, this Saturday. But I know I can pass them.

Hideki Ryuuga. The pop idol Sayu Yagami was flustered over, whose film was playing when we sent out the announcement. That announcement that made me so certain that her brother must be Kira. It seems a fitting alias. Taking up this identity, this name, will allow me to shadow both Sayu and Light. Sayu will hear that her brother is attending school with 'Hideki Ryuuga' and be eager to meet 'him'. This will allow me the opportunity to question her. But more importantly, attending the same school as Light gives me the opportunity to confront Kira directly.

Because at this point, Light Yagami is the only suspect with more than a 1% chance of really being Kira. And regardless of the facts, I am certain enough to take this risk. I'm not sure that he will notice me at the entrance exams. I will be watching him, but I don't intend to introduce myself just yet. Not until we've spent time eliminating other possibilities. It wouldn't make sense to take that kind of risk otherwise.

 _Saturday January 17 2004._

I've seen him up close now.

He arrived for the exams only a few minutes before the start. I wondered for a moment if he'd miss them. If he missed the exams he was studying so diligently for - but then, there he was, calm and composed. Just as always, his expression didn't falter once the entire time he sat taking the examination. All around him, his fellow classmates showed signs of anxiety, that tension that only a test which will determine your fate can bring. But from Light Yagami, nothing.

Well, not completely. When the administrator reprimanded me for the way I sit, Light turned around to look. I found myself looking at his face, in person, for the first time. He has a very intense glance, an ability to focus completely on what he's looking at. I could sense his annoyance - something, someone, not quite in place, not sitting properly. Out of place in Light Yagami's well-ordered world.

He finished his exam two minutes after I finished mine. Both of us were complete long before anyone else. The tests, to my eye, were easy. Questions in deductive reasoning, mathematics, just a variety of hoops to jump through. I should have scored perfectly in all categories. According to the guidebook, this means I will be giving the Freshman representative speech. Unless someone else scores perfectly.

Perfectly. Kira, you would aspire to a perfect test score…

I had plenty of leisure to examine Light. In particular, I tried to imagine how the everyman might perceive him - would he stand out in a crowd? How would he be described to a police detective? He has brown hair and brown eyes, the most frequent coloring of both in the world; he is neither pale nor tan, the completely average height for an adult male, 5'10" (the same height I would be, if I stood up straight), and dresses the same as every high school student, even sporting the most common hairstyle. Only two things stand out about him physically. One, that he's very lean, a little underweight, something of a swimmer's build, or a tennis player (according to his file, he used to play it). The other, that he's very handsome. But even that aspect of his appearance is very ordinary. He's handsome in the way a model or a photoshopped image appears, a kind of cookie-cutter good-looks that draw admiration for a moment, nothing more. The way a billboard ad is meant to catch the eye at first by the looks of the model, but then draw the attention to the product being sold instead. Yes, Light Yagami could easily blend into a crowd, and have his face and voice fall into the recesses of someone's memory.

The memory, that is, of someone who wasn't following his every move.

Something again draws me to the billboard comparison. That thought had occurred to me before, when I examined his photograph, but I'd assumed it was merely the effect of the picture. But here, in person, I believe Light gives off the impression of a static model not just because he looks like one, but because there is so little expression in his face or eyes. He appears blank, not stupid, but as if he truly feels nothing. I have only seen him change expression once before, a small smile when I made my announcement. In that moment, that still face came alive. Perhaps that is why it left such an impression on my memory.

The examination finished, I returned to the task force headquarters. Out of curiosity, I checked the test results.

Light Yagami and Hideki Ryuuga are tied, with perfect scores each.

 _Monday April 5 2004._

Four solid months. Nearly four months' worth of research, examination of evidence, and going over the investigation. Kira has continued to kill, according to his old routine, the entire time. The death toll is growing higher and higher. International demands are getting impatient. This is rapidly becoming the longest-running case I've ever worked on.

I have tried to put my ideas about Light Yagami out of my head, to at least wait until the beginning of school to even consider the possibility. For these few months, we've focused on other suspects. Everyone with access to classified police information. Everyone being investigated by the FBI from the 15th to the 19th. We've followed up on each new Kira victim (no easy task, considering the numbers, but these men are hard workers.) And each time, it becomes clearer to me that my guess was correct.

That feeling, that night in January, as we surveyed the Yagami household, was not misleading me. So I will make my move. It's time to meet Kira, close-up, and speak to him.

 _Afternoon._

Freshmen orientation. I've never been to college before, never attended formal school. Even with my mind full of the Kira case, I took a moment to take in the atmosphere. Thousands of teenagers and 20-somethings, all of them among the best and brightest in the country, watching as Light Yagami and I stood up on a platform, elevated above them, and read the Freshman address.

Through all of this, my focus was all on him.

It's only been a few months, but he looks older than he did in January. Perhaps it's the college environment, or the new suit. Up-close, he has the same dead-eyed look I'd noticed during the entrance exams. He maintains strict posture and etiquette. He appears calm and composed; even his eyes give away nothing. You'd think a newly minted college student, standing before the crowd to give the freshmen orientation, would show a little emotion. But once again, I got nothing from his expression.

Time to speak to him, then.

 _Light. Light Yagami? Your father is Chief Soichiro Yagami of the NPA. Your respect for your father is matched only by your strong sense of justice._

As I spoke, we were taken to a screening room with the other Freshman, to view a long presentation about the history of Touou. A perfect environment, really; all the students talked amongst themselves, and as Light placed himself in front, no one would be able to see our faces. I was able to slip out of the horribly uncomfortable shoes I'd been forced to wear and sit normally.

 _You're planning to join the police agency when you graduate. And you've already got experience, seeing as you've helped the police solve a number of cases in the past. Now you're showing an interest in the Kira case. I'm impressed by your abilities and your sense of justice. If you promise not to tell anyone this, I have important information concerning the Kira investigation that I'd like to share with you._

Light hasn't spoken a word through all of this. He's made no move to interrupt me, to ask how I know who he is or who I am, why I'm asking him all these questions. He simply sits and listens. At first, he seemed almost to be ignoring me, but he turned to look at me once we were seated. His gaze is very direct; he blinks very little, he's probably quite observant. I waited for his response, and I watched his face. He seemed to be analyzing me. Calculating. Although he still hadn't changed his expression, I recall he wore a similar look during the exam, around the mathematics portion. Like he's calculating the angles.

 **Light Yagami: I won't tell anyone. What is it?**

Of course not. You couldn't resist something like this, even if you weren't Kira.

 _I want to tell you I'm L._

I made up my mind to confront Kira this way months ago. Right after deciding to remove the wiretaps and cameras. Watching Kira has done no good. Months of investigation have brought up nothing. It's time that I step up and take a risk with my top suspects. If I do die, well, then the police can safely assume that the suspect I confronted was Kira; I've left instructions telling Watari who I'm confronting on what date and time. If I die tonight, the police can assume Light is Kira and arrest him. If not, then I have the opportunity to get closer to my suspect, to study his reactions, to keep him jumping.

Light Yagami seemed startled for a moment. I noticed him shaking a bit, his hands on his knees, his eye twitching. I had to be right up close to him, so close as to be uncomfortable, to spot any of it. What there was was infinitesimal. Barely noticeable in the dark. He then composed himself and looked me straight in the eye without a hint of anxiety.

 **Light Yagami: If you are who you say you are, then you have nothing but my respect and admiration.**

 _Thank you. The reason I chose to reveal my identity to you is because I think you could be some help to us on the Kira investigation._

Light Yagami. The likelihood that you are Kira is just under 5%. Even so, something tells me I'm not wrong to suspect you. But you're just too perfect. If you are Kira, I can't think of anything that would put more pressure on you than this little scenario.

Throughout the rest of the ceremony, Light kept quiet. He asked no questions. He didn't say anything, he kept completely composed. Studying him was like studying a blank sheet of paper. I felt like an artist expecting a picture to just materialize on the page. A few other students started giving me strange looks. I suppose it must look odd, staring so intently at another student. I waited for Light to respond to my examination, to show some sign. A normal person would probably ask me to cut it out, to stop staring at him, to back off. He said nothing. He did nothing.

I made sure to find him after the ceremony. He appeared just as composed as before. Suddenly, in the light of day, I couldn't help feeling a little…shy. Here at the school, I've been under scrutiny since the minute I gave that speech. I hadn't bothered to dress, to put on a disguise. Why not? I've gone undercover before, and I can look the part if necessary. Here, I was entirely myself. No disguise at all. The students in the audience were muttering about me, as I took to the stage dressed as I usually am, looking like I do. To Japan's most diligent and clean-cut, I must look like an escaped mental patient. I feel like a bug under a microscope, and I'm used to being the one holding the scope.

 _Hey, Light. Eh, nice meeting you._

 **Light Yagami: No, the pleasure was mine.**

An even tone. He could have been sincere, he could have been lying. Either way, he was completely controlled. Watari pulled up, and the students surrounding us all began anew, a flurry of gossip and murmurs. I'm glad to be going; social environments have never suited me. I've only spoken to one person today - and I only intend to speak to one person at this campus. Yet still.

 _Well, I'm sure I'll see you on campus._

 **Light Yagami: Yeah. Take care.**

I watched him, out the window, as we drove away. He didn't watch me for nearly as long, simply turned and left, perhaps headed home. I wonder if I even made an impression on him.

 _Watari: Well?_

 _He hasn't given me much to work with._

Curious, I glanced into the rear-view mirror in Watari's Limousine. I looked the same as I always do. But even so, after a full day of being surrounded by well-dressed college students, I can understand their confusion. I don't like looking at myself, or thinking about my appearance. If I had to attend a public school, I'd probably have gone crazy too.

 _Watari: You said that revealing your identity to a Kira suspect could result in your death._

 _Yes. It could._

 _Watari: I'd just like to know, if you're taking that kind of risk - was it worth it?_

A fine question. Was it worth it? This little excursion did cost me money and time. And Light gave me nothing to work with, nothing actionable. At this point, if I die now, even with my preparations, the police would have very little to go on to convict Light. But I don't think Light can kill me now. He doesn't know my real name - even I don't now my real name.

But yes, the question again. If I'm taking this kind of risk, is it worth it? I thought about that. I told Watari of course it action we take, however unorthodox, in order to find Kira's true identity, is a step in the right direction. I've been waiting for this day for months, ever since taking the entrance exams. I'm not sure _what_ I expected.

My plan, in the long-term, is to get close to Light. I will get to know him. We will become friends, close enough friends that he will admit to me who he is. He will show me how he kills. Kira has tremendous overconfidence. Ideally, I would trick him into thinking he had the upper hand, convince him that he's got me in a trap and he can feel free to gloat about his power. Then move to arrest him.

If Light isn't Kira, then what happens? Just a lot of wasted time and energy? No, I don't think so. Even if Light isn't Kira, he's a brilliant criminologist, Soichiro Yagami's son, and very, very intriguing. I want him to join this case either way. Four months with the current task force, and I've grown extremely tired. None of them has been able to pull up a lead on Kira, to think like him, to see anything. But Light Yagami, he thinks differently. If he isn't Kira, then he saw exactly how Kira would react to that broadcast, and that's the kind of thinking I need. Someone who can see through Kira, think like him, potentially catch him.

Someone like me.


	9. Chapter 9

_Tuesday. April 6th 2004._

Light's schedule today is too full for any direct confrontation. Tomorrow, he has a free period; I'll meet up with him then.

 _Wednesday. April 7th 2004._

I may have been completely wrong about Light.

I assumed he was a difficult person to get to know; that it would take a long time to get beneath the surface of that emotionless shell. I thought Light Yagami was a very emotionless person. He may in fact be the most emotional person I've ever met.

I researched his history and learned that he used to be the junior high tennis champion; that he gave it up suddenly after a long time as reigning champ. Kira would want a challenge, of course. So, I opted to challenge him to a match.

 **Light: I have to admit I was surprised, Ryuuga. I never thought you'd ask me to play tennis as a way to get to know each other.**

 _Is it a problem for you?_

 **Light: Not at all, but when you first invited me to play, did you know how good I was?**

Bragging a bit. You're used to being seen as the best of the best, aren't you? You're very comfortable with your position as champion; you want to make that fact very clear.

 _Yes. I'll be fine, though. It's been a while, but at one time I was actually the British Junior Champion._

In response to my request, Light actually smiled. He seemed eager to play, excited, receptive. I was suddenly getting more off of his expression in a minute than I had from hours of camera surveillance.

 **Light: Ryuuga, were you raised in the UK?**

 _I lived in England for five years, when I was younger. But save your breath. Nothing in that story would reveal L's true identity, I promise you._

Probing. He's very curious to know more about me. Who I really am. To kill me? Or to become better friends? _This is just a friendly game of tennis, nothing more. In and of itself, it won't determine if Light is Kira. But I know Kira hates to lose._

I played to win, the first round. Light was astonished at how quickly I moved. It's natural; people don't look at me and expect strength or speed.

 **Light: Whoa, Ryuuga. You sure don't mess around.**

 _He who strikes first wins._

Yes, if I wish to get anywhere with the Kira case, I have to move - to take action. The NPA is getting frustrated; the public is demanding answers; people are dying en masse. There's no point in sitting around and waiting. I continue to play, all the time concentrating on Light, not the game. His focus is sharp, he's angry, frustrated, absolutely determined.

Relax, Light. While it's true that Kira hates losing, it's also true that most people would rather win than lose. It's human nature.

Light strikes fast; the ball goes under before I can move, and I miss. Look at that. He's going for the win.

We've suddenly attracted a large crowd of onlookers. An umpire. A line judge. It's stopped being just me and Light. We're being scrutinized; everything we do is up for observation. I get that microscope feeling again. A few girls in the audience are giggling; Light is doing quite well, attracting their attention, but of course his focus is on the game. More accurately, on me. He's watching my every move, to stop me, to gues what I'm doing.

I can see the wheels turning, Light Yagami. I'm already in your head. Because I wanted to play tennis with you, you'll assume I'm preparing to take a step closer, laying the groundwork to get to know you better. However, I'm sure you'll tell me you need to know if you can trust me first. And of course, the only way to win your trust would be to share what I know about Kira. So it goes without saying that the firs thing you are going to want from me is some kind of confirmation from a third party that I'm really L, which means we'll have to go to task force headquarters.

Game and set. Six games to four. Won by Light Yagami.

Once the game was done, we walked away together. Away from the spotlight, away from the crowds, milling around to get a chance to talk to the top student tennis champions. It came as a relief to me; I don't like crowds, or being watched. Light seemed to guess this about me; he was quick to maneuver us away from the group, off through a walkway bordered by cherry trees in full bloom. The campus is rather lovely, when you get away from all the people. We then had a chance to talk.

 _Just as I expected. You beat me._

I'd anticipated that Light would win. I'd _hoped_ he would go for it, because it makes the idea of his being Kira all that more plausible. Kira would go for the win, undoubtedly.

 **Light Yagami: It's been a while since I've had to play that hard.**

He sounds pleased. To someone like Light, any kind of a challenge must be welcome. I remember how bored he appeared during the entrance exams. Playing me, he seemed to come alive, like a painting giving animation.

 **Light: I'm feeling kind of thirsty. Plus, there's something I wanted to ask you about. You wanna go somewhere for a drink?**

You're in a hurry to probe me. You're just _dying_ to ask me all your questions. Best to answer the obvious one straight away.

 _You humored me with the tennis match. The least I can do is answer some of your questions. But before this conversation goes any further, there's something I must tell you._

 **Light: What's that?**

 _I suspect that you, Light Yagami, are in fact Kira. Now, if you still wanna ask me something, then please go ahead._

If you are Kira, you already know you're under suspicion. So this shouldn't come as a shock. If not -

Light stopped dead in his tracks. Hand in his pocket. He laughed, nervously. The first time I've ever heard him laugh at all.

 **Light: You think I'm Kira?**

Have I hurt his feelings? It's reassuring to know that he has them. Best to reassure him a little, or rather a lot. Light will need flattery in order to be managed properly. I can't make it too easy for him, and I would never fawn over someone unduly. But he needs a little positive reinforcement.

 _Well, when I say I suspect you, it's only a 1% possibility. That aside, I don't mind telling you that once I'm sure you aren't Kira and I can verify that your deductive skills are as strong as I think they are, I'd like nothing more than to have you work with me on this investigation._

He was very quiet after I told him that. He took me to a cafe, not far from the campus, a quiet little place with very isolated booths. They serve coffee and a very fine array of deserts. If I'm ever in Kanto again, I'd like to return here some time. Light has good taste.

 **Light: This coffee shop is one of my favorites in the area, and if we sit here, there's no chance of anyone overhearing us.**

 _Thanks for showing me this place. I can see why you like it._

Isolated, close enough to campus for a quick stroll, the kind of place a solitary student like Light can disappear to for hours. Yes, I see why you like it. I usually put as much cream and sugar into my coffee as possible. Light takes his black, and holds his cup very daintily.

 **Light: Not to mention, we're so out of the way here, no one's gonna give you a hard time about the way you sit.**

 _I don't sit like this because I want to, I have to sit like this. You see, If I were to sit normally, my deductive skills would immediately be reduced by roughly 40%. So what was it you wanted to ask me?_

Of course. The way I sit isn't _proper._ It doesn't fit Light's ideas of right and wrong, so naturally he has to hide it away from everyone else.

 **Light: Right. I'm sure that we can wait until you're convinced that I'm not Kira. So please, let's talk about whatever you want to.**

So, you _were_ going to ask me if I suspected you. And probe, of course, to find out my real name. Now that you know the answer to the former, you're hoping just speaking to me normally will reveal what you want to know. I've prepared a great deal for us to discuss, and none of it involves letting slip personal details.

 _You're under no obligation to do this, but would you mind submitting yourself to a test of your deductive reasoning skills?_

 **Light: Sure. Why not? Sounds like fun.**

Once again, a bit closed off. He's been very pleasant, enjoying himself so far. This is easily the happiest I've ever seen him.

 _All right. Then, we can begin by taking a look at these. Photographs of three notes written by prison inmates while under Kira's control just prior to their deaths. None of this information has been made public. You can take as long as you want to look them over. Please let me know what you think._

The ones Kira sent me containing that phrase. _L, do you know, Gods of death love apples._ I wanted to hear Light say it aloud. I keep hearing Kira's words in his voice. It was time I listened to what they really sound like. He looked over them for a moment, keeping his poker face, his stern concentration. Once again revealing very little. Still, I got the impression that he was a little bit disappointed in the test. As though he'd expected something more challenging, a better puzzle from the Great Detective.

 **Light: It would be quite amazing to learn that not only could Kira kill others, but could also control the victims' actions.**

So, you've jumped ahead. You've solved it and you're speaking backwards.

 **Light: I think Kira wrote these and it seems he's encoded a message for you as well, almost as if he's mocking you. If you align these notes up side by side and take a look at the first letter of every line, it reveals a message. Rearranging it like this gives you 'L, do you know, Gods of death love apples.' But there are obvious print numbers on the back of all these photographs. Arrange it in that order, we get 'L, do you know, love apples Gods of death.' That doesn't sound right, and based on that, it's hard to believe Kira would have wanted you to read it this way.**

That sounds _exactly_ like what Kira would say. Annoyed at me for arranging his message wrong. So Kira was mocking me with those words. I'd always assumed so, but it's good to hear it from his mouth. Hearing Light say the words - he says them in a very mundane, controlled manner, as if they're some matter-of-fact phrase, nothing all that surprising. Hurried. Which would make perfect sense, if he'd originally written the phrase himself, and is just hurrying over it to get to his next brilliant deduction. However, I've got a little surprise for him. He's not the only one who can mock.

 _That's incorrect. The thing is, there were actually four photographs. When we add this one, it reads 'L, do you know, Gods of death who love apples have red hands.'_

Light looks stunned, and annoyed. You don't like me messing with your message, do you, Kira? Adding another phrase, a clumsy tacked on addition, that annoys you. And being 'outsmarted' by this faked clue, that must annoy you even more.

 **Light: But seeing as I only had three photographs to work with, my deduction was perfect!**

Someone who's not used to failure will put up quite a fight if they're told they haven't succeeded. This tells me more about your thinking process. If you're not Kira, unaware of the original message, then you don't generally think outside the box. You make your mind up very quickly and assume you know the game. That kind of thinking makes it easy to pass standardized tests and do well in class, because it gives you a strong assurance that you will be correct. You learn the game, the big picture, very quickly, and you don't consider alternative outcomes. You use what you're given, and do not weigh all the potential consequences.

 _No. It wasn't. The truth is, there were four of them. If you'd figured that out, it would have been perfect. Even though you knew the message was incomplete, you decided there were only three notes. You never even considered that there might be a fourth. What do you make of that?_

He appeared very annoyed, even angry. Then composed himself. Holding in that well of anger. This is when I began to think that Light being emotionless was completely wrong. In truth, he is probably very emotionally volatile, with a wonderful capacity for feeling, but holds it all in just to remain functional.

 **Light: Well, you got me there. I didn't think of that. In any case, the likelihood this message will lead you to Kira is not very great. Besides, we all know Gods of Death don't exist.**

He reminds me of me. I look forward to working with you on this case, Light.

 _If you're me, faced with someone who might be Kira, how would you go about establishing this person's innocence or guilt, if you need to be absolutely sure?_

 **Light: I would probably try to get him to say something that was never made public in any way, something that only Kira could know. Kind of like what you were doing just now.**

 _Truly amazing. What's incredible is that I've asked countless detectives that same question and it took most of them minutes to even come up with an answer. But you…you immediately thought of a scenario in which Kira is speaking directly to the investigator. I'm impressed. You'll make a fine detective, Light._

I have asked my fellow task force members several times what they would do to trip up a suspect. Matsuda and Ukita both hesitated, searching around for the answer that would be most impressive to me. Both wanted to come across as terribly smart; Matsuda suggested a trap of some kind, Ukita a false confession of my own, to pretend to _be_ Kira. Aizawa got offended at the thought of interrogating someone without being 100% sure. Mogi thought for a solid thirty seconds before saying he'd use fake evidence. Light's father suggested telling the suspect the police were coming for him in a few minutes, and to give it all up in order to get a better deal.

All fine ideas, but ideas that don't really take into account Kira's personality. Kira would never strike a deal; he believes what he's doing is righteous. He would spot fake evidence (Light just did) and guess he was being tricked. He'd claim to someone _pretending_ to be Kira to be a righteous force opposing Kira, and dare them to finish him off, like Kira did Lind L Tailor. Light's suggestion would work; if he was investigating Kira, he might actually be able to stop him. I am quite impressed.

 **Light: But it's a bit of a double edged sword. The more impressive my answer is, the more of a suspect I become.**

Light sips his coffee, very elegant, very dignified. Always swallows completely before speaking.

 _Yes, It's about 3% now. However, it's made me that much more determined to work with you on this investigation. You see, I'm in a position where, even if you are Kira, it would still be to my benefit to have you working alongside us. Do you know why I'd say that?_

 **Light: If I cooperate with you, there's a chance I can help the investigation to move forward, and if I'm Kira, I might reveal myself. In other words, whether I'm Kira or not, you stand to gain either way.**

Precisely. It's almost eerie, how thoroughly he seems able to gauge my thought process.

 **Light: It's a very smart move on your part, but I think you might be getting the wrong idea. It's true that I do have an interest in the Kira case, and yes, detective work is a hobby of mine. But I know that I'm not Kira, and I certainly don't want to be killed by him. Besides, what proof have you been able to give me that you yourself aren't Kira? I mean, it hardly seems fair for just one of us to be investigated, wouldn't you say? At this point, neither of us can prove that we're not Kira. However, if you are in fact I, I don't imagine it would be that hard for you to prove it to me. I think I'd be convinced if, say, my father or someone else from task force headquarters was able to confirm your identity. If you can't do that, I'm afraid I just won't be able to help you.**

You sure talk a lot, don't you, Light? Typical for someone who hates losing. Make that 7%. Could it really be him?

 _I don't remember saying you couldn't meet anyone from the task force headquarters to verify my identity. I'm currently working alongside your father, as well as several other senior detectives from the NPA. Now, if I understand you correctly and I take you to task force headquarters, you'll help us with the investigation. Am I safe in making this assumption?_

Light hesitated; for the first time, it seemed that I'd managed to surprise him. Had he expected me to refuse? Perhaps. He still wanted to know if I'm really L. He'd been skeptical from the beginning. That test, which he (apparently) failed, really annoyed him.

Before he could respond, my cell phone went off.

 _Excuse me._

Then his.

 **Light: There goes mine.**

We answered, in unison. Light holds his phone just as he holds a cup of coffee, one finger out. I hold mine from the top, so as to leave as little trace as possible. I do the same with papers, books, everything I have to touch.

 _Yes?_

 _Watari; Ryuzaki, I have some bad news. Chief Yagami has collapsed, he's in the hospital. They're saying it was a - heart attack._

Light's father. Chief Yagami. And I had to tell him.

 _Light, it's your -_

His face tells me. He's already heard.

 **Light: My father - he had a heart attack!**

 _Evening._

Watari drove us to the hospital. Me and Light Yagami, my top suspect, sitting in the back of the limousine. Watari said nothing to him, we spoke very little. I gave him space. Suddenly, in that atmosphere of worry and fear, we weren't L the detective and the prime Kira suspect anymore. We were just Soichiro Yagami's friend and son, hoping he would be all right.

We arrived, and heard good news. Light and I sat at his father's right side, Sachiko on the other. Sayu was not present. _I still haven't definitively cleared her as a Kira suspect._ Light and Soichiro told her I was just a good friend of Light's. She was too concerned about her husband to really care. Finally, she left us alone at his side.

 _Sachiko Yagami: OK, see you tomorrow. Have them call home if you need me to bring anything. Light, you take care of him, OK?_

 **Light: Sure. So the doctors think stress was the only cause?**

So strange to see Soichiro Yagami lying there, helpless, in pain.

 _Yagami: Yeah. To be honest, I thought it was Kira when I first collapsed, but I'll be all right. It seems I've been pushing myself a bit too hard lately._

 _Indeed. It must have added to your stress, knowing that Light is a suspect in this investigation._

This announcement catches Light's attention. Even he wasn't expecting that.

 **Light: You told my father that?**

No need to be so surprised.

 _Yes. In fact, I've told him everything. It's true he even knows that I am L._

It's time for Light to hear it from his own father's mouth. It's a bit disgusting to think so, but this is actually rather opportune. Light can learn for certain that I am L, and I don't have to show him our headquarters just yet. I'll keep risking my life, and mine alone, a little longer. I'll have more time to investigate Light.

 _Yagami: That's correct. This man is L. To protect his identity, we on the task force refer to him as Ryuzaki. But make no mistake. It's him._

Light stared at me for a while - another intense gaze. He had nothing to say in response; I could see the wheels in his head turning again, calculating. If he's Kira, was he calculating whether or not he should kill me? Or when? If he's not, is he calculating how best to get into my good graces, so as to join the task force?

 _Yagami: So, Ryuzai, now that you had a chance to talk to my son, is he cleared as a suspect?_

I would like to give Chief Yagami that comfort. He's in a great deal of pain; he just had a heart attack, a surgery, he'll need time to recover. But I can't just lie to him, either. Certainly not in front of Light. Best to put a few of my cards on the table. I've told Light that I suspect him, now I'll have to explain why.

 _When I say I suspect him, you should know it's very minor. We've gone over this, but I'll explain it again. Not long ago, Kira killed 12 FBI agents who'd come to Japan to assist us. They were instructed to follow people connected to the Japanese police. One of these agents, Raye Penber, exhibited unusual behavior before he died._

And then his fiancee, strong, brilliant, determined Naomi Misora, apparently commits suicide. We put cameras in the houses of the people Penber was investigating, and only one suspect displayed any unusual behavior. Only one suspect truly fits the profile I've designed for Kira. Only one person.

 **Light: I understand. And I was one of the people Raye Penber was investigating before he died. It only makes sense I'd be a suspect. No, to be more precise, there's no one else you could suspect.**

He sounds like me. He made the same conclusion I did, with less information. He's brilliant, that's undeniable. I don't have to lie about that to Chief Yagami.

 _I find Light's deductive powers quite impressive. He's always quick and to the point._

 **Light: Ryuga, I'd like to help with the investigation. My father has erased any doubts I might've had regarding your true identity. Also, I'd like nothing more than to catch Kira, so I can prove once and for all that I'm not him.**

His enthusiasm was potent. He seemed quite sincere, thought of course everything about Light is cast in a sphere of doubt. If he is Kira, then of course joining the task force is to his advantage. Before I could say anything, Chief Yagami spoke up.

 _No, Light. This is the time in your life when you should be studying to become a police officer. It won't be too late to join us once you're done._

I certainly hope we'll be able to catch Kira before _then._

 **Light: C'mon, dad, what are you talking about? Who knows how many years that'll take? Besides, don't you remember my promise - that if something ever happened to you, I would find Kira and make sure he gets executed?**

This doesn't seem like an act to me. Or if it is, it's too cheesy. My promise to you - Yagami mentioned he'd told his family about the case, though nothing probative. Had Light made this promise then?

 _Yagami: Light, listen to me. Kira is pure evil. We can all agree on that. But recently, I've started thinking about this whole situation in a different way. What is truly evil is the power to kill people. And any person who has come to possess this kind of power is cursed. No matter how you use it, no true happiness can be obtained like that, not by killing other people._

It almost sounds as if the Chief is talking to his son - like he's speaking to him, as if he really were Kira. At any rate, Yagami sounds almost sorry for Kira.

 _I think you're absolutely right. If Kira is just a normal person who somehow obtained this awful power, I would say that he is cursed._

Pity Kira. That's what Yagami is asking. I don't think I can, not after all he's done. Could Yagami still pity him, if Kira turns out to be his own son - his own son, deceiving him for so long?

 _Ryuzaki, I'm sorry for all this trouble, but I'll be back at work as soon as the doctor's let me out of here._

He's a good man. Yes, I believe he still could.

Light and I left together. He was rather quiet, once again, as we walked - calculating, perhaps? Once we were outside, he spoke up. That passionate, emotional tone again - no holding back, no restraint, now that we were alone together on the steps, awaiting as Watari's limousine pulled up.

 **Light: Ryuga, what would it take to get you to believe that I'm not Kira? Please, isn't there something?**

He looked so desperate, so eager. His father had already asked him not to pursue the case. It almost sounded like - like he just wanted _me_ to believe in him. We've known each other only a few days - well, he's known me only a few days. So that concept seems absurd, and yet…

 _If you aren't Kira, it won't be necessary. Let things run their course, and the truth will be revealed._

 **Light: I can't take this anymore. Put yourself in my position. How do you think it feels to be accused of being Kira?**

I found myself looking up at the moon. Moon, like Light's name, how it's truly spelled. To be accused of being Kira. I have been accused of being Kira. Earlier today, Light accused me of just that. Officers, suspects, people online. There have been rumors to just that extent. "L, the 'great detective', has gone crazy, started killing criminals because he's impatient with justice! He's really Kira! Why aren't they questioning him?" I suppose I can think like Kira. I may fit the profile, even _my own_ profile. I think like Kira. I think like Light. If Light thinks like me, and I were trying to put myself in his shoes. To be accused of being Kira. How would it feel?

 _It was one of the worst feelings ever._

 **Light: What if you were to lock me up for a month in a place with no TV or any other kind of access to the outside world and keep a constant watch over me?**

Would any normal person be willing to go to such extreme measures to clear their name?

 _That's no good. I can't do anything that would deprive you of basic human rights. And furthermore, it's complete nonsense for the investigator to take suggestions from his suspect._

 **Light: I understand.**

Light appeared a little disappointed, but resigned. So desperate to prove himself innocent. What would he have done if I said yes to that absurd suggestion? The thought had crossed my mind, of course; to prove or disprove the innocence of a suspect, simply prevent them from acting as Kira and see if the killing stops? Illegal, of course, a violation of their rights, but tempting. But what normal person would _ask_ to be given such an extreme test? The real Kira might do so in order to arrange for circumstances that would prove his innocence. But if Light isn't Kira, then…He really wants to prove himself.

 _Don't worry so much. Be patient. It'll become apparent to us if you're not Kira. And listening to that conversation between you and your father, I was almost convinced you might not be him. Light, please take good care of Mr. Yagami._

As I said this, I got into the limousine, prepared to leave. Light leaned in to bid me farewell.

 **Light: Ah, one more thing. I know I agreed to help with the investigation, but I don't think I'll be able to do much until my father is healthy again.**

 _Yes, of course. Well then._

I left him, again, standing watching me go. The day had certainly been eventful. In only a few hours, it seems I've peered behind the first few layers of the mask that Light wears to the whole world.

Light Yagami. Are you not Kira? He's given me potential clues, right and left. He fits the profile very well. Yet his concern for his father seemed genuine. He answered just as Kira would. Yet he was willing to risk being locked up, just to prove a point to me. There's really no proof, of course. But then again, as he said, it's to my advantage to work with him either way.

Whether he's Kira or not, he's a brilliant person, who thinks like I do, who can see patterns and guess Kira's mindset. He's completely different from the other members of the team. He'll change things. I'll find a way to persuade his father to allow him to join. And Light is just straining at the bit to get going. And if he isn't Kira, then - then he'll become a fine police officer one day. A man on the ground, like Naomi Misora. An ally?

No, even that doesn't quite describe him. I find myself…wondering. Light understands me a little too well, so quickly. It seems almost as if we've known each other a long time, even though we only just met. I would normally find such understanding very intrusive, like being surveyed by a crowd of teenagers, under the microscope. But Light didn't have to survey me. He just seemed to know. It was uncanny. And almost…pleasant.

It's been so long since I played tennis, since I walked through an open space and sat down in a restaurant to eat. So long since I had the chance to speak to an intellectual equal. Yes. It seems I've met my match, in tennis, in mind games, in everything. I should be annoyed; I don't like to be bested. I should be thinking about the Kira case alone.

Instead…it's wrong of me, I know. But I'm enjoying myself.

 _With you, Light Yagami._


	10. Chapter 10

_Sunday April 18 2004._

Evening.

It's been over a week since Chief Yagami's heart attack, and the task force is really beginning to feel the loss. Without him, it's hard to keep any order around here.

 _Ukita: Regarding Naomi Misora's disappearance, should't we open an investigation into this matter?_

 _If we do, it should be coordinated separately from the Kira case. Also, we'll have to use police sketches instead of actual photos._

 _Aizawa: We're talking about someone who's been missing for four months already. Chances are she's probably dead._

 _If you're right about that, I find it odd that we haven't found her body yet. If we did, it might provide us with some much needed physical evidence._

Misora. What did you see? What did you learn? And how did Kira kill you?

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, something seems to be happening on Sakura TV._

We changed the channel. Sakura TV. That despicable sensationalist news station that will do anything for ratings. Normally, I couldn't care less what they put out. But today.

 _Sakura TV: IN other words, all of our reporters and staff here are Kira's hostages. Aside from that, we have a professional obligation to share this message with you. I assure you that this is not a hoax, and that Sakura TV is not airing this tape for the purpose of sensationalism. Four days ago, our program director here at Sakura TV received four tapes. After a thorough examination, there can be no doubt they were from Kira himself. The first tape we received contained a prediction regarding the time of deaths of two suspected criminals who'd recently been arrested. And as predicted, at the exact same time that Kira had specified, both men died suddenly of heart attacks yesterday._

If what they're saying is true, it's clearly something that only Kira could do.

 _Kira has instructed us to air the second tape today at exactly 5.59 pm, and we do intend to comply with his demands. The tape should offer proof of his powers by predicting yet another death. Beyond that, we understand that it contains a message to the people of the world from Kira._

The officers around me begin to speculate wildly. I find all this very off-putting. If this is Kira, it doesn't sound like him at all. He tends to react to actual threats to his wellbeing. If he's doing something like this - it would only be in response to some kind of action on our end. But we've done so little lately…nothing active, really. This move is completely unprovoked.

 _And now, the video._

The screen was taken up by the name, in all capitals. KIRA. In the same type of font I use for my name, to communicate to the people of the world. The same font I used in the broadcast to provoke Kira, with Lind L Tailor, all those months ago.

 _Tapes: I am Kira._

A distorted voice - just like I'd used, only deepened, rather than heightened.

 _Tapes: If this video is being aired on April 18th, at exactly 5:59 PM as I requested, then the time is now 5:59. 47, 48, 49 - please change the channel to Taiyo TV. The news anchor Mr. Kazuhiro Hibima will die of a heart attack at exactly 6 o'clock._

 _Change it!_

A flick of a switch, and the news anchor is indeed lying, slumped in his chair.

News Anchor Kazuhiro Hibima. No history of criminal activity. A normal, upstanding citizen. Kira, what are you _doing?_

 _Change the channel back. And I need you to bring us another TV, Watari. No, make it two._

Back to the Kira video. That strange, distorted thing. Like some kind of nightmare.

 _Tape: This is punishment. I will present you with another victim. My next target is NHN TV Commentator Mr. Seiji Komaizumi, who's scheduled to appear in a live broadcast. He too has dared to defy Kira._

Seiji Komaizumi. Once again, no history of criminal behavior. You're breaking all your rules, Kira.

 _Change it to channel 24._

Once again, slumped, dead of a heart attack. No doubt, this is Kira's power. Something only he could do. As I watch, and listen, I try to picture my top suspect doing any of this. Could I hear these words in Light Yagami's voice? Could I picture him - contained, patient, perfectionist - pulling a stunt like this?

 _Please change it back._

 _Tape: Now that you've seen proof of my powers, you should have no trouble believing that I am Kira._

Kira said that he was going to send a message to the people of the world. _Stop this broadcast. We can't let him finish._

Matsuda and Aizawa sprung into action, dialing the phones, calling out. Unfortunately, nobody was answering. No one at the station had their phones on. Ukita, frustrated, left us behind, running off to stop the broadcast himself. Leaving me to watch, waiting, as the others continued to do their best to stop this travesty.

 _Tapes: People of the world, please listen to me. The last thing I want to do is kill the innocent. I hate evil and love justice. I've always thought of the police as allies, not as enemies._

Damn you, Kira. If you really saw the police as friends, you wouldn't have killed those FBI agents, or Naomi Misora, or my stand-in. 'The last thing I want to do is kill the innocent?' You just killed two people with no history of criminal behavior, just to prove your point. You're disgusting.

 _Tapes: I intend to create a new world. A perfect world that is free from evil. If you agree to join me in my mission, I know we can make it happen. And as long as no one tries to catch me, I promise that the innocent will not die. Even if you do not agree with me, all I ask is that you not publicize your views in the media. If you can do that, you will be spared. All you have to do now is be patient. I'll create a better world that we can all enjoy. Say goodbye to the world as we know it. Soon we'll have a new world brought by benevolence and inhabited by kind-hearted, honest people. Try to imagine it._

Imagine Kira's world. A world of fear, a terrorized state where everyone spends their days, trembling, anxious, aware that the slightest misdeed could cost them their lives. You've always been childish, Kira, but this is pushing it to infantile levels. Deepening your voice with the distorter doesn't change a thing. Wild thoughts began pouring through my mind - what if the police do accept? What if nations start bowing to Kira, creating this world where Kira is God?

Calm down, there's no need to go that far yet. Ukita may be able to stop the broadcast - if he can get in to the station, get the tapes, and get out. In any case, nobody in their right minds would listen to Kira. Would they? Would -

 _Sakura TV: We're interrupting the program to take you live outside the Sakura TV Studio._

The footage cuts to an exterior shot, standing just outside the building. Just in front of the doors. A man is lying on his side, collapsed, probably dead.

 _Sakura TV: As you can see, someone has collapsed just outside the door. Again, we're coming to you live from the Sakura TV Building._

I recognize the suit, the hair - they aren't showing the face, thank goodness. Ukita. He isn't moving. I don't need to hear confirmation. I know it. He's dead. From a sudden heart attack.

All my preparations, all my precautions - the fake IDs, the changing hotel rooms, the tightened security, all of it. And one of our own still dies, at Kira's hands. Ukita - Ukita is gone. We're not safe. Were we ever really safe?

 _Aizawl: Ukita. Damn it! Kira did this!_

He turned. Prepared to go, to run to his friend?

 _Mr. Aizawa, where are you going?_

 _Aizawa: Where do you think? I've gotta go down there._

 _You can't. Please think about this rationally._

Don't go there. I can't. I can't.

 _Aizawa: What? You want me to just sit here and watch TV?_

 _If this truly is the work of Kira, you'll just meet the same fate if you go there._

You'll die too. I've got to convince you to stay put. What can I say - is there anything I can say?

 _Aizawa: You told us Kira couldn't kill without a name? So how did this happen?_

I don't know. For once in my life - I have no idea. Stay calm. Think about this rationally.

 _Matsuda: The aliases and fake IDs were worthless. What are we gonna do, L? Yo udon't think Kira has all our names already, do you?_

 _That's a definite possibility. However, if that's the case, you'd think it would be easier for him to kill off the entire task force before making a move. Initially, I deduced that Kira needed a name and a face to kill. But from what we've just seen, I'd say it's not entirely impossible that Kira can kill with only a face. All I know for sure is that Kira is either in that TV station or he's somewhere close by, in a place where he can watch everyone who enters the building. Perhaps he's in the -_

 _Aizawa: If Kira's in the area, then isn't that_ why _we should get down there?_

I've said the wrong thing. Aizawa, please be rational about this. Please think of your own life. The faces of Ukita's family flash through my head. Then Aizawa's wife and daughter. Mastuda's uncle. Mogi's brother. Chief Yagami's wife and daughter. An image of Light, looking at me as we stand over his father's grave, looking like he did when the chief nearly died. Asking me, 'Why didn't you save him? Why didn't you stop this?'

I need to calm down. Come back to earth. Focus on the task at hand.

 _For all we know, he could have just planted surveillance cameras in the area. If we rushed down there unprepared, all of us would be killed._

 _Aizawa: Wasn't it you who said we'd have to risk our lives to catch Kira?_

As he spoke, he stormed forward, seized my shoulder. He wanted me to face him, to look him in the eye. I couldn't. I couldn't like any of them in the eye.

 _I meant what I said, but risking my life to catch Kira and doing something that I know would cost me my life are two entirely different things._

 _Aizawa: Oh yeah?_

I'm shaking. I can feel myself slipping slightly on the chair, my arms wrapped around me knees as tightly as I can, like I'm trying to hold myself in. As though I can somehow stop myself from falling apart that way. Aizawa seems to notice; he takes his hand off my shoulder. I feel him growing slightly calmer.

 _Please control yourself. We've lost Ukita. I understand you want to go there, but if something was to happen to you as well…_

Those faces return to my mind. Tear-stained, heartbroken, knowing who to blame.

And throughout this, Kira talks on, and on.

 _Kira: I now await the response from the police. They must now decide whether or not they'll help me create a better world for all of us. Please announce your decision on the 6 o'clock news in four days. I've prepared two videos; one to be aired if the answer is 'yes' and another if the answer is 'no.'_

The answer is now. It has to be no. There must be police, around the world - people around the world - debating right now. But they just saw, they all saw what I did.

The camera cuts again to the outside of the building. What now? Not again, not another one…

A van has crashed through the front doors of Sakura TV.

 _Well, that's one way to get into the building without being seen by Kira._

 _Aizawl: But who would?_

A fine question. I'd like to think it could be anyone, really. Anyone willing to stand up and oppose this insanity, with a big enough car and the proper determination. They're thinking right.

 _Sakura announcer: We're still outside Sakura TV. As you can see, a police car has just arrived._

 _Matsuda: So we're not alone. There are still other officers out there who are willing to stand up to Kira._

Officers who don't know what we do, who don't know about Ukita…I have to act, now, if I want to protect them. If I want to get those faces out of my head.

 _Mr. Aizawa. You know Deputy Director Kitamura's cell phone number, right?_

One phone call, and Kitamura is on the line.

 _Kitamura: Aizawa. I told you not to call me on this phone._

 _This is L. There's something I need you to do for me. There may be police officers who will see this broadcast and feel moved to take action in the name of justice. If you don't take control of this situation quickly, there will be a disaster._

The two officers on TV are making their move. Pulling their guns, heading towards the car, and the hole in the station doors. I feel my heart pounding, like a ticking clock.

 _Kitamura: But technically, we're not supposed to be involved in this case._

The officers on TV suddenly clutch their chests, staggering, gasping.

 _Announcer: Two police officers have just collapsed on the sidewalk. I think we may be in danger! We're moving away from the scene._

You're probably fine. You're getting Kira's message out there to the world. He's probably very happy with you. On the other end of the line, I hear Kitamura's labored breathing. I wonder if he knew those men. Another round of faces - these unspecific, people I don't know, but just as accusing - flash before my eyes.

And a few that I do. Naomi Misora, shaking her head, her eyes revealing so little and yet telling so much. Beyond Birthday, reprimanding me in every photograph - B, killed by Kira three months ago while serving his life in prison, throwing his life away to be just like me. Countless other lives, and those affected by the loss, all watching me. Wondering, why didn't you do more? Why couldn't you save us?

 _Kitamura: I understand, L. I see your point now. Tell me what I should do._

I gave Kitamura my instructions. All I can do now is -

 _Watari: Detective Superintendent Yagami._

 _Call him back immediately and give me the phone._

Light's voice again, in my head. Not as Kira this time, more like my conscience. 'If anything ever happens to my father…'

 _Yagami: I need to speak to Ryuzaki._

Out of breath, determined, angry. He's not sitting in a hospital bed. If he wants to speak with me directly…

 _Yes, it's me. Mr. Yagami. So you're the one driving the police van._

It's a fair guess. After all, Yagami knows Kira's killing methods. He'd want to take action, after seeing what happened to Ukita. And he'd be watching, heart attack or no.

 _Yagami: That's right. I couldn't just sit and watch. I've confiscated all of the tapes. I'm bringing them to you._

You're a good man, chief. But in all of this, if you've excited yourself too much…Light's voice again. 'If it weren't for this case, my father would still be - '

 _But what about your condition? Are you all right?_

 _Yagami: I'm feeling just find. To be honest with you, I don't think I've ever felt more alive. So what do you think I should do now? I'd say going out the front way would be too dangerous. But I could always use the police van again._

Fortunately, I have a plan in place.

 _Please hold the line for a second. Deputy Director Kitamura, it was chief Yagami who just drove into the building. Are your preparations complete?_

 _Kitamura: It's done, as you requested._

 _Mr. Yagami, listen carefully. In exactly 5 minutes, I want you to come out the front entrance._

 _Yagami: You want me to exit through the front entrance?_

My instructions to the deputy director were as follows:

 _Send every available officer to the Sakura TV station. Have them wear face-protective helmets and cover their badges. Do not allow them to reveal their names or faces, from the moment they leave the station to the moment they return. Bring a car with tinted glass and a driver for the man who drove the police car through the front doors. Use whatever is necessary to create a barrier - no gaps, no spaces that Kira could see through. Once you've succeeded in evacuation, search the area. Keep the face concealing helmets in place at all times. Kira is most likely in the area. Needless to say, caution is of the utmost importance._

Chief Yagami should be safe. **Dad, remember my promise. If anything happened to you, I would hunt Kira down and make sure he was executed.** Don't do anything rash, chief.

The broadcast only shows the barrier line of officers. Good. Kira won't be able to see Chief Yagami leaving. Without his face, without his name - there's nothing he can do. I spot the tinted car driving away from the scene.

 _Sakura's announcer: There you have it! The police have refused to cooperate with Kira! Instead, they are preparing to fight. And, as much as I fear for my own life in saying so, this is right, and it must be done! Kira has become a threat to our very constitution. And as citizens, we must fight back! I am NHN's golden news anchor Kouki Tanakabara._

Well said. I feel my assurance returning. The world has not gone mad, after all. The panic slowly vanishes, and dissipates completely once Chief Yagami enters the room. It's not just the relief to see that he's alive, either. The entire task force seems to relax. We've all been waiting, really, for the Chief's return.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, I apologize for taking matters into my own hands. I have to admit I got a little bit carried away. Here. These are all of the tapes and an envelope. Everything Kira sent to the station is in here._

 _I can't thank you enough._

He's brought me a real bounty. Finally, real, tangible evidence. Kira touched this. His fingerprints won't be on it, I'm sure, but there's a chance now. I take a moment to look at Yagami. He looks tired and strained.

 _Yagami: I think I'd better rest for a minute._

Mr. Yagami. This won't go to waste. The postmark is from Osaka. But Kira can control his victims before they die, so he could have delivered it from Osaka without going there himself.

 _Mr. Aizawa, can you please take this to the crime lab right away?_

Aizawa will relish the opportunity to finally act.

 _Aizawa: I still have a couple of friends down there. I'll make sure they go over every inch of this._

 _That's good. Please do so. While you're doing that, I'm going to watch these tapes to see if they can tell us anything._

 _Monday. April 19. 2004. Morning._

I've spent the whole night going over the Kira tapes. Matsuda and Mogi had the task of telling Ukita's family what happened. Yagami took a well deserved rest. Aizawl returned from the crime lab around 5 am. They're all awaiting my verdict on the Kira tapes in the next room.

As I join them, I can see their fear.

 _Yagami: Well, what do you make of these?_

 _They were definitely interesting. If the police had said 'yes' and agreed to cooperate with Kira, tape number three was supposed to be aired. Tape 4 if the answer was no. Tape three covers the terms of cooperation. Put simply, he's requesting that broadcast the names of more criminals. He seems particularly interested in those who have assaulted others, or those who have somehow hurt or taken advantage of the weak and defenseless. Of course, Kira would play the role of judge in all of this. Furthermore, as proof that the police are willing to cooperate, he wants police officials and L to appear on TV to make a public announcement that we plan to cooperate with him. He needs us to reveal our faces. That way, he can kill us if the police do anything suspicious. In other words, he'll hold our lives as insurance._

He was very blunt about all of this. Really, all subtly has gone out the window.

 _Yagami: I see. So what about the content of the fourth video if we were to answer no?_

 _The wording's different, but he more or less says the same thing. Mr. Yagami, It should go without saying that the answer is no. Please have someone take tape number four over to Sakura TV, and authorize them to broadcast it._

The demands gave the police a window of four days. So, we'll wait until April the 22nd. The reason for the delay is simple; the longer we wait to broadcast it, the longer I have to think of a way out of Kira's new threat. I will continue to watch the tapes in the meantime, everyone of them. This has become our top evidence.

And re-watching them should give me a chance to confirm a theory I've begun to entertain, one that makes me feel ever-so slightly better about all of this.

 _Thursday, April 22, 2004. 6 PM._

Tape #4 is broadcast on the news, as requested.

 _I can only say it's a shame that your answer is no. It's clear that the police will still oppose me. This will not go unpunished. So I will start by taking the life of either the director general of the NPA, or the detective known as L, who's currently leading the investigation against me. The Director general, or L. Who will pay the price for your refusal to cooperate in the creation of the peaceful world? You have 4 days to decide._

Four days. To figure out how to get out of this situation. When I first saw that tape, I felt a bit of panic rising inside me. It goes without saying that I wouldn't reveal myself, or the director general, to Kira, if there was any way around the possibility. But I want to avoid getting anyone else killed.

 _Saturday, April 24, 2004._ 3 days left.

The task force meeting today is very tense. The past few days, we've received quite a lot of pressure; the fellow task force members have gone to meetings, listened to instructions, and argued with who knows how many idiots. Kira's threat is very, very real.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, I'm afraid it's as you thought. Several of our member countries have weighed in. And it seems they are in favor of having the real L appear on TV._

 _I think it's the most appropriate choice, given the options. Well, we still have 3 days before it happens. Maybe we can find some countermeasure. After all this, it would really annoy me if I'm killed by the first person to jump on the Kira bandwagon._

They're all quite surprised. But really, what other conclusion could there be? I've watched the tapes again and again, listened carefully, looked over what I know of Kira. And I'm not wrong. I _know_ Kira. After all these months, he's become like an annoying roommate whose habits I constantly gripe about having to put up with. And these tapes, this stunt, these actions, they are not the work of _my_ Kira. The real Kira, the original.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, what do you mean by that?_

 _There is a strong possibility that this Kira is a fake. No, we should think of him more as a second Kira._

That's the best way to describe him. Kira #2. I've encountered several copycat killers in my time; I recognize them. Like a professional art critic, spotting a forgery. The brush strokes are just not _quite_ so.

 _Yagami: A second Kira?_

 _Aizawa: I don't understand. Why do you think he's a copycat? And how did you come to that conclusion?_

 _I looked at the victims he used for his prediction on tape number one. Their purpose was to prove to Sakura TV staff that he is Kira. Both their names were only reported in tabloids and daytime talk shows, so they weren't exactly hardened criminals. The real Kira has no need to prove himself using such insignificant criminals. But from the perspective of the second Kira, he'd want to make absolutely certain that he didn't predict the death of a criminal who could be killed by the real Kira first._

So it seems we need to start anew. Kira the first - most likely Light Yagami, with some possibility for error. That I've narrowed down over a few months of careful investigation. Kira the second, we are starting from scratch again. Realistically, Kira #2 could be anyone in the world, anyone who'd heard of Kira, somehow attained the same ability, and chosen to control someone in Osaka to mail the tapes. Of course, we will start by searching in Osaka. Since the original Kira lives in Japan, the second being from the same country isn't too great a leap.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, if you had to put a number on that, what's the probability of a second Kira?_

 _This time, I'd say it's more than 70%. I really don't like the way he operates. It's not like Kira._

 _Matsuda: Not like him?_

 _In the past, he has traditionally avoided killing innocent people, with the exception of those who were trying to catch him. Anyway, if we capture one Kira, I think that will provide us with a lot of insight on who we can find the other one._

Time to take action. I've waited long enough. Two weeks, with only Aizawa, Matsuda, Ukita and Mogi on the task force. Waiting for Chief Yagami to recover, trying to think up a way to persuade him. What could I say or do to change his mind?

 _Mr. Yagami, I'd like your permission to ask your son to cooperate with us on this investigation._

 _Yagami: If you want my son to join the task force, does this mean you no longer suspect him?_

Light. Either you are Kira, in which case we can use you to catch the second. Or you're simply a brilliant investigator, in which case we can _definitely_ use you to catch Kira. Both, perhaps.

 _Well, I can't say that he's been completely cleared, but his deductive ability will be invaluable to us right now._

 _Yagami: If my son wants to cooperate with you, then I have no reason to prevent it._

 _I appreciate that. However, please don't tell him that we think this latest Kira might be a fake. I don't want him to know that yet. We want to make it appear to him that we're still chasing the same Kira._

I want to see if Light can figure this out for himself. If he is Kira, he's probably as annoyed as I am with this newcomer. His anonymity is being threatened (Light is a rather private person, for all his popularity), his rules are being violated left and right. If he isn't Kira, and is still able to come to the same conclusion as I have, then I'll have that much more reason to bring him onto the case.

I'll have to start working on Kira the second's profile. Kira #2, perhaps not much older than Kira #1? His language and behavior is even more childish. Kira #2 is pleading in the tapes, friendly, almost perky, cloyingly optimistic. His language is like something out of a poorly written novel, some idealistic fluff about perfect worlds. He's probably a teenager, eagerly looking for some cause to join, some cooler, more assertive kid to follow. He feels so prosaic to me, next to the Kira I've been fighting. The Kira who is cold, calculating, and intelligent. This Kira killed Ukita, for no reason other than his attempts to stop the broadcast.

I take a moment to wonder why I kept hearing Light's voice in my head, as I worried for Chief Yagami. I've never had that happen before. When I panic, I do often see the faces of people I've failed, those who have died because I couldn't stop them. But rarely do I see anything so vivid. It's as though Light, in only a short time, has become a part of me, taken on the form of my conscience. Like I don't want to disappoint him, somehow.

Light, I need your help.


	11. Chapter 11

_Saturday April 24 2004. 3 days left._

7:30 AM. I have a few parameters to set up with the task force, before we meet Light.

 _Well then, we need to ask Light Yagami to assist us. However, we cannot tell him that we are considering the possibility of a second Kira._

The task force was very surprised by this suggestion. I expected they would be. It seems logical, doesn't it? If Light is to work with us, shouldn't he have all the facts?

 _Well, I didn't mean indefinitely. I'm curious to see what his impression of these tapes will be prior to knowing ours. Light's deductive reasoning is really quite impressive. He may suspect that these tapes are the work of a second Kira, an imposter or a copycat imitating the original._

 _Matsuda: But the basis for the second Kira theory is that the victims of these recent killings are minor criminals who don't fit the normal profile. Without hearing our explanation, how would Light ever know that?_

To someone like Matsuda, that would seem to be the only proof. Matsuda has no mind for profiling. He doesn't understand psychology, only basic facts of a case. He probably wouldn't know Kira unless Kira stepped right up to him and proclaimed his name.

 _Yes, but there's more to it than that. The suspect that we've been pursuing up until now has needed both a name and a face to kill his victims, but there is something different happening here. Recall that Mr. Ukita was killed the moment he arrived at the station. And this Kira demanded only that I appear on TV, but made no request for my name. This implies that the second Kira only needs to see a person's face to kill them. So I'll ask Light to look over all of our information, as well as our video evidence. If he comes to the conclusion that there could be a second suspect, then he'll be almost completely cleared of suspicion in this case._

Almost, but not quite. I have another reason for wanting to give Light this test, besides clearing him from being Kira. If Light does come to the same conclusion as I have, it will help to convince the task force that the second Kira theory is correct. Perhaps I even want to convince myself. As is, I'm only basing this on my personal knowledge of Kira; there is always the possibility that Kira's power has simply evolved, that somehow he has moved beyond the need for a name and feels thus emboldened to take these extreme measures. To have Light come to the same conclusion - Light who hasn't been studying Kira like I have these past few months…

 _Yagami: But how will that prove anything?_

 _Logically, if he is really Kira, he'll want me dead seeing as I'm the one leading the investigation against him right now. And the way things are going, if I comply with this new suspect's demand that I appear on TV in three days, there's a very good chance I will die. I can't see the real Kira jeopardizing such an easy opportunity to get rid of me._

The only reason the real Kira would have to delay is if his pride demands he be the one to kill me. I don't think Kira sees our rivalry so personally. Of course, if he is Light, since we've already met, and I've challenged him so blatantly…if Light is Kira, would he choose to spare me? My life could depend on that.

 _Yagami: OK, but are you suggesting that if my son does not come to the same conclusion, there's an even greater chance that he is guilty?_

Logical as ever, chief. He wants very badly to hear some tangible, definitive proof. A certain acquittal or conviction. I can't give him a lie.

 _No. In that case, there will still only be a 5% chance. We will inform him that we are investigating the possibility of a copycat, and have him cooperate with us as planned._

So, this evening, Light Yagami will join the task force. I have prepared an alert belt for him, like the other officers. In the event that he is Kira, of course, this is an extremely risky move - giving him the inside look at the team working to catch him. But this also means that I will be better able to monitor Kira's behavior and his movements. The belt will let me keep track of Light (not that that will reveal much.)

Chief Yagami gave him the call. Tomorrow, Watari and I will move the operation to a new hotel, as we've been doing. Different hotels, every few days. We're starting to run out of hotels.

 _Evening._

Light arrived, precisely on time at the hour specified. He seemed calm, as always; we shook hands, as if we were old friends. Strange, really. We've only met twice.

 _Thank you, Light._

 **Light: Not at all. After all, I want to catch Kira as much as you do, Ryuga.**

 _I'll have to ask that you call me Ryuzaki here._

He looked quite surprised. I wonder if he's heard that name. Kira did kill Beyond Birthday, the original to go by the name Ryuzai, only three months ago. I wonder.

The others introduced themselves. I was pleased to see that Matsuda and Aizawa used their aliases; even with Chief Yagami's son, they were cautious. It's a good sign that they won't get careless about them. Chief Yagami even introduced himself as Asahi, perhaps to let his son know that the names are aliases?

 **Light: Yes, of course. Then perhaps I should call myself Light Asahi?**

Asahi, a Japanese name meaning Rising Sun. Light Rising Sun.

 _Yes, please do. To keep things simple from this point on, I'll call you Light. OK. Let's get down to work. You can start by looking over all the information we've collected. I'd also like you to examine these videos. They were sent to the TV station, but were never aired. For security reasons, you are not permitted to take notes and all materials must remain here._

 **Light: I understand.**

 _We will begin now._

I sat him down with all the videos, starting with Tape #1. There was a noticeable feeling of tension in the room, from the members of the task force. I could feel all eyes on Light, and baited breath waiting for his conclusion. Would he come to the same conclusion as me? Would he soon be cleared, or just that much more suspicious? Perhaps even a fearful undercurrent…were we now sitting in Kira's presence? I wondered if Light could feel that tension. Would it tip him off that the tapes were just a test? And if Light is Kira, if he guessed he was being tested…would he do the practical thing, from Kira's perspective, and let the second Kira take care of me - or keep up appearances?

We watched through the broadcasted tapes. Light remained hard to read - that same inscrutable expression he wears when he's trying to avoid giving off any signals. But I still picked up on something - an irritation, perhaps? He didn't seem to like what he was seeing. Disgust, maybe? Perhaps I was projecting my own feelings onto him. These tapes had always filled me with disgust and anger; the cruelty and childishness in them. Really, what other emotion could there be but disgust?

 _So, what do you make of this, Light? Have you come to any conclusions?_

I leaned in, scrutinizing. Trying to get as much of his response as possible. His hand clenched up on the armrest. I saw him seemingly come to a realization. A realization about the tapes, or a realization about me? Does he know he's being tested?

 **Light: It's hard to say for sure, but there might be another person out there with Kira's power.**

You're doing it, Light. You're really doing it.

 _Yagami: With Kira's power? W-what do you mean by that, Light?_

He sounded so desperately relieved. I was almost relieved myself.

 **Light: At the very least, I'd say this tape was not created by the Kira we're familiar with. It's extremely out of character for him to use these kinds of victims for his killings. And since we've established that he needs a name and a face to kill, it makes you wonder how he was able to kill that detective and those two officers right outside the station like that.**

 _Aizawa: It's the same._

 _Matsuda: That's almost exactly how L - I mean, Ryuzaki said it._

It's a rare feeling, to hear your own thoughts voiced aloud by someone else. I've rarely had that experience before. Usually, I have to explain my thoughts to people carefully. Even the sharpest have trouble seeing things the same way I do. The closest I've ever had is hearing the best and brightest at Wammy's follow my logic, quite closely. And they have been trained since a young age to follow in my footsteps.

 _I think you're exactly right about that. We also believe that this is the work of a second Kira._

Light appeared slightly annoyed at this declaration. He crossed his arms, looked defensive; he doesn't appreciate being manipulated.

 **Light: So you knew about this all along, Ryuuga - sorry, Ryuzaki? Which means this was just another one of your tests.**

All of a sudden, I felt an urge to defend myself, to tell Light my real reasoning. One thing I hadn't quite calculated on with Light. The task force members are all highly cooperative. But I may always have to explain myself to him.

 _It wasn't my intention to test you. The truth is, if I was the only one who thought there was a second Kira, it wouldn't be too convincing. But the fact that we both came to the same conclusion makes the theory that much more believable. As expected, you did not disappoint us. You've been a great help._

If Light is Kira, then he's just thrown away a great opportunity to kill me off. My original theory for why he would choose to do this is that Kira wants to be the one to kill me personally. Light's pride might demand that, especially since he's met me. He wants to join the task force; he may have a bigger plan, and playing along with us is part of that. If he isn't Kira, then he's the only person in the world who knows Kira as well as I do. Either way, he's a powerful ally, and it's time to put the next part of my plan into action.

 _It's decided, then. First, we must focus on stopping this copycat. From what we've seen, he sympathizes with the real Kira, but clearly lacks the sophistication. I think he might be willing to obey the original. If so, we could lure him into a trap by sending our own message from the real Kira._

 **Light: I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You literally took the words right out of my mouth.**

Now you know how I feel. I've been addressing the group, telling them the next phase, but Light has re-directed my focus back onto himself. Well, now that we're on the subject.

 _Oh, and Light, I would like you to play the part of the real Kira._

 **Light: Huh? Me as Kira?**

Of course. I've cast you as Kira many times in my head. Scenario 1: You are Kira. This way, I can forestall your action plan for dealing with the second Kira (and Kira must have some kind of plan), and get you to act in my favor, against your own. Scenario 2: You aren't Kira. This way, the only task force member with any real understanding of Kira's mindset will play him, and write down a close approximation of what he might say. Either way, this is ideal. Light looked surprised, thoughtful, as if pondering the idea for the first time. Which is ridiculous, because I've already told him I suspect him. He's overplaying that dismay.

 _Yes. You are the only one I can think of who would be able to pull something like this off. At any rate, we don't have any time to waste. Do you think you could script a message from Kira in time for it to be aired on this evening's national news?_

 **Light: I'll give it a try.**

He spent a while writing it; I got the impression he was trying harder to write the perfect Kira message than he did on his perfect admissions exam. There was a greater concentration, a real anxiety, like he's actually worried about doing well. I watched him, of course, the whole time. I haven't taken my eyes off him since he walked in the hotel door.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, does this look OK? I think I managed to make it believable.**

I examined the message. As I read, I imagined the words in Light's voice, as I've often imagined Kira's words. The impression seemed off; the words didn't sound like Light's voice, but like my own. I could hear them in _my_ voice. As though Light was picturing me when he wrote, just as I picture him. Myself, Light, and Kira. It feels like we're getting jumbled up in my head.

 _I think you've done an excellent job with this. However, if we don't omit the part that says "You are free to kill L," then I'm gonna end up dead._

That was a risky touch, Light. You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. The possibility that you are Kira had been reduced to 3% after you admitted the idea of a second Kira. Now it's back up to 7%. He laughed, a little awkwardly; his pose was theatrically apathetic, leaning back with his hands behind his head and his legs crossed, as if lounging on a summer beach deck.

 **Light: Sorry, I guess I got carried away playing the part. I figured if I was him, I'd probably demand you be killed. I was improvising. Feel free to change it to whatever you like.**

 _Sounds good._

Whether you're Kira or not, Light, I don't appreciate you playing fast and loose with my life like that. Perhaps he put that in to test me - an eye for an eye? I tested his veracity, and had he failed the rest of the task force would have regarded him with a great deal of suspicion, including his own father. So in return, he tests mine. Touche.

I edited the script as little as possible, removing only the parts that threatened my life. Then gave the task of deliverance to Aizawa. Tonight, Kira will speak to his successor. Whether Light truly is Kira or not, I imagine that, barring the threat to my life, this is precisely what Kira _would_ want to say to his successor.

 _Night._

The broadcast has gone through. I watched it with Light and the rest of the task force, keeping my eyes on Light's face the whole time. We sent the package in anonymously, so the second Kira shouldn't be able to guess it's really ours. In full, here is what we decided to say:

Light: _I am Kira. The true Kira. The one who was broadcast on Sakura TV several days ago is a pretender, a fake. The purpose of this message is to communicate my will to this imposter. I have chosen to be lenient with him for the time being, only because I believe he wishes to cooperate with me in the creation of a new world. But I want to make it absolutely clear that the taking of innocent lives is against my will. If this person claiming to be me is truly sympathetic to my cause, and wishes to be of some help, I ask two things of him; that he refrains from killing aimlessly, and that he agrees to abide by my basic principles._

This is, no doubt, what the real Kira is thinking. So what is the second Kira thinking, in response to what he's, no doubt, just seen? My idea of the second Kira is someone young and moldable, looking to find some cause with which to belong. He must be over the moon to have received a response from the real Kira, and one that invites him to join in the _grand plan_ for a better world. He's received a few reprimands - Kira hints in the video that he deeply disapproves of his successor's taking of innocent lives.

Kira the second is perhaps even more proactive than Kira the first. He'll reply quickly. I need better codenames for them. Kira 1, Kira 2, those sound like children' characters. Kira A and B? No, I believe I'll call them Kira L and Kira M.

 _Monday April 26 2004._

Light has no classes today. Yesterday, now today; three days in a row, Light has been working with the task force, and already I know I've made the right choice in bringing him in. Whether he's Kira or not, he's bright, insightful, and thinks like me.

Today, we got our reply from Kira-M. Watari picked it up at Sakura TV, rightly guessing Kira-M would try sending it there again.

 _Watari: I'll be bringing over the envelope and tape that we've received, and in the meantime I'm streaming a copy of the video so you can view it on your end._

The same style - the font Kira name, the distorted voice.

 _Kira-M: Kira, thank you for your reply. Please, do not worry. I'll follow orders and do as you say._

I took a glance at Light's response to this. Annoyed again; that same disgust he's shown for all the M-Kira tapes. Disgust at such a shameful approximation of his identity, or simply at a fool who follows?

 _Kira-M: I really want to meet you. I don't think you have the eyese, but you don't have to worry. I will never try to kill you. That's a promise._

The Eyes?

No, that's crazy. Is it possible? The Eyes.

Surely, that would explain it - I'd wondered something of the sort before, when the case first began. I'd never suggested anything of the kind to my fellow investigators, because it sounds like the stuff of paranormal conspiracy. Indeed, to anyone who hadn't witnessed it, it would be too fantastic to consider in a serious criminal investigation.

The Eyes.

The ability to see a person's face and time of death, just by looking at them.

I've only known one person who could do that. I never learned exactly how; in all his interrogations, he never explained it. But it made him a skilled investigator, a great asset to Wammy's. B. Beyond Birthday, that was his real name. The second Wammy's kid.

What is Wammy's house? I suppose I never mentioned it before, in these case notes. Simply put, Wammy's is a precaution, a worst-case scenario last resort, in case I die. An orphanage dedicated to training my successor. It was begun back when I was just a child. Watari needed a place to raise me, and soon enough, a place to raise my successor. Genius orphans from all over the world were brought to Wammy's for just that purpose. The second of these, Beyond Birthday, had this power. A power he referred to as The Eyes.

And now, three months after Beyond's death at Kira's hands, Kira-M refers to them, again. Is this how M-Kira can kill with just a face?

 _Kira-M: Please tell me how I can meet you without the police knowing. You'll think of something. And when we meet, we can confirm identities by showing our Shinigami to each other._

No. No. Please, no. Shinigami? _Shinigami?_

I felt all control slip away. In that moment, my strength collapsed, my legs fell out from under me, the chair I was sitting on toppled to the ground. It was as if the ground I stood on turned into quicksand. I was on the ground, staring at the screen, my heart pounding faster than it had in years.

 _Am I supposed to believe that? That shinigami actually exist?_

That's crazy. Gods of death killers from beyond beings that take human life to extend theirs no no that's myth things like that don't what the hell is going on?

 _Matsuda: That's impossible._

 _Aizawl: Obviously they don't exist._

then why, if that's true then there's nothing, nothing we can do, how could you possibly stop a killer that doesn't exist

In the midst of my blind swirling panic, a lifeline.

 **Light: Yes, that's right, Ryuzaki. Listen to yourself. Of course shinigami don't exist.**

Light's voice is very steadying. There's something about his assurance that calmed me down at once. My thoughts reordered themselves; I felt sensation in my limbs again. Of course. Approach the problem with order and logic, as always. Thank you, Light.

 _You're probably right, but I remember that Kira had those prisoners write something suggesting the existence of shinigami._

L, do you know, Gods of Death love apples?

 _Yagami: So, based on that fact, perhaps we're dealing with the same person after all. That would definitely explain why we're hearing the same words._

Gods of death to L-Kira, Shinigami to M-Kira. Not quite the same words. You're grasping at straws to clear Light's name. Besides, you're ignoring the most important facts, which are -

 **Light: I don't think so, because if this was the same person, it's highly unlikely he would have responded to our video in the first place. And why would he agree to let L live after going to all the trouble of getting him to appear on TV? The real Kira wants him dead. So it doesn't make any sense.**

Once again, Light takes the words out of my mouth, this time before I even have a chance to say them. I resumed my seat, returning to my place as the pieces of the puzzle fell back into place.

 _Aizawa: Then maybe there's some other connection between the real one and this new guy. They could have already met and decided to use the word shinigami as a way to confuse us._

 _No. I'd say that's unlikely. It's as Light says, if the two Kira's were connected, I don't think the imposter would be so willing to give up on his plan to kill me. All of this suggests to me that the copycat has his own agenda, and he is acting independently of the first. I believe his actual motivation is to meet the original._

He did say 'I can't wait to meet you'. He isn't exactly being subtle. I caught Light's eye as I was speaking; he stood directly across from me, watching me with a level gaze, and I got the impression he was reading my mind.

 **Light: I think you're right. He's acting out of an interest in Kira. The word shinigami could very well be some reference to their killing power. Saying 'We can confirm our identities by showing our shinigami to each other' probably means that they'll confirm their identities by somehow demonstrating their ability to kill.**

 _Yes, that's it. Based on their messages, we can assume that the word 'shinigami' must hold some other meaning that only the real Kira and the second Kira are aware of. Now, we just need to convince this copycat to tell us what that is._

 **Light: So, will you respond and force him to be more specific? We have to be careful how we handle this. We can't make it too obvious that we're asking, otherwise he'll realize we're not Kira.**

As we spoke to each other, I had an odd sensation; it was like speaking to myself. I have never heard my thinking so completely understood by someone else before, verbalized completely, without my having to explain a thing. Light's reasoning is well in-tune with mine. Which, if he is Kira, is deeply disturbing. I've always known that I can follow Kira's line of thought, because it is so close to my own. And now, here is Light, doing just that.

In response to his question, then. What to do about it? Light, of course, you want to respond as quickly as possible, to make an aggressive move. That's like you - and like Kira. But that doesn't suit my agenda.

 _No. from now on, it's best that we leave it up to the two Kiras._

 _Aizawa: Huh? What do you mean?_

Having my thought process questioned was a little jarring, after hearing Light echo me so well. Aizawa's voice brought me back to the reality of the situation.

 _I imagine that the second Kira is probably quite satisfied with the current situation, now that he's received a televised response. He sent a message to get Kira's attention, and as far as he knows he now has it. Also, there's that word he used - one that only the two of them would understand. We'll arrange to have this reply broadcast today on Sakura's 6 o'clock news. Naturally, this will be of interest to Kira. And he'll be following this exchange between the copycat and the one we invented. Now, if I were Kira himself, my priority would be to prevent this imposter from coming into contact with the police. This is good for us, because it means the real Kira may feel pressured to respond this time._

Or the real Kira has already responded, and is trying to think of his next move. Light appeared quite thoughtful in response to my words; understanding immediately and moving on to future plans.

 _Aizawl: OK, but let's say that he doesn't respond. Then what will we do?_

 _Yes. I've been thinking about what the second Kira might do if he gets no response. For one, he might reveal more information that he knows Kira wants to keep secret to pressure him into a meeting. Of course that would make Kira nervous. It could be interesting. And what would be more interesting is if Kira sends a message of his own to prevent this from happening. Ideally, this could provide us with the physical evidence we'll need to build a case against him. IN the meantime, let's gather all the information we can on this copycat._

This situation has proven useful. We now have the first real tangible evidence in the case. I've sent the second envelope and tape to the crime lab, to be analyzed as thoroughly as possible. Aizawa left to take up this task. Mogi had the shift at the police station; he takes that one quite frequently. Matsuda and Chief Yagami began reviewing the evidence from the second Kira case - I got the impression they were both trying to pinpoint the clues that had led me and Light to the conclusion of a copycat. That left Light and I, to talk over what kind of person M-Kira might be.

 _What is your impression of the second Kira, Light?_

 **Light: He's not as intelligent or careful as the original. In fact, he strikes me as pretty stupid, and probably impulsive on top of that. So he won't be as hard to catch.**

 _Yes, I had that impression as well. The original Kira is highly intelligent and very cautious, but the second one's behaving like an idiot._

 **Light: The second Kira is very fanciful; he acts like a little kid, convinced he's going to meet Kira, rambling about shinigami. He's probably a joiner, looking to be a part of something.**

 _Exactly. A cause, something to build his life around. Probably not much older than you._

 **Light: He sounds a lot younger to me. Sending the tapes to Sakura TV, pulling a public stunt like that…**

 _…Seems very theatrical. Like he's trying to put on a show, get caught up in the fantasy. Perhaps he's in some kind of show business?_

We stayed talking like this, forming our idea of M-Kira, for several hours. I completely lost track of time. Chief Yagami finally reminded us that he needed to go home for the day, and take Light with him. I was annoyed to see him leave.


	12. Chapter 12

_Monday. May 10. 2004._

It's been two weeks since we last heard from M-Kira. Still, there's been no reply. In the meantime, we've continued reviewing all the case evidence available, both for L-Kira and M-Kira. Having Light around provided an excellent reason to go over everything once again, to explain to him precisely how we've gotten to this point. The first week, Light came only on the weekends and Mondays, as his father insisted he must spend time studying. However, by the second week, Light began coming as frequently as possible with his school schedule, every day after class. He's here almost as much as the full-time task force members now. Kira's killings have continued, just as always, but with no clear scheduled time as to when; they seem to be occurring randomly now, at different times throughout the day, though as always, after a criminal's name and face has been broadcast on the news.

The case is ever-evolving.

 _Wednesday, May 12. 2004._

At last, M-Kira has made a move.

Once again, M-Kira has tried to use Sakura TV as the means to communicate with L-Kira; Watari intercepted the new message being sent to their offices. We have both a video and a journal. More and more evidence. M-Kira is very generous.

Chief Yagami brought in Light immediately. I'd already had time to read over the journal carefully prior to Light's arrival, and I was very curious as to whether or not he would form the same conclusion I had.

 **Light: 2003? These entries are from last year.**

 _Please take al look at the entry he made on the 30th._

M-Kira has written a series of entries for May 2003 that indicate he somehow met L-Kira during that time. Of course, L-Kira didn't even exist until November 28 2003. So M-Kira is probably indicating that he wants these events to happen this year.

 _M-Kira's Diary: May 30. Confirmed our shinigami at the Tokyo dome._

 **Light: This is probably supposed to mean that he plans to do this on May 30th. If this were aired on TV, his intention would be obvious to anyone who sees it.**

For the last two weeks, we've fallen into this comfortable pattern. I ask Light what he thinks of the evidence, and he voices aloud what is essentially my opinion, phrased differently. That feeling that he's somehow reading my mind persists. Light continued to examine the diary entries carefully.

 _M-Kira's Diary: May 22nd. My friend and I showed off our notebooks in Aoyama._

Notebooks? That's new. Showed off our notebooks? Notebooks, shinigami, the Eyes. All of these unfathomable words, used between the two Kiras like some kind of code. 'The Eyes' are intelligible to me, but I've refrained from mentioning them to the others. I feel the suggestion would cause a panic. Shinigami could mean how the two Kiras perceive each other - or simply be a codeword for how they kill. The shinigami power. But _notebooks?_ What could that possibly mean? Beyond Birthday never mentioned anything about notebooks, and I can't think of an obvious connection between notebooks and Japanese death gods. However, Light may be able to.

 _What do you think? Is it real?_

 **Light: At this point in time, all I can say for sure is that he must be stupid.**

Is he, though? Light and I have often called M-Kira an idiot, but after two weeks, I'm beginning to wonder. If M-Kira were a complete idiot, surely we would have caught him by now.

 _Matsuda: Yeah. I agree. I mean, it's completely obvious he wants to meet Kira at the home game._

 _Yagami: Doesn't he understand what would happen if we aired this message? It will create a media panic and the game would have to be cancelled._

Yes, indeed. That highly specific reference to the home game, that's the troublesome one. And a home game in Tokyo, one of the most crowded potential meeting places - how on earth would M-Kira realistically expect to confirm L-Kira's identity in that kind of crowd?

 _To be honest, it's so stupid? I'm not even sure how to deal with this whole situation any more. If we make this diary public, then we are forced to make some kind of televised announcement canceling the game on the 30th. But if we don't broadcast it, we can't be sure the second Kria won't do anything._

He might start killing hostages again, like he did the first time to convince Sakura to comply.

 **Light: Won't canceling the game make him angry? There's no telling what he'll do.**

In our profiling of M-Kira, Light and I have agreed that he is emotional and volatile; that he doesn't have rules like L-Kira. M-Kira will kill anyone, no matter who they are, whether they explicitly stand in the way of his goals or not. He has no standards, he can kill with just a face; he is even more dangerous than L-Kira, if that's possible. The only modicum of control we've obtained over him is in our fake (or possibly not fake) version of L-Kira. We know that M-Kira will listen to L-Kira's commands, whether they come from the real L-Kira or not. So we must proceed with caution. But the degree of control we've obtained over M-Kira so far is interesting. And in that case, the danger of what he'll do…

 _Frankly, that's not a big concern. From what we witnessed, it's s are to say the second Kira admires the real one. He gave his word to the Kira we invented that he'd refrain from killing aimlessly. I'm inclined to believe that._

After all, there's no indication that M-Kira has killed anyone new since that statement.

 _I say we make it public and we air an announcement canceling the game. At the same time, we'll announce that on May 30th, we're going to set check points on all roads leading to the Tokyo dome. And finally, we'll send a response from our invented Kira - something like 'I understand and I agree to meet you there.'_

Using our invented Kira, we may be able to gain the advantage, especially now that we've had time to get some idea of what M-Kira is like, and what he'll do.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, you don't honestly expect him to go there if we set up check points around the dome, do you?_

 _I don't think Kira will even consider it, but it's possible the other one might. It depends on how stupid he really is._

M-Kira. Would you fall for that kind of bluff? Or would you simply guess that we're actually L-Kira, and we'd lose our advantage over you? No, that plan's no good. And a bit too dramatic for my taste, really. I'd prefer something subtler. And in any case, I no longer believe that M-Kira is a complete idiot. That conclusion was easy to entertain, simply because M-Kira isn't as clever as L-Kira. But that doesn't make him a moron.

 _However, assuming he's not actually the idiot we think he is, there could be another message hidden in this diary, one that is not so obvious. If there is a message here, written in some code that only people who have this Shinigami power can understand, there'll be no way for me to decipher it._

Notebooks. What could that mean? 'We showed off our notebooks'. Our killing power? But I'd assumed Shinigami meant…

 _Still, it would only make sense for us to look into all the places that are mentioned in the journal. On the 22nd, he's meeting a friend in Toyama, 24th meeting another friend in Shibuya. We have to be prepared for the possibility that all of our efforts will be fruitless. Let's keep an eye out for people with notebooks in Aoyama, and people in clothing stores in Shibuya._

Perhaps the 'notebook' is just a signal. Like saying 'Look for the girl with the red flower in her hair'. We'll be able to recognize each other because we'll be the only people in Aoyama on the 22nd holding notebooks? Or in clothing stores in Shibuya? But that's so vague. If it named a specific location in Aoyama…But then, if the message was broadcast as M-Kira hoped, that specific location would be flooded with people on that date, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kira, perhaps even holding notebooks of their own. Which would be no good. M-Kira is smarter than I thought.

 _All we can do is place more surveillance cameras in Aoyama and Shibuya, in the hopes that we might capture something. We should also arrange to have undercover officers in both locations on these days._

We need to have as much surveillance as possible. The possibility that M-Kira might actually go to one of these locations on the date specified is too much to pass up.

 _Matsuda: I should probably go to Aoyama and Shibuya, since I'd blend in with the crowd there, you know?_

True enough. Aizawa, Yagami and Mogi might as well walk around with 'police officer' stamped on their foreheads. They'd stand out walking around Aoyama or Shibuya. Since both Kiras are likely young, they won't stand out much. They'll look like anyone else wandering a trendy neighborhood. Still, Matsuda going alone…Matsuda, the least likely one on the task force to spot anything suspicious, the most unassuming and naive? Would that really be -

 **Light: I'll go too.**

 _Yagami: But Light -_

 **Light: I'll be all right. Don't worry. Aoyama and Shibuya are placed I'd go anyway. Not to mention, out of all of us, I'll probably look the most natural hanging out with Matsui there. Besides, the second Kira will be there looking for Kira, not the police.**

In all the urgency of M-Kira's tape, I'd almost forgotten to consider Light. Light, who may in fact be Kira. Usually, I'd be following his responses as closely as possible, but I'd barely been watching him the whole time. The immediacy of the problem at hand had occupied my focus; if Light had overreacted to any of this, I would have missed it. But this statement returned my attention to him again. True, Light's arguments are perfect. He's right, yes. He looks even more suited to this particular undercover op than Matsuda, and unlike Matsuda he's been getting a good idea of M-Kira's mindset. If Light isn't Kira, then he's doing exactly what I need him to do, stepping up and pulling more than his share.

But the fact still remains, that this is also exactly what L-Kira would do in this situation. Jump at the chance to meet M-Kira, and do so with a credible alibi for _why_ he's there. I think the chance of Light's guilt has gone up to 10% now. And I may have just agreed to let the two Kiras meet, face to face. I watched as Light and Matsuda made their plans for the trips, Yagami joining in to lay down a few ground rules (Light isn't permitted to put himself in danger; if he sees someone who might be M-Kira, not to make any move against them.) I could feel Chief Yagami's fear; after all, M-Kira can kill with just a face. M-Kira has 'the eyes'. If Light is innocent, then this is the first time he's really put his life on the line for the sake of the case. If he's guilty…

If he's guilty, then I may have just signed my death warrant.

I watched Matsuda bid Light goodbye, outside the hotel doors. Light took a taxi back home. Once he was firmly around the corner, I called Matsuda's cell phone.

 _Matsuda: Yes?_

 _It's Ryuzaki. When you two are working together, I want you to keep a close eye on Light the entire time. And please keep this between you and me._

 _Matsuda. Oh, sure. Yeah, I understand._

Light and Matsuda. Matsuda might be in danger, then, if Light is guilty? I should ask him if Light brings any kind of notebook.

 _Thursday May 13 2004._

Well, in ten days, we'll lay our trap. Watari has gone to task, installing surveillance cameras at every available space in Aoyama and in all the clothing stores in Shibuya. The Aoyama case will be the most frustrating, since the district isn't exactly small. Yagami, Aizawa and I will be overtasked just trying to keep up. Light and Matsuda's observations will be our best bet at getting anything useful.

Chief Yagami and Light had a discussion today; apparently, Light has crafted an alibi for his mother and sister's sake. His work with the task force is explained to them as a tryst with an erstwhile girlfriend. Apparently, his mother called Chief Yagami to inform him that Light's been spending the nights in hotel rooms with a mysterious stranger. The Chief wanted a warning the next time Light tried to craft such an alibi.

In any case, it's a useful one. He needs something to explain his sporadic absences; this alibi even gives him plausible reason for going to hotels all the time, or even for sporadic behavior and strange meeting places. I'm once more impressed.

 _Friday, May 14, 2004._

Watari has brought me back inspection reports on the Aoyama area, a list of possible locations. After hours of pouring over the endless coffee shops, shopping centers, and banal office spaces, none of which seemed either more or less likely as a place for the Kira meeting, a club name caught my eye.

 _The Note Blue._ Notebook. Is it too crazy? I found myself doing what I've started doing _every_ time I doubt one of my conclusions. I ran the theory by Light.

 **Light: That could just be a coincidence - then again, maybe that's what he meant by 'notebooks' in the message. Since he can't just come out and say 'meet me at the Note Blue Cafe in Aoyama on the 22nd'…**

 _Exactly. It would draw in too big a crowd, if it were broadcast on the news._

 **Light: Well, we'll certainly check it out while we're there. But just in case, we should probably still investigate other places in the area.**

 _Yes, I agree. The Note Blue looks very promising, but we don't even know for certain if the second Kira intends to be in Aoyama on the 22nd._

The Note Blue. I'll ask Matsuda to pay close attention to Light's behavior when they investigate the place, and of course to anyone suspicious.

 _Saturday May 22 2004._

 _Morning._

Over the last ten days, we've done as much research as possible on the Aoyama prefecture, in an effort to narrow down where M-Kira intends this meeting to take place. We've really only got our basic knowledge of M-Kira's temperament to go on. Based on the Shibuya entry, I'm beginning to wonder if M-Kira might be a woman. It's a little narrow-minded, perhaps; men in the real world go to clothing stores, and he might simply be the sort of man who takes great pride in his wardrobe (like Light, really; Light is always well-dressed, and certainly male.) But still, there is something very feminine about M-Kira. And referring to M-Kira as 'she' further helps differentiate her from L-Kira, whom I have always referred to as 'he'. I will do so, in my mind at least, from now on.

Light, of course, has outdone himself. He's brought a crowd of his fellow college students (barely two months in and already popular, how on earth does he do it and still find time to stay at the top of the class and work on the case, and possibly kill criminals?), to accompany himself and Matsuda around Aoyama. This method allows so that he and Matsuda will appear less suspicious. They're just two in a crowd, wandering Aoyama on a peaceful Saturday. If Light isn't Kira, then he's done very well to ensure that both he and Matsuda will be safe from M-Kira guessing their real intentions.

If he is Kira, then what is his purpose in this diversion? The real L-Kira would want to meet, or at least spot, M-Kira. He would wish to be able to control M-Kira outside of our supervision. If 'notebook' is indeed a code for something only the two Kiras understand, then Light will try to convey this code to M-Kira, presumably assuming that either I or Matsuda wouldn't recognize that code for what it is. Chief Yagami, Watari, Mogi and Aizawa will observe the parts of Aoyama that Light and Matsuda aren't investigating. I intend to follow them on the surveillance cameras.

 _Afternoon._

If Light does intend to send M-Kira a signal, I don't think he's done it yet. I've been watching him on surveillance cameras for hours. He hasn't made a single move that strikes me as out-of-the-ordinary. He's acted quite normal, laughing and talking with his high school friends, making fun of Matsuda, hanging out and having fun. There were a few times when he was clearly distracted, but each time, both he and Matsuda were focused on the same thing. Essentially, any oddness in Light's behavior was easily explained away as investigating for M-Kira.

Of course, I watched him carefully as he and Matsuda passed by the Note Blue, just at opening time. Light is clearly the social director of his little group of friends, easily maneuvering them in any given direction. Like most young people, the group mostly wandered aimlessly, prodded by Light wherever he wished to go. Based on that, it was clear he was maneuvering them to be in front of that club at opening hour, which of course has the obvious explanation that he simply wished to watch out for M-Kira. Still, the other explanation makes just as much sense.

 _Evening._

A whole day in Aoyama, and nothing. Light and Matsuda returned very late in the night, with a full report on what they'd seen (apparently, Light had written it in the taxicab back to the hotel, taking note of anything odd they'd seen.) Matsuda was completely exhausted, struggling to stay awake. Light seemed just as calm and alert as ever, if a bit annoyed at the final result.

 **Light: I hate to say it, but I didn't see anything useful, or anyone suspicious the whole time we were there.**

 _Matsuda: Yeah, and we looked everywhere._

 _The Note Blue?_

 **Light: I think there was some kind of event going on there; it was pretty crowded, and the line to get in went down the block.**

 _We kept an eye on the surveillance cameras the whole time, but nobody here saw any suspicious meeting either. I noticed a few people holding notebooks, all students behaving quite naturally._

 **Light: Were any of them using the notebooks in an unusual manner? I mean, just having a notebook is pretty common, so the second Kira couldn't guarantee the first Kira would know what they were trying to say anyway.**

I hate to admit it, but Light's right. We'll perform the same experiment in Shibuya on Monday.

 _Monday May 24 2004._

 _Evening._

Once again, the experiment has proved disappointing. We had less space to surveil today, only the clothing stores in Shibuya. Light invited a group of women from Touou, offering up himself and Matsuda as chaperones on a shopping spree. Once again, very clever. Most of them were clearly interested in Light, which made it easy for him to direct which stores they might enter; over the course of the day, they made the circuit of every clothing store in Shibuya. Light kept up appearances once again very well; towards the women, he is very charming and polite, but not flirtatious. He acts the same to each of them; no one in particular is pointed out. I recalled Raye Penber's notes; that Light had multiple girlfriends in high school.

I wonder - Light's an eighteen year old college student, attractive and popular. Most people of that age have nothing but dating on the mind and are eager to fall in love. But as much as Light goes out on dates, he's never indicated that he feels much for any woman. Perhaps he simply hasn't found the right one yet, or perhaps he's like me, and falling in love just doesn't interest him. Perhaps his only passion is for justice.

These musings are completely useless to the Kira case. But a whole day of monitoring Light's teenage friends flirting with him and looking for dresses, desperately hoping to see some indication of Kira, has left me with little to go on.

 _Tuesday. May 25. 2004._

So, our experiment has given us nothing. It looks like we may have to go with the original plan - to set up checkpoints on the way to the Tokyo dome. I'm beginning to feel highly discouraged. If M-Kira truly does intend to meet L-Kira at the Dome, will we be able to spot her? I can tell that Light is just as frustrated as I am. As the task forced discussed what to do next, we received a new transmission from Watari.

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, apparently Sakura TV has just received another message from the second Kira. It was postmarked on the 23rd._

As before, Watari sent us the video to the laptop at task force headquarters.

 _M-Kira: I'm happy to say that I have found Kira. To all the people of the television station and the police department, I'd like to thank you very much._

She's cheeky, M-Kira. Thanking us, ironically, for _helping her._ So she knows that the police department has been intercepting her messages? She probably has just assumed we're checking her tapes. More importantly, she claims she's found Kira. If this is true, the only possible event that corresponds with this tape being mailed on the 23rd is the entry regarding Aoyama on the 22nd. The only ones from the task force who went to Aoyama are Matsuda and Light Yagami. Is Light really Kira after all? Still, there's no proof it even happened in Aoyama.

 _Aizawa: This is a disaster if he found him._

 _Yagami: Yeah. And most likely, it means that the two Kiras are now cooperating with each other._

Ever since we realized there was a second Kira, I have had to consider the possibility that the two Kiras would meet. If they do, then L-Kira will most likely find some way for M-Kira to get a good look at me, learn my name and face, and kill me. I have to ensure this does not happen, under any circumstances. Have they met face to face?

 _At this point, I don't think we should jump to any conclusions. The second Kira is only saying that he found him, nothing more. He may not have made contact yet._

I still refer to M-Kira as _he_ in my discussions with the Task Force; we all assume 'he', and 'she' is only for my personal convenience.

 _Now that it comes to this, we have no choice but to communicate, as the police, directly with the second Kira._

 _Matsuda: You wanna send a message?_

If M-Kira has found Kira, it will only be a matter of time before M-Kira tries to contact him. I've got to try, first with persuasion, while I do what I can to find out who M-Kira is. The forensic evidence from the envelopes is still being processed. We found fingerprints on all of them, the same set of fingerprints, and plenty of trace evidence. But it's still being processed, and we're running out of time. We've got to write up this message and broadcast it tonight. If M-Kira is willing to listen.

 _Yes. The police need to reach out to the copycat and offer him a deal. We need to negotiate with him to see if we can get Kira's real name._

I opt to draft this message.

 _Evening._

My message to M-Kira, broadcast on the 6:00 news, is as such: If Kira doesn't know your name, it may not be too late, provided that you're willing to cooperate. Whatever you do, you must not approach Kira out of curiosity. Make no mistake. Kira will kill you if you contact him. You'll be used and disposed of. Consider your own life for a minute. Yours, like every other life, has an intrinsic value. Now is your chance to right past wrongs by sharing what you know about Kira. Only you can help us bring his reign of terror to an end.

The correspondence between the mailing date and the Aoyama trip has given me pause to think. And I am growing more and more certain, every minute, alone in the hotel room, with the task force gone.

Light Yagami _is_ Kira.

There's nothing else to think, really. Everything, from the beginning until now, has pointed to Light's guilt. Nothing has arisen to contradict that theory. Light fits Kira's profile like a glove. 10% is now 70%. I don't have proof, but I am perfectly convinced for myself.

So what did M-Kira see that day, in Aoyama? My idea of M-Kira, as a young woman looking for a cause to join. What did she expect to see, how did she verify Light's identity, and how did she feel about what she saw? She obviously worships Kira, like any number of those people on the internet convinced he's some kind of God. She's attained his power and more. That power must somehow allow people who use it to identify each other without giving any outward sign of recognition.

What is M-Kira thinking now? When she saw Light, and recognized him as Kira, what did she think then? I recall watching Light in Shibuya, surrounded by young and pretty women. It's true, women flock to Light Yagami like moths to a flame. M-Kira will probably be no different, only her devotion will be even more fanatical, since she sees him as some kind of God.

She will no doubt attempt to introduce herself as soon as possible. So far, she's been fanatical in her pursuit. I rather doubt that our appeal to her will do much good. So what will Light think, when he sees her? Based on what I know, he will use her for his purposes. But as to her? Light has expressed nothing but disgust for M-Kira in our conversations, and seemed perfectly genuine. I'd wondered if the reason Light showed no real interest in the girls who surrounded him, was simply that he hadn't yet found the right person.

A fanatic, devoted to Kira's cause, willing and able to kill for him, I suppose would be the _right_ person from Kira's perspective. If I hear of Light suddenly having a new girlfriend in the next few days…L-Kira and M-Kira, the couple who slays together and lays together. My own worst nightmare, really.

Light, you are Kira. You probably hope to gain a powerful ally in the form of M-Kira. And when I catch you, and sentence you both to death, I'm beginning to wonder if there will be a hole in my life, without you. I suppose I'm no better than M-Kira, really.

Because I can't get you out of my head.


	13. Chapter 13

_Tuesday May 25. 11 pm._

I have been pouring over the footage from Aoyama for hours. I'd probably be happy if I went the rest of my life without looking at another shopping center.

The other task force members are tired and irritated.

 _Aizawl: So were you actually planning to check all of the footage we got from Aoyama on the 22nd by yourself?_

 _That's right. I think it's very likely that Kira and the second Kria made contact with each other there on that day. So I wanted to check all these tapes personally._

To wit: M-Kira delivered the message about having found L-Kira to our station on the 23rd. The only event that could have prompted this was the Aoyama visit on the 22nd. I need to find some visible proof of Light's guilt. If I can't find it in these tapes…

 _Also, Mr. Yagami. Please ask Mr. Mogi to start following Light so we can keep tabs on what he's doing._

 _Yagami: You want him followed?_

I've deliberately avoided having Light meet at least one of the task force members up until now. Mogi has always been on shift at the police station when Light came to visit. Light won't know who he is.

 _It's only a slim chance, but if Light is Kira, then there's still the possibility that the second might try to contact him somehow._

 _Yagami: Very well._

Also, I've had a good look at all of Light's friends, because he took them with him to Aoyama. I will know if M-Kira is a new friend.

 _Aizawa: I'm starting to wonder if Ryuzaki is even human. The guy never sleeps._

 _Matsuda: I saw him sleeping in that exact same position the other day._

Unlike Light, I have no friends. The task force members are my allies; the Wammy's kids are my successors. But there is no one, really, whom I can safely say is in my confidence. Nobody else knows my private thoughts. I've always found the idea of having friends intrusive; a distraction, which would take me away from cases. Even Misora, the best ground agent I ever worked with. The only person I ever took the time to thank, in person, once the case was over, for her contribution. I did not consider her my friend. So I don't mind that they mutter about me, really.

I can't get attached.

 _Wednesday May 26_

Now to profiling M-Kira. M-Kira is definitely Japanese. The tapes were mailed from Osaka, Tokyo, and Nagano. Far apart locations, far apart in time, but all in Japan. M-Kira and L-Kira live in the same country. Whether M-Kira lives in the Kanto region or not, M-Kira will make an effort to meet L-Kira.

M-Kira is smarter than I thought. Really, it's not so much that M-Kira is stupid, but that M-Kira is far less afraid of being caught than L-Kira. And why shouldn't she be? She has the power to kill with just a person's face. Even if L-Kira himself (Light) tried to make a move against her, she could kill him. Would Light want to get rid of M-Kira? If she wasn't willing to cooperate with him, if he perceived her as a threat endangering his project, then yes, absolutely. And I believe that he does. His clear disgust every time we talk about her, it's obvious that he doesn't appreciate this use of Kira's power.

But that doesn't mean he won't use her abilities as much as he can first. And, I flatter myself, his first move would be to try and arrange a way for her to meet me. I'll have to be very careful of him from here on out, even more than I have been.

I've watched over the Aoyama footage again and again. I can't find _anything_ useful. Light spends the whole day doing nothing but talk to his friends and investigate for the second Kira. He appears as frustrated with the lack of progress as I feel watching the tapes.

 _Evening._

Mogi's first day report following Light came in. Today, Light is very busy with classes; he has very little time for work at the task force, and his studies go on well into the night. According to Mogi, he has started dating someone. A young woman named Kiyomi Takada.

Unfortunately, Kiyomi Takada is one of the young women Light took to Shibuya. The package from M-Kira was delivered while Light and Takada were in Shibuya; there'd be no reasonable way for her to be M-Kira. In any case, I've scanned the Aoyama footage, and Kiyomi Takada was not there.

I've considered the possibility that M-Kira might see Light as a potential lover. In that case, M-Kira would not take kindly to any competition. I wonder if Kiyomi Takada is in danger. I haven't looked into the Shibuya footage quite as much, but I recall that Light showed no particular preference for any of the girls he'd brought. Kiyomi Takada did strike me, of all those present, as the most interested in Light. That's to say, her interest went beyond that simple admiration that Light seems to ignite in all women.

Light's love life has never interested me much before; it was just a fact of his identity, like his spectacular grades or being Chief Yagami's son. But putting myself in M-Kira's mindset has forced me to think hard about such matters. I've never had a love affair myself; just like friendship, it's something I've always avoided. I've observed many times just how destructive love affairs can be.

M-Kira has nothing to worry about, really, as regards Kiyomi Takada. Light's passion lies in enacting justice. His own definition of justice, let's say. _Kira's_ justice. He's as married to his job as I am to mine.

M-Kira. What will you do now? Will you, against all odds, respond to our advice, turn yourself in and cut a deal? Have you really found Light, and are you really going to try and introduce yourself?

 _Thursday May 27. 2004._

 _Evening._

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, we've just received another tape from Sakura TV, sent by the second Kira._

 _Send it here right away._

It seems my worst fears have been confirmed.

 _M-Kira: I've decided to stop searching for Kira. And I'd like to thank the police department for their advice. However, I still plan to help Kira in his mission. And I hope that, in time, he'll come to see me as an ally. I will start by punishing criminals that Kira has yet to judge. Also, I will share my power with others who I feel are worthy, and I will encourage them to do the same. Together, we'll make the world a better place._

She's met him, then. Mogi only started following Light today, so M-Kira has had at least four days in which to introduce herself to Light. Light was busy and on camera all day in Shibuya, and here on the 24th. He was unsupervised on the 25th, the same day we issued our warning to M-Kira. She may have stepped forward and introduced herself then.

 **Light: Hello.**

I avoided looking at him. When I do look at Light, I start to get distracted; it becomes harder to picture him as Kira, because he always meets my gaze, and he has a way of shaking my doubt.

 _Oh, come in. Your timing couldn't be better, actually. We just received a new video message from the second Kira._

 **Light: Huh? Wow, that didn't take long.**

Not long at all. She moves quickly. Perhaps as soon as you told her, she went into action. The timing indicates she met you late at night on the 25th, so she must have spent the 26th recording and sending the message for it to arrive so quickly.

 _Yes. I believe it's the last one. Well, take a look at this._

Light stood behind me. This time, I didn't study his reaction. I already know that he's Kira. Studying his reactions up close won't give me anything now that I don't know. I need to focus on concrete evidence that will convince the task force and a jury. Showing Light this tape is really just a courtesy.

 _After watching this, I can only think that Kira and the second Kira have managed to make contact._

 **Light: What makes you say that?**

Despite all of my precautions, I still feel a twinge of annoyance. I'd expected Light to do whatever he could to keep us from reaching this conclusion; it's clear from the video that he wants us to assume that he and M-Kira are not collaborating, to throw off my suspicion. Still, because Light usually echoes my thoughts, says in his own words so much of my thinking - it feels jarring, like something forced in where it doesn't belong.

 _Oh, come on. Didn't you sense it? I was sure you'd come to the same conclusion I did after watching this once through. First, consider how determined he was to meet Kira, so why the sudden change of heart? Now he wants to punish criminals that Kira hasn't? And all he wants out of this is for Kira to see him as an ally? The biggest question, why didn't he do this to begin with? I'm guessing it's because he never thought that far ahead. He probably met Kira and was told which criminals he'd be allowed to judge. I suspect that the purpose of this message is to hide the fact that they met._

I know what you're up to, Light. That's not what you wanted to hear. I know that you've got an ally now, that you want to keep us guessing. Now what will you say?

 **Light: I see. What I find really strange is that it's unlike Kira to be so careless.**

So you're admitting that you made a mistake? No. Light doesn't do that. Certainly not so blatantly. He's only made one mistake so far, in the entire course of our acquaintance, and that was killing Lind L. Tailor, before he was aware of L's true nature. Since then, ever move on his part has been calculated, flawless. Just like his transcripts.

 _That's true. But are we to believe that Kira made a mistake this time? Or is this his way of letting us know they made contact. It would be an effective means of provoking us. The idea of their union is very threatening._

Terrifying, really. But there is also one noticeable omission in the video. M-Kira and Light have met; I had assumed that the moment M-Kira and Light met, he would ask her to find a means to kill me. But he's done nothing of the sort. The video makes no mention of me.

 _However, this is also one less reason to suspect that Light is Kira._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, what do you mean by that?_

Would you throw away such a convenient means of getting rid of me, Kira? It's time, now that I know for sure, to start asking Light as well as I can - that's to say, without making it clear to the task force members what I am asking - what his intentions are.

 _If Light is Kira, I don't think that this is the message he would have the second Kira send us. It doesn't fit. He would have made the second Kira go through with his plan to have me appear on TV, then deny they had ever made contact, letting the second Kira shoulder the blame for my death. He'd make him say something like "Although I agreed not to go through with this, I have come to realize that it was not Kira's true intention that I stop. I'm positive the real Kira would want L to die. There's no way he'd make me stop."_

That's what I'd been expecting, really. What I'd been dreading to find inside this tape. My own death sentence. Ever since M-Kira's initial demand, and Ukita's death, I've felt my heartbeat start to race a little faster whenever I watched one of M-Kira's tapes. Each time, she's avoided making the same threat again. Now, I've asked Light why.

 **Light: Ryuzaki.**

 _Yes, Light?_

 **Light: I think you're mistaken. I would never do that, if I were Kira.**

My first _real_ interaction with Light. I wonder if he senses the unspoken truth between us, if he knows what I'm saying to him. More importantly, though…

 _Why not?_

I'm almost offended, really. Taking me out should be L-Kira's - Light's - first priority. He's been slow about it.

 **Light: Well, if you are L, and I'm Kira, then I'd already know your personality pretty well. L would never agree to appear on TV no matter what threat he was facing. And he wouldn't allow someone else to die in his place. The L I know would find some way to escape the situation.**

 _So, you figured it out._

For a moment, it seems, I'd forgotten who I was speaking to. Light Yagami, who seems able to read my mind. Once again, he's spoken aloud exactly what I was thinking. He knows me, somehow, a little too well. We've known each other two months; it feels like he's known me my whole life.

 _Yagami: Look, Light. You've got to stop that. I don't like hearing you say, 'If I were Kira', even hypothetically._

 **Light: Oh, I'm sorry, dad. I just wanted to let Ryuzaki know exactly what I thought of his plan. I posed that scenario because I want to help solve this case. It's the only chance I have to clear my name. Besides, the only reason I feel comfortable saying things like that is because I'm not really Kira.**

Listening to him speak, I'm stuck with a very uncomfortable truth. I've been repeating to myself, I can't get attached, because friendship is a distraction. I can't get attached, because love affairs are dangerous. I can't get attached, because everyone is a potential suspect. I've never been tempted towards attachment before. I'm so certain that Light is Kira, that this understanding is rather uncomfortable.

 _That's a good point. You're not Kira. That is, it would be a problem if you were. Because…_

 _I feel you're the first friend I've ever had._

And you are Kira. And it is a problem. I hear Light draw in his breath behind me, and at last turned to look at him. I've never seen him so surprised; his entire face seemed transformed. Suddenly, there was a warmth to it, a life; that life he seems to get when he's around me - or rather, when we're challenging each other. It makes him look, somehow, alive.

 **Light: Y-yeah, I know what you mean. The two of us have a lot in common.**

 _Thank you._

 **Light: And I have missed having you around at school. We should pay tennis again, soon.**

 _Yes, we should._

Isn't that all we've ever done?

 _Nighttime._

Light is my friend, and he is Kira. Those two concepts seem utterly irreconcilable. I will have to put him away. It won't be long now before he slips up, especially with M-Kira around. I'll have him. Somehow, I don't want it to end. This case has taken more of my time and my life than any other I've ever worked. And now I know why, why I've stuck with the Kira case so long, why I've exposed myself, risked my life, brought a teenager to work with a police task force.

It's so rare, for anyone, to have someone else echo their thoughts and enter into their inner world. And even from the beginning, I had the odd sensation that Kira could think like me, that he understood my mind better than anyone I'd ever met. Now that we've met in person - now that I've seen his face, and come to know him so well - the same is true. Light looks into my mind and lays it out for all to see. He speaks the same language as I do. We're so in sync it's almost annoying. And that sensation, that feeling of being known, it's almost intoxicating. I'm a little addicted to this case, too close to Kira, far too attached to let go.

Light is my friend, and Light is Kira. Somehow, those two concepts seem to fit together all too well.


	14. Chapter 14

_Friday May 28 2004._

 _Morning._

Meet M-Kira.

Misa Amane, age 19. Professional model and pop idol. Two years ago, her parents were murdered in front of her by a burglar, attempting to rob her home. The man was quickly arrested, thanks to her testimony. However, his trial dragged out for quite some time; absurd rumors began to surface that he was being falsely accused. It looked as though he might be released. Then, in February, Kira killed the man.

Amane's parents' DNA was placed in the federal database following the crime, in order to be used in the criminal's conviction. The trace evidence found on the envelopes containing the Kira tapes shares 14 alleles in common with that DNA. There's no room for doubt here. Misa Amane is M-Kira.

As soon as we determined this fact, I began researching her. She's a well-known supermodel, pictured on magazines, in advertisements, in pop music, throughout Japan. They call her Misa-Misa. She's not exactly hard to miss; she's a tiny young woman, blonde, naturally brown eyes but wears blue contacts. Her clothes are always garish and revealing, her makeup very heavy. She can probably disguise herself quite easily, then; simply slip into everyday clothes and a wig, since everyone only knows the supermodel image.

Her motivation, then, is very obvious. She's devoted to Kira, because he killed the man who killed her parents. Her modeling career fits the profile I'd had of the second Kira; the need for attention, the showiness of it all, she's used to being in the spotlight. She's known for being very reticent when it comes to dating. The fan magazines are always abuzz with potential love affairs, but Miss Amane has turned down any potential offers. She's known to be friendly and pleasant to most people, but has no intimate relationships anymore. No friends of particular importance.

I'd almost feel sorry for her, if she wasn't a murderer. She's had a hard life; looking into police reports, I find multiple charges of crazy stalkers and dangerously obsessive fan mail. There's a charge of attempted murder, only a few months ago; a crazed stalker, wielding a knife, attempted to kill her. His untimely death was the only thing that saved her, according to her testimony. Tragedy after tragedy.

And now, she's found Kira. From her perspective, of course, Kira is the man who killed her parents' murderer. He's her savior, her hero. She worships him. She did not respond to our request that she bargain for her life. There's no negotiating with her.

The obvious move to make would be to order Miss Amane's arrest, immediately. But Amane is a well known person; publicity follows her everywhere she goes. If she's arrested as the second Kira, on this evidence alone, there will be a media uproar. She has to be stopped as soon as possible, because she can kill with just a face.

Mogi's report sealed the deal for me. He'd followed Light home, and witnessed a petite blonde woman tackle him from behind, exclaiming his name and proclaiming that she just couldn't wait to see him. Mogi found this noteworthy, because Light is allegedly dating Kiyomi Takada. A second girlfriend stood out. And she matches Misa Amane's description.

L-Kira and M-Kira have met. Perhaps more than once, since Light responded to Misa's tackle by inviting her into his home. L-Kira and M-Kira are an item, like I predicted. It's time to press my upper hand - my knowledge of Misa's involvement. If I play this right, I'll have both Kiras for the price of one.

 _Meeting with the Task force._

Yagami, Matsuda and Aizawa joined me in examining the evidence, sent over from the trace lab. As we examined it, I started considering what they needed to know. Light plans, no doubt, to arrange for Amane to see me, so that she can kill me with just my face. He will not have her demand that I appear on TV again, since he's already stated he knows that tactic won't work. I have no idea when or how she will come for me. Perhaps she's shared her extended ability with Light already, how to do it, and he has my face and name already, since the last time he saw me. In any case, I may be running out of time.

 _Hair…snack crumbs…hair…_

If I'm going to die, Light, I'm taking you down with me.

 _Mr. Yagami, if I die within the next few days, your son is Kira. Hm, another hair._

 _What did you just say, Ryuzaki?_

I could feel Yagami's anger burning beside me. I know that this is difficult for him to hear. He's spent so long trying to avoid even considering the real possibility of Light's guilt. What will he do, when he learns the truth? I don't know if he'll be able to hold it together. And if I die, there will be nothing I can do to stop him.

 _If anything happens to me, I've asked Watari to make himself available to you. So I'm counting on the team._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, you said he was almost cleared and now this? Honestly, how much do you suspect my son?_

Yes, I suppose I did claim Light was almost cleared. Really, he's only gotten more suspicious as time goes on. But then, there are times, when I doubt my own convictions. I want to badly to know for sure, to stop these nagging doubts that keep burrowing in, regardless of how certain I feel, how positive I wish to be.

 _The truth is, I don't even know what to think anymore. I've never been in a situation like this. If Kira and the second Kira are working together right now, things are not looking good for me. Given that, I may not be thinking as clearly as I normally do. So I could be wrong. Maybe I still consider him a suspect only because we don't have anyone else. But still…If I do happen to be killed soon, please assume that your son is Kira._

I have no choice but to make a sneak attack. This is all a wager now.

 _Afternoon._

 _3:30 PM._ Everything is set in place. The trap is set. If everyone involved performs their parts, we should have reasonable cause for both Kiras. If one thing goes wrong, I will die. I can feel my heartbeat rising. When I start to get nervous, I read. Anything to clear my head. I went over the plan, step by step, in my mind. I just have to accomplish each step, perfectly, and I'll be safe.

 _3.35 PM._ Light Yagami and Kiyomi Takada. They walk this route on the way from class to the cafe. Light's class gets out at quarter to four. I have ten minutes to go over the plan again. Step One. Approach Light at school, at this time precisely. Keep him talking, keep him busy, keep him in plain sight.

 _3.48 PM._ Light and Takada. Right on time. He looks unhappy to see me. I'm the last person he expected, the last thing he wants to see right now. He stops dead in his tracks. Takada picks up on it immediately.

 _Hey, Light. How's it going?_

 **Light: Kiyomi, could we continue this later? I need a moment alone with him.**

 _Kiyomi Takada: Ah. OK._

Light need to keep me isolated what is he going to say keep him talking discuss Takada

 _I hope she's not upset._

 **Light: Never mind that. Is it OK to be here? Didn't you say you were afraid to appear in public?**

This isn't according to your plan, is it Light? I'm not _supposed_ to be here today. You must have had some plan in mind for how you were going to kill me. My coming here has disrupted it. That's good. Comforting. Your panic is making me feel more secure.

 _3.54 PM._

 _Yeah, I did. But then, I realized that as long as you are not Kira, I should be safe. The fact is, you are the only one on the outside who knows me as L. In the unlikely event that I die in the next few days, I've instructed your father and everyone in the task force headquarters to assume that you are Kira._

Step Two. Tell Light why he can't kill me yet. The first act in guaranteeing my safety. If he makes a move, he'll be arrested. He looks furious; that's to say, to someone who hasn't studied Light's emotional reactions for months, he would appear mildly annoyed. But it's clear enough to me; I've foiled a perfectly laid plan of his, and he doesn't like that.

 _Besides, you told me yourself that you missed having me around at school, so I figured why not come back for a little change of pace? As long as it doesn't kill me, college is a lot of fun._

I may be about to die. Very soon. If things don't go exactly right.

 **Light: I have to admit, without you around, intelligent conversation is hard to come by.**

Yes, it is for you, isn't it, Light? You're used to being the smartest in the room, the one who understands concepts that the other students don't care about. You probably expected college to be considerably more challenging than high school, and you're disappointed not to be immediately surrounded by those of equal genius. You even started seeing one of your fellow top-ranked students in school, and even she can't seem to quite stand on your level. I wonder if you mean what you're saying, in any way.

 _I see. Luckily, Kiyomi is there to fill the void?_

 **Light: Well, something like that.**

 _3.58 PM._

Keep him talking. It's a shame, really, Light, because I feel a lot like you do. I'm also used to having nobody to really talk to, no one else on the same level. Strange that you are, somehow, my friend and my enemy, at the same time.

 _Hey, you wanna have some cake with me in the cafeteria?_

 **Light: Sure, I have a break now anyway.**

He's guessing, running every possible scenario in his head. But it doesn't matter how many guesses you make, Light. You're never going to guess.

 _Hm, that's perfect. I'm kind of craving shortcake right now._

 **Light: Well, let's hope they have it.**

We get up, leaving. If we walk too quickly, this will all fall through the roof. There's a decent amount of teenagers around us, but we're quite conspicuous.

 _4.01 PM._

Right about now.

 _Misa Amane: Light! There you are! I had a photoshoot nearby so I thought I'd come to see you!_

Step Three. Having directed Misa Amane's manager to ensure her photoshoot for today took place right by Touou University, I've waited for her to drop by, as soon as possible, to visit Light.

 _Misa Amane: Oh, this must be a friend of yours. He looks so different. Unique._

Well, M-Kira. Now you've seen my face, the clock is ticking. You have approximately five minutes in which to kill me. Her voice is very high, excitable. She looks at me, smiling, cheerful; I can see why she's so popular. It's not just her looks, it's her attitude. Being around her makes me feel immediately more optimistic. She has that kind of presence. She's looking at me, and she doesn't even hesitate to speak quite bluntly. She's direct and honest, she speaks her mind. After so many days of mind games, mysteries, and hidden meanings, she's like being splashed with cold water.

 _Misa: Hi there. I'm Light's girlfriend, Misa Amane. Nice to meet you._

 _I'm Hideki Ryuuga._

My alias, of course. She immediately looks confused. She's looking not quite at my face, but almost above my head, as though seeing something. Like Beyond Birthday used to look at people when he met them for the first time, as though he could see their names floating above their heads.

 _Misa: Hu? Hideki Ryu -_

 _Light: Yeah, he has the exact same first and last name act e famous idol. Pretty bizzare, huh?_

He steps in between us. He was hoping to prevent Misa from giving them away. I'm smiling in spite of myself. I might die in the next five minutes. If I'm not careful. Light notices my expression. He looks unnerved. I'm laughing a little, partly from nerves, partly amusement. Amane is looking at me, confused, unnerved.

 _Light, you're a lucky guy._

He is, really. He's had tremendous luck, up until now. But I've finally got him. If I play this right.

 _4.05 PM._

Step four. Prevent M-Kira from killing me at all costs. I don't think she knows I'm L. Light hasn't told her that much. If so, she would have probably killed me right away. My heart is still beating. Time to keep Amane's attention occupied.

 _I've been a huge fan of yours ever since the August issue of Eighteen._

A particularly well-known issue, often said to be Amane's starting point; an interview she gave, a photoshoot that inspired many to start following her works. I've only really learned about her in the past day or so, but it's easy to claim you're a fan of a famous and popular model. Light still looks very unnerved. Amane looks pleased.

 _What? Really? That's so sweet of you!_

Her voice isn't soft and calculating, like Light's. The scene has attracted attention. A crowd of teenagers spots Misa-Misa, the famous idol, the pop star, and they swarm to her. The perfect opportunity. I have only a few more minutes before the trap is sprung, before Misa is taken away to a place where she cannot kill me. There's no time for her to kill me now. But she could still be able to communicate my name to Light. Which means I have to act quickly, if I want to live.

In the confusion of the crowd, it's very easy to slip in. She has a cell phone sticking out of her back pocket, a garish pink phone with a small doll version of herself hanging off of it. I sneak it out of her pocket as quickly as possible, while she's distracted by her admirers. In the process, my hand grazes her rear.

 _Misa: No way, somebody just touched my butt!_

She's staring at me. I'm right behind her, the cell phone carefully tucked away in my pocket. But I still look very suspicious to the crowd of onlookers, to Misa Amane. To M-Kira. She could kill me. At any second, she could kill me.

 _This is an outrage! Taking advantage of this situation is unforgivable. I will find whoever is responsible for this!_

As I speak, I run around her, gesturing at the crowd, making a scene, until I'm in front of her, facing her. She's smiling again, that feeling like a ray of sunshine - so much optimism, despite the laundry list of tragedies.

 _Oh, Ryuuga, you're so funny!_

I feel shy again, nervous; easily lost in the moment. It's been a long time since anyone complimented me. With L-Kira, around Light, I've always felt as though I needed to second guess everything he says. His intention is always layered; there's a second and a third meaning hidden there. Misa Amane, though, she speaks her mind. M-Kira has never hidden; she's always been right out in the open. I won't need to play any mind games with her.

 _4.08._

Step Five.

 _Yoshi Marahita (_ Amane's manager): _Misa, it's time. Do you want to be late again?_

 _Misa: No, I-I'm sorry, Yoshi_

Get Amane away from here as fast as possible.

 _Misa: Bye, Light! I'll see you after I'm done work! I miss you already!_

She's very sweet, really. Easy to forget that she can kill me at any time now.

 _Now then, perhaps we should get going._

 **Light: Yeah. Actually, could you go on ahead? I need to use the restroom.**

 _Oh. OK. I'll see you there._

You want to contact her now, Light? But it's too late. She's already out of sight. You waited until she was out of sight, and now there's no way for you to learn my name. I'm safe.

 _4.10_

The cell phone in my pocket starts to ring. Some popular song I've never heard. My heart is pounding.

 _Yes? Hello?_

 **Light: What do you mean, hello?**

I can hear him. Both on the phone, and standing behind me, not ten feet away. I have you now, Light.

 _Oh, is that you, Light? I guess someone must have dropped this phone in all the commotion earlier on._

Playing innocent will keep Light occupied just long enough. There's always the possibility that Misa has more than one cell phone. If it takes too long, then I'll be dead.

 _Ah, hello?_

 **Light: Yeah, that's - that's Misa's cell phone you have. I can give it back to her.**

 _Oh, I see. Well, sure, that makes sense._

I hand it back to him. I noticed that the phone Light was carrying looked all wrong for him - red and pink, garish, not at all like Light. It's probably Misa's. He borrowed it, to ensure we wouldn't have any record of him calling her with his own phone. Clever. But not quite fast enough, Light. It's incredibly suspicious you to call Misa, using her own phone rather than your own, the moment she's out of sight, especially when your behavior indicates you don't feel the same way about her that she feels about you. Yes, I can tell that much. You tolerate her, because you have to. But there's no way you were calling her because you missed your _girlfriend._

I turned away, leaving Light alone. What will he do next? Am I running out of time?

 _4.12 PM._

A cell phone ring. Not Amane's. In my pocket.

 _Well, this time it's actually my cell phone._

I answer.

 _Mogi: Ryuzaki, that you?_

 _Yes._

 _Mogi: We did what you asked. We've got her._

 _Yes, I see. So it's done, then._

 _Mogi: She didn't put up a fight, or ask any questions._

 _I understand._

I hang up the phone. Light is watching me. Time to tell him.

 _I'm not sure exactly how you'll take this, but regarding Misa Amane, there's something you should know. We've taken her into custody under suspicion of being the second Kira. We gathered physical evidence from the envelopes that were sent by the second Kira. In particular, we recovered hairs and fibers from the masking tape used to seal them. They matched what we found in Misa's room. There would be a public uproar if it gets out that she's been apprehended as the second Kira, so officially we've charged her manager with drug possession, and she's a voluntary witness. But I doubt any of this will get out._

Step Six. Amane's arrest. She's blindfolded, with her hands bound. She won't have another chance to communicate with the outside world.

You were careless, Light. That tangible evidence lead me right to Amane. If you'd had a chance to destroy that evidence, if you'd acted to stop me from finding her, you might have had a chance. I knew, once I had that information, that it was no good trying to hide any longer. The only way to escape was to keep as close to Light as possible. To confront things head-on.

This wager was my triumph. You're going to lose, Kira.

I thought that, then. But I'm not so sure, now. Light didn't look defeated, as he left. He looked like he was planning something, once again. I have to move quickly, I still don't have time to rest.

 _Evening._

I rejoined the task force and explained what happened. Chief Yagami was clearly deeply unhappy, to know how suspiciously Light had behaved, that the second Kira had approached him, everything that's pointing against him now. But I didn't have time to worry about Chief Yagami's troubles, not while Amane has the ability to kill me, if not the means.

 _Watari, has she said anything yet?_

 _Watari: No, she hasn't spoken a word._

Misa Amane. M-Kira. I wonder how long you're going to hold up? You can kill with just a person's face. You've seen my face, but you don't know who I am. You only know me as Light's odd friend, who uses a fake name. Light's had no chance to tell you I'm L. Still - I need to know.

 _Get me a visual of her, will you?_

 _Watari: Are you sure?_

 _Yes, and quickly!_

The image came up on the screen. Misa Amane, arms bound, tied to the chair, blindfolded, standing, breathing quite raggedly. Behind me, I heard the other task force members cry out in shock.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki! What's the meaning of this?_

 _I've apprehended her on suspicion of being the second Kira. I'm afraid this is necessary._

Would they be so upset, I wonder, if M-Kira was a seven foot middle-aged man, rather than a tiny young woman? Evil is evil, no matter who is committing it, and Misa Amane is the most dangerous person on the planet, regardless of her size or age.

 _Yagami: Chances are Amane is guilty. There seems to be enough evidence to convict her, but all the same…_

 _Yes. There can be no mistake. Now we need a confession out of her. We need to know how she kills, whether she knows Kira, and if so, who he really is. Watari, take the necessary precautions, but beyond that, you're free to do whatever has to be done, OK? Just make her speak._

Watari has conducted hundreds of interrogations for me. I've watched, time and time again, to see just how much individuals can take before they crack. People always think they're prepared to hold up under torture, but it's one thing to think of pain and quite another to experience it. M-Kira, we will make you talk. And as for L-Kira.

 _Mr. Yagami. Light has no become our prime suspect. And I'm probably going to bring him in for interrogation as well. Please be prepared for that._

As soon as Amane talks. I'm having Light followed, day and night, as much as I can watch him without surveillance cameras or being there in person. I need to be here, now, to observe Amane. Until I get something out of her, I can't be anywhere else.

 _Monday May 31st. 2004._

 _Morning._

I may have underestimated Misa Amane.

I've spent years watching interrogations. I've had torture bound interrogations carried out before; I've watched any number of people, and I know one thing for certain: There is only so much suffering a person can take before they just want it to end, and are willing to say whatever's necessary, even if it's just a lie, just what their torturer wants to hear, to get the pain to end.

But Misa, she hasn't said a word. She's been subjected to just about everything we can think of, every brand of torture, for three days straight. No communication, just enough food and bathroom breaks to survive, she's been bound like this for days with no possible means of escape or method available to kill me. Anyone else would crack. I'm certain of it. She has to crack soon. She has to. There's only so much, really, that a person can take. Come now, Amane. What are you fighting for, why are you holding up like this?

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, Amane is talking._

Finally.

 _Quickly, get me her visual and audio._

 _Aizawa: Finally, after three days of this, huh?_

I've watched, as Amane withstood the pain, as she stayed, all this time, resolutely silent. She whimpered, she screamed, but never once did she crack. She's refused to answer a single question. So what is she going to say, at long, long last?

 _Misa: I can't take it anymore. Kill me._

What?

 _Kill me. Please, just kill me._

She can't mean it. She really thinks - she doesn't care, does she? She doesn't care if she lives or dies. Her life means _nothing_ to her. She's been so reckless, so willing to throw away her chances. She wouldn't take the bargain we offered her, she's thrown herself at Kira at every opportunity.

 _Aizawl: I don't know. Maybe this was all too much for a young girl to take._

 _Matsuda: He's right. We've pushed her too far._

I don't think that's what's going on. I pushed the communication line. Time to ask her a few questions myself.

 _Misa Amane. Can you hear me?_

 _Misa: I hear you. Please, just kill me now._

She wants to die. I won't ever kill her, though. No matter how much she begs.

 _Does this mean that you admit to being the second Kira? Is this the reason you wish to die?_

 _Misa: No. I don't know anything about the second Kira. I really can't take this anymore. I'd rather be dead. Now hurry up and kill me. If you wanted to, you could kill me right now, couldn't you? Yes. Kill me._

That's an odd thing to say. Almost as if she's having a conversation - with herself? With someone else? Her words come like responses to someone, some unseen and unheard person.

 _Misa: Yes, I do. Oh, I can't take it anymore. Kill me. You can't, no, you can't. Please, just kill me._

Again, like having a conversation. The first part - 'Yes, I do', as if in response to someone asking if she really wanted to die. Then, 'You can't, no!' Nothing had happened; no one was trying to hurt her. 'Please, just kill _Me.'_ With an emphasis on _me._ You can't what - you can't kill someone else?

 _Misa: Fine, if you won't kill me -_

 _Stop her! Watari, don't let her bite her tongue!_

Watari succeeded in tying up her mouth. We can't ask her anything; she can't respond, until she stops trying to kill herself. Trying to die - Amane's behavior seems so strange, so unfathomable…and yet it seems as though I've heard of this before.

 _Is it possible that this behavior could be attributed to Kira controlling her actions before death?_

Light could be doing this, right now. He could have commanded Amane to refuse any knowledge; that would explain her endurance, past anything that makes sense for a human, and her eagerness to die. Light no longer sees her as an asset. Mogi's report has stated that Light's behavior has been normal; he hasn't changed his routine. But for Kira, killing people _is_ his routine. We haven't been able to stop it so far, why would that change now? If Light kills her, before she confesses, then we're back to square one.

Amane begins shaking her head violently. Then, she calms herself. Relaxed. A single tear, running down her face. Suddenly, a tendril of her hair, hanging over the blindfold, seems to move upward of its own accord. Not from wind, but as though lifted by an invisible hand.

I don't know what to think. The officers on the task force are looking at me as if I'm some kind of deranged pervert, imprisoning and torturing Amane for my own pleasure. Light has given me nothing to work with since that day at university; he hasn't changed his routine or even attempted to contact the task force. Even Kira's behavior has remained consistent. And Amane…

Misa Amane.

Why are you willing to die for him, Misa? What are you hoping to achieve? Is it just to be his girlfriend, is that all you want? To repay him for killing your parents' murderer? You've only just met him; you're already so devoted to him that you'd die to protect him? The truth is, you don't have anybody else, do you? Your parents are gone, and everyone else sees you as the pop idol Misa-Misa, as someone to stalk and obsess over. Light - unattainable, brilliant, beautiful Light Yagami - he represents that to you, the only chance you have, the only family left.

You don't know him like I do; if you really knew Light, Misa Amane, I don't think you'd like him very much. Beneath that glossy surface, Light is calculating. He sees you as disposable. He sees everyone around him as disposable, as an obstacle to be cleared away. He is a monster, and more than that, a lying monster. The absolute worst kind of monster, the ones who pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; eat though they have never tasted hunger, study even though they have no interest in academics; seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. My fear, that has spurred me to keep Amane locked up…I will likely be eaten by them.

Because in truth, I am that monster.


	15. Chapter 15

_Tuesday June 1 2004._

 _Morning._

Misa passed out soon after her attempt to kill herself last night. I wondered, at first, when her head drooped, if I'd been correct in my assumption, that Light had simply been controlling her behavior before death. But according to Watari, she's still alive, just unconscious. I've instructed Watari to revive her. We need to keep pressing our advantage. She's close to breaking, I know it.

 _Watari; She's waking up._

I get a good look at the cameras. Misa is indeed moving; looking around as though trying to see through her blindfold.

 _Misa: Oh, I don't like this, I don't like this at all._

She's talking, finally. Something besides 'kill me'. There's something different in her tone. Has she finally cracked? Is she about to confess?

 _Misa: M-Mr. stalker, please, you're going a little too far, don't you think?_

Stalker? What are you playing at, Amane? She continues on in this vein, begging her 'stalker'. She has a history of stalkers, it's true; her words are very practiced, like she's been in a similar situation before.

 _Misa: Mr. Stalker, this is illegal. You have to stop. OK, come on, please?_

 _Aizawa: She's been acting like this ever since she regained consciousness._

 _Matsuda: Seriously. Does she think she can get out of this just by playing dumb?_

If Amane had been kidnapped by a stalker, her methods are excellent. She's negotiating, trying every tactic possible. She's spent the last three days saying absolutely nothing, and suddenly, she's got too much to say. Matsuda's question is worth examining…surely, nobody would think they could beat a murder charge by claiming ignorance?

 _Misa: OK. How about this? You could at least take off my blindfold, don't you think? It'd be nice to see what you look like._

Negotiating for better treatment at the hands of her 'captor'. Something's not right here. If Amane was going to try to get out of this by pretending not to know anything, why didn't she try this tactic before? Feigned ignorance is usually the first tactic any criminal will use when they're being tortured for information; it's the quickest and most obvious. Wouldn't it have made more sense for her to accuse a stalker when we first captured her? Why now, all of a sudden?

 _Matsuda. Call Mogi for me._

I need to confirm. I'd given Mogi very specific instructions as to how Amane's arrest should be handled; I was certain he'd followed them to the letter, and Amane's behavior thus far has tallied well with his testimony. Still, I have to make sure.

 _Mr. Mogi. When you apprehended Misa Amane, you made it clear that she was a suspect. Am I correct?_

 _Mogi: Yes. Like you told me, first I blindfolded her and covered her mouth. I…told her we knew she was the second Kira. I made sure that she heard me. She didn't struggle when I put the blindfold and handcuffs on her. It was like she'd accepted it._

Yes, that's the account he'd given me before, roughly. Misa hadn't protested at all; she'd allowed herself to be arrested, without even pleading her case. She's been silent on the matter thus far, claiming only to know nothing about the second Kira, and begging to be killed.

 _Misa: What if I give you my autograph or shake your hand? I know! I can give you a kiss on the cheek, if you want. Oh come on, I won't run away, I promise._

We'd already made so much progress with her. I actually thought she'd crack. Why is she suddenly talking about a stalker?

I open the line of communication again.

 _Misa Amane._

 _Misa: Huh? What's that, Mr. Stalker? Are you planning to release me?_

This bluff is absurd. It makes no sense with her previous behavior.

 _Before you passed out, you barely spoke, and even asked me to kill you. And now you're claiming ignorance?_

 _Misa: Hm? I don't understand. I mean, you are the one who knocked me out and brought me here, remember? Wait, I get it. This is some kind of 'Misa Amane interrogation fantasy, right'?_

You're getting very inventive, M-Kira. But again, I have to ask, why didn't you try this tactic earlier? Perhaps I was wrong, earlier; perhaps Misa really does have that much endurance, and Light has only decided to control her behavior now; he's instructing her to claim ignorance?

 _Do you know why I'm detaining you here? You must have some idea._

 _Misa: What do you mean? Because I'm a celebrity, obviously. But you're definitely the first stalker who's ever gone this far, and you're starting to scare me._

If Light is controlling her actions…is she behaving as Misa would, authentically act in this situation, or just saying what he's told her to say? Based on her history with stalkers, it's easy to imagine that this is, in fact, how Amane would behave; almost as if being stalked and kidnapped is just a daily fact of life for her, unpleasant and terrifying, but to be expected.

Matsuda runs forward and seizes the microphone, before I can stop him.

 _Matsuda: Hey, Amane, no one's buying this, so cut it out!_

Matsuda, you idiot. You can't interfere like that; in future, I'll have to be more cautious, keep him away from interrogations. Misa's response is to shrink in on herself, terrified. Misa Amane, the mass murdering second Kira, is terrified of Matsuda. It's almost funny.

 _Misa: Oh, this is scary. What's going on? I can't stand it anymore. Please let me go. You have to let me go. Ah, I need to go to the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom again, OK?_

 _It's only been 4 minutes since you last went to the bathroom. I'm afraid you'll have to hold it._

We've allowed her sporadic breaks; based on the amount of food and water consumed, humans don't need relief for at least several hours. Misa has never even requested a bathroom break before, the last three days she hasn't said or asked for anything.

 _Misa: Oh, you have to! It's the only time you'll untie me and let me move. Plus, you'd be able to watch. That's what you want, isn't it? You pervert?_

I'm a…pervert?!

Odd to say, but the accusation wounds me. The officers have been looking at me that way, ever since they saw the restraints. But what else was going to keep the second Kira from killing people? How else was I going to stop her from killing me? This is getting us nowhere. We're just going back and forth. Time to refocus. This isn't just about convicting Misa; this is about convicting both Kiras.

 _Amane, let's get back to the conversation we were having before you lost consciousness. First of all, do you know who Light Yagami is? And if so, why did you approach him?_

 _Misa: Huh? What do you mean? How could I not know my own boyfriend?_

She was so tight-lipped about it earlier. Now she's openly admitting he's a boyfriend? What's going on here?

In the midst of my confusion, my phone rings.

 _Good timing. It's Light. Please turn the video and audio off._

Light. I've been waiting for your call. You've taken so long, after our little wager. What's been keeping you? It has only frightened me, your reticence. It can only mean you've been planning something.

 _Hello, Light._

 **Light: Ryuzaki, there's something I need to tell you. Are you with the task force, and my dad, right now?**

 _Yes._

 **Light: I'm not sure how you'll respond to this. But…I've been thinking about it, and the truth is…I could be Kira.**

It's safe to say, that's the absolute last thing I expected to hear. I have no response; I sit in silence, waiting for whatever's going to come next. What are you doing, Light?

 **Light: I need to come meet with the task force. I - I need to tell my dad my fears, in person. Could you maybe not tell them what I said, what I'm calling about, until I get there?**

What do you hope to accomplish by that? There's only one way to find out.

 _Yes, I understand. We'll be expecting you in room K2801._

As I hung up the phone, I caught sight of Yagami's face. It's coming now, that inevitable collision.

 _Yagami: Are you saying my son's coming here?_

Ever since I guessed that Kira could be one of Chief Yagami's children, I've had to consider how he would react when he learned the truth. What are you going to say, Chief Yagami, when Light says to your face that he _could_ be Kira?

Why, in the name of the eleven circles of hell, is Light even admitting that possibility?

 _30 minutes._

Light arrives. I've been running every possible scenario in my head, for what his intention is. He looks upset, distressed; his hair's untidy, which for him is the equivalent of streaking through the park. The task force are all watching him, like an audience waiting for the next line in a very dramatic play.

 **Light: Ryuzaki. Like I said over the phone, I** ** _could_** **be Kira.**

Like a bomb has gone off in the room. I knew he was going to say this, and I still feel surprised. That he's actually saying it out loud. Nearby, I can feel Chief Yagami breaking, as he runs to his son, aghast and horrified.

 _Yagmai: No, Light! What are you talking about? Why would you even say something like that? Why?_

There's no real proof that Light Yagami is Kira, so why come here to announce that you could be Kira? It's an act. There's no 'could be' about it. You are Kira. What do you hope to accomplish by this?

 **Light: Look, dad. If Ryuzaki is L, then it's safe to say that he's the world's best detective, and right now he seems pretty sure that I'm Kira. We know L's never been wrong before.**

He's doing it, again. That gift he has, of voicing my thoughts out loud. I have that feeling that Light is listening in on my private thoughts. I only wish, at this moment, that I had any guess as to his. Behind me, I can tell that Aizawa is convinced of Light's guilt, and Matsuda is baffled, mixed with a little pity. Chief Yagami is pleading with his son, as if he were a man who just heard his own death sentence.

 _Yagami: What? What are you saying, Light? Stop this!_

 **Light: What about that FBI agent, Raye Penber? It was me he was investigating immediately before he died. And I as in Aoyama on May 22nd. Also, I'm the first person in the Kanto region that Misa, the alleged second Kira, approached. It's all been me. If I were in L's place, even I would have come to the same conclusion.**

What are you hoping to gain by this, Light? You're laying it all out, just as I thought; echoing my thoughts, just as we usually do. All those points are exactly what I _did_ think of, as I came to my certain conclusion of your guilt. All those circumstance, those irrefutable proofs of your identity, that you worked so hard to conceal. You tried to hide Penber's death by killing _all_ the agents. You tried act normally in Aoyama. You tried to conceal Misa's connection to you. You've been cautious. Now you're telling us everything.

 **Light: You see, subconsciously, I might be Kira. If that were the case, I could be him and not even know it.**

 _Yagami: No, Light._

I see. So you're not conscious of it at all? That's absolutely ridiculous. Yes, there have been killers in the past who are unaware of their deeds. But those killers are reckless, impulsive, usually somnambulistic. You are calculating, deliberate.

 **Light: I - I'm not sure of anything anymore. I'd never kill someone, but unconsciously, who knows what I'm capable of? Another me could be killing people as I sleep.**

His performance is tremendously convincing. He looks miserable, desperate, like he's truly doubting himself for the very first time and unsure of how to deal with it. He's acting just how Light Yagami _would_ act in this scenario. I can feel the others in the room almost starting to believe him.

 _I'm afraid that's not possible._

 **Light: Huh? Not possible? What do you mean?**

He doesn't look relieved at all. You'd think this declaration would have cheered him up a little, if this wasn't an act.

 _We'll, I've never mentioned this to you, but at one point I had hidden surveillance cameras installed in your room for five days._

 **Light: Cameras?!**

Overdone surprise, Light. You knew they were there. You preened and postured for them.

 _Yes. Every single night, you slept normally. Criminals whose names were being broadcast were still dying, even though you would have had no way of knowing about them. But this didn't prove your innocence to me. All it proved was that if you were Kira, no amount of camera surveillance would reveal that fact._

Light's probably been wondering about this for a long time; why, if I saw his definitive 'evidence' of his innocence, that night with the purse snatcher and the embezzler, did I still suspect him? Well, here's your answer.

 **Light: "Wouldn't reveal that fact", huh? Huh, I don't know. It could be true. I have to admit, I've found myself thinking that some criminals deserve to die. If I can think like Kira, then how can I be sure that I'm not actually him?**

 _Matsuda: Hold on, Light! I feel exactly the same way. I fond myself thinking before that some people would be better off dead. But that still doesn't mean we're gonna go out and kill people? Isn't that right? Besides, criminals were still being killed even while you had no knowledge of them. I mean, the surveillance cameras proved it, didn't they?_

It seems that Matsuda is not on my side anymore. He thinks I'm zeroing in on these people's guilt despite evidence to the contrary. I believe he may have fallen under Light's spell, just like everyone does. Natural, of course. Matsuda is a very pliable person.

 _Aizawl: Well, no. Because we were short of investigators then, we only watched him while he was at home. Truth is, we weren't able to watch him every hour of the day. It's possible he could've found some way to kill those criminals while he wasn't at home._

This was premeditated. It's no accident you chose to do this now. Well, what if we incarcerate you for a while, imprison you like we did Amane? If criminals whose names are made public keep dying, then it would lead us to think that you are innocent, right? Is that how you imagined it? Honestly, I don't like the way this is going at all, but what choice do I have? Let's do it.

 _I need you to fully restrain Light Yagami and place him in solitary confinement._

The second bomb that's gone off in this room in as many minutes. The others react, just as they did before.

 _Yagami: What? You can't!_

 _Matsuda: You want us to confine him, seriously?_

Only Aizawa still understands now. But really, the conversation is between me and Light. The others are like our audience, part of us and yet not a part.

 _If we're gonna do this, then this has to happen immediately. From this point on, you can't be allowed to go anywhere where I can't see you._

 _Yagami: This is crazy! There's no way my son could be Kira. My son's not capable of -_

 **Light: It's OK, dad.**

You're putting your own father through all of this. I wonder if you feel even a little guilt about what you're doing.

 **Light: Listen, something has to be done about this. As long as I'm having these doubts, I can't work with you to catch Kira. But Ryuzaki, promise me this. Until you can say with absolute certainty that I'm not Kira, you cannot set me free, no matter what condition I might be in.**

He's looking at me like his life depends on my answer; like he wants nothing more than to hear me make this vow. I think I know your game, Light. And I am certain you are Kira, and that will not change. So from here on out, I will never set you free.

 _You have my word._

He looks relieved. Pleased. He wanted to hear that. Well, in any case, we're doing this. We have to do it thoroughly.

 _Mr. Yagami, can you come up with some sort of excuse for Light's absence, something to tell your family? And please do it now._

 _Yagami: But this is all so sudden. What should I say? And then, I see no reason why he should be in prison._

You really don't, do you, Chief? He's going to keep protesting; I look to Light, and it's as if a silent communication passes between us. He knows what I need.

 **Light: Let it go, dad. If I don't do this, I won't be able to live with myself.**

 _Yagami: But son, do you really mean that?_

 **Light: Yeah. I believe that by giving up my very freedom, I'll defeat this fear that Kira lurks within me.**

That's just what the chief needs to hear. Light can't have him opposing his plan, and I can't have him opposing mine. For just a moment, our plans coincide; we both want the same thing.

 _Aizawa, please take him away._

 _Day one of Confinement_

Light was blindfolded, handcuffed, and lead away. From here on out, he will have no contact with the outside world. We're holding him in a cell, with his hands bound. He's not tied up like Misa; he can still see, because he needs both a name and a face to kill. He'll be able to use the restroom and shower, under my supervision, at appointed times. I've been more lenient with his confinement, because Light freely offered to be restrained here. I don't have much probable cause, and for the moment he doesn't know my name. I think I know what he intends to do, and most likely he won't be here for long.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, I'd like to request that you take me off this investigation. I've thought about it, and the fact is that we're holding my son Light as a prime suspect. Given that, it's not appropriate for me to be here. When we spoke earlier, my feelings got in the way. It's impossible for me to be objective about this situation._

I'd imagine so. I'm trying, very hard, to be restrained; to not think about that pleasant feeling I get when Light says my thoughts aloud, or how he smiles and comes alive whenever I give him a particularly interesting challenge. I have to think of him as just another suspect.

 _I agree with you. We can't let personal feelings get in the way._

 _Yagami: And in truth, if - if the task force concludes that my son is Kira, I don't know what I'd be capable of._

You would be too disgusted with that truth to continue on in this world. You'd see Light as irrevocably tainted, and yourself as gone wrong for letting him get that way. But you know that much about yourself; you're aware. It's the quality you have that Light so completely lacks. And you're going to ask me to do what I can to restrain you.

 _Yes, I agree with you there. I believe you'd kill your son and then yourself. I also agree that it's best we don't have you working here for now._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki, I will ask that you confine me as woo. At the moment, I'm calm, but to be honest, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take._

I can tell; he's shaking, disturbed. He looks more honestly upset over Light's confinement than Light does. Well, perhaps because he doesn't know, as Light knows, that the confinement will probably be over soon enough.

 _I thought you might say that. So I spoke with Watari. He's made arrangements. But your confinement will be different. You'll keep your cell phone turned on, and maintain regular contact with family and friends. You won't tell Light about this. If he does call you at some point, he must be made to believe that you are still at headquarters. While you are in confinement, we'll be giving you continuous updates on the investigation so you will know what's happening. So how does that sound to you?_

 _Yagami: I'm grateful. Thank you._

 _Wednesday June 2 2004. Day Two of Confinement._

This has not been what I expected.

Logically, Light would only have asked for this in order to clear his name. We'd see him, unable to do anything, while the murders continued.

But since he's been confined, not a single criminal has been killed.

Names and faces have been broadcast today and yesterday, just as usual. But Watari has given me the report. No new deaths since Light's confinement.

 _Thursday June 3, 2004. Day Three of Confinement_

I have three monitors, to keep an eye on full-time.

On one square, M-Kira. Misa Amane. Still pretending to believe I'm some kind of stalker. No progress there.

 _Misa: Hey, mister, I really wanna take a bath. I'm pretty sure you already know where I live, don't you? Could you bring me some clean clothes?_

In square two, Chief Yagami, pacing back and fourth, anxious, desperate for any news to exonerate his son.

 _Aizawa: I didn't think this could get any more bizarre._

 _Matsuda: I feel so sorry for the chief right now._

In square three, Light Yagami. Perfectly still, controlled, tied up except for bathroom and meal breaks. Completely focused and calm at all times.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, talk to me. What's happening? Have any new criminals been identified, anyone that Kira would be likely to target? If so, has he killed any of them?**

 _In fact, quite a few criminals names have been broadcast recently. But since you've been detained, we haven't had one report of a criminal being killed by Kira._

He looks surprised. But not afraid, or nervous, or defiant.

 **Light: Wait, no one's been killed? Really?**

 _Yes._

Is he _smiling?_ That news should be devastating. Or at least worrying.

 **Light: I see. So it's only a matter of time before I'm convicted as Kira.**

What's going on here? I thought the murders would continue even after Light was confined. Instead, they've stopped completely. Light asked to be confined here in the first place. As this continues, it'll only strength the argument that he is Kira. The only question left would be whether or not he was conscious of being Kira. Does he really think that's gonna work? That he'll be left off the hook if he can just prove he wasn't conscious of being Kira? It's not like Light Yagami. No, it's not like Kira.

 _Saturday June 5 2004. Day Five of Confinement_

Screen three. Light Yagami. Calm and indifferent.

 **Light: In the end, I just have to get through this, no matter what.**

Screen one. Misa Amane. Bargaining, patient, frightened.

 _Misa; You know what, Mr. Stalker? Your video won't sell if it's just me sitting here the whole time._

Screen two. Chief Yagami. Dehydrated, frantic, in complete disarray.

 _Mr. Yagami looks pretty bad. I think he's taking this harder than Light or Misa._ They both seem to feel that, regardless of the danger, this situation can be braved out. Chief Yagami is falling to pieces.

 _Matsuda: What do you expect? It's been five days since Light was put in prison. And look, not a single criminal whose name has been broadcast was killed. In these situations, I think the parents must suffer a lot more than the accused._

 _Aizawa: No kidding, especially now that we're seeing proof that Light is Kira._

Yes. It's like Light's trying to get convicted. Chief Yagami…what will he do, if his son is found guilty? I have to do something for him.

 _Mr. Yagami._

 _Yagami: What is it? Is it good news? Is it bad news?_

So desperate. I feel a little guilty for addressing him, but I've got to tell him something, anything.

 _No. I wanted to tell you not to worry so much. It doesn't matter how much time you devote to worrying about this, the outcome will be the same. This could go on for quite some time. Perhaps you should rest in a more comfortable place._

 _Yagami: Impossible! What makes you think I care where I am? It won't change anything! With the state I'm in now, this is the best place for me. And no matter what the result, when I leave here, it's going to be with my son!_

He's yelling straight at the camera, punching it, shouting. I want that for you too, Chief. But it's not going to happen. I should be arresting Light; I should be charging him, officially. But I haven't, not yet. Because I just can't believe Light - Kira - would give up so easily. He's planning something. What are you planning, Light?

 _Monday June 7 2004. Day Seven of Confinement._

I've been watching Light for a week. I've taken breaks to talk to chief Yagami and Misa Amane, but Light has had my full attention, most of the time. He's eternally calm and patient. He looks like he's waiting for something. His gaze is always fixated, as if he can see something we can't, looking ahead to some point in time far away from the here and now. He doesn't even seen human. I've watched him using the restroom, showering, eating, sleeping; I've seen every inch of him. He's very much physically human, but really, it feels like that's just a shell. Light is if possible less human than I am.

Looking at him, tied up, compliant, cooperating with me in every possible way, it's getting harder and harder to suppress my feelings about him. I want, somehow, to make this okay.

 _Light, you've only been here for one week, but I'm sure it can't be easy. Are you feeling all right?_

 **Light: Yeah. I know I must look pretty bad in here, but this useless pride, I suppose I'll have to get rid of it.**

That's an odd thing to say. It reminds me of Misa's words, the strange double conversation she appeared to be having; not the appropriate response at all to what I'd said. I'd asked Light if he was feeling all right; now he's talking about pride?

And now, his expression is changing. He looks horrified, scared; he's looking around himself as if he's not quite sure where he is. Something essential has left him. I have the odd feeling - it's almost as if, all of a sudden, I'm looking at a complete stranger.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, I realize that I was the one pushing for confinement, and I asked you to put me in here. But I just realized something important; this whole thing is completely pointless!**

What?!

What on earth are you talking about, Light? Something feels so very off to me, deeply wrong. Pointless?

 **Light: Because I'm not Kira. You have to get me out of here!**

He looks so desperate, so upset. I remember what he asked of me, when I imprisoned him. 'No matter what I might say'. Now he's changing his tune…I hadn't really expected that to happen, but…

 _I can't do that. I promised you that no matter what you said, I wouldn't let you out until I was convinced that you were not Kira._

He's looking straight at the cameras, straight at me again. I can remember, clearly, those moments in the past between us, when Light seemed to come alive all of a sudden, like the mask of calm he wears was falling away and his passion, that hidden spark of flaming emotion he tries so hard to hold in, was coming out. Now, it's like the mask has imploded, and Light is bearing his feelings for all the world to see.

 **Light: Please, L, I wasn't thinking clearly. Do you really think a serial killer like Kira could commit those crimes without being aware of them? If I have no memory of his crimes, I'm not him!**

This is the first time Light has ever called me by my title - the closest thing I have to a real name - and not my alias.

 _I've never been able to accept the idea that Kira has been acting without self awareness this whole time. But that doesn't change the fact that all the evidence points to you being Kira. Since we imprisoned you, Kira hasn't committed a single murder._

 **Light: Listen. Just hear me out. I swear to you, I'm not wrong. You have to believe me. I'm not Kira! I must have been framed. That's the only explanation for this!**

What's wrong with you, Light Yagami? What you're saying is completely absurd, but for some reason it feels believable to me.

 **Light: You have to let me out, we're wasting time!**

 _I can't let you out yet._

You made me promise. _You,_ Light. Now, you're begging, pleading with me - when have you _ever_ begged before? When have you ever acted desperate? Your claims are ridiculous, and yet you look so devastated…you're a perfectionist, Light. You can't stand to ever make a mistake, now you're admitting that you did? You've _never_ admitted to being wrong, not once, not over a big mistake or a small one.

 **Light: Damn! Why is this happening?**

I've never heard Light swear out loud before. I've never seen him do any of this before. Behind me, Aizawa and Matsuda speculate about Light's guilt or innocence, but I'm too lost in my own thoughts to really listen. I'm just watching Light's face - that face that I've studied, so thoroughly, the past six months. I feel like I could draw his face from memory. In the entire time that I've known him, I've never seen him express as much emotion as he did in the last few minutes.

Just like Misa Amane, Light suddenly changed, out of nowhere. His behavior altered dramatically, as if in response to a conversation with someone I couldn't see. But unlike with Misa, I've known Light for months. This isn't _my_ Light. Something is very, very wrong.

 _Tuesday June 15 2004. Day Fifteen of confinement_

At long, long last, something has finally happened.

Two weeks of watching Misa talk to her stalker, Chief Yagami waste away; one week of watching Light sit, inhumanly calm, and one week of him pleading, begging me to let him out and insisting on his innocence. And no deaths, no more Kira, no messages. For the first time in so long, since November of last year, Kira has been silent.

Until now.

Yesterday, hundreds of criminals died from heart attacks. All the criminals Kira would have killed, in the course of these few weeks, if he'd been active. All at once. As though Kira had been simply biding his time.

The event that I'd expected to happen in the first week, this seemingly definitive proof of Light's innocence, happened at the end of the second. But with Light's change in behavior -

Matsuda informed Chief Yagami. A relief, a true and overwhelming relief, showed in his face.

 _Yagami: Then, that means, my son - I shouldn't be happy that people have been killed, but at least Light's name will finally be cleared. Wait. Knowing Ryuzaki, this won't be enough to clear him._

You're really a very wonderful man, Chief Yagami. Even with so much pain of your own, you still find time to worry about the people who have died. Best to throw him a bone.

 _Well, he's in the gray._

They're all so relieved and happy. My saying this, to them, it's as good as saying 'he's innocent'. And perhaps dangerous to say. Too close to an admission.

 _Matsuda: Let's tell Light!_

I had to slap his hand away from the communicator.

 _Matsuda! I mean, please don't, Mr. Matsuda._

It's the first time I've called him by his real name, for a long time. I'm used to using his alias. But in the moment, my fear that he would muck things up got the better of me.

 _We shouldn't tell him about this._

If this was Light's plan, then I need to counterattack. I was prepared for this eventuality. Light put himself in my power, after all; he assumed that I would let him know when his plan came to pass. Perhaps he intended it to start after one week, and that would explain his change in behavior, when nothing altered? My intention was always to lie, when the killings stopped and apparently set Light free.

 _Hello, Light._

 **Light: What is it, Ryuzaki?**

He looks so exhausted. But every time he hears my voice, he grabs it like a lifeline. Another chance to convince me.

 _You've been in here just over two weeks, and not a single new criminal has been punished. Now, why make this harder than it has to be? Are you ready to confess?_

I'd expected him to be upset, annoyed, frustrated that his plan wasn't going like he wanted. But instead, he's defiant.

 **Light: Don't be ridiculous. I'm telling you, you're wrong. I understand why you feel that way, but even if the evidence does point to me, I swear to you this is a setup. I am not Kira! Zoom in on me if you want. Go ahead. Look in my eyes. You tell me, do these look like the eyes of someone who is lying?**

I do, indeed, look into Light's eyes, as deeply as I can. Up until one week ago, I found it remarkable how little emotion showed in those eyes, how still they always were. They're like the eyes of a snake, really, or some kind of animal. Not quite human, except in those rare moments when I seemed to detect something, the slightest glimmer of life. Now, this last week, they've been filled with emotion. Now, he's looking at me, and asking me to look at him. Light, guarded, measured, reticent Light Yagami, is asking me to somehow know he's innocent, just by gazing into his eyes.

I don't know how to respond. What can I even say to him? I'm so tempted to look at his evidence, his passion, to tell him that the killings have resumed, but I can't risk it. To distract myself, I turn to Amane.

 _Amane. Are you ready to tell me who Kira is or not?_

 _Misa: Huh, that again? I wish I knew, but I don't. Because if I did, I'd thank him for punishing the burglar who killed my parents. To me, Kira is a hero._

I don't understand what's going on here.

Misa is admitting now that she sees Kira as a hero. Light turned himself in and brought up all the evidence that tells against him. In my experience, criminals do not wish to be caught. Kira does not wish to be caught. So why - _why_ \- have both Kiras willingly testified against themselves?

I've watched them, both of them, for two weeks; I've been watching them for so long. I know that Light and Misa are Kira; L-Kira and M-Kira, quite fittingly. But why have they changed, so suddenly? Why did Amane go from saying nothing, enduring her torture without a word, to protesting endlessly to her 'stalker'?

And Light, Light, you are the most baffling of all. Everything in your behavior up until last week made sense to me. You acted, always, to preserve yourself, both your life and your self-image of perfection. Your moves as Kira were all calculated and held a secret purpose, and everything about you fit in together. Even when something initially didn't seem to add up, soon enough that piece fell into place, just like the rest. And now?

Now, it's like you're a different person. Like someone flipped a switch, and the Light I knew so well is dead and gone, replaced by this strange person - this pleading, emotional, defiant stranger, who looks up at me wearing Light's face and clothes, but wearing them all wrong, somehow. Where is _my_ Light? What's happened to _my_ Kira?


	16. Chapter 16

_Tuesday July 20 2004._ 50th day of Confinement

For someone like me, stagnancy is one of the worst possible states.

I have been waiting, for months, for this moment, and the process of waiting is worst of it. Just waiting for someone to break. For the anvil to drop.

Screen #2. Day 50. Chief Soichiro Yagami, age 49. Drained and exhausted. He's in so much pain. It's honestly hard to watch. Just nine months ago, he was the upright and honorable lead detective of Kanto, Japan. Now, he's been away from his home and family for nearly two months; his participation in the Kira case is killing his career, and probably his health.

 _Mr. Yagami, are you all right? There's no reason for you to keep doing this to yourself._

 _Yagami: It's been over a month since Kira started killing criminals again. And as far as I'm concerned, that's all the proof I need to be sure that my son isn't Kira. So then all that is left is for you to be sure. One way or another, when I get out of here, it will be with my son._

He's said that, almost every day, like a survival mantra. Like that statement, that hope, is the only thing keeping him going.

Screen #3. Light Yagami, age 18. Lying on the floor, defeated, tired, depressed. But never angry at me, throughout all of his protestations of his own innocence. Always speaking to me like he hopes I will be convinced. And like he's in pain.

 _Light, how are you feeling right now?_

 **Light: Ah, I'm OK. Ryuzaki, I know that in the time I've been in prison, no new criminals have died. However, that suggests to me that Kira must be someone who's intimately familiar with my situation. And if that's the case -**

This again. And again. And again. For forty three days, Light and I have spoken quite a lot. When the other task force members aren't here, we talk about many things. I always keep us back to the main subject, but I find that it's best to keep people talking about themselves, and they'll eventually reveal things they don't want you to know. Light is so eager to talk to me, to be as honest as possible, that I've learned every last detail of his life, it seems. From how he felt about high school, to what he feels for Misa Amane, to his opinions on the justice system. He's so perfect as Kira. Such a brilliant mind, yet this strange charade? This insane theory he keeps returning to.

 _No, Light. The reason criminals have stopped dying is because you are Kira._

 **Light: No! I'm not Kira! How many times do I have to say it?**

If Light were Kira, he'd know that I was bluffing, so why is he getting so upset? He honestly seems clueless. Behind me, Aizawa and Matsuda have drifted further and further away as the days go by, Kira continues to kill, and no progress is made with the case. I can feel something about to break in Aizawa, so I turn off the audio.

 _Aizawa: This is just cruel. I don't care if he is a suspect. Light still has the right to know that criminals are being killed again._

Screen #1. Misa Amane. Drained and despairing, not even able to hold her head up anymore, after all this time. Slowly getting more and more exhausted, bitter, and miserable; over fifty days, she's pleaded with her stalker each and every chance she got. It's like she's given up - after she was so willing to hold up under torture.

 _Amane._

 _Misa: Yes._

 _Are you OK? You seem tired._

She sleeps in fits and jumps, but regularly.

 _Misa: Is that supposed to be funny? How are you expecting me to look after being tied up and questioned for this many days?_

 _Hm, that's true._

I'm beginning to wonder if M-Kira thinks like me as well. I didn't notice it at first, because M-Kira (Misa) seems so apposite to me in every way. But she can be just as logical and straightforward as I am when she needs to be.

 _Misa: Please, just let me go. I want to see Light. Please, Light. Let me._

 _Matsuda: I'm not sure how much more of this the three of them can take._

50 days. I'm growing frustrated, more and more with each passing day with no progress. And it's getting harder and harder not to feel pity for my two suspects. I have to remind myself, every day, that Light and Misa have killed hundreds of people, including Naomi Misora and Ukita. But they're still human beings. They're murderers. They're dangerous. And Misa could kill me any time she wanted.

 _Aizawa: Ryuazki, you have no reason to keep Light locked up anymore. Do the right thing, and let him go. Then we can get the chief out, too. Criminals are still being killed, even though Misa and Light haven't had any access to that information. We know that much already, so what are you waiting for?_

 _Not true. All we really know at this point is that Amane harbors an unnaturally strong devotion for Light Yagami._

She speaks about him so much. Light is so wonderful and perfect and amazing. She worships the ground he walks on; she only want to see him, one more time. She asks him to save her. Nicknames him her knight in shining armor. I try to reconcile this image with the Light Yagami I know. It's impossible.

 _Aizawl: Ryuzai, I'm sorry, but with all due respect, from where I'm standing, it's starting to look like you are only doing this because you don't want to admit that you we're wrong about Light._

 _Yes, I figured you'd say that._

Aizawa is lost to me too. He no longer sees the necessity; he no longer believes that Light is Kira. And he's still going. I can hear him getting angrier and angrier behind me.

 _Aizawa: OK, fine. But we do know that Kira killed Lind L Tailor and those FBI agents, right? As Light said, if Kira could kill while under surveillance and without access to information, there would've been no need. If they didn't pose a threat to him, then why would he bother killing him. Kira doesn't kill without good reason. I've heard you say so yourself on more than one occaision._

From Kira's perspective, he had an excellent reason. To humiliate me. To stop L from finding him. To punish anyone who tries to stop him, to get in his way.

 _Aizawa: It's already been 50 days. There's no point to this anymore. Ryuzaki, it's time to start looking for the real Kira._

 _Yes, I understand._

I have been thinking, and I believe I have a way to make sure. Aizawa is wrong about my motivation. The truth is, I'm doing this because I'm scared. Because Misa Amane is the second Kira, and she knows my face, and she can kill me at any time, and she will kill me at any time if I try to prosecute Light. Because Light will ask her, the second he gets a chance, what my name is, so he can eliminate me, whatever act he's playing now.

There's only one way to be sure. One way to guarantee my safety.

 _Mr. Yagami._

 _Yagami: Yes, what is it?_

 _Would you be willing to come to headquarters, just once? I'd like to discuss my thoughts with you, but it most be done in person. However, above all else, I need to talk to you as Light's father._

I wonder if Chief Yagami will agree. There's always the possibility that the threat of losing his own life will motivate him otherwise, but really, just like Amane, I don't think the chief really cares about his own survival anymore.

It's time, Light. To see how far you and Misa are willing to take this charade.

 _Friday July 23 2004_

Chief Yagami, you will drive Misa Amane to the meeting place.

Misa, handcuffed in the backseat of Mr. Yagami's car, is studying him. She wants to see who he is, what kind of man her 'stalker' really was.

 _Misa: Honestly, all this time, I've never pictured you as an old man, Mr. Stalker._

 _Yagami: I'm not your stalker. I'm a detective with the NPA._

So Amane, are you like Light? Will you arrange to kill off anyone who tries to oppose you? You're seeing his face and name now.

 _What? Hey, wait. I remember now. You told me I was being arrested for being the second Kira. You mean that was for real? No, you're a stalker. There's no way that the police would blindfold me and tie me up all fetishy like that. Anyways, it's kinda weird that you have my hands and feet tied up, even though you're planning to let me go._

She's not looking above his head, like she looked above mine. She hasn't once looked for his name, not since she had her blindfold taken off. Her conclusions are not entirely illogical; I suppose my methods do differ from traditional police work.

Aizawa, you will escort Light to the same spot.

Light asked no questions. He allowed himself to be escorted. I could see the gears in his head turning, the whole car ride, trying to figure it out.

Misa and Light, meeting again for the first time in fifty-three days.

 _Misa: Oh, Light!_

 **Light: Misa?**

 _Light: Oh, I missed you so much, Light!_

She's come alive again. Her 'savior' is here. Light only has eyes for his father.

 **Light: Dad, tell me, what's this all about?**

 _Misa: He's your dad? Oh my god, I totally called your dad a stalker, and said he was old and all kinds of other rude things! Pleased to meet you, my name is Misa Amane. I'm Light's girlfriend and I'd like to -_

Your a little too late to make a good first impression, Misa. I don't think the Chief would be too pleased at the idea of you dating his son, even if you weren't a murder suspect.

 _Yagami: Let's go. Get in the car._

Mr. Yagami, you will then drive Light and Misa to a remote location.

In the back seat of our selected car, Light and Misa, both handcuffed, side by side. Misa with an unobstructed view of Chief Yagami's face. If you die, Chief Yagami, I will ensure that they are both properly punished.

 **Light: I was starting to think I'd never get out of there. But it feels good to finally be cleared.**

 _Yagami: No. I'm afraid you two are being taken to your execution_

Light and Misa, both horrified, crying out in fear. This wasn't part of your plan, was it, Light? You're out of control, you have no idea what's going on.

 **Light: Execution? What the hell are you talking about?**

 _Misa: What? Is this a joke?_

Mostly, I'm watching Misa. Misa Amane. You're the key to the whole thing. If you kill Chief Yagami here and now, I'll be able to see Kira's power, in action.

 _Yagami: L is convinced that you are Kira, Light, and that Misa Amane is the second Kira. He is convinced that the only way we can prevent the murder is to execute the two of you._

Perhaps I _should_ have done this from the beginning. I'm almost ashamed that it took me so long to come up with this plan, and to decide on it. But then again, would Chief Yagami have agreed to this if we hadn't pushed him so far, for so many days?

 **Light: I don't understand. The killings have already stopped.**

 _Yagami: No. They never stopped._

Light's expression changes - from horror to betrayal. He's been lied to; he looks devastated. You're a very good actor, Light, but you have no reason to doubt what you're hearing. I wonder - if you survive, will you ever trust a word I say to you again?

 **Light: They never? That's not what he told me, so he was lying?**

 _Yagami: L was trying to get a confession out of you, Light. He would've said anything. But at this point that's not the problem. It's political now. You see, L's suggestion that the killings would stop if you two were eliminated was unanimously accepted but top officials of the uN and the Japanese government. They want Kira to disappear. No trial. No publicity._

Kira's just a big enough sensation that this story may be plausible. I added the UN official bit in for Light. It will appeal to his vanity, in a twisted way. You're doing wonderfully, Chief. I can see where Light gets his acting skills.

 **Light: But that's completely insane. Please, dad, I'm not Kira!**

Don't break, Chief. He's very persuasive, and he can elicit a great deal of sympathy. I know he's your own son, but -

 _Misa: That's right! What kind of father are you, anyway? This is your own son you're talking about!_

Mane is growing increasingly vehement, hateful, and determined. But she's not taking action. Keep the facade, Mr. Yagami. If they start to suspect anything's off…but this is exactly how Chief Yagami _would_ behave in this situation, really. Direct, matter-of-fact, and furious. It's convincing enough - I believe Light's buying it. And Amane has no prior acquaintance with him, no reason to doubt. She's negotiating right now, the same way she's negotiated with her 'stalker' for months.

 _Yagami: L made this decision, not me. And his word is absolute. Over the years, he's tackled the most difficult cases, solving all of them. He's never been wrong._

No, I have not. I have solved every case I have ever worked. I have no intention of letting you win this one, Light. I will do whatever is necessary.

 **Light: You trust L more than you trust me, your own son?**

The Light I used to know - before that change, before the end of the first week - he would have tried to use logic and persuasion, to play on the person's weaknesses. Perhaps claimed to be Kira and that he would kill Chief Yagami if they weren't released. This Light asks people to trust him, appeals to their emotions, honestly expects to be believed.

 _Yagami: L went so far as to stake his life on this theory. If the killings don't stop, then he too will be executed._

 **Light: Huh? L said that? What could he be thinking? I know that, given the material evidence, this might seem like the only logical solution. But he's making a mistake! How could L come to this conclusion? Something's not right here. It's just - it's not like L at all. The L I know would rely on hard evidence. He has to have the truth. Is he really planning to end it like this?**

Light, you know me too well. After all this time, all our conversations, with only me for company the last two months - no, even before then, Light's sense of my inner thoughts was uncanny. He knows me too well. That knowledge might break the charade. He's absolutely right; the scenario I'm posing isn't something I'd never do. And for Kira's vanity, to end our little game of cat and mouse in such a prosaic and impersonal way wouldn't be fitting. If Light sees through the charade - if he figures it out, what will he do?

After explaining their 'sentence', you will pull the car over to a remote spot, just far enough out of the way so that you won't be overheard. Stop the car - make sure you're not in control of the vehicle. If Amane hasn't killed you already.

 **Light: Where are we right now? Why did you bring us out to the middle of nowhere? What is this?**

 _Misa: Wait a sec. I bet he brought us here to let us go._

Ever the optimist, Misa. You seem eternally convinced that things will get better, no matter how bleak the situation. It took so long to break you, and the moment you were set free you became just like you were before. You have the ability to kill me. In Chief Yagami's statement, he explained my guilt. But Misa doesn't know that Ryuuga and L are the same person. Unless Light tells her. If he tells her, I'm dead; they'll be convicted if I die, but I'll still be gone…

 _Yagami: This will do. Looks like there's nobody around to see us out here. I've decided it would be better for us if I brought you here instead of the execution site. Listen to me. I'm going to kill you here and then kill myself._

This is what I imagined Chief Yagami _would_ do, if Light was convicted. If Light knows his father, he'll believe this. Mr. Yagami would blame himself for Kira's actions - no, he _does,_ he _will_ blame himself for Kira's actions, _when_ it is proven to him, positively, that Light is guilty. And he would see this as the only way to right past wrongs. To kill the killer, yes, but also the man responsible.

 **Light: What? What are you talking about, dad? You can't, that's crazy!**

 _Misa: You'd kill your own son for L? If you wanna die so bad, why don't you kill yourself? If you do this, you're no different than Kira!_

But you worship Kira, don't you, Amane? In your eyes, he's a hero. Ah, but that's not what Chief Yagami thinks, is it? You're quite adaptable. You're going to keep trying to talk your way out of this - but when it comes down to it, you'll act.

 _Yagami: I am nothing like Kira. I am bound by my responsibilities as a parent and as the chief of the NPA._

 **Light: Dad, come on! She's right! Think about it, if we die here, the truth will never be revealed! Please, dad, you have to let us escape!**

They're both still pleading. Appealing to the Chief's sense of justice, trying to bring up logical conclusions, any way to get out of it. This isn't like Kira at all. Kira killed FBI agents who were following him, killed Lind L Tailor for calling him evil; kills criminals daily just for polluting his perfect world. He acts immediately to get rid of every obstacle in his path. But Light and Misa…

 _Yagami: It's too late. Either way, you will be executed. At least with this, I will be the one to do it._

 **Light: Please stop, dad. I'm not Kira! If I die here, Kira wins. Can't you see?**

He's actually crying. He looks so young, so helpless. **I know what you mean. The two of us have a lot in common. We should play tennis again, sometime.** My friend, my enemy. I don't know what to think or feel. Pity? Fear?

 _Yagami: Amane, I'm going to die here with my son, but I have no reason to kill you. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's only a matter of time before the police locate this car. Then they'll transport you to the original site, and execute you there._

Amane looks terrified, but not for herself. Never for herself. She only fears Light's death. If she lost him - when she loses him - she will have no more will to live. I can see that clearly. So what are you going to do, Amane? You won't live without Light. You'll do anything to save his life. The clock is ticking. The gun is cocked, straight in Light's face. And he's crying, and she's in tears, and they're both terrified.

 _Yagami: Light, my son. From one murderer to another, I'll see you in hell._

 **Light: No, dad!**

 _Misa: No, stop it!_

The gun fires.

For the first time in months, I feel my muscles untense.

Mr. Yagami is still alive. Light and Misa look frightened but confused. And Mr. Yagami is still alive, and I'm still alive.

 **Light: You - used a blank?**

 _Yagami: Oh, thank goodness._

I can feel his relief, and my own. Our little experiment has paid off. My life is safe, for the time being. I'm not sure what I expected, really. I honestly almost expected that Chief Yagami would die.

 **Light: Thank goodness? What's going on? I don't understand.**

So you _didn't_ see through the charade, Light. Good.

 _Yagmai: Please, forgive me, you two. I know that was hard on you, but it was the only way I could get you out of prison. You must understand. I only agreed to do this because I believe in your innocence, Light. Were you watching, Ryuzaki? I did exactly as you said, and as you can see, I'm still alive._

Light follows his father's gaze and once again looks directly at me, through the surveillance camera behind the mirror. I can see him, hardly daring to believe it, hopeful for the first time in months. I can see him craving an explanation; I'd best give it to him, before he puts it together on his own. Logically, then, putting the pieces together, from the top.

 _Yes. It was a convincing performance. If Amane were the second Kira, who only needs to see a person's face to kill them, there's no doubt she would have killed you before you had a chance to fire your weapon. Also, if Light was in fact Kira, the Kira I know wouldn't hesitate to kill even his own father to save himself. With Light, in particular, I cannot rule out the possibility that he may have seen through our act at some point. However, as we agreed, I will end their confinement immediately. And as we discussed, Amane will remain under surveillance, until Kira is apprehended. Although she insists the tapes we found were just occult videos, the physical evidence we have, plus her confession, suggest otherwise._

 _Misa: Hey, no fair! You still suspect me?_

Amane looks angry, rather than relieved. I haven't disguised or distorted my voice to communicate, in order to let Light know that I really am speaking as L. And Amane did hear me speak - but it's been so long, she probably doesn't even remember. Light never had the chance to tell her who I was, so meeting me wouldn't stick out to her.

 _Yagami: If I were you, I wouldn't complain. You get to go back to your normal life. If you are innocent, the surveillance shouldn't be a threat to you. Think of it as complimentary police protection._

That's a nice way of putting it, I suppose. It will appeal to Amane's childish mindset.

 _Misa: Oh, I get it. Since I'm not the second Kira, it'll be kinda like having my very own bodyguards._

She seems to like that idea. Why shouldn't she, really? Amane has been involved in so many stalking and attempted murder incidents, that should would probably appreciate having the police around at all times. She may have been drawn to Kira, to the idea of having him as her boyfriend/knight in shining armor, for this same reason. Someone to watch over her, to make all of her problems go away and keep her safe. I look down at Light; sitting there, bound and tired, so young and so desperate, I find it hard to imagine him the way Amane does.

 _As for your part in this agreement, Light, you and I will be together 24/7, and that's how we'll remain until we've brought Kira to justice._

I need to make sure you have no chance to tell Misa who I am. As I say this, Light looks…happy. He smiles, like the thought of working together every day is exactly what he wanted. I'd honestly expected a little resistance.

 **Light: Fine by me. We'll catch Kira together.**

 _Yes. I look forward to working with you._

I do, really. For whatever reason - for the moment, it seems, Light's goals and mine seem to be one. He wants to work by my side, to catch criminals and solve cases. My best friend, my worst enemy, all rolled into one.

 _Nighttime._

Light and Misa remained under my surveillance the entire drive home. Light talked to me, asking for intel on the case. We spoke to each other much as we used to, back when we were working on the Kira case together; he echoed my thoughts, I agreed. Amane seemed to get very annoyed as Light ignored her the entire drive back to the hotel, interjecting whenever she could.

To ensure that I never lose sight of Light, I have decided that we will be handcuffed together. It won't be easy; I've never found the idea of being physically together with another person for an extended length of time very pleasant, and I suspect that Light doesn't either. But it's the only way to make sure. And if I have to be cuffed to anyone, really, I'd rather it was Light.

 **Light: Are you sure this is necessary, Ryuzaki?**

 _This is as difficult for me as it is for you._

Watari made the handcuffs, and we put them on, together. They extend about six feet. Wide enough to be comfortable, but too close for Light to ever slip out of my observation.

 _Misa: So this is what you meant by being together 24 hours a day with him?_

She recognized me when we arrived; she was surprised to learn that I was L, but recovered from that shock very quickly. I'm rather surprised that neither one seems angry at their imprisonment, for so long, after Kira resumed his killing. You'd think they'd be angrier with me.

 _Miss: Looking at you, I never would have guessed. Are you on that side of the fence, Ryuzaki?_

 _I told you, I'm not doing this because I want to, OK?_

The truth is, I'm not on either side of any fence. But I don't plan to tell that to M-Kira.

 _Misa: But Light belongs to me. I don't wanna share him with you. If you're together with him 24-7, then how are we supposed to go on dates together?_

 _Oh, you can still go on dates. But it'll have to be the three of us._

Don't think I'm going to let the two of you out of my sight. I'm not giving you a chance to give Misa the kill order on me, Light. No matter what happens.

 _Misa: No way! Are you telling me we have to kiss in front of you and stuff?_

 _I'm not telling you to do anything, but yes, I suppose I'll be watching._

She's so desperate, so angry; it's really starting to get grating. There's so much more to this case, Misa Amane, than your love life. So many people are dying, are dead, and all you can think of is your own desire.

 _Misa: That's so gross. You really are a pervert, aren't you?_

That accusation, again. It shouldn't sting me, but it does. I find myself reaching to Light for something, anything. I have only to request, and he responds.

 _Light, please make Misa stop talking now._

 **Light: Listen Misa. That's enough. The police have already established that it was you who sent those tapes. So you're lucky to even be here right now. They have every right to keep you in prison.**

Thank you, Light. You may be the only person here who doesn't think I'm despicable. The rest of the Task force, Misa Amane, they can say whatever they like about me. You understand, really. Because you are Kira, of course. Interestingly enough, even at Light's demand that she cease, Misa doesn't cease.

 _Miss: How could you even say that, Light? In case you forgot, I'm your girlfriend. Don't you trust your own soulmate?_

 **Light: Eh? What do you mean 'soulmate'? You're the one who said you fell in love with me at first sight, Misa.**

We've been discussing this grand romance, Light and I, Amane and I, in our communications. I've asked for all the particulars, every detail. And of course, asking so many questions about their love life only leads the task force to look at me more and more like I have some voyeuristic interest in the passions of two teenagers. But really, it's just practical.

 _Miss: So why did you kiss me, if you didn't have feelings for me? You took advantage of me? Stupid, stupid -_

She starts punching him; her hands are so small that he doesn't seem to even feel the impact. He stares down at her, bemused, as though he has no response at all. Then at me, as if pleading - L, please make Misa stop talking now. I oblige him.

 _About this love at first sight, it happened on Aoyama on May 22nd, didn't it?_

 _Misa: So what?_

She's confirmed this date, again and again; the day she met her soulmate, of course, she'll remember it forever, why wouldn't she? She gets very excited talking about her love for Light, it's the only thing she really holds passion for.

 _Why did you choose that day to go to Aoyama? And do you remember what you wore?_

 _It's like I told you. I just happened to go there. I don't know why. I don't remember how I felt and I don't even know what I was wearing. Anyway, since when do I need a reason to hang out in Aoyama, huh?_

If you'd let me know how you were dressed - what disguise you wore, to duck our surveillance cameras…I've gone over the footage, and I still can't seem to find her. She's not exactly inconspicuous.

 _And somehow, when you came back from Aoyama, you knew that you were in love with some guy and that his name was Light._

 _Misa: Yes!_

It's the most implausible story I've ever heard. And I've spent the last two months listening to quite a few of them. Amane talks like a cliched romance novel.

 _And yet you yourself have no idea how you came to know his name._

 _Misa: Yeah, so what?_

M-Kira went there to learn L-Kira's identity. You're not exactly hiding, M-Kira. But why is L-Kira not trying to stop you?

 _Tell me, if Light was Kira, how would that make you feel?_

I'm very close to her now, examining her reaction as intimately as possible. It's not really necessary, like it was with Light. You could register Misa's emotions from across a crowded stadium. But perhaps, if this is an act, she'll register something.

 _Misa: How would I feel if Light was Kira? Oh, that'd be wonderful. I mean, I've always been grateful to Kira for pushing the man who murdered my parents. So If I found out that Light was actually Kira, that would be like a bonus for me. If anything, that would make me love him even more, even though that's like practically impossible for me to love him more than I already do._

 _It's Kira, though. You'd love him even more for that? I mean, wouldn't you be afraid? What if he tried to kill you?_

You're so obvious and painfully honest, M-Kira. You're not afraid for yourself at all; for your own life, you'd throw that life away. I don't have to try very hard to read you, and if anything that's even more frustrating. Because I know you must be lying, a little, and yet…

 _Misa: You're talking about Light being Kira? He wouldn't be scary at all. I'm a supporter of Kira, so If I found out my Light was actually him, I'd think of how I could be helpful._

 _That's very generous of you, but I'm pretty sure Kira doesn't need your help. Well, Misa, based on what you've just told me, there can be no mistake that you are the second Kira. But you've made it so painfully obvious that I don't really want to believe it._

It's too easy. It's like being handed a confession on a silver platter. She's never been cautious, she's never obfuscated. She's M-Kira, she knows how to kill me; she could kill me any time she wanted. And yet…

 _Misa: Whatever. It's not believable because I'm not the second Kira, OK?_

 _Anyway, for the time being, you'll remain under surveillance. When you do go out, if need be, you'll be able to contact us using this room's extension. For the most part, your life will return to normal. But from now on, for all private and work-related affairs, Mr. Matsuda will be accompanying you as your new manager, Matsui._

No need to use fake names around M-Kira. She can see Matsuda's real name just by looking at him. I chose Matsuda because, again, he's the task force member who can best blend into the crowd, who would look natural hanging around Misa Amane.

 _Your MC is being paid to keep this quiet, and the police don't know. Don't blow his cover._

Amane and Matsuda begin to dispute about the arrangement; Amane finds him too old, he protests. Soon enough, Aizawa blows up and reprimands them, like he was their father, telling Amane to go to her room. The mood in the headquarters is so bizarre; it's like we've suddenly turned into a sitcom family. Like Chief Yagami and Aizawa are the parents, gruff and responsible. Like Misa and Matsuda are the troublemaking kids, making noise, getting up to wild shenanigans. Like Light and I are the calm, responsible kids, watching all of this chaos and finding it distasteful. I've never had so many people around me.

 _Misa: Hey, Light, Let's go on a date, even if it is the three of us!_

She's gone now. We have the ability to keep her under surveillance, but somehow, I don't think she's going to kill me the instant she's out of the room. She may be impulsive, but she's not stupid. We need to get her to talk, to confess and make a deal. And there's only one person who can really control Misa.

 _So, Light, are you serious about her?_

 **Light: No way. Like I told you earlier, it's completely one-sided.**

He looks calm and composed, now that Misa's out of the room. He's reassuring me, like I'm his best friend who needs assurance that no woman will ever come between us. Do you really see me that way, Kira? If you do, how far would you be willing to go?

 _Then, could you at least pretend to be serious for the sake of the investigation? There are two things I know about Amane for sure. One, that she's involved in this, and two, that she's in love with you._

 **Light: You want me to become intimate with her to gather information about the second Kira?**

He looks surprised, really, as though such a strategy had never occurred to him. I can feel the tug of the handcuffs, tying us together, binding our fates in one.

 _Yes. I think you could do it without arousing her suspicions. And Amane would definitely be a valuable source of information for us. Not to mention, this is the main reason why I agreed to release the two of you._

I was getting nowhere with the confinement. This arrangement would be ideal; Light, manipulative, clever, strategic Light, who can pretend anything and hold up any facade, working against himself to convince M-Kira to confess.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, as much as I wanna help you, and as important as the Kira case is to me, I can't manipulate a woman's feelings like that. Please try to understand. To me, exploiting another person's feelings of personal pain is unforgivable. And I won't allow myself to stop that low.**

There's something wrong with this picture. It's as if he's a different person now. Is it possible that this is an act? If this is genuine, it not only implies that Amane was being controlled by Kira, but Light Yagami too.

And if that's the case - if somehow, Kira is controlling them both, like I guessed when Amane's manner changed, or if Kira has been controlling them the whole time. Kira can control actions before death; does the person always die? Are Light and Misa's days numbered, are they really just pawns in all of this?

 **Light: What's wrong, Ryuzaki?**

He sounds so genuinely concerned. He's looking at me like a friend, like someone who cares whether I'm happy or sad, whether I live or die, who wants more than anything for me to trust him.

 _Um, nothing. I suppose you're right after all. However, considering Misa will have a lot of contact with the public, it would be helpful if you could make sure she doesn't leak information._

 **Light: By the way, do you think we could come up with some kind of alternative to the system of moving from hotel to hotel every few days?**

And with that, we've fallen back into our rhythm. Light seems to voice aloud my thoughts; I explain, he agrees, I agree with him. We're very agreeable. It's time to tell him just how far I'm willing to go.

 _Yes. In fact, I had that very same thought some time ago, and so, I arranged for a facility to be built. Construction started right after my first meeting with Mr. Yagami and the others. It should be finished in a few days._

I show them the design plans, the construction models. They're all impressed, Light just as much as any of them.

 _23 floors above ground and 2 below. Although ti's impossible to see from the outside, there are two helicopters hidden on the roof._

I've been planning this building for so long. I've never gone this far before, but for the Kira case…once those agents died, once I realized just how much we were risking, how important this case was to me, I knew that I would have to establish some kind of permanent base in Japan. A location that will allow me to fight Kira with everything I've got, with every resource Wammy's house can throw at him.

That day, January 1st, when I determined there were police in Japan that I could trust, I set Watari to work. He's really outdone himself this time; he wants to see Kira apprehended as much as I do. As the case altered, I've found myself trying to speculate on what life at this new headquarters would be like. When it was the original group, I'd started thinking up room designs. What sort of room would Chief Yagami prefer to work out of? How much security would be too much for Matsuda to remember?

Then, when Light joined the task force - what would he want to see? What sort of room design would appeal to him? Have I added enough computer space and file storage room here? I could hear Light in my head, like a perfectionistic nagging conscience, reminding me of something I'd forgotten to add on the fifth floor. 'You're trying to catch Kira, everything has to be perfect.'

 **Light (** the real Light, watching and listening to my plans): **That's amazing.**

 _Ideally, I want all of us to spend as much time here as possible. If the investigation team grows, we can accommodate up to 60 people. Misa shouldn't have any complaints, since she'll have her own floor._

I added that touch recently, not long after Amane was incarcerated. It's fitted out to her needs and likes; bright, lots of soft furniture, and surveillance cameras in every room to prevent her from killing me without my knowledge.

 **Light: This is truly impressive, for you to go to such a length!**

 _Matsuda: Hold on a second. Where did you find the finances to build this thing?_

If I told you that, you'd know who Watari was. And I have no intention of revealing any personal details about Watari in front of Light; since I won't be out of Light's company until I find certain proof of his guilt, you'll just have to wait.

 _As you can see, it is my intention to solve this case no matter what it takes. That's how it is._

 _Aizawa: I'm sorry, but how is that an answer?_

He's grown increasingly belligerent and suspicious towards me over time. I wouldn't be surprised if he loses his patience with my methods soon enough. Still, I don't appreciate being questioned; I've gone so far out of my way, what does it matter how I got the money? The important thing is Kira's actions, the murders, the -

 **Light: No, he's right. The mass killings are and enough already, but personally, I'll never forgive Kira for putting my dad and I through this. I wanna solve this no matter what it takes.**

Thank you, Light. Again, you come to my rescue. I can almost start to see you, as Misa sees you; perhaps you are, in a way, a rescuer, just not in the sense that Amane believes.

 _If you are serious about that, you should try to get close to Misa and find out about the second Kira._

But of course, you can't do that, can you Light? She might reveal something about you, about the instructions you gave her when the two of you met, about how she could kill me.

 **Light: I can't. That goes against my principles.**

 _Right, you said that._

What a shame. Well, we're going to be together 24/7. Perhaps I'll wear you down, eventually.

 _Aizawa: Ryuzaki, Chief Yagami, Light. Let's get out there and bring Kira to justice._

 _Matsuda: Excuse me, I can't help but notice you missed my name._

There's that feeling, again. Like we're some sort of dysfunctional sitcom family, the type that has severe arguments and then makes up at the end of every episode. There's such a strange, warm feeling in the room. An optimism, a sense of progress, that we've been lacking for months. But that pleasure doesn't quite reach me.

I should be pleased, really. We're finally moving forward, moving into the task force headquarters. As I'm reflecting, Light and I have moved into our new room - the bedroom we're going to have to share, for as long as it takes to solve this case. I'm handcuffed to Kira, six feet from Kira, _living with Kira._ I can't feel particularly happy about this, can I? Logically, I'm in danger every moment.

But working with Light, somehow…the possibilities are endless. Light, who is brilliant, and determined, and believes in absolute justice like I do, who thinks like me and has defended my actions to the task force at every turn. Light, my best friend and worst enemy. Now my roommate.

We stayed up, late into the night, discussing the case, entertaining theories, going over evidence. We're back in our pattern, the way we used to be before Aoyama, before Misa. Light finally fell asleep, quite early in the morning; his sleep is unobtrusive, and I was easily able to continue work.

I'm six feet away from Kira. And he's acting like investigating himself, side by side, tied to me at all times, is a dream come true. None of this makes sense anymore. Is it at all possible that his…fondness for me is genuine? Could he somehow see me as a friend, despite knowing that as L, I am his enemy and therefore must be eliminated? Is that why he doesn't mind working with me?

Or am I just expecting Light to share my thoughts, like he so often does, because that's the way I feel? You're my enemy, Light; You're Kira, you must be defeated. And yet I am fond of you, despite all of that. You're the most extraordinary person I've ever met - the only one smart enough to keep up with me, persistent enough to meet every challenge I've ever made without hesitation, and relentlessly perfectionist in every area of your life. I admire you, I enjoy myself with you, I'm very fond of you. I'm not like Misa, or Matsuda; I'm not blind to your faults. You're a cold and manipulative person, deep down very cruel and destructive; you're stubborn, you see the world in black and white, and you're the worst serial killer the world has ever known.

And somehow, I am still fond of you. And now I will be with you, ever hour, of every day, until you're convicted as Kira. It's almost like you belong to me.


	17. Chapter 17

_Monday August 2 2004._

We've completed the move to the new headquarters. For myself, Watari, Light and Misa, this is now home. Misa will stay here, when she isn't working. Light and I will never leave the place unless absolutely necessary. Yagami, Aizawa, Matsuda and Mogi commute between their homes and the task force headquarters. The Chief spent a good part of last week catching up with his wife and daughter. I cannot permit Light to speak with them, because I don't intend to let them see me. He didn't protest.

I've been waiting for this place to get finished for so long, over eight months. Every dismal hotel room, I'd contemplated how much better things would be when we finally completed the construction, and I'd have every possible resource at my disposal for catching Kira. So now that we have completed the construction, and moved in, why haven't I jumped into action?

My urge to work, that necessity that's prompted me through my entire life - going without sleep, without anything in my life but solving crime, for days on end - it seems to have slipped away. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I've been feeling this way, more and more, ever since Light's incarceration. Hopeless.

 _Misa Amane: "Let's go on a date soon, even if it is the three of us!"_

And here we are, just as she predicted. Light and I on one sofa, Misa Amane on the opposite. Remnants of a perfectly good cake on the table between us. Misa has been asking, every day since she and Light were released, for a date with Light. I finally persuaded Light to at least give it a try, if only to keep from hurting her feelings too much. He isn't going out of his way to make her feel better; not even looking at her, arms folded, turned away.

Amane looks just as annoyed, though not with Light. She's annoyed with me. And completely ignoring the strawberry whipped cake slice in front of her.

 _Misa: Man, this has gotta be the lamest date I've ever been on._

 _No, no, no. Please, just pretend I'm not even here, OK? By the way, are you gonna eat that piece of cake?_

Just act like you would, even if I weren't here. If I weren't here, would you two start planning out how to kill me?

 _Misa: Cake makes you fat. I'm not gonna eat any._

 _Actually, I've found you don't gain any weight as long as you burn calories by using your brain._

I've found this much to be true; common wisdom purports that sugar creates weight, but I've never found it to be true in my case. _Misa: So now you're calling me stupid? Fine then. I'll give you the piece of cake as long as you promise to leave me and Light alone._

I didn't mean it as an insult, just an answer. She's far too sensitive, to the slightest bit of criticism.

 _Even if I leave you two alone, I'm still gonna be watching on surveillance cameras, so it wouldn't make any difference._

 _Misa: You pervert! Could you stop it with your creepy hobby?_

I'm learning to wean myself to being called a pervert. After all, what does it matter? The important thing is ensuring the safety of the world, and to do so I have to keep a constant watch on you two.

 _You can call me whatever you like. Last chance for cake._

 _Misa: OK, then, I'll just close the curtains and turn off all the lights._

 _We have infrared cameras in here as well._

Resourceful as ever, M-Kira. You want what you want, and you'll take any path possible to getting it. This matches up well with the attitude of the person who recorded the tapes. Ah, but what does it matter how well you match the profile? I have no proof. I have nothing, really. Just a slice of strawberry cake. And even that is failing to cheer me up.

 **Light: What's wrong with you? I thought moving here was supposed to help us catch Kira. But since we've been here, you don't seem all that motivated to me.**

 _Not motivated? You're right. Actually, I'm depressed._

Yes, that's the word for it. I'm miserable; for the first time in my life, really, I can feel that sense of worthlessness.

 **Light: Depressed? What for?**

 _Well, truthfully, all this time I thought you were Kira and my entire case hinged on that fact. I guess I just can't get past the fact that my deduction was wrong. Although having said that, I'm still suspicious of you. That's why we're wearing these. And we also know that Kira can control peoples' actions. Which means it's highly likely that Kira was controlling your actions so that I would suspect you. If I assume both you and Misa were being controlled by him, then everything we've observed so far makes a lot more sense to me._

I find myself opening up to Light. Telling him how I feel. Because he could tell - as much as I keep my emotions in check, somehow, Light can always tell when something's bothering me. And I feel that, even though the thing I'm depressed about _is_ him, and the case…that I'll feel just a little better, if I talk to him, because I usually do. He obliges me right away.

 **Light: If that's what you think, then Misa and I were both Kira during the time we were being controlled, right?**

 _Yes. I don't think I could've been wrong about that. The two of you are Kira. I don't believe it's coincidence that as soon as you were imprisoned, all the killings stopped. Until then, everything pointed to you being Kira. But after two weeks, criminals actually began dying again. Based on that evidence, I can only conclude that Kira's power passes between people._

And now, you have no knowledge of what you did. You're just Light Yagami, perfectionistic teenager. And I feel like I can tell you anything, and you'll understand. I've never felt this open with someone before; I know, vaguely, that we're being watched on surveillance, that Misa is in the room, but in my mind it's just the two of us, me and Light; he's the only one listening to my theory, and analyzing it quietly like he always does. He doesn't even flinch when I explain my conviction; the thought of having killed people without being aware of it, it's just another theory to him, another explanation for Kira's powers.

 **Light: That's an interesting idea. But if it's true, it'll be nearly impossible for us to catch Kira.**

 _Yes. That's why I'm overwhelmed. Even if we catch someone under his control, they are likely to lose their powers and any memory of their crimes. So in the end, pursuing them becomes futile._

It's as if Kira is some sort of supernatural force, possessing people, using them, and fleeing them when he's finished. How can you possibly stop an enemy like that? I feel like we're battling some abstract concept, rather than a person.

 **Light: But at this point, we have no way of knowing if that's the case. Cheer up, would you?**

 _Cheer up? No, I'm sorry, I can't. It's probably better if I just stop trying so hard. By chasing Kira so desperately, we would just be putting our lives at risk for nothing. Yes, it's just a waste of time._

Putting our lives at risk, to stop an entity that can't be killed; all of these people, dying for nothing…it's all becoming so futile. I feel like Sisyphus, pushing that rock to the top of the hill, only to have it roll back down again every single time. Kira is the rock, life is the rock, the burden of trying endlessly is so wearing…perhaps this time, I should just stay atop the hill, let the rock keep on rolling to -

 **Light: Ryuzaki…**

He's stood up. There's something in his voice, something…eerie. Something I don't like; he's said my name like a threat. Like he spoke that day we squared off at Touou, when he saw I'd taken Misa's cell phone - a hissing, soft, threatening voice. I turn to look at him; he's standing over me, and I can feel his fury. I can't believe I didn't notice it; Light is so well attuned to my feelings, yet I seem to keep missing his.

 _Bang._

He punched me in the face.

The last time I was beaten up unexpectedly, Naomi Misora threw me down a flight of stairs. It was extremely painful, and I had no desire to repeat the experience. Based on her moves, I began to study Capoeira. Since that day, I have never been caught unawares in a physical fight. Impressive, Light; you caught me by surprise. Few can do so.

I go flying backwards, into the wall; Light is pulled along by the handcuffs. My nose is stinging.

 _You know, that really hurt._

 **Light: That's enough! You don't feel like doing anything just because your genius deduction was wrong and I'm not Kira?**

Many times, when I've been tempted to slack off, to just let the i's go without their dots, I've started to hear Light's voice like a second conscience. How deeply ironic; a mass murderer has become that little voice in my head. I've really hurt his feelings; I've never seen Light use physical violence before.

 _Fine. Perhaps I phrased that the wrong way. I simply meant it would be pointless for us to make a move, so we shouldn't bother._

 **Light: If we don't chase Kira, he'll never be caught. Is that what you want? If you were just gonna give up, then why did you involve all those innocent people? More importantly, what was the point in putting Misa and me behind bars?**

You make good points. This is all true; I cannot give up, because I've already come so far. It would be wrong to quit, just now, no matter how hard it is to go on with the futility of the task. My nose really hurts. I wonder if he broke it.

 _I understand. But still, whatever the reason…_

I kicked him, in the face, still chained, still on the ground.

 _An eye for an eye, my friend._

The chains dragged us across the room, as Light flew into the couch, and I was pulled after him; the cake was in disarray, Misa looked horrified, and I felt the wind getting knocked out of me - and out of Light, for a moment, before we had a chance to regain our bearings. All of it didn't matter, of course. None of this is the problem.

 _It's not my deduction that was wrong. The fact is, I can say that Light Yagami is Kira, and Misa Amane is the second Kira. But it won't be enough to solve the case. And that's why I'm a little depressed. Is that so unreasonable?_

 **Light: Yes. Yes it is. Besides, listen to yourself. It's like you won't be satisfied unless I** ** _am_** **Kira.**

Now, that's an interesting idea, Light. I'd never really considered it before, because I spend so much time wrapped up in the logical points of the case, fact checking, memorizing. I'd never really asked myself that question. I've often thought, am I letting my idea of Kira bias me?

 _I won't be satisfied unless you're Kira? Well, there may be some truth to that. In fact, now that you mention it, you're right. I think I wanted you to be Kira._

Light Yagami. Why would I _want_ for _you_ to be Kira? What difference would it make, who Kira was, as long as I could convict him? I've never let personal feeling bias me in a case before; even Beyond Birthday, who sought to be just like me…Why you?

I don't have time to think that one through, because Light hit me again, dragging me to my feet along with him.

 _As I said, an eye for an eye. I'm a lot stronger than I look, you know._

And we begin again, to fight, fist to fist, mono y mono. I can hardly believe this is really happening. Light and I, locked in hand to hand combat; I'm sore all over, my nose may be broken, but somehow…

The telephone rings. I'm nearest; I answer.

 _Yes?_

 _Matsuda: Ryuzaki, I've got good news! Misa-Misa's number one in 'Eighteen' magazine's reader popularity poll._

With that, the spell is broken. Matsuda's idiotic words bring me back to earth. What are we _doing?_ And the police were probably watching, the whole time, as Light and I…

 _Oh, I see._

 _Matsuda: And get this, she's gonna get a lead role in Nishinaka's next movie!_

How could anyone prattle about, care about such nonsense? I slam the phone onto the receiver, irritated. How is this man a police officer - how is he one of the only officers willing to stick it out and keep fighting Kira?

 **Light: What was that?**

 _Matsuda's acting stupid again._

 **Light: Well, that is his speciality.**

We're once again allies. I can feel the anger, the adrenaline, disappear; we're in agreement, over Matsuda's foolishness. Perhaps, really, it's more about our own foolishness than his. I wish I could say that Light's words, his force, made me feel rejuvenated; that I found myself eager to work or spurred on. But depression doesn't simply go away like that; the futility of the case is still omnipresent.

Later that night, when Light and I were alone, we made up. I still feel hopeless…but he doesn't. And as long as we're bound together, I'll continue to investigate whether I like it or not.

 _Friday. October 1. 2004._

After two months of futility, we've finally hit a break in the case.

Two months living at task force headquarters. Two months handcuffed to Light. It's such a strange sensation, being so close to another person. I've always avoided physical contact; when the other children at Wammy's tried to embrace me, I beat them down. I've always opted to live alone; I have allies, but no friends. I can't get attached.

Yet here I am, sharing my life, my house, my space, with someone else. If I want to use the restroom, I have to take Light with me. If he wants to sleep, we go to the bedroom. If either of us wishes to shower, the other obliges. I don't feel like we're two people, trying to get what we need. It feels more like we're one person, because Light's needs so frequently seem to match mine.

He's kept up working on the Kira case. And little by little, his optimism has infected me. Even if the case may be futile, there's no way to sit here and do nothing - not with Light pulling me, every day, to work as hard as he does. He may be the only person I've ever met who works harder than I do - well, then I do usually. We seem to be becoming a team; the task force works for _us_ , _we_ find out all we can about Kira, _we_ eat dinner together, speculate together.

Since that first day, when I opened up to Light, I've avoided spilling my feelings to him, as I did then. But it doesn't really matter, because he usually guesses how I feel anyway. And today, he told me something that improved my mood.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, I know you're not feeling up to it, but come over here for a second. Take a look at this. It can't be coincidence.**

He'd pulled up the list of Kira's most recent killings, sorted through it, and found a group of them with quite a few points in common. Ever since the first week of Light's incarceration, Kira's methods have changed drastically. This new Kira - N-Kira, I suppose - he kills criminals regularly, but also quite a few people who are neither criminals nor trying to convict him.

 **Light: All of them were prominent Japanese businessmen, CEOs whose companies are leaders in their respective industries. In just over a month, they've all died of heart attacks. As expected, there's been a general downturn in the market, with the exception of Yotsuba. In other words, their deaths have worked in Yotsuba's favor. Looking back, there've been 13 similar deaths in the past three months. Your thoughts? Based on this, I can only conclude that Kira is supporting Yotsuba.**

 _Huh. Could be. But if what you're saying is true, we can assume that punishing criminals is not this Kira's real intent._

It's such a disgrace, really. L-Kira and M-Kira, horrible as they were, they both had rules and standards. L-Kira in particular only punished criminals or those trying to catch him. I look over at Light, knowing as always that that Kira was him. He's smiling at me. He feels happy, as I feel happier. You really were the best Kira, Light. The only one who really felt like a challenge, a worthy opponent. Perhaps that's why I wanted you to be Kira.

 **Light: Right. Punishing criminals is a diversion for him. It'd disguise the fact that he's actually killing people for the benefit of his company. Are you feeling a bit more motivated now?**

Yes, I am. Thanks to you, Light. It's time to make plans, for catching N-Kira and perhaps putting a stop to this whole thing. And this time, I want Light to be in on it.

 _Saturday October 2 2004._

Light and I have explained our theory about N-Kira to Matsuda and Aizawa. Mogi and Chief Yagami joined us; as soon as Matsuda explained Light's theory, and the Chief showed no pleasure in the thought, I knew something was wrong.

 _Yagami: We just spoke to the director and it seems Kira's offered bribes to a number of politicians. As long as the NPA agrees not to pursue him anymore, he won't lay a hand on any politicians. So that's that. They caved in to him. Modi and I have already made up our minds on this. Aizawa, Matsuda, if you wish to continue working on this case, you'll have to hand in your letter of resignation to the NPA, just as Mogi and I are going to do. Like it or not, you cannot pursue Kira as a member of the police force anymore. They made it quite clear. If you continue to work with L, you'll be fired. That's all there is to it._

I'd wondered if this might happen eventually, but it's still a blow. That the world would cave into Kira like this. I make a quick calculation. Chief Yagami's son is at stake in this affair, so he will no doubt continue to pursue Kira regardless of whether or not he'll lose his job. Mogi has lost friends to Kira's actions, and he has nothing to lose; I'd imagine he's made the same choice as the chief. Matsuda is young and idealistic; he looks at Chief Yagami and Light like family; he wouldn't want to disappoint them. Aizawa has a real family to support, a job on the line, and a deep-seated hatred of both me and Light. He will most likely quit. And really, it would be better for me if the task force did quit. I appreciate their help, but I can't ask them to give up their jobs for me.

 _If you want my opinion, you'd be better off as police officers. I was alone when I started this case, and although I'm grateful to all of you for staying with me as long as you have, I know that I can do this by myself. I'll be sure to visit you at the department and bring you Kira's head as a reward for all that you have sacrificed._

It would be better, really. To work alone. To keep up the case, by myself, with the help of my network of allies and informations, of course…

 **Light: Ryuzaki, as long as I'm alive, you won't be working alone. You have my word on that.**

He sounds so passionate. He wants me to know, to comfort me in my solitude. And something in his phrase catches my attention. He didn't say 'as long as Kira is still around'. No, it's 'as long as I'm alive.' I wonder. Will Light stay by my side, even when the case is over - if somehow he turns out to be innocent, then - what would happen? Light, would you fight by my side, to stop the forces of evil, for the rest of our lives? I don't know, and I can't ask him something like that.

 _Hm. right. Now I have Light working with me until I catch Kira, so I won't be alone after all. But as I said, I think the rest of you should remain as police officers._

 _Yagami: But when you first contacted us, you said that you would need the help of the police in order to solve this case._

His son's a suspect. Soichiro Yagami is involved no matter what. He will try and persuade me to let him quit the force and join my fight.

 _That's because the police as an organization were still hoping to arrest Kira. They weren't bowing to him. Besides, with all due respect, there's a big difference between the help of two or three civilians, and the police as an organization. As you said, the police have made their position clear. They don't want to catch Kira, so let's just leave it at that._

 _Yagami: Well, I suppose what you say makes sense. If we're not police officers anymore, we won't be of much use to you. However, we're all personally involved in this. All of us have risked our lives to catch Kira. Doesn't that give us the right to decide whether we stay here or return to the police force?_

You all have that right. I can only give you my opinion, what I think you should do. If you stay, you stay. If you leave, you will have to leave permanently, and you cannot let anyone else know about us or the task force.

 _Mm, good point. Then by all means, please make your decision._

Of course, I know what Chief Yagami's answer will be, even before he replies. Aizawa, always thinking of the future, brings up the chief's family, how he will support them. We know that they have nothing to worry about; anticipating this eventuality, I'd informed Light of the truth, though I'd asked him not to tell his father. And so he keeps quiet. Our plan - _our_ test - is playing out. All that's left to do is watch.

 _Aizawa: Even if we do catch Kira, what are you gonna do after that?_

 _Yagami: After that? I hadn't really thought of it, but I suppose after we catch Kira, I'll have to dust off my resume._

He sounds cheerful about it. I suppose this experience has allowed Yagami some perspective. Anyone could grow tired of catching criminals after this. Perhaps he'll take up gardening. I meet Light's eyes, we both know what's coming.

 _Matsuda: Count me in! I'm gonna quit the police force and chase Kira too, chief! And I still have my job as Misa-Misa's manager. Besides, if I stayed on as a police officer, I'd feel like a total loser._

 _Yagami: Think before you open your mouth, Matsuda._

If only he would. He's provided Aizawa with the counterargument. I can feel Aizawa's indecision, behind me. He's shaking, I feel sorry for him; I think I know what's coming.

 _Aizawa: Is there any way I could still keep my job and help you in my spare time?_

 _There isn't. If you remain a police officer, then please don't come back here._

You'll be useful on the force, Aizawa. Once you get the chance to calm down, spend some time with your family again, you'll realize I was right.

 _Aizawa: But you know I won't leak any information!_

 _I won't be sharing any of our information. You are free to pursue Kira on your own if you want to. But I don't think it's fair to your families to burden them by giving up your livelihood just to continue this. I can't see how that's a good idea._

Matsuda and Yagami both seem convinced that Aizawa has made his decision already. But I can tell he's still undecided. It's up to you, Aizawa. Make your choice. Either way, we'll benefit; we'll know how dedicated you are, or we'll have an ally on the force.

 _Aizawa: What kind of friend would I be to Ukita if I quit now? I became a detective so I could catch the bad guys, not run away!_

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, earlier on in the investigation, you specifically told me that if a task force member were to lose their job under any circumstances, I should make preparations to ensure that their family's financial future was secure. If you recall, a trust was set aside for that very purpose. I'm a little curious as to why you're withholding this information._

Good timing, Watari. This should push Aizawa into his final decision, either way. I explained this fact to Light, a few weeks ago, as he regretted how worrying about him and damaged his father's political career. I felt that need to defend my actions I seem to have around Light, and explained the truth. How I'd set this fund aside, to ensure each of the task force members' families would be secure. I'd even calculated, back before Light arrived at Touou, how much he'd need to get in. Light was impressed. When we'd considered the possibility of a scenario like this, we'd agreed to keep this private. We'd sit and watch, to see who was truly the most dedicated. I'd say the plan was about 50/50.

 _Matsuda: No way! So all this time, we had nothing to worry about? I can't believe you did that. There you go, Aizawa! Isn't that great news?_

 _Aizawa: Ryuzaki, I assume that this was some kind of test to determine how committed I was to this task force._

Hm. Your deductive abilities are getting sharper, Mr. Aizawa. Working with me - working against Kira - all this time must be giving you an edge. The Chief and Matsuda leap to my defense.

 _Yagami: It's not like that, Aizawa. Ryuzai's not the type to say things directly. You should know that by now._

 _Matsuda: Yeah, that's right._

No use deceiving them any longer. I can tell that Aizawa has made his decision; the truth about the fund has pushed him over.

 _No. I was testing you. I wanted to see which one you would choose._

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki…_

I can tell I've shocked him. Chief Yagami has very high moral standards; I haven't quite come up to them. He's only going to become more and more shocked as we go on. Now that I'm truly and properly motivated (thank you, Light), I intend to follow this through, no matter what it takes. Aizawa leaves in a rage; I only have time to thank him for all of his hard work, and he's out the door.

Goodbye then, Shuichi Aizawa. You've been a great help to us. But your talents will be better served on the police force. And should we ever need help from an officer in Kanto, who's seen the dangers of Kira up close…I know who to call.

 _Thursday. October 7. 2004._

It's down to just the six of us. Yagami, Matsuda, Mogi, Watari, Light and I. With their jobs out of the way, the police officers have been able to throw themselves completely into the work. They're here almost as much as Light and I. Matsuda leaves to escort Misa around as her manager; Yagami leaves to visit his wife and daughter. But every moment that they're here, they're working with us to catch N-Kira.

 **Light: I just found another one. A general manager of a bank, Yotsuba's biggest competitor. On September 7th, he slipped and fell on the front steps of his house and died instantly.**

 _Yagami: September the 7th was a Friday, wasn't it? After going over this again, I noticed something. All the deaths which are beneficial to Yotsuba are concentrated around the weekends. With the first few victims, the time of deaths appears to be at random. More recently, they all take place between Friday night and Saturday afternoon._

N-Kira performed experiments with his powers, just like L-Kira. He didn't start to form a pattern initially, but this timing indicates that he performs the Yotsuba killings around the weekends. Since Light's theory is, in all probability, correct (he is L-Kira, after all; he probably handpicked N-Kira himself), I will rename this Kira. He is the Yotsuba Kira.

 **Light: This is a really important clue, dad. Nice work.**

 _Yagami: Well, you know. I can't let myself fall behind you and Ryuzaki. After all, the last thing I want to be is dead weight._

Like father, like son. Mr. Yagami is a perfectionist, though not as much as Light; even under these circumstances, Light still finds the time to maintain his physical routine, including daily showers. Yotsuba Kira is no perfectionist; he isn't doing a very good job of hiding his plans. Though I can't jump to any conclusions.

 _Is Kira someone from Yotsuba, or is Kira simply using Yotsuba? I haven't figured that out yet, but we'll proceed under the assumption that this is Kira's doing. We will focus on Yotsuba._

Why would Kira want to benefit a particular company? Is this Kira looking for financial compensation? He really is crude, in comparison to my Kira. He has no standards at all. And investigating Yotsuba is…it's a daunting task, to say the least.

 _Mogi: This is all of the Yotsuba group's employees. Here._

 _Thank you very much._

A stack of pages half Mogi's height. I've said very little about Kanzo Mogi, because he works very much like a skilled tool; he's efficient, quiet, and never asks questions. I appreciate that a great deal, perhaps not as often as I should.

 **Light: That's 300,000 people How did he put this together so quickly? That's amazing, Mogi.**

 _He's been incredibly efficient from the start._

Light Yagami, the Task force cheerleader. He's been so full of positive words for everyone, since he was released; he even complements me regularly. The Light I used to know rarely praised anyone or anything.

 _Matsuda: Ryuzaki! Please tell me. Is there anything I can do to help the investigation, besides the manager thing?_

 _So you really wanna be useful?_

Soichiro Yagami, brilliant and honorable professional. Kanzo Mogi, efficient and hard-working. Watari, who never fails a task I've set. Light Yagami, perfectionistic genius. Myself, the world's greatest detective. And Matsuda.

 _Then, could you get me another cup of coffee? And for our guests over there as well._

The two newest members of the task force. Even Light didn't know about them. I've succeeded in catching him off guard for the first time in months; I appreciate that look of surprise.

 **Light: Hold on a sec, who let them in?**

 _Those two are the newest members of the task force._

Aiber, real name Thierry Morrello. Age 35. Wedy, real name Merrie Kenwood. Age 30. Two skilled crooks that I made a deal with, some time back. They work for me. Mr. Yagami looks quite shocked and appalled at the idea, like he can't imagine working with criminals.

 _That's right. Aiber is a lifelong con man. He has unparalleled social skills that allow him to befriend and gain the trust of any target. We'll use him for infiltration. As for Wedy, she's a thief specialized in cracking high end security systems. As proof of that, she was able to enter the building without setting off a single alarm._

 _Yagami: You expect us to work with criminals?_

As though they aren't actual people. I can see where Light gets his morals from. That absolutism, that inability to comprehend that people are more than just simply good or evil. And that putting of morality above everything else, even logic. I wonder how much complaining I'll hear from Light about this decision tonight.

 _Yes. That is correct. However, these two have never once been caught. So it's unlikely they'll be killed by Kira. Think of them as professionals of the underworld._

 **Light: I understand. To investigate Yotsuba, we're gonna need the help of people like this. Let's all do our part and make this happen, OK?**

I'm quite surprised to hear it. That sounds like the kind of thing Kira would never allow himself to say. But I'm relieved; again, Light seems to understand me, to support whatever decision I make and see my point of view. I suppose I've given a test of dedication to everyone else but him - because really, I don't need to ask. I know - since Light has no memories of being Kira, somehow, that his dedication is genuine.

There is one more person whose dedication I haven't tested, though. And that's myself.

There I was, two months ago, in the worst depression I've ever felt, ready to throw it all away and admit defeat to Kira. Then Light smacked me in the face, and dragged me through, and kept me going. When I was ready to let the rock keep rolling, he pulled me through. And he's said he'll be by my side, no matter what. The others have asked themselves the question of what they'll do when we've caught Kira. And what will _we_ do, Light? If somehow you're cleared (not that I believe you're innocent). If we get through this? Will you want to continue on, as my partner? You want to work with the police force; now that you know me, like no one else ever has, will you want to work by my side? To become L along with me?

The idea sounds…pleasant.


	18. Chapter 18

_Friday October 8 2004._

 _Evening._

The Yotsuba employees list has proved to be extraordinarily dull reading. I don't appreciate having to start over again, with no means of narrowing down N-Kira's identity. If my guess is correct, Light gave up his ability at the end of the first week of confinement. N-Kira began killing one week later. So does the ability take precisely one week to transfer? Or did it take one week to deliver it? Or was the week's delay for some other, more obscure purpose?

I became aware, as I sat eating more strawberry cake and contemplating this new development, that Light was staring at me. I refrained, at first, from commenting; perhaps he was merely in abstraction, but as it went on I began to feel uncomfortable. This must be how it feels when I study a person's reactions. After two minutes, I began to wonder; he looked rather unhappy.

 _What's wrong? You've been staring at me for the last two minutes. Wait, let me guess. You must be annoyed because I'm the only one eating cake at the moment, am I right?_

 **Light: No, that's not it.**

I want to see him cheer up a bit; he's always quick with support when I'm unhappy. Light takes so little cake for himself; he eats very little, sweet or otherwise. I offered him my piece.

 _Here._

 **Light: Really, don't worry about it.**

I do, though. I worry about you, what you're thinking, how you're feeling. Mostly for the sake of the case, for my own safety, but some of it is for your own good as well. You should eat more, Light. Keep your strength up.

 _Watari; Ryuzaki:_

 _Yes, what is it?_

 _Watari: Detective Eraldo Coil has just received a private request to investigate and reveal the identity of L._

About time. I've been expecting something like this to happen, ever since I first challenged Kira on TV. Of course, neither Light nor Misa has ever heard of Coil, so they wouldn't have thought of trying this path. But N-Kira…I strongly suspect that the Yotsuba Kira is considerably older than either Light or Misa, old enough to be employed at Yotsuba, probably between thirty and fifty.

 _Yagami: Isn't Eraldo Coil supposed to be the second greatest detective in the world, after L himself? Who on earth would send such a request?_

 _Watari: The man who sent for Coil's service is Masahiko Kida. The head of Rights and Planning department of the Yotsuba group's headquarters in Tokyo._

Masahiko Kida. That's the annoying part about the Yotsuba Kira, even if Kida did set up the appointment, it doesn't mean he's Kira, because he could've been told to do so by a higher up. This is exactly the sort of thing I considered early on, that Kira could be a _group_ of people, and easily dismissed do to the disparate nature of the killings.

 _Yagami: So, it is Yotsuba._

 **Light: We know that Yotsuba must be related to Kira. If they are trying to find out L's identity, it's probably because they wanna kill him and need that information to do it.**

Yotsuba Kira has taken his time with trying to find me. He's nothing like Light, or Misa; they were quite efficient, quick to act, and in Light's case, very eager to defend his own safety. The Yotsuba Kira hasn't made a single move against me since he acquired the killing power. I suppose I haven't given him any good reason to fear for his safety. I understood Light very well, because his manner of thinking was so similar to mine; Misa made her intentions obvious from the beginning. But the Yotsuba Kira isn't as easy to pinpoint, because his actions feel like they're a pastiche, a combination of his own wants, and Light's original intent as Kira.

 _Yagami: This isn't good. We are already short handed enough as it is, and now we have to worry about Coil, too._

 _It's quite all right. The detective known as Eraldo Coil is me. It's quite simple, really. Three of the greatest detectives in the world: L, Coil and Deneuve, they're all actually me. It's been my experience that people who try to find me usually fall for this._

Coil and Deneuve _were_ real people, once. Great detectives, brilliant minds. They lost out to me, in the detective wars, and in their honor I've kept up their identities. In my spare time, I solve cases as Coil and Deneuve, though they aren't contracted nearly as often as L. And nobody has ever tried to approach them to find Kira.

 _I'll give you this strawberry if you keep it a secret, OK?_

 **Light: I'm impressed, as always, Ryuzaki.**

I feel a brief surge of pride in my own achievements. It seems Light and I continue to impress each other. He keeps on impressing me with his diligence, intelligence and commitment. He was a much more stimulating opponent than Yotsuba Kira is turning out to be; perhaps I've been so depressed because there's no fun or real challenge in battling this new foe, not like there was with Light.

Now, to deal with this Coil situation. Wedy and Aiber are readily available to help; I intend to control the situation from afar. The priority at this point is gathering information on Yotsuba, from within; trying to investigate them from without will prove futile due to the organization's size. Wedy will get through their security and provide surveillance on the head offices, which to her is a fun weekend. I've never given Wedy a building for infiltration that she was unable to bug; even some of the most secure places on the planet such as the UN or interpol. A major company should be no problem.

 _At this point, it's safe to assume that Kira and the Yotsuba group are connected in some way. We are going to investigate Yotsuba to determine who holds Kira's power and if there is more than one person who possess this ability. We need a clear understanding quickly. We cannot let anyone at Yotsuba figure out that we are investigating them. Please realize that if they do notice it, it means we won't be able to catch Kira._

As for Aiber, he will pose as Coil, so that the Yotsuba group can 'search' for L's identity. He'll give them red herrings and keep Yotsuba Kira from discovering me. I don't think a direct confrontation between us will be necessary; I have no interest in meeting Yotsuba Kira. He kills people for the benefit of his company, and criminals with extenuating circumstances just to keep up appearances as Kira. Really, I'm mostly chasing him in order to discover how Kira kills, and by doing so hopefully, finally succeed in destroying this killing power once and for all. Therefore, secrecy is of maximum importance.

 _Please be sure not to act impulsively out of panic or haste. And don't take matters into your own hands._

Of the task force, Light is as cautious as I am and can't go anywhere without me; Mogi usually waits, patiently, for orders and has never made a move on his own. Wedy and Aiber have no personal interest in this, and have a very good reason to keep their identities secret; namely, if Kira discovers them, they'll probably die. Chief Yagami is the only one who I need to worry about making an impulsive move. Him or -

 _Watari: Ryuzaki._

 _Yes, what is it?_

 _I have just received an emergency signal from Matsuda's belt._

Matsuda.

In all the urgency, I'd forgotten to take him into account.

 _Where is he?_

 _It seems that it's coming from within the head office of the Yotsuba group._

Oh, no.

What the hell are you doing, Matsuda? I should have seen this coming. A few incidents flash through my memory; Matsuda asking how he could help with the investigation, Matsuda sulking about getting coffee, Matsuda complaining about being Misa's manager…he must have decided to go off on his own and got captured. So much for stealth.

 _Disregard everything I just said. I'll need to rethink our strategy. Matsuda, you idiot!_

If Matsuda stumbled into the head office, then most likely the current Kira noticed. Evidence demonstrates that he doesn't have Misa's power - he needs both a face and a name to kill, so as long as Matsuda remembers to show his false name, he should be able to stall. However, this also means that 'Taro Matsui' is no longer any good as an alias, since the Yotsuba Kira will no doubt try to kill him with that false name. Unless…

 **Light: What are we gonna do?**

 _Our first priority is to contact Matsuda and find out what we can. First off, if he's still alive._

I'll start with Matsuda's cell phone; if he still has access to it. If not, we'll have to send someone down there in person, which will look quite suspicious. Fortunately, Matsuda answered.

 _Matsuda: Hello?_

 _Yo, Matsui! Yeah, it's me Asahi. It's been a while, buddy._

I'm not sure why Light and Mr. Yagami's alias came to my mind. I'm disguising my voice, as I'm sure the Yotsuba group will be listening to our conversation; Matsuda might need to hear the codename to recognize me.

 _Matsuda: Asahi! Yeah, it's been a long time._

 _Yeah, it doesn't sound like you're out right now. Don't tell me you're home already._

He's picked up on it. Good. And since he responded aloud to his alias, that means he remembered to use it in front of the Yotsuba group. The other important question, did he bring Misa with him? He's supposed to be watching her. If he left her behind - not that I think Misa's going to kill me right now, but -

 _So, you by yourself?_

 _Matsuda: Yeah. I'm by myself. What's up?_

So you left her. You had one job, Matsuda; to watch Misa Amane and make sure to report if she used her abilities as the second Kira. And you couldn't do that right. I cover the phone to explain to Light and Mr. Yagami, though I suspect Light's already caught on.

 _He's not with Misa Amane right now. Matsuda must be on his own._

And once again, as Asahi, to "Matsui"

 _So you wanna like go out drinking tonight?_

 _Matsuda: Oh, right now? Sorry, I'll have to pass tonight._

Otherwise occupied. Being held by the Yotsuba group, no doubt; they can hear us. Is Yotsuba Kira in the room with you right now, Matsuda?

 _Oh, what's the matter? Don't tell me your wallet is in trouble again._

 _Matsuda: Yeah, that's right. Big troubles with money. You know me way too well._

I'll need to have Light contact Misa as soon as possible. There may be a way to save Matsuda's life, but this isn't going to be easy. For the benefit of the other task force members, I once again cover the phone.

 _Matsuda's saying he's in big trouble._

And as Asahi: _Oh, that's too bad. Guess I'll drag you out some other time, all right? See ya, buddy!_

Stay calm, Matsuda. Keep up whatever charade you're using and don't try anything reckless. We need to maintain calm, as well; no impulsive moves, no matter how tempting.

 **Light: Misa's cell phone is on voicemail right now. I left her a message and told her to call me back as soon as she can.**

 _Yagami: What are you planning to do, Ryuzaki?_

 _Well, we have to consider that if Matsuda dies, our suspicions about the Yotsuba group will be confirmed. Let's just watch the situation for the time being._

If Yotsuba Kira kills Matsuda, it would mean he considers him a threat. Would he really consider Matsuda a threat, if Matsuda is maintaining his cover? Matsuda must have done something, put himself in a suspicious position. Did he walk right up to the head office and expect to overhear valuable information?

Light's phone rings. At this point, nothing would surprise me.

 **Light: Misa? Misa, you're not with Matsuda at the moment, are you?**

We already know that much…I can't hear Misa's side of the conversation. I still can't shake that feeling that Misa will take the first possible opportunity to tell Light my real name.

 **Light: Misa's just received a call from Matsuda.**

 _Tell her to hold her phone so that we can listen in as well._

With Light's phone on speaker, I can monitor everything that's said. And now, Matsuda, why are you calling Misa? More importantly, why are your captors allowing you to call her?

 _Matsuda: Misa-Misa, when you finish filming, come over to the Yotsuba Group's head office. It's still tentative, but there's a chance you may be able to appear in Yotsuba's commercials! We're working it out now._

So, that's the lie he cooked up for them. He _is_ Misa's manager…I suppose it's just plausible enough to believe, but will Yotsuba Kira buy it?

 _Misa: What? For real? You're amazing, Matsu. So that's what you've been up to all this time. Don't worry. We're wrapping up soon._

 _Matsuda: Great. It's just a short trip by taxi._

It would be almost impossible to pull Matsuda out of this situation on his own, but with Misa's assistance, he might be able to escape. And there's only one way to get Misa to help.

 _Listen to me, Light. There is a chance that we may be able to save Matsuda. But we won't be able to do it without Misa's help. She'll listen to you and do anything you say, won't she?_

 **Light: What do you need?**

Good. You're in the mood for action, so there won't be any dithering about manipulation. Time to save Matsuda.

 _One hour later._

Misa Amane, you've really outdone yourself.

In just an hour, she's brought the entire Yotsuba group to task force headquarters. She made a call to her agency and brought together a group of models, all greeting the head office members of Yotsuba in a room several floors up. The task force headquarters looks like any other office building from the outside, so they had no reason to be suspicious. Since every room has cameras, we're able to monitor their actions.

Eight of them, in total. All in the right age range for the Yotsuba Kira. Every one of them doing their best to keep an eye on Matsuda - an exhausted Matsuda, perhaps regretting his decisions. The models, led by Misa, kept the Yotsuba group occupied, while I made my calls and prepared my plan. She's a natural at distraction; able to slip into a disguise or a role and placate people with ease.

 _Well, well. Misa's pretty good at this sort of thing._

It's the sort of thing I could use in future. If Amane wasn't the second Kira, this kind of ability would be very useful in tricking criminals. Perhaps she's just the person to flush the Yotsuba Kira out of hiding; certainly, nobody would suspect _her._

Matsuda escaped from the party with the excuse of using the restroom, stealing Misa's cell phone and giving me a chance to call him.

 _Matsuda: Ryuzaki, are you watching this?_

 _Yes_

 _Matsuda: Look, I'm really sorry that I -_

 _That's not important right now._

Though you will apologize, later on, to everyone here for putting this investigation in jeopardy.

 _Matsuda: OK, listen. The eight men who came here were having a meeting to determine who they'd get Kira to kill for them. I heard them say it clearly. There's no doubt they're behind this._

 _Yes, that is probably true. But if you did overhear them and they caught you, then they'll almost certainly be trying to kill you now._

Yotsuba Kira will attempt to use the 'Matsui' alias; they'll notice that Matsu doesn't die and do what they can to learn his real name. Either way, 'Taro Matsui' is now a useless alias.

 _Matsuda: Ah, I know. Do you think there's anything I can do to save myself?_

 _Well, luckily, you're still alive, so we may be able to save you. But for that to happen, you will have to die before they can kill you._

The charade is simple: A very drunken Taro Matsui will stagger into the reception room, and attempt to show off by climbing onto the balcony, walking along the ledge, and doing a handstand. His hand will slip, and he will fall. A few floors below, Soichiro Yagami will be waiting with a mattress to catch him, and a device close to his weight to drop off the second balcony; Aiber will pose as Matsuda's body. The Yotsuba group will see that 'body', and assume Matsui is dead. To add realism, Wedy will exclaim on seeing his death, Amane will convince the Yotsuba group that the best thing they can do is clear out, and Light and I will pose as paramedics, taking the body to the ambulance.

 _While I'm aware of the fact that we're shorthanded, I'm not very pleased about having to do this sort of thing myself. Matsuda, you idiot!_

Fortunately, nobody in the crowd noticed the handcuffs between Light and I; we hid them as best we could. In our helmets, we're just two aides; the body is the real spectacle. Nobody notices the paramedics.

 _Friday October 15 2004._

We've narrowed down our list of suspects from thousands to eight. Matsuda may have accidentally assisted us. He's been extremely apologetic for his screw-up and working round the clock to make up for it. I had Wedy install wiretaps and surveillance cameras around the Yotsuba group's head office. We're going to be listening in on their meetings from now on.

 **Light: We've almost got them.**

 _So, one of these people…is Kira._

There were eight of them the other day. Hater, the one with white hair, has disappeared. Most likely dead.

Yotsuba Kira, you are so utterly predictable. _Matsuda_ was able to outwit you, and now we've narrowed your identity down to seven people. Compared to those who wielded the power before you you're nothing. And it wouldn't surprise me if we get easy proof of your identity very quickly. If that happens, the rest of the task force will want to arrest you quickly. But then, your power will most likely transfer, where? Back to Light? To someone else? Either way, we'll be right back where we started. I intend to find out how you kill first, and the task force won't appreciate that.

If we catch the Yotsuba Kira, and figure out how to get rid of his killing power…what does that mean for Light and Misa? If they have no more memory of _being_ Kira, would it even be possible to prosecute them? Would Yotsuba Kira take the fall for all of their crimes, is that what Light hoped would happen? This Kira wouldn't be as clever as him or as resilient as Misa; proof would emerge quickly, and he'd be let off the hook? No, Light's too persistent in attaining his goals to give it up like that. He'll have arranged for the power to come back to him as soon as he's cleared of suspicion.

Every day, Light and I spend our time locked together, inseparable and unable to avoid the sheer fact of one another. There is an ease in that back and forth, a comfort in having a living companion so dedicated to justice. I will miss him, really. Because I'm starting to get the feeling that Light has planned all of this. That there's no way to stop Kira's power from returning to him, in the end. And if so - if Kira's power truly cannot be destroyed, and will come back to Light…then this fight really will become hopeless.

Because I'm starting to doubt if I can really bring myself to destroy him. We're too closely linked, too bound in one.


	19. Chapter 19

_Friday October 15 2004_

The important thing for the moment is to focus on the Yotsuba Kira. We're in the process of observing their meeting, thanks to Wedy's surveillance cameras. Things are moving quickly - really, far too quickly.

 **Light: There are supposed to be eight of them, but only seven are present. That must mean that…**

 _They probably killed one of their members._

Looking into Hatori's death will no doubt reveal that he was killed by Kira; if Matsuda's evidence wasn't already enough.

 _Ooi: In order to further the growth of the Yotsuba group and to serve its financial interests, who should we kill next?_

 _Matsuda: You see? It's just like I told you last week!_

This is not good. At this rate, it won't be long before the task force members move that we arrest the Yotsuba Seven on the grounds of working with Kira; Kira's power will pass from whichever member it's currently attached to, and we'll have to start over again. As the seven discuss who they're going to kill next, admitting aloud that they're working with Kira, that they hired Coil, that they intend to change the timing of the killings (based on the report I had Aiber write, as Coil) in order to fool L. All of this footage would instantly convict them, at the very least, of conspiracy to murder.

But I don't care about catching _this_ Kira. _This_ is just a copycat, no, a copycat of a copycat. Catching him is honestly beneath me. I want the _real_ Kira. The original, the source of the power.

 _Matsuda: This is unbelievable! It's like they're trying to confess to everything!_

 _Yagami: As long as we have this video as evidence, we could probably arrest all seven of them._

This is not good. The Yotsuba seven continue to plan their next murders, to discuss Kira, to talk about how accidental the deaths should be, how they should change the timing. They're a committee, and any one of them could honestly be the Yotsuba Kira. Different degrees of likelihood, of course. Beside me, I can feel Light's disgust, his outrage.

 **Light: Is this for real? How can they do this so easily.**

Kira! Light would be outraged that they're using his powers for such mundane purposes and being so careless in their plans; Memoryless-Light is outraged at their callouss immorality. Either way, I share his disgust; on the one hand, I find their behavior distasteful because they're playing such cruel games with others' lives; on the other, distasteful because it is so unworthy of the Kira investigation.

 **Light: Kira, deaths by accident, by disease, designated times of deaths. It's all just as we suspected! We were right!**

 _No. Unfortunately, we can only be completely sure after those people they've named are dead. We will continue to monitor these meetings and take note of what they say, how they act, and most importantly whether the people they choose a actually die. If we confirm the connection between their plans and the deaths, then we'll definitely be able to catch Kira._

We need solid proof; definitive evidence. If we get ahead of -

 **Light & **_Mr. Yagami:_ ** _Ryuzaki!_**

Loud enough, one on each side of me, that I drop my carefully balanced marshmallows.

 _What is it? There's no need to yell in unison._

 **Light: I can't carry on knowing these people will die! That's just immoral!**

Here it comes. Light's really imperturbable. If we were to work together again, even with all his intelligence, persistence and activity, he'd still probably slow me down with objections. Well, if he _were_ Kira again, the one I used to play against, then he would probably agree to do whatever was necessary…it's absurd, but I almost miss that Light Yagami, the one prepared for anything.

 **Light: I know you're planning to catch Kira by letting these guys actually carry out these murders, but we can't let that happen.**

 _Yagami: That's right. It's obvious that these seven men are behind the killings. With Matsuda's testimony and this footage we've recorded, we have all the evidence we need._

Let's review this, shall we? We incarcerate anyone on suspicion of being Kira, and their powers and memories will leave them. They will be transferred to someone else and we'll be obliged to start all over again. The work we've done will go to waste. The needs of the many - the needs of the world - must outweigh the needs of these few people. If we're going to ever stop Kira, we can't quarrel over things like this.

 _You're making this difficult. If we were to take action now, everything we've done would go to waste._

Light is watching me, calculating what he needs to do. He's already aware that arguing with me on this matter will be no good, and he's planning his counterstrike. Meanwhile, the Yotsuba group continues to make their plans on the monitor as to who they will kill.

 _Yagami: If that's what they're going to do, then there is not much time left. Light, we already know the phone numbers of these board members, don't we? I don't care who we call. I need to reach one of these men and have them stop these murders._

 _Please hold on. That will cause suspicion. It would mean the investigation caught up to them three days after they were contacted by Aiber. Also, it would make it far more unlikely that we would be able to discover who the real Kira might be. We can't afford such a huge setback, seeing how far we've come._

I need some method…perhaps it would be possible to continue the investigation and still prevent the murders? A compromise of sorts, between myself and the Task force…but what exactly could we do? I'm not sure -

 **Light: Ryuzaki, if one of these seven men is in fact Kira, would it be safe to say that if I try calling one of them, the odds of that person actually being Kira would be one in seven?**

 _I'm thinking there could be more than one Kira among them; a probability of two in seven at most._

The killings have a very schizophrenic feel; unlike Light and Misa, who each had a very specific MO, this killer is far more sporadic. What are you up to, Light? Is this a means for you, as Kira, to pass on your message to one of them? No, you wouldn't make it quite so obvious. Presumably, you already had a method of passing on your instructions to the Yotsuba Kira, prior to forfeiting your memories. Or pretending to forfeit them. Which one is it?

 **Light: If we're prepared to let them know that the investigation is catching up to them, let's place our bets on those odds. Ryuzaki, I'm going to pose as L. Judging from their conversation so far, the one least likely to be Kira, but with the most influence is -** ** _Together: Namikawa!_**

 _Matsuda: Ooi!_

This isn't your conversation, Matsuda. This is between Light and I, our game, our move against the Yotsuba Kira. Impressive, Light. Once again, as I struggled, you jumped in, this time with the solution. You know what I want, sometimes before I know it. You will pose as L…I wonder…

 _If you're going to make a call, please use this phone. It's set up so it can't be traced or tapped._

It's coming to my attention that in all probability I will soon be working alone. Yagami, Mogi and Matsuda will want to take action against these men; in which case, Kira's power will pass on, I'm sure of it. Light will still be chained to me, of course, but he will want to work with them, either to further his plans as Kira or to follow his morals. I don't like that scenario. I need to start working on a plan to keep Light on my side, and perhaps to gain another ally in the fight against Kira, one willing to do whatever it takes.

 **Light, on the phone: Is this Reiji Namikawa, head of the Yotsuba Group's marketing department?**

 _Namikawa: Hm, yes. And who is this?_

If Namikawa _is_ the current Kira, he will have no means of discovering where this call came from. I'm paying as close attention as I can; if Light tries to let slip some hint to the Yotsuba Kira…

 **Light: Listen carefully, but don't draw attention to yourself. I am L. I've placed cameras and wiretaps in the meeting room. Even as I speak, I'm recording footage of your entire meeting. The first thing you discussed was Hatori's death. Now you are debating who to kill next; am I correct. If you are not Kira or if you are not someone who can contact Kira directly, let's make a deal. I need you to delay the deaths of ELF's president and Mr. Zenzai by one month. I doubt it will be difficult for someone of your standing to accomplish that.**

 _Namikawa: Yes. Yes, I see. Right. Go on._

He's played it very calm, throughout the entire call. The others haven't suspected anything. Light is doing just what he always does; exactly what I would do. Only this time, he did it quicker. I'm a little overwhelmed. Light is either Kira and conscious of it, or was Kira and is no longer conscious, but intending to have his abilities returned to him once he's clear of suspicion. There may be a means to determine which one…a test.

 **Light: If you complete your end of the deal and cooperate with our requests, from now on, your crimes - no, not just yours, but everyone's crimes with the exception of Kira's will be pardoned, based on the premise that Kira blackmailed you into participating in these meetings. If you tell the others about this call, they will panic. It would be of no advantage to you. Everyone would be arrested immediately. But that's not my intention. I'm planning to go one-on-one against Kira. Listen. If I win against Kira, you'll be acquitted of all charges. If Kira wins, then you'll be free to carry on with your comfortable life. Just play along with both parties. Staying on the sidelines would be best. You're not in a position to lose anything regardless of who wins in the end. You would only be at a loss if I decided to arrest you right here and now. That's all for now.**

 _Namikawa: Right. I'll see you on Monday, then._

Truly impressive, Light. He's spared those lives; Namikawa does precisely what he says, spares those mens' lives, and focuses their future actions on trying to find me. Which will be to our advantage. The Yotsuba group is taken care of, and to my advantage. The problem is ended, the task force's anger has subsided. Thanks to him. I don't know if I can proceed with this investigation without you, Light. I need to test you.

 _That went well. You really are quite amazing, Light. Not only did you manage to delay the killings but you also set up Namikawa as a potential mole for us. Sounded exactly like the sort of thing I would do. And you thought of it quicker than I did. At this rate, if I end up dying somehow, it's quite possible that you would be capable of succeeding me._

If I do end up dying, there are already quite a few in place to succeed me. Most likely M or N. M or N…I still haven't made that decision. In any case, my purpose isn't to truly suggest that Light become my successor, but to see how he will respond to that concept. Because no one else knows about M and N. More importantly, if Light is Kira, there are two possibilities; either, he's just pretending not to remember, or his power has passed on and he is truly innocent at the moment. Either way, he will have arranged for the power to return to him and kill me as soon as possible. Free from suspicion, he could proceed to act as Kira while operating as L.

 **Light: What? Why are you being so morbid? There isn't time for that. We only have one month to figure out Kira's identity and gather evidence against him to prove it. This is only the beginning.**

 _Yes, but you were the one who first noticed the connection between Yotsuba and Kira. You actually might be more capable than I am. I honestly believe you could take this on. Tell me, if I should die, would you take over for me as L?_

If he is Kira and just playing innocent, he's sure to say yes. It's a simple test, really. If Light truly has forgotten his time as Kira, then he'll say he's flattered, but he can't be me; he can't lock himself away from the world. His goal is to become a police officer, not a shut-in private detective. So Light, what's it gonna be?

 **Light: What are you talking about? As long as we're joined by these, we'd die together anyway.**

A strange way of putting it. Ever since I bound us together with the cuffs, Light's position has been that somehow, our fates are joined. It reminds me of an old story…wherein two people who commit a murder together are taking a trolley car ride, stuck together straight to the end of the line, and the final stop is the cemetery. I suppose he's right, I am being morbid. Then, I hear Light move as if startled; he's looking at me, and I know at once that he's seeing my thoughts, somehow; his uncanny ability to read me like a book. He knows me too well.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to tell everyone what you're really thinking right now. He thinks that if I am Kira, then there are two possibilities. Either I'm just pretending I'm not him and putting on an act, or Kira's power has passed on from me to someone else, and I have no memory that I was ever Kira in the first place. He's trying to determine which, if either, is the truth. The first theory, if I am putting on an act, he will never remove these handcuffs. No, even if I wasn't pretending to be innocent, I'm sure he still wouldn't take them off. Ryuzaki still believes that I'm Kira. Even if that power had been passed on to someone else, he thinks that I would have planned to have it returned to me once I'm safe from suspicion. In other words, I wasn't being controlled at all. He thinks it was a plan to pass on the power and arrange for it to come back to me once I've been cleared.**

I don't know what to do with this, really. Even when I think I know Light, well enough to provoke him one way or another, he turns around and surprises me yet again. I gave him two options; he took a third. He won't accept or decline. My test is invalid.

 _Impressive. You figured out exactly what I've been thinking all this time._

 **Light: Ryuzaki's theory is that once I steal L's title, I would become Kira again.**

 _Correct._

Or perhaps before. The Task force members are all on your side; they're all completely under your spell, and see me as untrustworthy and dangerous. They'd probably prefer to have you in charge, over me. Watari, of course, would never accept it; and even if you killed him, you'll never see Wammy's coming…

 **Light: Taking on the identity of L, having the power to control the police in every country, while being Kira in secret. It's ideal. And you're thinking I could do it, no, that I would do it. That's what you're saying, isn't it?**

 _Yes._

There's no point trying to hide my thoughts from Light anymore. He sees through any attempt I make to hide myself. I might as well be stripped naked around him at all times. But Light, though you may not know it, I see you just as clearly. The ugliest, dirtiest parts of you, the ones that everyone else is blind to.

 **Light: But what about now? I told you I don't want your title. That should prove even to you that I'm not putting on an act, shouldn't it?**

 _If this is all an act and you are trying to steal my identity, there's no chance you would be foolish enough to reveal your plan in front of everyone. Wouldn't you agree?_

The only way the test would have worked was if Light either agreed or disagreed. By talking aloud about what Kira would do in this situation, he's outdone me yet again.

 **Light: Ryuzaki…**

He put his hand on my shoulder, and turned me around to face him. I've avoided looking at him this entire time, judging only by his voice; I've gotten to the point where I don't need to study Light's reactions anymore, I know him far too well. I can guess, based on his voice, what his reactions will be.

Now, he's holding my shoulders, looking into my eyes. We're lost to the world, just the two of us; he's gazing straight at me, begging, pleading with me to finally give in. He wants me to see the _real him._ That's the problem, Light. I do. I have.

 **Light: Do you think that I'm actually capable of becoming a murderer? Kira? Even after I help you catch him? Do I seem like that kind of person to you?**

 _Yes, you do. I've always thought so._

Even when you aren't Kira, even if you lacked his memories…from the first moment I heard you speak, I knew that you were indeed the kind of person to become a murderer. You have just the right temperament. You match Kira achingly well.

He punches my face again; I respond with a kick to his. An eye for an eye. So we're to go at it again, are we Light? This time, I know I will come out on top.

 _Matsuda: OK, break it up! Once is enough! It was a draw, so let's just leave it as an even match, OK?_

He's pushed us away from each other; I feel disoriented and annoyed. Light isn't looking at me. He's bitter at how raw I make him feel. I can congratulate myself this much; when Light lays my worst parts out for everyone to see, I don't sulk.

 **Light: Yeah, you're right. Anyway, let's focus on catching the Kira that's in front of us right now. As long as I have the handcuffs on, you shouldn't have any complaints.**

 _I suppose so. We only have a month so there's no time to get distracted._

Honestly, I don't think it will even take a month to catch the Yotsuba Kira. He's far too careless and obvious with his methods. Of course, if we did things according to the task force's will, this case would go on forever.

 _Yagami: Ryuzaki…we have plenty of footage from this meeting. Can't we use that as evidence against those seven men and prevent the murders of other criminals?_

Here we go again.

 _Unfortunately, no. At the moment, we're not certain if Kira is among this seven men. If all they have is a tenuous connection with him, then Kira will kill them as soon as they are arrested. WE have to be absolutely sure that Kira is among them so there's no point in detaining them now. And even if he does turn out to be one of them, it would still be quite difficult to determine who the culprit is. I believe it's still far to early for us to make a move._

 _Yagami: Hold on. At the same time, we can't say that he is definitely not among the seven. That means there's a chance the killings would stop if we take this opportunity to arrest them._

 **Light: I think dad's right. There is a chance. We have to act on it.**

I've come to a decision. The task force have made their position clear. They will no longer be willing to cooperate with my goals. They don't see eye to eye with my methods or my theories. I knew this moment would come. Touta Matsuda, Soichiro Yagami, and Kanzo Mogi…you're all free to pursue Kira however you see fit. You can use the task force headquarters, and work with me if it takes your fancy, but from here on out we part ways. Yagami is too moral, Matsuda too impulsive. No real advances can be made on the Kira investigation with them impeding my decisions.

 _Excuse me. But I think from now on, I should go after Kira by myself. You can use these headquarters as you wish. I'll also be here, but we will be working independently. You can conduct your investigation under your own direction. Feel free to arrest these men if you like. I will be carrying on my own investigation. We'll only get into arguments if we don't split up and act separately at this point. This is for the best._

 _Yagami: Are you saying you're going to figure out who Kira is by any means necessary?_

 _Yes._

Any means necessary. I'm chained to Light, no matter what, and I intend to work with him, to use his brilliance…Wedy and Aiber will be available, along with Watari and all the resources of Wammy's house, to act as I see fit. And yet even with all of this, we may need another element…something I've been thinking about, ever since the night that Taro Matsui 'died'…

 _This case will never be solved unless we capture Kira himself. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't say that preventing more deaths is pointless. But if we don't uncover the entire truth once and for all, Kira will only appear again and the number of victims will continue to increase. That's why I bellve it's more important to find out who Kira really is. As I've been saying, I'm opposed to arresting those seven men. If you want to do so, then you'll have to take responsibility for it. I will pursue Kira on my own. We only have one month. I wonder who will succeed._

There's something else I need. Something that none of these men can offer, that no police officer could bring to the table, and no criminal could successfully pull off. Plausibility. Inventiveness. And determination.

 **Light: Wait, Ryuzaki, where are you going?**

 _To Amane's room. Sorry, I know you're on your father's side in all this, but I can't remove these handcuffs. I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with me._

Misa Amane. M-Kira. You'll be the key, again. The key to keeping Light on my side. And the key, I believe, to catching the Yotsuba Kira. This Kira is a simple opportunist. He won't be fooled by mind games, but he will overlook Misa Amane. He won't suspect her, and she's already in the front door as Yotsuba's new spokesperson. It's only a matter of dangling the proper carrot in front of her. Which I happen to be attached to, 24/7.

 _Misa: Light! I didn't know we were supposed to have a date - oh, right. I should have known._

 _Misa Amane._

I move as close to her as possible, examining her reactions. Amane is a professional actress; her performance can at times be better, even, than Light's. And I don't know her as well.

 _Tell me, do you love Light from the bottom of your heart?_

 _Misa: Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course I do._

Startled by my closeness and the personal nature of the question, but not even a moment's hesitancy in admitting her feelings. Just as always.

 _But you also worship Kira, don't you?_

 _Well, yeah._

 _So then, if you had to choose between Light and Kira, who would you pick?_

I've wondered that for a while…who are you really in love with, Misa? The 'god' who killed your parents, or the intelligent police officer to-be?

 _Misa: What? That's obvious. Of course it's gonna be Light! I'm really grateful to Kira, and I want to meet him someday in person, but that's not true love. I'd definitely choose Light._

 _But your precious Light is planning to catch Kira. Isn't that right?_

 **Light: Well, yes. Of course I am.**

Oh, Light. Once again, I've succeeded in baffling you completely. You still haven't got me figured out 100%. Amane's wrapped her arms around his; she holds him like he belongs to her, and she'll never, ever let him go. Light simply looks baffled, both by me and by her.

 _He says he wants to catch Kira. Now, what will you do?_

 _Misa: Well, if that's what Light say,s then I'm gonna support him no matter what._

Excellent. Just what I'd hoped. Amane has plenty of initiative; it's her best quality, the thing I admired the most about M-Kira. Her ability to act, whenever necessary. She's the perfect ally, really; she'll take action, 100%, and her behavior won't be questioned.

 _I see. So if you were given the opportunity to work with Light on this investigation, would you take the offer?_

 **Light: What? Ryuzaki!**

 _Misa: Yeah! Of course I would! I'd do anything I could to help Light._

She sure likes saying his name. Light looks baffled, even horrified; of course, even after all this time, he still sees Misa as a useless fool. She found out his identity in less time than I did; she stood up under three days of torture and fifty days of confinement; she's dealt with countless stalkers and murder attempts, and as M-Kira had even more power than the original. Light has many strengths as an investigator, but he is just as easily fooled by appearances as anyone else on the task force.

 **Light: Wait! Hold on a second, where are you going with this?**

 _I'm planning to have Aiber pose as Eraldo Coil again. He'll tel the Yotsuba members that while he was investigating L, he discovered that Misa Amane might know who he is. He'll also tell them that L brought her in for questioning under the suspicion that she was the second Kira._

 _Misa: That part is true._

Wedy, Aiber, Misa, Light, Watari, and I. The new task force. Flashier, perhaps, than the old one. Amane seems very eager to jump at the opportunity; she's listening with rapt attention, eager to hear what use she can be to Light's work.

 _If the Yotsuba group believes that Misa could be their lead to finding L, then they'll say they want to meet in person to discuss their advertising campaign. They'll use that opportunity to question her. Thanks to Matsuda's screwup, they may be already considering Misa as their new spokesperson, so this could work._

 _Misa: Yeah, right!_

 **Light: We can't do that.**

You're really going out of your way to interfere with me. Of course, if you do still remember your identity, then it means this plan is exactly in opposition to what you want. You _want_ those men to be arrested for disgracing Kira's name, and so that the power can pass on either to you again or to someone new.

 _Misa: Why not?_

 **Light: This plan is too risky. Who knows what would happen to you?**

That just proves that you don't know Misa very well at all. She has never shown the slightest sign of caring about her own wellbeing. Her own safety means nothing to her; appealing to her survival instincts will get you nowhere.

 _Misa: Wow, does that mean you're worried about me? Yay! But don't worry, I won't mind doing something like this if it's for you, Light._

 **Light: Listen, Misa. If they suspect you might know who L really is, we don't know how far they would be willing to go to get that information.**

Still harping on that point. He thinks he's explaining this concept to a rather stupid child, like she still doesn't get how much danger she'll truly be in. I think she probably knows more about danger than you do, Light. You've done your killings from a distance; you've never been involved in anything dangerous. You didn't watch your parents killed before your eyes; you've never been attacked by a stalker, or tortured for three days straight for information. Between the two of you, who's the naive one?

 _Misa: No problemo! I promise I won't say anything, even if they torture me!_

 _I can attest to that._

That's why she's so ideal. I know that she won't break, with the proper motivation. There's nothing Yotsuba can hand her that she hasn't seen before.

 **Light: But Kira can control his victims' actions before their death! There's a good chance he might try and manipulate her and reveal what she knows and then kill her! Also, if he does manage to kill L, he won't have any use for Misa. He'll kill her to keep her silent!**

 _Misa; Ah, I don't like the sound of that._

I think what she's reaction to is the idea of revealing information - the part of the statement that would put Light in danger. And in any case, I don't think Light is really concerned for her wellbeing, outside of his personal morality (if he really doesn't remember being Kira). If he does remember being Kira, he'll try anything to prevent me from using this method.

 _Light. You forget that if we win against Kira, Misa won't die. Besides, as long as we are handcuffed together, you and I share the same fate. If I die, so will you. If that happens, Misa is the one who would grieve most of all. Either we lose and both die together, or we successfully catch Kira. Which is it?_

 _Misa: We catch Kira! I would never dream about living in a world without Light_

 _Yes, that would be dark._

I've been waiting for an opportunity to use such a pun for a long time. The English word for light, of course; I've thought of many, but never had a real chance to before. I can feel him, by my side, angry and still convinced that this is some kind of a game, that I can't be serious.

 **Light: Cut it out! This is crazy!**

 _But we're running out of time. And I'm stressing to get desperate. As for Misa Amane, I've turned to her because I know her bravery and love for you is boundless._

There's no better candidate, really. My words are precisely what Amane needs to hear; she starts tearing up. I've made her very happy. I turn away, quickly; so much emotion makes me a bit uncomfortable. Amane really is charming; it's always rather refreshing to talk to her. No need for mind games, no need to read between the lines. Everything about her is completely out in the open.

 _Misa: Do you really mean it? Oh, no. I think I totally misunderstood you all this time. I even called you a pervert. But you actually do understand how I feel, don't you?_

 _Yes. Misa is indisputably the most perfect and worthy woman for Light._

Amane needs positive reinforcement, as much of it as possible. She eats up the spotlight, she begs for love and approval from her chosen 'knight'. She's desperate for some kind of affirmation; for months she's languished in Light's indifference to her. I sometimes wonder how Light's able to resist her so completely. She's completely devoted to him, energized, happy to do what he asks…ah, but that's not a _challenge,_ is it Light? You're used to people throwing themselves at your feet, ready to worship and acknowledge your intelligence and greatness…so another pretty girl willing to do anything for you, that's nothing to you.

 _Misa: Yay! You're such a sweetie, thank you Ryuzaki!_

She kissed me on the cheek. I've never been kissed before, anywhere, by anyone. It's a startling sensation. Like a pat on the back or a handshake, but even warmer, gentler. I touched the spot, wondering. Romance and passion and love, all the things I've spent my life avoiding, never even considering. Is that what it's like then, to be kissed and approved of by a friendly soul? I look at Amane and wonder. If you weren't a mass murderer…

 _I could actually fall for you._

 _Misa: Let's not go that far. But you could maybe be a friend of mine. Would that be OK?_

I recall the moment I told Light he was my first ever friend. It seems that my friends and my enemies must always be one and the same. Odd that the second Kira is the first person to ever kiss me and the second to call me 'friend', after the first Kira…perhaps it's only for the best, since I can never really get attached. If my friends are my enemies, and my enemies must fall…then I never will have…

 _Yes. So now I've gained yet another friend._

 _Misa: Yes, of course. Any friend of Light's is a friend of mine as well._

She grasped our hands and pulled us into a circle; I felt Light grasping my other hand, looking at Misa in annoyance. Amane's optimism and passion is so infectious, I don't know how he manages to remain so sour around her.

 _Misa: And of course, I would never think of betraying any of my friends. With our powers combined, we'll arrest Kira!_

 _Unfortunately, Light's taking a different investigative approach from us. He'll be working with his father and the others. I'm afraid it will just be you and I._

I've got you now, Light. You have to stay close to Misa, in order to get my real name and order my death. And either way, if Misa wants us to work together to catch Kira, then that's what we're going to do. There's no way you can resist both of us, and Misa-Misa always gets her way, in the end.

 _Misa: Huh? What's that about?_

 **Light: C'mon, L, now you're just playing dirty. You're leaving me with no other choice but to join your -**

You always have a choice, Light. You had a choice when you attained your killing powers, not to use them, but you still did. Everyone has an option, and I'm not going to force you. Misa, on the other hand…

 _No, that's quite all right._

 _Misa: What are you talking about? Of course he'll be joining us!_

Misa, Light and I…Misa's the one with the people skills, the ability to pose as anything, to anyone at any time, and gain their trust. Light has the mind, the knowledge of Kira's powers, the unstoppable worth ethic. I have my knowledge of criminals and the resources of Wammy's house at my disposal. This could be fun.

 **Light: That's not it, either! I've been opposed to this investigation since the beginning, it's too dangerous for her!**

 _Misa: Oh, Light. You're so sweet. Thank you for worrying about me. But please let me do this. I want to be useful to you somehow. If I can be more useful, then maybe you'll love me even more. And besides, I would gladly die if it was for you, Light._

She's so eager to die for him. That may make her act impulsively, but it also means that she'll be willing to take action in ways that others will not. And I've noticed that even though Light's under the impression that he can mould her to his will, if he orders her to do something she doesn't wish, she'll simply go her own way anyways. That's what she did as M-Kira - no doubt he wanted her to stay away from him to deflect suspicion, but since she didn't feel like it, she followed him anyway. Even if Light tries to direct Misa away from this course, she's set on it now, and will act accordingly, no matter what he says or does. He underestimates her, just like everybody else. And that's incredibly valuable. I've often found that women get overlooked, that enemies easily underestimate them because of cultural ideas about gender, and that allows them to act where men cannot. Naomi Misora, Wedy, now Misa Amane. I've always preferred female agents for this very reason.

Neither Wedy nor Misora have ever kissed me on the cheek, though. Being in love, together with someone else who cares for your wellbeing, it must be nice. If I were to really have such feelings - not that I could permit them, but I wonder, would it be with someone like Misa Amane? Eager to please, energetic, optimistic and joyful? Or perhaps I would prefer someone more like me. Quiet, serious, intellectual. Someone, perhaps, like Light.

Yes, that's it. If I were to fall for someone…if perhaps I've already fallen for someone, that's who it would be.


	20. Chapter 20

_Sunday October 24 2004_

Over the last week, we've worked hard to lay our trap for the Yostuba Kira. At first, it was just Misa, Light and I, pursuing my method, but soon enough as the other officers came to realize the impracticality of their plan, we gained their support as well. Mogi is now Amane's 'manager'. Aiber, as Coil, has informed the Yotsuba Seven of how I questioned her. Now all that remains is to properly prepare her for the interview. She's not being particularly cooperative, and I feel I'm losing my patience with her.

 _All right. Let's try again from the top._

 _Aiber: Tell me, Misa, is it true you once said that you came to Tokyo in order to meet Kira?_

 _Misa: Whaaaat?_

She looks like a cartoon character. I give her a bop on the head to get her attention. She's a professional actress; surely she knows better.

 _Misa, please stop overacting. It looks too cheesy, not to mention fake._

 _Misa: Huh? But I thought that was a realistic performance._

If she screws up like that in front of the Yotsuba Kira, he'll likely kill her. I'll never hear the end of it from Light if that happens. And I don't think I'd like it either.

 _Just do it again._

 _Misa: Whatever you say, oh-so-great-director._

She may not care about whether she lives or dies, whether the investigation succeeds or not, but I do. And I won't have her jeopardizing it.

 _If you don't get serious about this, I'll kick you._

Misa Amane. The fate of the world may lie in your hands. I've entrusted you to handle this audition, and I'm worried you're not properly motivated. Light hasn't been any help; every opportunity he's had, he's asked me to forget about including Misa in the investigation, even when we'd locked the plan into place. But still, with all his objections, he's by my side.

Misa's away at her interview now; we're alone. In a few hours, we'll know, either way, whether she succeeded or…

 _Matsuda: I wonder if Misa-Misa's all right. Maybe we should have wired her or something to track her movements._

Perhaps that would have been a good idea. I'm still suspicious of Amane; she could be faking her lost memories, and every second she's away from supervision is another chance to kill me…but still, Light can't give her the order, not while I can see him. He's lost in thought, investigating the Yotsuba Kira along with the rest of us. He looks deeply upset, by whatever he's discovering. Just the usual disdain for the crudeness of the Yotsuba imposter, or something more?

 _Evening._

Amane's returned. There's something different about her, I can tell. Light's asked me yet again for permission to cancel the mission. This time, I've decided to permit it…I want to see what Amane will do. I'm fairly certain she'll choose to go her own path, regardless.

 _Misa: Oh, I'm exhausted_

 _How'd it go?_

She immediately sat in Light's lap. He looks uncomfortable. I understand; unwanted physical contact gets on my nerves as well.

 _Mogi: Yotsuba agreed to hire Misa on as their spokesperson for the new ad campaign._

 _I see. That's good to hear._

I knew they would; just watching their behavior towards her when they arrived at the task fore headquarters, it was clear most of them were already infatuated.

 _Misa: And I made sure to give them my cell phone number. Would you believe three out of the seven guys already messaged me asking for a private date? So now I accept their invitations and then investigate them, right? Oh, it's going exactly as planned._

That would be ideal; and exactly what I wanted. A way to trick the Yotsuba Kira into opening up…he'd never see Amane coming. But now is the time to let Light speak his piece.

 **Light: No. The plan's getting cancelled right now.**

 _Misa: Huh? But why? Everything's been going so smoothly up until now._

She gives off the impression of being very malleable…But she'll keep going until she gets what she wants. Already, she's protested Light's order; she sits on his lap without asking permission, she'll date these men to get information despite his objections.

 **Light: If we go any further, you'll be in danger. You can still appear in their commercials, but from now on, you should deny that you were suspected of being the second Kira, and were detained by L. Mogi will continue to be your bodyguard, but you'll be working only as a celebrity.**

 _Misa: If that's what you want, Light, then that's what I'll do._

She may say that, but her tone is much like the one she used when we first questioned her about her involvement with Kira. When she denied knowing anything about the second Kira. She's lying. And Light can't tell. Which suits me just fine.

 _Misa: Well, I'm feeling pretty tired. Tomorrow's shoot is bright and early, so I better get some sleep. Hey Light, wanna come sleep with me tonight?_

 **Light: What are you talking about?**

She's talking about sleeping with you, genius. Brilliant in deduction, an expert at playing mind games, quite skilled at faking social roles for the sake of public appearances, but when it comes to love, you're rather dim. Or really just…cute, almost. Naive.

 _Misa: Just kidding! You're saving it for after we catch Kira, right? You don't have to be shy about it._

 _Yes, Light. There's no need to be shy._

He's so young, it's easy to forget his age. Have you ever been with another that way? Do you even _want_ to?

 **Light: I'm not being shy!**

 _No need to be so serious, either._

I've been chained to Light, at this point, for over two months. Every night, I've watched him sleeping; occasionally I've joined him, overwhelmed by sheer exhaustion. He's a very quiet sleeper, but a very regular one. Every single night, the same time, the same position, the same pre-bed ritual. Every morning, the same time, the same breakfast. He doesn't even need a clock; he just knows. He's a very even sleeper, almost silent; breathes softly, never tosses or turns. I sleep as little as possible, and when I do lay down, I spend hours tossing over, unable to stop the thoughts from charging through my mind. I expected Light to complain, when we first started sharing a bed, but he hasn't said a word about it; he just lies down, goes to sleep, and seems completely indifferent to any disturbance. It's remarkable, really.

I've been avoiding this kind of living arrangement my whole life, because I knew being shackled to another person would impede my ability to work. And yet here I am, chained every day to my top suspect, and making more progress with him around than I did without…I'm starting to forget what life was like without Light around. Did I really never feel that shackle on my wrist? Was there a time when my private thoughts were a mystery, to everyone around me, unless I chose to share them?

Light may have told Amane to cancel the plan, but I have no doubt she will continue to act on her own. Amane will be able to give me useful hints, as to the identity of the Yotsuba Kira; she'll gather information regardless of what Light says. This will allow me to facilitate a trap for the Yotsuba Kira. More importantly, to learn how he commits his crimes. Even Light has come to agree with me that that's the main priority. Perhaps, if Amane is persistent, we'll know the truth in a week or so.

 _Monday October 25 2004_

 _A recording of Higuchi, on Misa Amane's cell phone: I'm Kira, so in order to make you trust me, I'll prove that I'm him. I'll stop killing criminals for the time being, then cone you are fully convinced I'm the real thing, you and I can get married._

 _Misa: And so, based on what he said, Higuchi is Kira!_

Misa Amane. You've really outdone yourself.


	21. Chapter 21

_Monday October 25 2004_

Misa Amane has performed even better than I expected. In the course of two days, she's tricked the Yotsuba Kira into a confession. It's Higuchi, not that I really care all that much. It could really be any one of them. She's asked him to prove his identity by agreeing to cease killing criminals. If the killing of criminals stops now, then there is no doubt that Higuchi is the one with Kira's powers. However, I knew Amane would do almost anything for Light, but do you really think she'd go this far? If criminals do stop dying after this, it will make it difficult to determine the critical element; how Kira conducts his murders. I have to think of a plan.

 **Light: Misa, how did you get Higuchi to confess?**

 _Misa: Easy. The guy's totally in love with me. All I had to do was tell him I'd marry him if he was really Kira. Plus, I managed to convince him that I'm the second Kira._

No doubt with a display of your abilities. If you've resumed killing again, then why haven't you killed me, Amane? You've had the opportunity, since you snuck away from Mogi so cleverly last night to get this confession. I'll have to be more careful about you in the future; you can't be left unsupervised. From this moment on, Amane, you don't leave my sight. Maybe I'll have to chain myself to you as well.

 **Light: Misa! You idiot! Didn't I tell you to deny all that?**

 _Misa: But, but now we know Higuchi is Kira, right? So what's the problem/ Can't we just catch him?_

 _I suppose this is what you would call a victory, right Matsuda?_

The task force will be clamoring for Higuchi's arrest, as soon as the proof appears. And if that happens, it'll start all over again. This is exactly what I was afraid of. She's made it simple for them, handed them an easy bad guy to capture, but -

 **Light: But right now, we still don't know exactly how he kills his victims, do we?**

 _Yes, that's what I was thinking. Before we move to arrest Higuchi, I want to find out how he kills people._

Right on time, Light. You're becoming more attuned to me with every passing day; or perhaps I am growing more attuned to you. We seem to slip into each other; the lines are blurring, and I'm not sure how much of this is my plan and how much is Light's.

 **Light: After criminals stop dying, we won't be able to figure it out, unless we come up with another idea. Isn't that right?**

 _Yes. At any rate, even if we do arrest Higuchi, we're not going to do it until we are certain that criminals have stopped dying. Let me think for a moment._

In order to see how Higuchi kills, we need to put cameras and wiretaps in every available space he might use. We'll need to maintain surveillance on him. Surveying Light didn't reveal anything, but Light is far more careful than Higuchi. Still, if Higuchi does hold off killing criminals to appease Amane, then he won't be using his power for some time. We'll need to provoke him. The first step is getting the adequate surveillance on him, which means I'll need to call my burglary expert.

According to Wedy, Higuchi has an extremely high-tech security system. He recently created a dampening room that shuts out any electronic waves. Surveying him inside his home isn't going to be very practical, at least not for discovering his killing method. We're going to force him to leave the home in order to kill a specific target, which means Wedy can simply install cameras inside his six cars. We'll watch him from there, track him to specific locations, and see how he kills.

There's something else crucially important to establish, before we go through with this plan, before we can learn once and for all what Kira's method of murder truly is. That is, what will happen to Light and Misa once we catch Higuchi? For that matter, what will happen to Higuchi?

To reiterate, my current theory concerning the Kira case is that while the 'Kira' power can be held by more than one person at a time, it can also be transferred and the owner will subsequently lose all knowledge of that ability and everything they did with it. There are quite a few theses for how this might work - is Kira really some kind of separate entity, an inhuman presence that moves from person to person of its own accord, like a sentient virus? Or is this all just part of Light Yagami's plan? Because the thought of an inhuman, sentient virus-like being that kills as Kira - a shinigami, perhaps - it frightens me. It's depressing, and terrifying. As ill-advised as it might be, I need to run my theory by the only people capable of making me feel comfortable anymore.

 _Light, I'm sorry to keep coming back to this topic. I'll just get right to the point._

 **Light: What is it?**

 _Do you remember - killing anyone, I mean?_

A surprise attack like this, I might catch him off guard. I suppose he could lie, even when on the spot…but it will make me feel better to hear it from his own lips.

 **Light: Huh? Are you still going on about that? Look, I'm not Kira! How many times do I -**

 _I just want you to answer the question. Well, do you remember?_

He's angry with me again, but gaining better control of his reactions. He's heard my premise of his guilt many times by now; he should be getting used to it. In any case, his response will no doubt be negative, and that should allow me to explain my thoughts.

 **Light: No, I don't.**

 _Misa, what about you?_

 _Misa: I don't remember. How could I? Cause I'm not Kira._

Denial, as always. Both of them have vehemently denied their guilt, despite the evidence to the contrary. Amane held up under three days of torture, Light under weeks of confinement…there's no getting a confession out of them, I'm aware of that by now. But I need to hear it - I need to have Light understand why I can't just arrest Higuchi right away, why we need to try this risky plan which could put our lives in immediate danger.

 _Hm, look Light, please listen to what I'm about to say. I'd like you to throughly analyze my current theory. This could determine the way in which we end up catching Kira. Light Yagami used to be Kira. Kira's power has somehow passed on to another person. Light Yagami now has no memory of every being Kira. I need your analysis based on these assumptions. Do you think you can do that for me?_

 **Light: Yeah, I'll give it a try.**

He's very controlled, trying to keep his anger in check, to avoid getting emotional. He's willing to accept my premise and address the case as though it were just another mystery, a puzzle to solve. I always saw so much of myself in you, Light. You're becoming like me; am I becoming like you, too?

 _Light Yagami used to be Kira. Kira's power has somehow passed onto another person. Was that because Light Yagami wanted it to happen, or waster someone else in control of Light, lurking in the background, who gave him the power? Was it that person who passed Light's power on to someone else?_

 **Light: Given your premise, it would be my will.**

He sounds like someone who's been trying to fool himself. I recall Light's research into the Yotsuba Kira; his attitude these past few days. After months of being the eager, energetic and supportive 'cheerleader of the task force', as I dubbed him in my mind, he's been growing sadder, more serious, very pensive. Perhaps - if my premise is correct and he has no memory - he's coming to realize that I'm right, that he did indeed use to be Kira. And given what he's said…

 _Yes, of course. If there is a third party, with the ability to bestow or transfer Kira's power, and they didn't want their method to be discovered, it makes no sense that they would wait so long to transfer it from you to the next Kira. If we believed that this was the work of some being watching us from above, then we'd have to accept that they are impossible to catch. Not to mention, I'd already e dead. Or at the very least, I'm being made a fool of by eternally dancing in the palm of someone's hand. It's highly unlikely that such a being exists._

Even if Light Yagami was Kira…

 _Kira's power can only be transferred by the will of the person who possess it. Thank you, Light. I can now say that I feel 99% better than before. We'll create a situation where Higuchi will not be able to pass on his power to anyone else. We'll have him show us how he kills._

It must be completely controlled, with Light by my side at all times and no means for Higuchi to see him, or become aware of his presence.

 **Light: So what are you gonna do?**

 _I'm going to trick Higuchi using Sakura TV. We'll use the Kira special that Demegawa airs every week. We'll book a three hour time slot. It'll be announced that Kira's identity will be revealed near the end of the special._

 _Mtasuda: Would anyone actually buy that, though? This is Sakura TV, after all. For all we know, Higuchi may not even watch that program._

It would be a problem, Matsuda, if we were going to leave it all up to chance. But we cannot do that. Everything in this plan must be controlled; timed precisely and monitored, with no room for error. In short, we'll -

 **Light: We'll get Namikawa to call him and say "This is bad. Turn on your TV" That should be enough to get him watching. Higuchi will buy it once he realizes that the special guest on TV is someone who knows his secret.**

 _Matsuda: Oh, I get it! So we'll be using Aiber, then. He will reveal that he was a spy all along!_

 _No. I'm afraid you are incorrect. We will not be using Aiber. Whoever appears on the show has to be someone Higuchi believes he'll be able to kill. In other words, it has to be someone whose name he can look up easily._

Our sacrificial lamb of sorts. Naturally, we'll put forth every effort to ensure that his _real_ name isn't used…Matsuda still doesn't get it, despite the number of hints I've been dropping, but Light and Misa already in sync with what I want, following my line of thought as if setting a trap for a serial killer were child's play.

 **Light: You're the only one who can do it.**

 _Misa: Matsu!_

Yes, I believe Matsuda will do this. To Higuchi, he is Taro Matsui, Amane's supposedly dead manager. He will first attempt to kill him using that name; when it fails, he will go to 'Matsui's' place of business, Yoshida productions, to try and find his real name. We will place our agents there, prepared to arrest him once we've spotted his killing method. Wedy will ensure that. Again, every aspect must be under control.

 **Light: Higuchi probably thinks that you were listening in on their meeting, and overheard their plans to kill people. It would make sense that Misa's manager who he thought dead is the one revealing the secret.**

 _That's right. We'll have Sakura TV use a voice filter and a frosted glass to protect your identity. Higuchi will probably realize from the announcment and the silhouette that it's the manager, Taro Matsui. And just to make sure, we will have the studio mess up and accidentally reveal your face from behind the frosted glass. Until the show ends, the announcer will keep saying they will reveal the full name of the person who's acting as Kira._

 **Light: Higuchi would feel cornered. He'd have no choice but to find out the manager's name as soon as possible. We can anticipate what actions he'll take.**

 _We'll witness his killing method. After that, we'll arrest him. There is one potential problem with this plan. If Higuchi can kill simply by looking at someone's face, just like the second Kira, MAtsuda will die._

 **Light: But considering the fact that you are still alive and how he's pursuing Misa, I doubt that's the case.**

 _At any rate, we're only going to do this once criminals stop dying. We'll have to wait for two or three days to see whether or not that happens. In the meantime, Matsuda will have to decide if he wants to go through with this plan._

I can feel Light's mind clicking into place beside mine. As though we're truly thinking as one now; this is something both of us can get behind. We've worked together in the past, to come up with plans and lay traps, in those rare moments when our wills happened to coincide. This, for whatever reason, suits both of our purposes. And we're laying out the plan, as if it's something we'd agreed on beforehand. As though he's reading my mind. We're becoming one person almost; I think, he speaks. I act, he acts. I cannot go anywhere without him, as long as we're chained together. This plan, that we've come up with together…how much if it is truly mine? How much of what I've done, since I've let Light in so close to me, closer than anyone else has ever gotten, has even been my own will?

No. I can't start thinking like that. Light and I - the question of what will happen to us, it will have to wait until after we catch Higuchi. Still, my mind reverts nonetheless…If we stop Kira's power from passing on, if we successfully figure out how he kills, and confirm my theory that Light and Misa no longer remember being Kira - especially if something similar happens to Higuchi…if somehow we are able to put an end to Kira, once and for all, and due to having no memory and no real proof, Light and Misa cannot be convicted, then what? Will I just move on to the next case, like I always do? Put Kira behind bars, prevent his killing power from ever being used again, and move forward with my life, alone?

Can I do so?

 _Thursday October 28 2004_

The killings stopped immediately, the day after Amane requested. Higuchi has been calling her non-stop, ever since then; she's been stalling off his advances while we set up our trap. She seems to find the whole thing a lot of fun. I can tell that Amane holds as much disdain for Higuchi as Light and I do; we're all three of us united in mutual hatred. She and I are rather enjoying this; Light of course takes it all very seriously. I've ensured that Misa is followed and monitored 24/7; I installed wiretaps in Mogi's briefcase and lapel, so that I can monitor her conversations whenever she's out of the headquarters. But she's spent most of the last three days here, enjoying her credit. She's really impressed the officers; to be honest, she's impressed me. She's a great field agent, and good company when she isn't killing people. I need to keep an eye on her; she could kill me at any time.

We've gone out of our way to make the plan airtight. That's where Light comes in handy; he can spot any tiny flaw with the plan, any crack we've overlooked, and correct it. Because he's the first Kira, the crafty one who took care never to leave a stone unturned, he's probably doing a more thorough job than Higuchi deserves. Higuchi doesn't have Light's careful temperament; he's made his complicity fairly obvious from the start. Even creating that soundproof room, it looks so suspicious; Kira's power is obviously not something that's easily detected or observed, so going over the top like that only makes him look guilty. He's such an unworthy opponent. After dueling with Light and Misa, even with my life on the line as it so often was - and perhaps still is - he's such a disappointment, perhaps I'm still clinging onto the remotest possibility of Light still possessing his memories just to give myself someone worthy to play against.

Light's going to pose as me again to make the call to Namikawa, our mole. This time, Misa will be joining us. Since the other task force members are all in their places, ready for tonight's broadcast, it'll just be us three and Watari, along in the task force headquarters. Nearly alone in a huge building with L-Kira and M-Kira. I should be terrified. But with all three of us so united, if just for the time being, it feels more like a night of good fun. Tonight, perhaps, I will finally see how Kira kills. Will this all, at long last, be over?

 _Namikawa: Namikawa speaking._

 **Light: It's L. Before I go on, are you by yourself?**

 _Namikawa: No._

 **Light: Then just act like it's a normal call again.**

Misa and I sit back and watch the show. I've brought sweets; she's brought lipstick. For so long, the position of being L has fallen on my shoulders alone…now I'm letting L-Kira use my name and speak in my place. The myth of Atlas springs to mind…the weight of the world, always on my shoulders, and now I'm letting Light carry some of that burden with me.

 _Namikawa: L, Midou and Shimura are here as well. I'm reasonably certain the neither of them are Kira. In fact, they seem fed up with him at this point. I'll speak for them and say they'll choose to stand back and watch your face-off with Kira, like I plan to._

Light keeps the receiver covered and looks to me for instructions. This is good news; since we already know Higuchi is guilty, having the other Yotsuba members on our side can only be to our advantage.

 _That's fine._

 **Light: Tonight, I'm gonna catch Kira, but I'll need a favor from you.**

 _Namikawa: Hm. Then it's the end for Higuchi._

We didn't say Higuchi was the one. Namikawa is baiting us. He may just have made a lucky guess, he may have attained some proof of his own, but -

 **Light: What? You know that it's him?**

 _Namikawa: Ha! So even the great L can be tricked. Based on your reaction I'm no a hundred percent certain that Higuchi is Kira._

I'm almost tempted to slap my forehead. Light, I've never seen you screw up like that before. I'm not angry, more amused. This isn't a crucial error; we already have Namikawa on our side, and this bit of information isn't going to put Matsuda in any more danger than he is now. But still, to see Light, always so careful and so quick to guess, mess up so crucially. I look to Amane, and we share a smile - amusement at our Light making such a silly error.

 _Misa: Namikawa is pretty smart, huh? But then, I always thought he was by looking at his face. I guess this proves it._

 _No. That was just because Light messed up._

Amane isn't wrong, though; Namikawa is the only one of the Yotsuba eight I ever thought was particularly clever. I also knew that he wasn't the Yotsuba Kira for this very reason; too clever and careful to screw up constantly like Higuchi has. Amane's good at getting the measure of a man. I wonder…she's so perceptive, is it possible she isn't as deceived in Light as I thought she was? That she knows he'll never love her, and is devoted to him regardless?

 **Light: I'm baiting Higuchi with the stage TV special tonight on Sakura TV. A few minutes into the program, I want you to contact Higuchi and tell him to tune in. Do that for me, andI won't go after you or any of the other five. As for the others, Kida, Takahashi and Ooi, if they try to do anything, make sure to stop them.**

 _Namikawa: All right. I understand._

Everything is set in place now. Light recovered from his error beautifully, and the broadcast is set to begin. We've gone over the details of the plan for the hundredth time. There should be no room for error. I can't see how Light or Misa could sabotage my method of exposing Kira's killing power, not while I can see them both at all times. They're standing by my side, Light on my right, Misa on my left, and just as rapt with attention as I am. Neither has said much; we're sitting here alone, and all in the same mood. Tense, but…hopeful.

The broadcast has begun. Matsuda is in danger at every moment, but he's confident and determined, and following our script to a T. Light, Misa and I wrote out what he was to say, and Matsuda memorized it word for word; we drilled through it, recorded it just in case he had to leave, and now he's reciting it all precisely. As long as he doesn't screw up.

 _Sakura MC: So, you are saying one of these people is Kira, right?_

 _Matsuda: Yes. I've got evidence to prove it, too._

Namikawa should have called Higuchi by now. We've sprinkled in just enough details for him to realize, at this point, that the man on TV is talking about him. The next step was to dangle a hint that it's "Taro Matsui", then to break apart the set. A little mishap - seemingly a lucky accident, to Higuchi. He knows now that 'Taro Matsui' is the one trying to expose him. He'll try to use his killing power on him, and as soon as he sees that doesn't work, he'll go to Yoshida productions to find out 'Matsui's' real name. We've planted a fake one there, for him to use; since he needs both a name and a face, he won't kill anyone else with that name by accident. We've set up cameras, wiretaps and agents at Yoshida around the place where Matsuda's fake name is hidden. We won't miss it.

Namikawa called back to confirm; he told Higuchi just what we asked, and added that when the 'mishap' occurred, Higuchi was extremely flustered and hung up the phone right away. It's like he's _trying_ to get caught.

 _Sakura MC: Oh sir, we're terribly sorry for that accident. Are you all right? We can stop if you want._

 _Matsuda: No, I knew I was gonna be in danger going into this. This is for the sake of justice. So I'll see it through to the end even if it means my death._

More of our script, for both of them. The timing is working out just right. By now Higuchi should have tried (I believe it takes Kira about a minute to kill) and failed. He'll reach out to any leads he can find for 'Matsui's' real name. His first attempt will be either Yoshida productions, or…

 _Misa: It's him._

She hangs up the call immediately. Smirks with pleasure at being able to shut Higuchi out. We take a moment, the three of us, to revel in our mutual disgust. He's tried Misa; soon enough, he'll have to leave the house, and we'll be able to monitor him from his car. He responded very quickly; perhaps it takes him even less time than it took Light or Misa to commit his murders. The broadcast goes to commercial; just to make it fun, I've asked them to air as many of Misa's commercials as possible. Seeing the face of the woman he thinks can give him Matsui's real name, the woman who tricked him into slipping up and revealing his identity to us…it seems fitting. Amane has earned the chance to have her cake and eat it too.

Another call comes in, this time from Midou. Apparently, Higuchi called him as well, and asked him to pull a few strings to get the broadcast stopped. Midou was careful to provide plausible reasons for refusing - namely ,that the real Kira among them would just kill Matsui and it'd be over with. He has no choice; he has to kill Matsuda, and to do so he has to find his name. To find his name, he'll have to call Misa's new manager.

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, Mogi is in position in front of Yoshida productions. He just received a call from Higuchi._

 _Yes, it's time for Phase 2. Everything's as planned._

We've placed wiretaps inside of Mogi's phone; soon enough, Higuchi will feel pressured to leave his home and head down to Yoshida productions in person.

 _Higuchi: Mochi! Where's Misa?_

 _Mogi: Oh, Mr. Higuchi! Pleasure to hear from you. I'm sorry but Misa-Misa's taking a much needed vacation right now. She should be back by, uh, tomorrow morning, though. You can reach her then!_

Misa and I share another private smile. Higuchi will keep trying to reach her; this means that he has no reason to kill her, since she could be his best bet at learning Matsuda's real name. Especially as he knows she's the second Kira, who only needs a face to kill.

 _Higuchi: I'm asking you where she is now!_

 _Mogi: Well, that's private information. She's requested that no one know where she is. I'm very sorry. I'll have you contact her first thing tomorrow._

 _Higuchi: Do you know if Misa's former manager was an entertainer at some point?_

This time it's Light and I who share the feeling. It's almost comical how terrible Higuchi is at hiding the fact that he's Kira. He didn't even come up with a plausible cover story for why he needed to reach Misa, or why he wanted to know about Matsui. If he didn't have Kira's power, I wouldn't touch his case; there'd be no challenge, no thrill. Playing against him is like tormenting a mouse in a cage. It hardly seems worth it.

 _Higuchi: I'm talking about Taro Matsui!_

 _Mogi: Oh! I was only recently hired so I don't know much about him. If you need some information, I can let you talk to someone from the office. I just remembered, everyone's in Okinawa at the moment. You can try calling the president, though._

We've brought everyone on Yoshida's staff in on the plan; the president as well. No cracks in the plan, no room for error. If Higuchi was just a little bit smarter, he'd find the fact that both Misa and the Yoshida staff _just happened_ to be on vacation at the same time as Kira's name was about to be revealed on television extremely suspicious. If I was still playing against Light…Light would have guessed that I was just trying to draw him out. Or Misa, who would've come up with a plausible theory for why she was calling in asking for Matsui's real name.

 **Light: This is going exactly as I planned. It's almost scary.**

 _You shouldn't be scared by it. You should be happy._

If you still remembered your identity as Kira, you'd have reason to be frightened, but you wouldn't admit to it. If you're just Light, then you wouldn't be used to seeing your complex plans for manipulation go so well. As Kira, you laid many such traps; this sort of thing would be old hat. Perhaps you sense that you were Kira, that this was a plan of yours, and since without that power you are in fact a good person, you fear that plan coming to be. Or perhaps I just don't want you to be frightened. I don't want you to be frightened of danger, like a normal person, because then I'd want to comfort you.

 _Watari: I'm patching you into Higuchi's call with the president of Yoshida productions._

 _Higuchi: This is Higuchi from Yotsuba. That manager's real name isn't Taro Matsui, is it?_

As subtle as a sledgehammer to the head. We've got him cornered how; he's making increasingly desperate moves. Which is a little worrying, since desperate people can start to become reckless. It's easier to manipulate calm and assured people.

 _Misa: He's not even pretending to hide what he's asking about now, is he? Stupid Higuchi._

 _Maybe he's acting like that because he's beginning to panic._

We've all laid the trap for him; everyone's in position, prepared to do what's necessary to bring this Kira down. Higuchi's call with the president grows increasingly belligerent and obvious; if we hadn't already informed the President of what he needed to say, and he was just getting the call as an ordinary citizen, he would be highly suspicious. Higuchi didn't even bother to use a fake name or come up with a plausible cover story; I agree with Amane, he really is a fool. The President of Yoshida lays down the trap: If Higuchi wants to know Matsui's name, he can go to the office and look through the personnel files. The fake personnel files _we_ set up for him, with Matsuda's false name.

 _Misa: So, what's he gonna do?_

We're waiting, deep in suspense. If Higuchi doesn't take the bait -

 _Wedy: I see Higuchi. He's only carrying a single bag. I'm in pursuit._

He's in his car. We have surveillance on him. He looks truly psychotic at this point, determined and unstoppable. As Wedy said, he brought only a single bag, moderate in size. If Kira's power involves anything tangible, it will be inside that bag. I'm not sure what I'm expecting him to do. Light didn't reveal Kira's ability when we had him under surveillance, but Higuchi is _nothing_ compared to Light. As long as everyone does their part, we should be able to see how he kills.

 **Light: Everything's still going according to plan.**

 _Yes._

But whose plan? Yours, mine, ours? Is all this part of Light's plan? Or do I simply suspect that because he seems to understand me so well? Light, Misa and myself; together, watching as the Yotsuba Kira does exactly what I need him to, in order to reveal just how Kira kills. They're doing nothing to stop me from learning how. Because, perhaps, they truly don't remember. At all costs, I must prevent them from gaining that power again.

If this all goes according to plan, and we learn how Kira kills, and Higuchi takes the fall…and I'm left with no real evidence of Light or Misa's guilt, then I'll have no choice but to release them both from custody. To live out their normal lives, free from Kira's memories and power and the guilt of what they've done. Or perhaps to jail and execution, when real evidence resurfaces. And I'll…I'll go back to being whatI've always been. The world's greatest detective. Living alone, working with allies, but no real friends. That's the way it has to be. That's the way it's going to be. There's no other way.

I'm not quite ready to say goodbye.


	22. Chapter 22

_Thursday October 24 2004_

We're getting into the final our of the broadcast. Misa's face decorates the screen; I find it rather fascinating. I'm watching her, and Light's watching me, and she's watching Light. It's all very voyeuristic.

 **Light: Ryuzaki, the commercial is almost over.**

 _Oh, is that so?_

Initially, Light seemed to find my eating habits unpleasant; now, he's smirking, like everything I do is charming. We watch, together, as the broadcast resumes and Matsuda continues. He's talking about eavesdropping on the Yotsuba eight, keeping it quiet as to which of them is guilty. Buying Higuchi time, time he doesn't have. We've been waiting for Higuchi to make a move for a while; he's driving to Yoshida productions. There are a few cues meant to aggravate him into killing in the script, so it's important for us to have access to both.

 _Hm. Light, please put Higuchi's car on audio channel 1 and Sakura TV on channel 2._

 **Light: As expected, Higuchi's watching every minute of this from his car.**

Excellent. A small mini-TV. Light and I anticipated this might be the case, as soon as Wedy mentioned Higuchi's car had a television set. This way, he can ensure he kills Matsuda before his name is broadcast.

 _Higuchi: Rem, what do you think?_

 **Light: Rem …who's that? There is no one else in that car, right? It's impossible for someone to be hiding without us knowing. He isn't using his cell phone. Could it be a hidden radio?**

I can't say that I expected him to say anything during the drive. But now that he has…he sounds as though he's consulting with someone else.

 _No, there aren't any radios or other devices. Only the bugs, cameras, and trackers that Wedy placed. I have no doubt that she did a thorough job._

 _Higuchi: Do you think I'll get to Yoshida productions only to find his file isn't there?_

 **Light: Is he talking to himself?**

Higuchi's starting to get sharper. I wonder, if you play against people like Light and I for long enough, do you eventually by necessity have to improve your thinking skills? Warring against Kira may have improved mine. Dueling Light would be good practice.

 _Higuchi: If this guy was smart, he would destroy everything that connects with his real name before he appeared on TV. And don't you think it's a little too reckless for Yoshida productions to just let me into their offices unsupervised? Oh, maybe not. If there was a robbery, they'd figure it out right away who did it since I know where the key is._

There is always the remote possibility that Higuchi will decide not to go to Yoshida. But no matter what, he will attempt to kill Matsuda. And even if he does change his mind, I'm fairly certain Light and I will be able to come up with some kind of alternative. We have agents all over the ground; at a word, they could set up surveillance in whatever location Higuchi chose to go.

 _Misa: This isn't sounding very good._

 _He'll still go there. Don't you worry._

The plan has been going fine thus far; we've waited patiently to get surveillance on him, and from here on out we should be able to watch his every move. Three sets of very sharp eyes, well attuned to the Kira case, monitoring him at the tower (Light, Misa, and I). Yagami, Mogi, Wedy and Aiber on the ground, tracking his every move. The task force has really come out in full. We all want this plan to succeed.

 _Higuchi: Even if he does have a file at Yoshida, it could be just another alias. Damn it! I wouldn't put it past this guy to do something like that. No wonder he's confident._

The broadcast is continuing, as Higuchi watches, as always, vigilant and aware that any moment could spell the end for him. We took this possibility into consideration; Higuchi might guess that the name at Yoshida would be just another alias. But he has to go and check, and try, just in case. He has to.

 _Higuchi: Yeah, I already know that much myself. But just to be on the safe side, I should also kill the people I contacted at that Yoshida productions. That includes the president, Misa, and that manager of hers._

Responding again, like Light and Misa did, to a conversation. When Misa was kept in custody, she responded as if to an invisible being. Now Higuchi is doing the same, carrying on a conversation, responding to someone who isn't there. This is consistent with him and Misa, but not with Light. I can feel Light and Misa responding to Higuchi's new threat. Would he really kill Amane? She'd be such a valuable asset, from Kira's perspective, thanks to her eyes.

 _Misa: What?! No 's gonna kill me?_

 _It's all right. Don't worry. He's talking about doing that after he's killed Matsuda. There'll be no point in killing the rest of you until he's gotten rid of the main threat._

 **Light: That's true, but still ….**

He's cautious as always. I suppose if he did decide to kill Misa, he'd still be under surveillance, and we'd finally see how he kills. Would I be willing to put M-Kira's life on the line, to finally end this whole thing? Or even if I wanted to, could I stop Higuchi from killing her? Would it bother me, if he killed Amane or Light?

 _Higuchi: Oh, yeah. Rem, I didn't think you were so smart. Then I'll make them all erase their call histories before they die._

"Rem". That's the being he's been addressing. And it's clearly sentient, given how he's responded to it. If Amane makes any move to start erasing her history, or behaving erratically, I'll have to assume Higuchi has decided to kill her.

 **Light: There is no way he can just be talking to himself! But, who's Rem?! Who is he talking to?!**

 _If he is talking with someone right now, it could be … a Shinigami.… Perhaps._

I can feel Misa growing uncomfortable behind me. Is she as unnerved by the idea of Shinigami being real as I was at first? She was the one who mentioned them in her video to Light. "We can confirm our identities by showing our Shinigami to each other." Somehow, the Kiras can see each others' Shinigami, but ordinary people cannot, and they won't appear on surveillance cameras. Perhaps they're only visible to those with the Kira power.

Shinigami. A Japanese god of death named Rem. Does Higuchi simply tell this death god to kill people? Is that what's been going on this whole time?

 _Higuchi: No. I'd end up being ruined if I did that. Even if I forgot the notebook, this guy says he has concrete evidence to back him up. If he points out Yotsuba's recent growth on the air, no one would ever doubt his claims. They'd believe whatever he said. That means whoever he says is Kira will be marked as Kira!_

 _Even if he didn't have proof then and I got rid of the evidence by returning the notebook, my life would be over. I wouldn't get promoted. I wouldn't even be able to stay with Yotsuba._

L, do you know, gods of death love apples?

What is Higuchi responding to, exactly? "I'd end up being ruined if I did that." If he did what? Confessed to his crimes? "Forgot the notebook." The word 'notebook' again. Another reference to the Kira killing power. Notebook. It's what Misa used in her message to meet Light. 'Forgot the notebook'. Is that what happened to Light and Misa while they were in custody? They forgot the notebook power?

This is good for us. Higuchi's realizing that he has to kill 'Matsuda' in order to maintain his lifestyle, because even if he got rid of his power, he'd still be convicted. Unlike Light, there is enough evidence to put him away. Matsuda is continuing to call Kira out on the broadcast, and Higuchi's listening to him. This part of the script has him pleading with Kira to turn himself in.

 _Higuchi: This guy is acting like a complete idiot. Still he was smart enough to fake his own death to avoid being killed. I have to kill him as soon as possible._

Excellent. Higuchi has decided on the exact course of action we selected for him. In a few minutes time, I will see. I will see how Kira kills.

 **Light: He has arrived at the Yoshida productions.**

 _The show is about to begin._

He's there, wandering the offices. We can see his every move on the cameras. Once he gets Matsuda's second fake name, he'll do it. We'll see it. There's no way we can miss it. Light and Misa aren't making any moves to stop me seeing it.

 _Now Kira, how do you kill? Show me._

 _Mogi, over the intercom: We are in position and ready to take him now. We'll move on your command._

 _Right._

Higuchi finds the name. He writes it down, puts the envelope back in the drawer. Stands up. Something's off. He has the name, why isn't he doing, whatever it is he needs to do? He looks calm, as though everything's taken care of now. As if he's already done it.

 **Light: He's not doing it! He just made a note of his name before leaving. So, he's not gonna kill him here?**

 _Mogi: Ryuzaki, do you wanna us to apprehend him?_

Light's asking the same questions as I am. I thought Higuchi would be desperate to kill Matsuda as soon as possible. Does he need a picture of his face to show the Shinigami? But no, that makes no sense. What is he doing? He's returning to his car. Does he need to do it inside the car? Is the Shinigami waiting for him in the car? Why not have it come with him?

 _Negative. We still don't know how he kills. Perhaps he's planning to do something once he's back in the car. Let's see camera 1, again._

He's back in his car. Just sitting there. Checking his watch. It's been less than a minute since he first saw Mastuda's name, and it still feels like an eternity has passed with nothing happening.

 **Light: Huh, it's weird. You'd think he'd be desperate to kill Matsuda this very second, but he's calm.**

 _It is strange. If all he needed was the name, then he should've simply taken the personnel file with him. But he just put it back in the drawer after taking the note._

When we surveyed Light, we didn't see how he killed. What did Higuchi do? He's looking at his watch, expecting Matsuda to die. And we didn't see how he killed. We didn't see it.

 _Higuchi: Ah! Damn! He didn't die!_

 **Light: What, what's he talking about? He said, "He didn't die."**

Did he already try to kill Matsuda? Was writing his name down all he had to do or was it …

 **Light: What'll we do now? Should we just continue watching what he's doing? What if he [didn't] cause a death by just imagining it?**

I don't understand what's going on. I still can't figure out how he kills people. But even if we restrain him now and try to get him to confess ….

 _MC Only 15 minutes to go until the big Kira announcement!_

 _Higuchi: Ah! I don't have any time!_

He's put his hand in his bag again. Looking for his cell phone. Higuchi did whatever Kira needs to do to kill, and we didn't catch it. He sees Matsuda's fake name. He writes it down. He goes to the car. He checks his watch. The entire time returning to the car, he didn't do anything, not that we could see. Now that Matsuda hasn't died, what is he going to do next - what are we going to do next?

 **Light: He's making a phone call.**

 _It's probably Misa again._

Her phone begins to buzz, right on cue. I consider a possibility. We could have Misa give him another fake name for Matsuda, and watch what he does, how he tries to kill him…but that wouldn't be any good, as soon as he saw it was a fake name he'd realize Amane was lying to him. Since she's the second Kira, and can kill with just a glance, there's no way she could be mistaken as to his real name.

 _Misa: Yap!_

She hangs up the call right away. Higuchi is now looking very serious and panicky. He's running out of options, as are we. What is he going to do next?

 _Higuchi: Rem, let's make the deal._

 **Light: The deal? Who is this Rem person he keeps talking to?**

 **Could it really be that Kira's power comes from another world or some being?**

'The Deal". If the deal is to forget about being Kira…but neither Light nor Misa said anything about making a deal before forgetting the Death Note. Amane, I theorize, forget when she passed out at the end of the third day. She did appear to nod, to agree to something, but there was no talk of a deal. Her Shinigami could have proposed the deal to her. But then, Light didn't respond to anything before he lost his memories at the end of the first week. I'm back in that place of anxiety, and now I'm sharing that fear with Light - who wears his emotions far more openly than I do.

 _I really don't wanna think that's the case._

 **Light: Then, what is this Rem?**

 _A Shinigami? Whatever it is, we need to keep watching him. We'll learn nothing if we take him now. We may still be able to find out how he kills._

He's driving, very quickly, and smiling. He looks utterly, completely demented. Unlike Light or Misa, you'd probably expect a serial killer to look something like this man. Once again, nothing subtle about him. He's smiling like that, does it mean he feels confident again?

 _Highway Patrol: You in the red car! Pull over to the side of the road, now!_

 _Wedy: This is bad. Higuchi's been pulled over by a traffic cop. I'm gonna have to pass him and leave the pursuit to Aiber's team._

Just our bad luck. For the first time, I regret not having the police on our side. We could have controlled that aspect as well. I thought we'd covered all our bases, but I underestimated just how reckless Higuchi would be. And we're running out of time.

 _Officer: You were speeding. License please._

 _Higuchi: Yeah, no problem._

Something's going on. Higuchi should be panicking, should be asking the cop for his badge in order to kill him using his name, or at least trying to drive away. But he seems calm and assured. He was smiling before, as though he was no longer in a life or death scenario. In response to asking 'Rem' to 'make the deal'. Something's happening. He's fumbling in his bag. What's he going to do?

 _Switch all screens to Higuchi's car._

 _Higuchi: Let's see, where did I put it?_

Light and I watch, as rapt as ever. I can feel our minds working in unison, puzzling out, unraveling, spinning theories and struggling for some kind of clarity. Higuchi suddenly begins to drive away, without giving the cop anything. He doesn't seem to care. The officer is driving after him; I expected Higuchi would try to kill him, in order to get rid of him, but he didn't even try to get the officer's name.

There's a horrific crash in the background; through the intercom, I can hear Mogi's panicked voice.

 _Mogi: That motorcycle cop just rear-ended a truck. He's dead!_

So I was right, Higuchi did kill him; that's why - that's why he's driving off like he is, he feels confident.

 **Light: He's dead?! By accident?!**

 _This is very bad._

All he did was put his hand in his bag. Could he've done something at that moment? More importantly, how was he able to obtain the name of the cop who stopped him? Does he only need a face like the second Kira?

 **Light: Rem, a deal ….**

No, if he had the power to kill just by looking at someone's face, he would have already killed Matsuda by now. What's going on. Unless ….

Rem, a deal. Light's words. Higuchi's change in expression, his indifference to the traffic cop, the quick and easy kill.

He has Misa's power.

 _EVERYONE! It's too dangerous to allow further action by Higuchi ! Let's bring him in! I believe he has the same power as the second Kira. He is able to kill just by looking at someone's face. Please keep this in mind when you move in to arrest him! Watari, connect me to the director of the NPA._

 _WATARI_ ： _Yes._

The one oversight in our plan, that one factor that Light and I overlooked, the regular police. I can only hope that they cooperate; there's nothing Higuchi can do to them, or to the prominent businessmen he threatened. There's nothing to be done; our plan has failed. I hate admitting defeat like this.

So too does L-Kira; I can see Light's frustration matching mine. I don't even have to tell him what to do. We move like a single unit; I call the NPA, he calls his father and the task force.

 _This is L. We are now aware of Kira's true identity. He's currently heading from Hibiya to Shibuya along highway route 1 in a red sports car. Our group will be handling the arrest in the meantime. Please instruct all officers to refrain from approaching his car._

 **Light: All right, Dad, during the next commercial take measure 7.**

 _Yagami: Understood._

Measure 7. The safeguard for if Higuchi comes to the station. He has Amane's power, Beyond Birthday's power, to kill with just a face. Which means this phase of the plan is operating with maximum security. During the next commercial break, Sakura will switch Matsuda and the MC out with dummies; using our pre-recorded interview, we'll convince Higuchi that the broadcast is still going. Everyone will evacuate, to ensure their safety. Higuchi will arrive and the task force, their faces covered, will apprehend him and bring him in for questioning. If he escapes, then the police will be instructed to arrest him, wearing face concealing masks; they will blindfold and restrain him to prevent him from killing anyone else. We have enough evidence on him to convict him as Kira, so there'll be no difficulty there.

However, it's become clear to me that surveillance isn't going to help here. I want to go in person. I need to observe up-close how he behaves. My intention is to search his handbag, to see if we can find his method of killing inside. So with the police, the task force, Sakura TV and myself taken care of, where does that leave Light and Misa? I have no intention of bringing Amane; Higuchi might see her, and that would put her in danger. However, I can't leave her here by herself, free to roam about and act as M-Kira with no supervision.

And of course, Light will come with me.

 _So then, Light, Let's say we go and join the fun as well?_

 **Light: Yeah.**

Now to Amane. She will be restrained, chained to the observation chair, until we get back. Watari will come with Light and I. She'll have no opportunity to act as M-Kira, or as Misa Amane, to further or delay our plans this way.

 _I'm sorry to do this, Misa. But I'm going have to make sure you are restrained for a while._

 _Misa_ ： _What?! But that's …. Stop joking around!_

Light seemed to think the measure perfectly appropriate. I do appreciate that he takes my suspicion of Misa seriously, and understands my position. Well, if he still recalled being Kira, he probably wouldn't. But Light is the only person on the task force who has never looked at me like I'm some perverted oddball for keeping Amane restrained. I appreciate that.

We're going by helicopter; since Watari has never flown one before, and Light doesn't even have a driver's license, it's up to me.

 **Light: I didn't realize you could pilot a helicopter. That's incredible.**

 _Well, you can figure it out by intuition._

I'm being modest, of course. Light loves to praise me. I appreciate that as well. There are many aspects to working with Light that I'm going to miss when this is all over.

We're out of the task force headquarters, for the first time since we brought "Matsui's body" in. And now, we're soaring through the air, taking in a bird's eye view of the city. Fortunately for us, Higuchi drives a very conspicuous car, easy to keep track of even from above.

 **Light: Hm? Higuchi isn't going to Sakura TV. He's headed the wrong way.**

 _Based on his route, I'd guess he's going to the Yotsuba main office._

What are you doing, Higuchi? He has M-Kira's power, why isn't he headed straight to Sakura TV to kill him, to ascertain his real name? Does he expect to find it at Yotsuba? Matsuda is lucky that Light and I thought of that possibility.

 _Come in Wedy. Have you removed absolutely everything relating to Matsuda at the Yotsuba headquarters?_

 _Wedy: Yeah. Why? Is he headed there now? Huh, isn't that convenient. That should give me more than enough time to go ahead and meet up with Mr. Yagami to set up the ambush._

Higuchi won't waste any time; he'll realize quickly that all information on Matsu has been erased. Is he hoping to get his name by looking at a photograph of him, or film footage? Yes, it's possible; Misa was able to kill by watching people on television. She could see their names by looking at their images.

It took Higuchi only six minutes to decide Yotsuba wasn't going to give him anything. He was running all out, like a madman, up the stairs, through the building, down again. Yagami called in for an update, just as Higuchi was leaving the building.

 **Light: Dad, Higuchi's left Yotsuba. He's on his way to Sakura TV. He'll be there in less than 15 minutes. Are you ready?**

 _Yagami_ ： _I don't need my son asking if I'm ready. Of course I am._

Higuchi took his bag inside the building with him. There's no doubt about it, his killing method is inside that bag. He put his hand inside to kill the officer. He took it with him upstairs the first time. Kira's killing power must be some kind of physical object, something he needs to touch. Perhaps it's something innocuous, an object that a person could be seen carrying around with them and not look suspicious.

Not look suspicious.

 _Light, when we were speculating about M-Kira, all those months ago, we theorized that the word 'notebook' was some kind of code. I'd wondered if that was how M-Kira meant to recognize L-Kira. Something innocuous, that a person could have on them and not look suspicious._

 **Light: A notebook. All that Higuchi did was write down Matsuda's name…**

When we surveyed Light, when Kira was able to kill that purse-snatcher and embezzler, what was he doing? He was writing. Sitting there writing at his desk, studying for finals.

 _And you spotted the Note Blue cafe. Kira needs to write down a person's name, spelling it correctly - as those whose names were spelled wrong were not targeted - in some kind of notebook. That's it, it all fits together._

 **Light: But - all he has to do is write down a person's name to kill them?**

 _He needs a name and a face. But he doesn't need a picture, he just needs to have seen the person's face._

 **Light: Perhaps he needs to think of the face in order to avoid killing anyone with the same name. When you first introduced yourself to me, you used the name Hideki Ryuuga -**

 _In case you tried to kill me. Of course. That's why he needs a face, in order to ensure that that specific person dies. So that he doesn't just kill everyone named 'Hideki Ryuuga'. And only one person at a time._

 **Light: Something like that would be really easy to hide. Almost everyone walks around with some form of paper or notebook.**

 _And surveillance wouldn't reveal anything, because just writing something down doesn't look particularly suspicious._

Of course, Light and Misa have had dozens of opportunities to write things down ever since they were released from physical captivity. If this theory is correct, Light and Misa could _easily_ have still been acting as Kira, without any of us knowing the better. Still, in future we'll know what to look for.

 _Mogi: L, Higuchi has a gun on him. The chief's been shot! Higuchi is escaping!_

Light and I, for one terrified moment, meet each others' eyes. The chief's been shot. If Mr. Yagami is injured, if he's dead -

 _Yagami: I'm all right. Sorry, Ryuzaki. If we pursue him right now, we can still catch him. Hurry!_

A sigh of relief. Then again, watching from above, as Higuchi runs to his car. From a distance, I can see that he still has his bag.

 **Light: This is bad. He's escaping from Sakura TV.**

 _This leaves us no choice. We'll have to move in and apprehend him. Watari, are you ready?_

 _Watari: Yes._

I register, dimly, how I seem to be echoing Light. Just as he asked his father if he was truly ready to move in, I've asked Watari the same question. I need to stop reflecting like this; this situation is vital, but I can't seem to help where my mind wanders. Watari will act as a sniper. Our goal is to stop Higuchi from killing anyone. We get the bag away from him as quickly as possible. Of course, this could mean Light and I have to go in, physically. We'll be in danger, and Watari and the task force might not be able to protect us completely. If Higuchi has M-Kira's powers…why didn't we bring some form of face protection? Still, nonetheless, we might be able to stop him if it comes to that, now that we have some idea of what he needs to do in order to kill.

I offer Light a gun. I'm handing L-Kira a gun, while he's sitting two feet from me. I never thought, when I first began this case, that I'd be in this position, but so it is. And it feels right.

 _Light, I think you should hold onto this for self-defense. This is Kira we are after._

 **Light: No, thanks. Firearms aren't allowed in Japan.**

Hm. Honor before reason, eh Light? I'll have to help you move beyond that, perhaps I'll start you in a country with looser gun laws, like America, so that you don't have to worry about -

Stop that. Don't plan for a future with Light. He's Kira, you know that. And even if he's not, he'll be nothing more than another police officer to you, from now on. Working with the Japanese police, with Soichiro Yagami. Like father, like son.

 _You know, I'm sure your father would say the exact same thing._

He looks a little annoyed; I thought he'd be flattered, I meant it as a complement.

Higuchi is only looking to preserve himself now. He has no choice but to flee, and he's driving like a madman. We're keeping on his trail. The program is now over, so he's probably put together by now that the whole thing is a trap. It's too late for him, and -

Thousands of police cars start streaming in from all sides. Surrounding Higuchi, prepared to arrest him.

 _Watari: What's happening? I thought we told the police not to get involved with the arrest._

 **Light: The only one who would do this is ….**

 _Yes, you must be right._

Light and I share the same thought: Our former ally, so long forgotten, back on the force. Shuichi Aizawa.

Higuchi is cornered. He's surrounded by officers, and Watari is prepared to snipe him. No matter what, he won't be able to use his notebook. The police cars have tinted windows. The officers know not to let Kira see their faces. No one is going to die. Higuchi can't use Kira's power, but he can still kill.

 _Higuchi: Stay back! Stay back, or I'll shoot, I swear!_

With one perfectly practiced move, Watari pins him down. There's no recourse for him anymore. The Task force moves in to arrest him. He'll be handcuffed; we'll take his bag and see his notebook. Or whatever device he uses. Now that we've trapped him, I almost feel sorry for him. He's such a mediocre individual, scurrying around like a rat in a test tube. There's really nothing to a person like that, and no emotion one can feel but a kind of disgusted sympathy.

 **Light: It's over.**

 _Yes, it's over._

Over. Will Kira's power and memories leave Higuchi, like they did Light and Misa? Will there be any evidence to convict those two - will it just start over again, a new Kira, a new mystery? Until that point, will Light continue to be chained to me, Misa under surveillance?

No. We have it now, I can sense it. Hearing Light agree with my theory makes me certain. It's a notebook, and Higuchi has it now. Or rather, _we_ have it. And we're never going to let anyone else get ahold of it. The power won't transfer on, and Kira will die out. The case will be concluded.

And if there really is no more evidence, no way to convict Light and Misa…will they return to their normal lives? Undoubtedly Amane will. But Light…What is going to happen to us? Without any remaining evidence, if Kira's killings stop now, I'll have no choice but to release you. And we'll have to say goodbye. Will you want to stay with me, Light? You had a life, before we met, before you found this power; you'll no doubt want to return to that life. The life of a normal college student. Anyone would prefer that kind of life to the one I live, crouching in dark rooms seeing the world through a screen. Anyone besides me.

But I still wonder. As we sit here, reveling in Higuchi's defeat, in our victory, acting and thinking as we've so often been doing - as one.

Can we really be separated?


	23. Chapter 23

_Thursday October 28 2004_

The officers are lined up. Higuchi cannot make his move. _  
Yagami: Ryuzaki, please let me go and make the arrest.  
I understand. But remember this is Kira. Be sure to take every precaution when you approach him and don't allow him to see your face. Watari, if Higuchi tries anything or makes any sudden moves ….  
Watari: Understood. I will shoot to stop him not to kill.  
_The officers have approached him. So far, no one has died. He can't see their faces, so there's nothing he can do. He's taken out of the car, handcuffed, blindfolded. There's nothing he can do now.

 **Light: Mogi, I want you to put a headset onto him as planed.**

I'm going to ask him, point blank, how he kills. I need to start as soon as possible, before the power has a chance to pass on from him. He's cornered, sniveling, unable to resist or make any counter-move. This may be my only shot. _  
Higuchi, how are you able to kill people? Tell me! If you are not going to talk, I'll use whatever means necessary to get it out of you.  
Higuchi: The notebook.  
Notebook?_

So we were right, Light and I. It is a notebook. _  
Higuchi: You probably won't believe me but I've got a special notebook. If I write someone's name in it while thinking of their face, that person dies.  
_ A notebook. Simple as that. We take it from him, destroy it permanently once we've gotten all the evidence off of it, and put an end to Kira once and for all. But if Kira's power is simply contained in a single notebook, then how did we have both Light and Misa running around with the ability? _  
Mr. Yagami.  
Yagami: Yeah, I found it. It was in one of the compartments of Higuchi's bag. He has written a lot of names in it. But there doesn't seem to be anything else unusual about it, huh? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!_

The entire time I've known him, I've never heard Mr. Yagami scream. I've seen him under extreme duress - believing his son to be a murderer, trapped in isolation for fifty days - and I've never seen him this frightened. He's collapsed, dropping Higuchi's notebook, and scurrying away, staring at something - or nothing. _  
What is it, Mr. Yagami?  
Yagami: It's a monster!_

An invisible monster. Light and Misa spoke to invisible beings while in custody - Higuchi was speaking to an unseen being called Rem in his car. If Mr. Yagami makes any sudden moves, there's no telling what it will do. _  
Please calm down. Don't panic. Remember you're not currently armed to defend yourself.  
Yagami: Oh, oh, all right, of course.  
Mogi: Chief, hang in there. Are you all right?  
Yagami: Mogi, can't you see that thing over there?!_

Why can Mr. Yagami see this Rem when no one else can? No one but Higuchi, no one but Kira? What did he do - he simply touched the notebook. Is that all it takes to see this creature - touching the notebook? _  
Mogi: Chief, I think you must be getting tired. Aaaaaaahhhhhh!  
_ **Light: Mogi, what's wrong?** _  
_Mogi is holding the notebook now, and he's looking, at the exact same place that Chief Yagami is looking, and recoiling in terror. This creature must appear truly frightening - two grown men, both cowering in panic at the very sight of it.

 _Yagami: It, the, thing, it seems only people who have touched the notebook can, can see this, this monster!  
Please bring the notebook over to the helicopter._

I suppose I will have to see it for myself. I have to remain calm. Whatever it looks like. I can't panic now, not now that we finally know how Kira kills. _  
Mogi: Here is, Ryuzaki._

It looks like an ordinary notebook. Black cover, bound side, clean paper. The words Death Note inscribed on the cover, in English, white lettering. My heart is pounding. What am I going to see?

It's about eight feet tall, skeletal, ivory skinned. It hunches over, arms hanging, long skeletal fingers pointed to the ground. Bat's nose. Purple locks. Bare boney feet. _  
Hm. It really is … a Shinigami. They really … do … exist.  
_ My mind goes into overdrive.

This isn't the work of this being. Light Yagami; This is how Kira kills; the second Kira; Notebooks in Aoyama …Through my thoughts, I hear Light calling my name . _  
_ **Light: Ryuzaki, come on, let me see!** _  
_M-Kira's killing power the Shinigami _…_ Two books! There have to be two notebooks! Possibly more! This isn't over yet. Not that I - _  
_ **Light: AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!**  
In all the excitement, I seemed to have forgotten him. He's holding the notebook, lost in the longest scream I've ever heard. Is he seeing the Shinigami? Of course he is but - he sounds so horrified, like he's being dragged down into hell and he doesn't want to go. He's breathing hard now. It's frightening. As if there's something deeply wrong with him. _  
Ah, are you OK, Light? I suppose seeing that monster would surprise anyone.  
_ **Light: Ryuzaki.** _  
_All of a sudden, he's completely composed again. As though nothing happened. As though he didn't just scream bloody murder and witness a monster materialize out of thin air. He's holding the notebook very clearly open so that I can see it. I realize that L-Kira is holding Kira's killing power again. What if he - but he's lost his memories - _  
What is it?  
_ **Light: I wanna check this out. I'm gonna try comparing the names written in this notebook with the names of the victims.**

He sounds completely calm. Serious and focused again. It's as though nothing's happened, as if he's just reflecting my mind and solving the case as usual. I can't see his face directly. If Light were still L-Kira, then I just let him take Kira's killing power away. But he can't kill anyone with it while I'm watching him - and in any case, he doesn't know, and as long as I'm around, I'm not going to let him remember. What is there to be suspicious about? He's acting the way he always does. _  
Hm? Oh, right. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea._

I have to concentrate on the present problem. Light is my ally, for the moment; the important thing is to confine Higuchi and keep this notebook away from anyone who would misuse it. _  
Mr. Yagami, please take Higuchi to the car.  
Yagami: Ah, right, of course._

So Kira's power is supernatural. It makes sense, then; these deaths could not be explained in any other way. His power comes from this notebook. Light's checking the names against the victims beside me, just like he said he would; if they match up, there will be no doubt. In my opinion, there are at least two notebooks. This one belonged to - which? Light or Misa? We'll have to check the names - see if the first name written matches L-Kira's first killing, from November last, or not. Since L-Kira and M-Kira conducted their murders simultaneously, in the months that they overlapped, there must at least be two notebooks. The Shinigami, who accompanied Higuchi and once accompanied the previous Kiras, Rem. Rem can be seen by touching this notebook. Rem is connected to the notebook. M-Kira mentioned notebooks and Shinigami in the messages.

Well, Higuchi's feeling talkative. I think I'll ask him for al the details once he's in prison. Before too long, I will know.

 **Light: You know, about this notebook, I wonder what we would find if we put it through forensic analysis.**

 _That doesn't sound like you, Light. We both know this thing is beyond science._

What a peculiar remark to make. He's still sitting turned away from me. Something's off. I suddenly get the impression that we're waiting for something. Light seems tense. I can feel it in the vibration running through the manacles that tie us together. His voice his calm, but after months of chaining myself to him, I can tell when he's nervous. Why is he nervous? Higuchi is completely chained. Is he really afraid of the Shinigami? No, he'd have said so if he was. Something's wrong. _  
_ **Light: Ha, yeah, you're right.**

So why did you make that suggestion? He sounds amused, but he's waiting and watching like a bird of prey. It suddenly strikes me that Light seems different. He isn't watching the Shinigami. He's not at all frightened of it. And that tension isn't nervous tension, its - _  
_A piercing scream breaks the silence.

This time, it's Higuchi _  
Yagami: Ryuzaki, Higuchi is ….  
_ **Light: What the hell?! What's happening?!**

My sentiments exactly. The officers are rushing at him; he appears to be collapsing. Clutching his chest. _His chest._ Where his heart is. Two notebooks - where is the other one? _  
_ **Light: Dad, what're you doing?! We can't lose him! If Higuchi dies on us now, ….** _  
Yagami: It's impossible! But, there's nothing I can do. He's already …._

Dead. Higuchi is dead. From a heart attack. I don't need the Chief to tell me.

Everything clicks into place again.

There's no way the owner of the second notebook did this. It's too coincidental. Light gets ahold of the notebook, and immediately afterwards, Higuchi dies. Light gets ahold of the notebook, and immediately afterwards he seems different. Less than a minute before Higuchi dies, Light becomes tense, nervous, waiting.

Light Yagami killed Kyosuke Higuchi. I didn't see him write the name in the notebook. But he did it, all the same. Sitting right next to me, right under my nose, he killed his successor. Has Light had the second notebook all along? No. No, when he touched this notebook, he became Kira again.

I am sitting next to L-Kira once more.

 _Late night at Task Force Headquarters_

Light and I flew back home in silence. We've joined the task force, and passed the notebook around to the others, so that everyone present may see the Shinigami. Rem has accompanied us back - I suppose it must follow wherever the notebook goes. As the pilot, I had no chance to read it. Light simply laid it down between us and sat, perfectly calm, as if he had not just witnessed Higuchi's murder and the Shinigami.

We are now seated, away from the task force, at the computers. Light is doing research; I'm seated, as usual, on his right. Trying to comprehend it all, as Aizawa - back with the task force now - reads off the rules, written in the same white lettering as the cover, from inside the notebook.

 _Aizawa: "How to use it." It says "the human whose name is written in this notebook shall die."_

That tallies. Kira can kill anyone he wishes, just by writing their name in the notebook. This is why he needs a person's name, correctly spelled.

 _"This note will not take effect unless the writer has a person's face in their mind when writing his or her name." "Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected." "_

And a face. As we theorized, the face in order to ensure that a different person will not be killed. A name and a face in order to commit murder.

 _If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen."_

The one minute I gave Kira was a generous estimate. Only 40 seconds. 40 seconds must seem like an eternity, waiting for someone to die.

 _"If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack."_

The first round of deaths were all heart attacks. Kira didn't begin experimenting until quite late in the game. This rule is worded to make the heart attack death an easy one to resort to. _  
"After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds."_

Simple enough, easy to follow. Written in English. They all tally with the known facts about the Kira case. He can control his victims and how they die. Everything we've seen makes sense with these rules. _  
Aizawa: As well, the back cover has some more instructions on how to use it. There are two more rules. One of them is, "If you make this note unusable by tearing it up or burning it, all the humans who have touched the note till then will die."_

That seems suspicious. It's very, very convenient. And what strikes me as odd about it is that all the previous rules were about "how to _use_ the note". Literally, about what steps the writer needs to take in order to cause death with the notebook. This one is a warning. Why place a warning in the section on how to use the book? And this rule is not worded the same as the others, placed on the back of the book rather than the cover like the rest. Why not designate this rule as a warning?

 _Aizawa: And then, there is this last rule. According to these instructions at the back of the notebook, "If the person using the note fails to consecutively write names of people to be killed within 13 days of each other, then the user will die."_

Has Kira ever taken a break from killing for longer than two weeks before? Only once, when we confined Light Yagami. And at the end of two weeks, the killings resumed. After thirteen days. Thirteen, the number of death in most cultures.

 _Matsuda: Ah! Wait a second. If that's true, then it means Light and Misa-misa are completely cleared, doesn't it?!  
Aizawa: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, that's right! Light and Misa were detained for more than 50 days and are still under surveillance. If either of them had been Kira, there is no way they would still be alive by now._

If it is true. Just when I was positive Light had become Kira again, now this rule. He's been completely silent the whole time. He's asked no questions. He isn't even looking at the notebook. The Light I've known these past few months would be very curious to find out everything he could about the notebook, desperately looking for a way to exonerate himself. He's spent the last few months doing everything he can to clear his name and jumping on the slightest piece of evidence that could indicate his innocence. Now, he doesn't even seem particularly pleased to be cleared.

What if the final two rules are fake? It would be an extremely clever move on Light's part - to game the system like that. But how would we prove it? _  
Rem, was it? That's your name, isn't it? The white thing over there?  
Matsuda: Ryuzaki, isn't it a bit rude to go round calling someone a white thing?  
Rem: What do you want?_

It has been very quiet the whole time. Its voice sounds female. I believe I will refer to Rem as she. I've never addressed a shinigami before, but she responded to me readily enough. I need to run my theory by her now. If the rules are fake… _  
There's more than one notebook in the human world, isn't there?  
Rem: Who knows. There may be and there may not be._

A cautious answer. If another one were to show up, she could simply claim she didn't know about it. But it's not as though we could persecute her at all. She's a shinigami, a god of death. She can fly, she can't be touched, she can't be seen by anyone who hasn't held the notebook. She has nothing to fear. So why answer to vaguely? _  
If there are other notebooks either here or in your world, will they all have the same rules as this one?_

 _Rem: Yes, they are all the same. There are many notebooks in the Shinigami realm but they all have the same rules, even the rules for when humans obtain them._

So they're real? Perhaps. There may be another way to test this. Rem may have her own reasons for lying. She's a death god, after all. Why would Rem want Light and Misa to be cleared? Her conversations with Higuchi, she appeared to be helping him, supplying him with information. And Misa's conversation with her while in custody. Misa asked Rem to kill her, and Rem did not do so. Perhaps Rem doesn't want her precious killers to be convicted. She doesn't seem upset about Higuchi's death, though. _  
Aizawa: Ryuzaki, Misa Amane and Light have both been cleared of suspicion. They shouldn't be under surveillance any longer.  
Matsuda: That's right, it's crystal-clear!_

It doesn't matter what I think or what I say anymore. The task force is convinced. I have no evidence to hold Light and Misa. Unless I can prove that the final two rules are fake, they will be free, by necessity, to roam the world. I'm certain Light has become L-Kira again. Misa will thus soon become the second Kira once more. It will only be a matter of time, then, before she kills me. She saw my real name.

But there's nothing I can do. I have no legal right to hold them here. The rules have cleared them both. _  
I suppose you are right. I understand. And, please accept my apologies for all the trouble.  
Yagami: Thank goodness._

I hate to lose.

We have the notebook, and the shinigami. I would like to believe that my conviction of Light and Misa's guilt is just paranoia, just my unwillingness to accept defeat. If Kira begins killing again once Light and Misa are released… **  
Light: Yeah, but, we still can't say that we've solved the case until we've figured out everything. Would it be all right if I kept investigating with you without the handcuffs on?  
** _Yes._

I can't shake that feeling that Light is once again L-Kira. He's speaking like he used to, before he forfeited his memories. _My_ Kira has returned, I can feel it in my bones. Whatever the rules may say.

 _Sunday October 30 2004_

The handcuffs are off. My wrist feels bare. That weight, tying me to Light, is gone. Light is free to move, without my surveillance. Yet he still barely leaves my side. He only left to talk to Misa, briefly, as she was leaving. I could see him through the surveillance cameras, but I couldn't hear him. Is he giving her the kill order on me?

Even if he hasn't done it yet, it will only be a matter of time.

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. Halloween. I've never told anyone but Watari. I don't celebrate birthdays, like other people do; I've never attended a party or a social event, I find them draining and pointless. But still, I know my birthday. Wouldn't it be ironic if I died on that day? Halloween, Dia de los meurtos, the day of the dead.

I've spent my life surrounded by death. And now I'm confronted with the inescapable idea of my own. This case is the first time I've ever put my life on the line. And now that Light is once again L-Kira, and Misa is loose on the world, unsupervised, with her ability to see a person's name…this means my days are numbered. L-Kira was never afraid to act, and act as quickly as possible. The only way I've been able to stave off my death so long is through keeping Light and Misa locked up and under surveillance at all times.

I'm so certain that Light and Misa are guilty - and so certain that I'm going to die soon. There are ways, precautions I could take - arrange for them to die, write their names in that notebook before they can write mine? Would that be murder, or self-defense? Would I then proceed to die, if I didn't keep killing every thirteen days, or -

Thirteen days.

The thirteen day rule.

That's it. That's the way to test it. To write down a name, the name of someone due for execution that very day so as to prevent needless death, and see if I die after thirteen days. If I do, well, then I'll be gone and proven wrong. If I don't, then we'll know those rules are fake. And Light or Misa will have to kill me straight away to keep from suspicion.

So either way, my days are numbered.

Even if I stopped pursuing them, hid somewhere, tried to preserve my life at all costs - they'd still kill me. Misa still saw my face. I still defied Kira, so Light will still want me dead, even if I'm no longer a threat. Kira is prideful. Light is prideful. He killed Lind L Tailor, almost a year ago, simply for calling Kira evil, not for trying to chase him. He wants to kill me because I questioned him, because I don't see him as perfect, not because I'm a threat to his safety. He'll do it, either way.

I'm going to die. Even if I use my test to prove those rules are fake. Either way, at this point, Kira will win and I will lose. I'm trapped.

 _Sunday October 31 2004_

One day after Amane's release. She still hasn't killed me. No one new has died at Kira's hands since Higuchi was arrested. The Task force is very hopeful that we might soon call the case over and done with. We've gone over the notebook, interrogated the Shinigami, confirmed our evidence about Higuchi with Yotsuba.

Mr. Yagami is talking about how wonderful it will be, for him and Light to return to their lives. On the phone with his wife, tossing around ideas about a new career for the future - despite the trust fund I've set up for them, he still wants to work. I suppose I'll be paying for Light's college tuition. Mr. Yagami is very eager for Light to resume his college studies at Touou. He's had to drop out to attend this case, but since he aced the entrance exam, there's always room for him to go back. To study and become an officer, like his father used to be. Matsuda and Mogi are considering opening a private detective agency, if Aizawa can't get them their old jobs back on the force. He probably can, if Kira really is gone.

No one has asked me what I'll choose to do when the case is over. I've stopped thinking about it. I used to, but I know now that I don't have a future to consider. This is going to be my last birthday. Amane hasn't killed me yet. Perhaps she's forgotten my name. But either way, at this point I know Light will engineer a situation wherein she can see it anyway. I can stall it off, avoid meeting her as long as I can.

Why am I being so morbid? Light's reprimanding voice in my head again. There's still a chance, a chance I could survive. Why am I so certain that I'm going to die? Mr. Yagami's talk about Light's future is depressing me, because I don't want him to go. He's been unchained from me for several days and I already feel the absence, even though he sits by my side the same as ever, there's a difference. He's not there anymore. He doesn't echo my sentences, reveal my thoughts aloud. He doesn't even pay much attention to me at all.

I'm not ready to say goodbye to him. To Light Yagami or to Kira. And I realize why I haven't simply arranged for Light and Misa to die; why the thought of going on, without Light by my side, seems…hopeless.

Light is Kira, and he's my friend. Light is my mortal enemy, and I care more for him than I've ever cared for anyone in my entire life. Light will kill me, soon enough, by his own hand or another's, and I don't really care.

Because I love you, Kira.


	24. Chapter 24

_Friday. November 5. 2004._

Remember, remember!/The fifth of November,

The Gunpowder treason and plot;

I know of no reason

Why the Gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot!

I was taken to Wammy's house in 1986, when I was seven years old. It was November then, and freezing cold; the kind of cold that stings the slightest inch of exposed skin like a knife. Watari held my hand; I was afraid to go inside, into that large building filled with other children. Some of them were happy, running about, playing together. Some of them were frightened and crying. The place was filled with noise. I hate noise; I can't concentrate if I'm surrounded by unnecessary sound. My mind wanders to each individual sound and seeks to explain it. Why is that one crying? Why are they playing so loudly? Where is that siren going?

 _Three days ago_

For a moment, Watari doesn't notice that I'm in the room. I have the chance to simply watch him working. He's diligent. He responds to my slightest command. It only takes him a moment, just twenty three seconds, to realize I'm standing here.

 _Watari: Ryuzaki, is something the matter? What is it? What's wrong?_

He worries about me. I was troublesome as a child, I didn't get along with the other children at Wammy's and spent my time solving puzzles. I assumed Watari followed me because of the advice I gave him - is it really so long ago? - that made him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. Gratitude, perhaps, obligation, a need to use my genius to keep the world safe. But that's not it at all. Watari goes with me, works for me, because he cares for me. He has dozens of orphanages set up all over the world, but somehow he loves me most of all.

I may be endangering his life in my pursuit of justice. This is the first time I've ever realized, perhaps, that that is wrong. I've come here to tell him my plan. My horrifying, ever so wrong plan. He'll look at me, perhaps a little surprised, but he'll agree. He won't judge me, even though I should be judged.

 _Two Days Ago._

My examination of the notebook has revealed just how versatile a murder weapon it truly is. No wonder Light was so easily able to evade us for so long. If one removed pages from the book, a person could easily travel around, killing from anywhere in the world, and nobody would be any the wiser. _  
Hm, interesting. The corner of the page of this notebook has been torn off. Can you kill someone just by writing their name on a piece?  
Rem: Can't say. I've never tried using it like that and I don't know of anyone who has._

Still with riddles and more riddles. She's never said anything to us directly. She's evasive, answers with half truths. I wonder if she'd talk under torture, unlike Misa. She's a shinigami, a God of Death. She has all the power here.

L, do you know…

 _Then let me ask you, do Gods of death love apples?  
Rem: Not necessarily. You see our internal organs have already degraded - we've evolved to a point where we do not require sustenance._

So was Light merely mocking me? He was making that up, to sound clever?

I become aware that Light is in the room. Not ten feet behind me. Standing behind a glass staircase. I can see one of his eyes through the glass, distorted, as if part of his face is hovering in midair. He has two faces, Light and Kira, two identities - the killer who thinks he's a God, and the perfectionistic investigator with unshakeable morals. He's stayed by my side, continuing to investigate, and I still suspect him no matter what. If I'm wrong about Light, then I've trapped an innocent man, chained him to my side for months, and perhaps destroyed his ability to ever live any other way. Even if I'm right, is that…right? _  
Say Light. You are finally free to leave headquarters on your own but it seems like you never go out. Even when Misa comes to visit, you only chat with her for a few minutes outside. You do realize you are free to have a relationship with her now?  
_ **Light: That can wait until we've managed to solve this case. I'm not in the mood for love or anything else right now.**

In my entire life, I've loved precisely one person, in such a way. I may have broken that person, permanently, beyond repair. Before he met me, Light went on dates all the time. He had a life, he had friends, family, a promising career. Even if he's cleared of suspicion, can he ever really return to any of that, now?

 **Light: Anyway, are you suggesting that I'll be a nuisance for staying here?**

 _No._

You could never be a nuisance to me. Your assistance has been strangely invaluable. My wrist still feels bare, without the chain that kept us together.

Light Yagami.

 _Yesterday._

Misa Amane. M-Kira, the second killer. Born 1984, known super model and pop star in Japan, orphaned at the age of eighteen. Witnessed her parents' murders, and became eternally devoted to Kira when he 'punished' their killer. Victim of multiple stalking and murder attempts. A sad young life. _  
Yagami: What's going on?! I heard criminals are being killed again!  
Aizawa: There were 16 deaths just yesterday. All of them were broadcast after Higuchi's death._

Mere days pass from Amane's release from custody and Kira's return. The deaths resemble M-Kira's killings. Just a face, not necessarily a name. Sixteen criminals, convicts with names and faces broadcast on the news. Just as I predicted. Two notebooks. And the whole thing starts over again. _  
Yagami: Do you think this could mean that Higuchi wasn't necessarily Kira, after all?  
_ **Light: No. It's safe to say that Higuchi was the one killing criminals until we apprehended him.**

Kyosuke Higuchi, the third Kira, the most inferior, the least powerful or skilled. These killings do not resemble his work. And he is undoubtedly dead, but killed how? That's the vital question. We have Higuchi's notebook. If Amane has the second one, why didn't she begin killing with it before Higuchi died? _  
Aizawa: Then this means we are dealing with yet ANOTHER Kira..!  
_ **Light: Damn, damn you, Kira!** _  
_Another Kira's appeared? What's going on here? What are you planning, Light? Misa's already resumed killing, and I'm still alive. Why did she only begin this now, after Higuchi died? You've had the chance to speak to her, to give out the kill order in those private conversations when we can't hear what you say. But that still begs the question - who killed Higuchi? Misa was tied up and restrained at the task force headquarters at the time. Light was under my supervision. He couldn't have - or could he? _  
These killings began as soon as Misa was free, didn't they?  
_ **Light: Ryuzaki, are you still going on about that? She has nothing to do with this! Think about it - this started as soon as Higuchi died!  
** _Hm, I suppose you are right. Oh well, if there is another notebook floating around out there and someone is now using it to kill criminals, I'll just have to bring that person to justice.  
_ The Shinigami insisted that it didn't know, but if someone were able to kill simply by writing a name on a torn piece of the notebook…Light could have used a torn piece, concealed from me, to kill Higuchi. To kill while under surveillance as well. Simply by leaving the house...It's not impossible. But there is that rule; "Whoever writes a name in this notebook has to write another name within 13 days, otherwise they die."  
Light Yagami and Misa Amane are both still alive. Thirteen days. That's the only problem.  
 **Light: Ryuzaki, I've been thinking, even if we do manage to catch the person who's been writing names in the notebook, will we really be able to legally convict and punish them for mass homicide?**

Such a strange question from Light. Is he fearing punishment - does he wish to know what will await him if I catch him? _If_ I catch him. It used to be _when.  
If they admit to killing with the notebook, they'll receive the death penalty or life in prison at least. That's the best they could hope for._

Everything has become very quiet.

If I convict Light, that's what he'll get. And so will Misa Amane. Who is currently out killing - it means at any moment she will use my name. It's only a matter of time.

 _Present. The fifth of November._

They've been ringing all day long. So much noise. So very distracting. If I'm going to die, then what's the use? My days are numbered, my time is ticking. The task force headquarters has become cloying and oppressive. I've stared at these walls for months, and they've yielded nothing. Nothing but failure after failure. I make one move, and Kira is ten steps ahead of me already. No matter what happens, Kira just keeps coming back. I'm pushing that rock up the hill again, and I just want to let it keep rolling.

I need to get out.

It's raining. A heavy, pounding rain like bullets from the sky. My clothes are soaked to the bone in minutes. From atop the task force roof, I can see the city, sprawling all around me, the lights glowing softly, and in the distance, those church bells ringing. I just want to stand here and let the rock keep rolling, let the world fall away and forget I'm going to die Memento Mori.

No. Even if I'm going to die, I have to fight anyway. We don't fight because we're going to win. We do it because…there are things worth fighting for. Kira believes that this world is evil and has to be fixed. I don't. There are things here that are worth preserving. Ice cream, for one. The sheer scope of human achievement - the building I'm standing on, that couldn't have been constructed thousands of years ago. The smile on a friend's face. The goodness in humanity that can be truly astonishing, that can co-exist with evil in everyone and be just as beautiful. I don't think you can see that.

Five days ago I turned twenty five.

"What would you do, if you knew this was the last birthday you were ever going to have? I'd do whatever I wanted to do with whoever I wanted to do it with""

I'm not sure where I heard that. In a book somewhere. He's here, now. The person I want to be with. He's the only one to come looking for me, to worry about where I am. He asks me something, but through the rain I can't hear him. I don't want to go back inside just yet. I show him I cannot hear; he speaks louder and I still can't hear. At last, he comes to me. The rain soaks through his shirt right away, his hair, always so neat, drips to his shoulders. It's longer than I thought it was.

 **Light: What are you doing, Ryuzaki?** _  
Oh, I'm not doing anything in particular. It's just…I hear the bell._

That sound that's been driving me crazy, all day long. He can't hear it, somehow. He's perplexed. It's good to know that I can still astonish him. He never ceases to astonish me. I believe I've worked out what you have planned for me, Light. Misa will kill me in short order, when you feel safe. You'll give her the instruction. Perhaps you already have. In any case, I will die and they will witness you standing there with no means of killing me. You'll be cleared and I'll be gone. Physically, at least, from the world. Will you mourn for me? Or will you be happy? _  
_ **Light: Hmm? The bell?** _  
Yes. The sound of the bell has been unusually loud today._

You used to understand me so well. It seemed I couldn't have a thought without your grasping what I meant. Even before I spoke, you often forestalled me, revealed my worst thoughts to everyone. Now you can't seem to grasp a word I say. It's as if when we removed the handcuffs, that psychic link was gone as well. As though you're no longer tuned to my frequency. _  
_ **Light: Hmm. I don't hear anything.  
** _Really? You can't hear it? It's been ringing nonstop all day. I find it very distracting. I wonder if it's a church - maybe a wedding or, perhaps a..._

Funeral…a wedding, a funeral, we do the dance of love and death, loss and life. Love and marriage which lead to life, which make us feel alive, the loss at a funeral, the constant death, the reminder that these two things are one, going around in circles. My love for you I've never once admitted, and soon enough when you kill me, you'll never know… _  
_ **Light: Where are you getting that, Ryuzaki? Come on, cut it out! Let's get back inside.  
** _I'm sorry. Nothing I say makes any sense anyway. If I were you, I wouldn't believe any of it._

I haven't treated you very well, have I? I'm a pretty poor admirer. Most people in their lifetimes know love, fall in love, and the best of them treat the one they loved wonderfully. The ruler of India built his beloved wife the Taj Mahal. Most people at least don't chain up the ones they love, suspect their every move, and never once make them a kind offering - have I ever done anything for you, Light? Even offered you basic consideration, handed you something when you asked for it, cheered you up when you were feeling down? You've done that much for me, and you're a cold-blooded killer. If you treat your worst enemy with kindness and politeness, and I treat the one I love like dirt - and you are Kira, a monster, then what does that make me? _  
_ **Light: You know, you're totally right. Honestly, most the things you say sound like complete nonsense. There would be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone.** _  
Yes. I would say that's a fair assessment._

I'm nonsensical and strange. Light's lived closer to me than anyone else, even Watari, has ever done in my entire life. Slept by my side, woke up to morning coffee with me, seen me at my worst. And known my mind. Somehow, even with our connection removed, it feels as if we are one. And if we are, if I am no better, really, than Kira, he is no better than me.

 _But…I could say the same about you.  
_ **Light: Hm? What's that supposed to mean?**

I want to see you, Light, just this once. You've always worn a mask - would you take it off for me? Before I die, I want to see the real you, with my own eyes. To understand you, truly, as you seem to understand me. I think I know you better than anyone, but you've only ever shown me the mask you wear for everyone else. _  
Tell me, Light; From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you'd actually told the truth?  
_ We stand in silence. Living a double life must be difficult for you, Light. Perhaps this is what I can do for you. Just for a moment. You've helped me with my rock, may I help you with yours? Or will you give me a platitude, the socially acceptable answer? You want to appear as flawless to me as you appear to everyone else, but I know your worst flaws, Light, there's no need to hide from me. _  
_ **Light: Where is this coming from, Ryuzaki? I do admit I stretch the truth here and there. However, find me one person in this world who's never had to tell a lie. It wouldn't be easy. Human beings just aren't made to be perfect like that. Everybody lies from time to time. Even so, I've always made a conscious effort to be careful not to tell a lie that could hurt others. That's my answer.  
** _I had a feeling you'd say something like that._

I did try. I gave you a chance. I can feel this odd spell of the gray weather dissolving, and I realize that I'm freezing, soaked to the bone, that my feet are curled uncomfortably in the pair of shoes I hardly ever touch, my hair a heavy burden on my head and the legs of my pants heavy, as though weighted; I could be drowning, I'm so soaked. Light looks much the same. I've soaked him through with water, for nothing. _  
Let's go back inside. We're both drenched.  
_ **Light: Yeah.**

Inside, I can hear the bells more clearly. The rain muted the sound a bit, let me clear my head, truly think. Now we're back inside, going down the stairs; our clothes make sloshing sounds, as though we're still walking through rain. Light is annoyed with me, but not angry. It's just a little rain, nothing for Kira to worry about. Soon enough he's procured towels for us both. He's seated himself on the stairs, shoes and socks off to carefully dry, drying his hair. Can't let the hair get mussed. _  
Well, that was certainly an unpleasant outing..!  
_ **Light: It's your own fault. I mean, what did you expect?**

I've never felt this miserable and hopeless. I think for the first time, I know what it is to despise myself. _  
You're right. Sorry._

I want to do something for you, Light. This may be my last chance. I got you soaked. I find myself becoming rather bold; depression does that, I suppose. I walk down the stairs, and take his foot in my hands. _  
_ **Light: Huh? What are you doing?!** _  
I thought I might help you out. You were busy wiping yourself off, anyway._

He's so surprised. I've never touched him like this before. I've kicked him in the face, but I've never laid my hands on him in a kind and helpful way. I've given Light nothing but pain and panic since the first time we met; I've harassed him and pinned him down; he's put a friendly hand on my shoulder when I needed it. And now I'm holding his foot in my hands. _  
_ **Light: L-Look, it's fine! You don't have to do that!** _  
I can give you a massage as well. It's the least I can do to atone for my sins. I'm actually pretty good at this._

He has very smooth, small feet. Well maintained, like the rest of him. I'm drying them, massaging them, feeling the weight of Light's life burdens washing over me. We carry ourselves like that, feet first, supporting all our weight. Taking us where we want to go. _  
_**Light: … Fine, do what you want.** _  
All right._

Mine are often sore - from the way I have to sit, from the way I live my life. All my burdens on the ball of my foot. Light's quite sensitive, the slightest touch makes him wince. He's cold to the touch, no doubt from the rain outside. But Light's body temperate has always run quite cool. I noticed it while we were chained together. He's hot-tempered and passionate in many ways, but his skin, his blood, runs that way. Like ice.

 **Light: Hey!** _  
You'll get used to it._

When I first saw your face, I thought you looked dead, emotionless, as thought you were bored with life. There's a quality about you that seems not quite alive, as if you're truly dead inside and not truly here at all. You feel so cold it's hard to believe your heart is beating at all. Did you ever care at all for me? Could you ever, the way I care for you? _  
_ **Light: Here. You're still soaked.**

He's drying my hair, for me. Acting to help me, support me and ease my burdens. Helping me push the rock back to the top of the hill. _  
I'm sorry._

Sorry for everything I've put you through, sorry for all the things I've done, all the things I will do. I know, somehow, that I will soon die. I am, I suppose, looking for penance. Do I want to see that in Light's eyes? Forgiveness? Even for a moment, I don't think I can persuade him not to kill me. I should be sorry for the people I've harmed, those I've manipulated, but - I'm most sorry because…

 _It'll be lonely, won't it?_

 **Light: Hm?** _  
You and I will be parting ways soon._

I will have to say goodbye. I will keep fighting, no matter what happens, until the moment I stop breathing. For a time, you've eased my burden. But soon, either way, we will have to say goodbye. To part ways forever. You seem upset. Will you miss me, will you mourn me?

My cell phone rings. It's Watari. My trap is ready. I have to keep going. Keep going to my death, whenever it will be.

 _Yes?…I understand. I'm on my way._

You're watching my, suspicious, analyzing, searching for whatever I have in mind.

 _Come on, let's go, Light. It seems like it's all worked out.  
_ I can't look at him now. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him again, certainly not in the eye. I'm going to miss those eyes - everything, really - but seeing them flash and come to life, those rare times when he looks at me - like I'm the only thing that really makes him feel alive…

 _Night._

 _Matsuda: Ryuzaki! What's the meaning of all this?! You've gotten approval from another country to use the notebook for an execution?_

 _Watari, excellent work. Thank you.  
Watari: Not at all._

My plan to prove the 13-day rule false. If it works, we should be able to arrest Misa and prevent the deaths. We cannot allow anyone to get ahold of the notebook before that time. _  
First things first -Please make arrangements to transport the notebook immediately.  
Watari: Right._

Simple enough. Misa has notebook 2. We have notebook 1. Notebook 1 will go, supervised by Watari, to another country (I won't disclose the country's name here, for political reasons). There, it will sit carefully guarded and under surveillance. Light won't have access to it, neither will anyone else. _  
_**Light: Ryuzaki, what are you trying to do?** _  
I'm gonna try out the notebook fully._

They're all so astonished. I've been feeling it, ever since I touched the thing for the first time. That pull, that irresistible urge to give it a try. Like an itch that needs scratching. Use it, just once, kill just one terrible person, what harm could it do? I won't be using it myself - I need to get it away from me, from Light…I've been dwelling in self-hatred ever since at the very thought. I always knew that Kira and I had a lot in common, and I realize now that if I had been in Light's shoes, found this power, in his position, I would have been tempted to use it just as he did. _  
Aizawa: We can't do that! And there is no point in testing it now where we already know that the notebook's power is real!  
Matsuda: And besides, who's gonna write the name? If someone starts writing in the notebook, they'll have to obey the 13-day rule and keep writing names forever!_

If that rule is real. This test will prove, one way or another, if it truly is. If so, then I was wrong about Light and Misa. But I know I wasn't. And this means that Light will feel compelled to take some sort of action against me, to stop me from proving his guilt and that that rule is a fake. I'm almost committing suicide just by enacting this plan. But even if that's the case - I believe it's worth dying, to save the world. And even if I do die…cut off one head, and two more shall take its place. N or M. _  
It's already been worked out. The person who will write in the book is a criminal scheduled to be executed in just over 13 days. If he's still alive, 13 days after writing the name, he'll be pardoned from execution.  
Yagami: But still, to sacrifice a -_

He's going to protest. Like he and Light did, so often, when we fought Higuchi together. We don't have time for a debate. _  
We are very close! If we work this out, the entire case will be solved!_

Just this one trick - the truth will be revealed. You'll all finally know, what I know. I will be believed. I -

The power goes out, with a flash of lightning from the thunderstorm. This is inconvenient - I suppose I should have seen it coming, with the rain all day -

Over the intercom, I hear a cry. A piercing, strangled, gurgling cry of a dying man. One I recognize. _  
… Watari? WATARI -_

The sign comes up. All information deleted.

He's gone. _  
I told Watari to make sure that he should erase all information in the event that something were to happen to him._

Something has happened - something's happening. Watari is - have I gotten him killed? I have. What I said - Light's here, Misa has never seen Watari - so that leaves - _  
Where is the Shinigami?_

She's not here. Not in the room. I'd forgotten about her. She's a god of death. It's just hitting me. A God of Death. She can kill us at any time. And for whatever reason, she's decided to do it. Were our fates ever really in our hands at all? Am I just thinking this to tell myself that Watari's - what's happening - isn't my fault? The task at hand, we're all in danger now. _  
Everyone! The Shiniga -_

My chest seizes up in pain. All feeling is gone from my limbs; I can't move them, can't hold onto my coffee spoon or stay standing on my chair. My whole body goes limp. I'm falling - the world is falling out around me My sense are going numb.

Before I can hit the floor, a pair of arms reach out to catch me. Light's arms. He's holding me. I can see his face - it's all I can see, he's all I can feel. The rest of the world has dropped away; just the ringing of the bells, Light's arms surrounding me, and Light smiling like I've never seen him smile before.

Light Yagami. But…I…I wasn't wrong…so…I…


End file.
